Sin's Flower

by Carlene Love Flores

  “You did it too, sweetie. I’m very proud of you for leaving that jerk all on your own,” Tris said, giving her face a few wipes with the mascara streaked small towel.

  “Thanks.” Lily paused to focus the conversation back to someone else. “Hey sis, out of curiosity, why didn’t you ask Jaxon to come along with Maryella? I keep thinking of him as your distant friend but he’s blood relation, right? Lucky’s cousin because he’s Bear’s son? It sounds like his being here might ease your worry and I bet it would mean the world to his father.”

  There had been a family dinner over at Lucky’s father and uncle’s house a few nights ago and when Tris had mentioned Maryella was confirmed to arrive this week, both Luke and Bear Mason had become mirror images of jolly, but tall, old men. Then Bear had inquired about Jaxon and Lucky had said something about not being sure of his plans yet. You could have heard a pea split at the table for the next few minutes.

  Tris grabbed for the towel again. Oh no, Lily had said the exact wrong thing apparently.

  “I did. He refused.”

  “But you wish he was coming…I can hear it in your voice.”

  Unfortunately, that was when her sister closed up on the topic. “Lily, I’m tired and I should lie down until Lucky and Maryella arrive.”

  Lily noted it was the first time she’d felt her sister pull away from one of their conversations.

  Tris spent the next half hour watching TV then zonked out. Lily covered her with a homemade quilt, admiring the rounded hump of Tris’s belly and what a wonderful mom she was going to be. She then gave her thoughts too much leave and they instantly jumped to a vision of two pregnant sisters shopping for baby clothes and spending hours crocheting blankets together. A fog of depression fumigated her heart because something that perfect wasn’t in her deck of cards. Tris’s baby had a doting daddy awaiting its arrival while Lily still had days of looking over her shoulder to be sure her lousy choice in husband material hadn’t found her.

  She shook off the impossible fantasy and then made her way to the baby-to-be’s nursery to ensure it was all set for Maryella. Lily dressed the air mattress on the floor with the soft pink pillows and comforter Tris had set out earlier on a yellow changing table.

  She smoothed everything until it was perfect for the little girl she felt like she already knew in a big way. What a huge trip for such a young child to make alone.

  But the only trip Lily could truly picture was the crazy one forming in her overwhelmed mind.

  The one that would take her to California to fetch Jaxon James.

  She owed her sister so much.

  Not many people would be able to take in a daily reminder of the abuse they’d suffered as a child. Tris had done it with open arms. Now it was Lily’s turn to return the favor. There was no question this had to be done.

  * * * *

  Los Angeles Airport, aka the last place Jaxon James wanted to be…

  Shit, he knew this was going to be tough but Maryellie might not be making this flight after all. Not if he couldn’t let go and hand her over to the awaiting airline agent. Good thing the woman hadn’t started tapping her navy blue pointy shoed toes. He’d have twisted that into an excuse of not letting his baby girl go with someone so impatient and unreliable. But nope, the honey-colored-hair lady just stood there looking pleasant as ever, not a twitch of her skirted hips nor a glance to her watch to say he needed to get the show on the road broke her unquestionable professionalism. Fuck.

  “Mr. James, I promise we’ll take excellent care of your daughter. We actually have two other unaccompanied minors on this flight so Maryella will have a great time sitting up front with them. The receiving agent in Nashville will contact you once the plane has landed and then again when…let’s see here…” She checked her small clipboard and read from what he guessed was Maryellie’s itinerary. “Here it is, when Mr. and Mrs. Lucky Mason’s identification cards are verified on site and Maryella is formally released to them.”

  Not having risen from his knees yet, he nodded at the long legged agent. Then he leaned into his baby girl’s face and nuzzled her nose for an Eskimo kiss, knocking his Dodgers baseball hat back on his head.

  “Daddy, I want to see you for Christmas. Do you promise to come on another airplane after you finish your work with Uncle Stefan and Uncle Benny?”

  God, he was going to start blubbering right there in the damned airport. He wished it were that easy.

  “Sweetums, Daddy is going to do his very very best to be with you okay? But for now I want you to go have lots of fun with Auntie Trissy and Uncle Lucky. And, you get to see—”

  “I know! I get to meet Grampa Bear,” she said his father’s name with an adorable growl, apparently stoked that she had a grandpa and that he had such a cool name.

  Man, Jaxon was an ass for keeping her away for so long. The guilt hit him hard as her tiny button nose slid to his cheek and then her long eyelashes kissed him like a butterfly. “I have to get on the airplane now, Daddy. Be good and be nice to Uncle Benny.” She kissed her palm and then smeared it into his. “That is Uncle Benny’s kiss. Since he couldn’t come up here with you to say goodbye. You can give it to him when you go back down the escalagator.”

  Her way with words made his eyes all wet. “Okay sweetums. I love you. I’ll talk to you as soon as you land. Be sure you stay with the nice airline lady, okay?”

  She nodded and her uneven, blonde braided piggy tails that he and Benny had tag-teamed that afternoon bounced up and down.

  They waved and he stood watching as she disappeared hand in hand with the airline agent down the tunnel to the plane. Not caring for any undue attention, he made sure to tug his hat back down to shade enough of his face. Hopefully that and the lighter colored clothes he was wearing had made him look less like Jaxon James of Sin Pointe and more like a daddy who was about to have a major moment there in the gate area.

  “Sir, if you sit over here, you can see her plane until it takes off,” the agent who had escorted Maryellie said, respecting his space. Hopefully she wasn’t secretly texting his whereabouts. He was not in the mood.

  Jaxon blew out a gust of breath which dried out his mouth even more. He rubbed hard at his eyebrows, feeling the spread of his skin as it tightened under his fingertips. “Yeah, all right. Thanks.” He dipped his head to her and forced himself away from the gate where he’d just handed his baby girl over to strangers.

  Was he fucking living on planet earth? All this just because he couldn’t find his balls and show up at the Mason family Christmas? He shook his head and caught sight of the leggy agent looking over at him from his right side. She smiled a small, closed mouth smile. “Hey, thank you for doing such a good job with my baby girl. I appreciate it.”

  “Oh, you’re welcome, Mr. James. On behalf of the airline, it was my pleasure to assist you and your daughter.”

  “So formal, good on you,” he’d just said except for then he caught her chewing at her bottom lip. “Um, was there anything else you needed from me?” He never assumed people knew who he was. Once he’d offered to take a picture with a cab driver who it turned out had never heard of Sin Pointe. The guy was instead looking to report Jaxon and Stefan for dressing obscenely while riding in his car. But this girl looked like when out of her proper bun and skirt, she’d fit right in with the rest of the tank top wearing females at his concerts.

  She twisted her mouth like she wanted to ask but couldn’t. Ah hell, here he went. This would backfire, he knew it. He quickly thought of something clever. “Hey um, so I do some scrapbooking with my daughter and with this being her first plane ride, I bet she’d like a photo of the nice young lady who helped her onto the plane. Would you mind taking one with me?” This one was a good girl with manners. She’d never have gotten around to asking him for the pic.

  “Oh my God, are you sure? Really?”

  “Yep. Quick, go get your phone.” She turned to grab it from the gate check-in desk and then returned. No one seemed to have noticed h
er rapid movements. He pulled her in closely to his side and hooked his arm over her shoulder. He snapped the photo since his arms were longer and they were doing this self-portrait style. “Say cheese, darl’.”

  A shudder went through her upper body that he felt too. “Wow, thank you very much Mr. James. That wasn’t for your daughter, was it?”

  “No darl’. That’s for you. Thanks for being a fan of the music.” He leaned in to whisper his own favor. “Be a sweetie though and wait until tomorrow morning if you plan to share that. Deal?”

  She nodded and he wanted to believe her.

  “Oh look, your daughter’s plane is taxiing away now. Should be in the air within minutes.”

  He smiled then left her to go stand right up against the ceiling to floor glass window and watch his heart fly off into the fucking big ass sky without him.

  He couldn’t miss Christmas with her. Who the fuck did that shit? Not him. But the thought of standing toe to toe with his father after deserting him twenty-seven years ago nearly caused Jaxon to choke. And Trissy. Shit, they had unresolved demons to address too. Shit, something had to give if he was gonna face a house full of people he’d fucked over in his practicing days as an idiot. He tugged off his hat to rip a hand through his hair before remembering who and where he was.

  * * * *

  Later that night, a creak sounded in the hallway by Lily’s open bedroom door, startling her awake. She recognized Lucky’s deep voice humming a child’s lullaby in the nursery next door. She tip toed over to get a peek at their new pint-sized houseguest. Oh my goodness, what a doll. And already asleep. Both Tris and Lucky came out of the room after they’d seen Lily in the doorway.

  “Hey, so that’s her. What a cutie,” she whispered to her sister.

  Her answer was a big old face full of Tris’s wild hair and a belly bump as she came in for a hug. “Get back to sleep; I’ll introduce you in the morning.” Tris yawned at the end and slid her feet along the wooden floor until she disappeared into hers and Lucky’s room. Once it was just her and Lucky milling about in the kitchen, cleaning up the few stray dishes from some surprisingly tasty, midnight pudding sandwiches Tris had made, Lily asked him the favor she hadn’t wanted to in front of her sister.

  “Hey Lucky, I actually could use your help in the morning.”

  “Sure Lily, anything. Whatcha need?” He passed her a hand towel.

  “Thanks.” She stalled for a moment realizing how crazy this would sound. “I need a ride to the bus stop.”

  “The bus stop?” Lucky asked, his blue eyes scrutinizing her as if she’d just declared her own insanity. “Any chance you’re willing to share the why, when and where with me?” He gulped down a glass of water.

  “That might not be a good idea.” She was afraid if she told Lucky he’d end up telling Tris and her sister didn’t need any more stress right now. Not with the early contractions that Lily would bet had been caused by the whole “Jaxon’s not coming” situation.

  “Lily, you know your sister would kill me if you left here, something happened, and I not only didn’t tell her but then had no idea where you’d gone. She just got you back, kiddo. You understand, right?” His country boy features were handsome—Tris had great taste—but his tone was entirely too scolding.

  Lily nodded. “I do. But I’m also thirty-one years old, not a kiddo. And this is very important. It’s not like I’m not coming back. I just have to go away for the weekend.” She had no idea how long it would actually take but there were only a couple weeks left before Christmas.

  “I don’t know, Lily. I mean, the bus? Can’t we at least get you a round trip flight somewhere if you’re being serious? I’m happy to take care of that for you if it’s a money issue.”

  Truth be told, yes, it was a money issue, but the whole point of this mission was to do something for Tris, get out of that indebtedness she felt to her sister and brother-in-law. Not bury herself any deeper, personally handing Lucky the shovel. Besides, it wasn’t like she was hitch-hiking. She clicked her tongue against her teeth and then made Lucky an offer.

  “I’ll tell you where I’m going and how long I plan to be there as long as you promise not to tell Tris.”

  “You know I can’t lie to her. Why the need for secrecy?”

  She passed over most of what he’d just said. “I don’t want you lying either, and I didn’t say I was giving you the specifics. Just enough so that in case of an emergency, you know where to start looking.”

  “That’s not funny, Lily.”

  “You’re right; I’m sorry. Lucky, are you gonna help me or not? I could just take a taxi.” Man, if only Tris’s Gramma Grace was still there. But she’d taken off last week for a spur of the moment RV trip with the gals to go visit a dear friend with pneumonia. Lily knew she’d have taken her as far west as she could. Grace didn’t interject much around here, mostly keeping to the garage they’d transformed to her cozy little apartment, but the few things she’d said about this Jaxon had all been kind. Lucky, on the other hand, seemed wishy-washy. Like he wished his cousin the best but would be happy to wash his hands of him.

  “No, I’ll at least get you to the bus stop safely.” He gnawed at his lip. “All right, give me the non-specifics. Just in case.”

  “Thanks, you’re the best.” She nearly cheered her surprise. “I’m planning on being in Southern California for the weekend. I’ve got an old friend to look up.” It was the truth. This guy was an old friend, just not hers. “See, no big deal. And if Tris asks, that’s what you can tell her.”

  The dark blond scruff growing under his bottom lip must have gotten itchy because he started scratching at it like crazy. “Mm-hmm. Sweetie, you know he’s not gonna come. If Jaxon had planned on being here, he’d have flown in with his daughter tonight. Just be happy he sent Maryella to us for the holidays.”

  Caught red-handed, Lily let down all her pretenses. “I don’t understand. Why won’t he just come?”

  “It’s complicated. He’s probably just not ready,” Lucky said, raising one brow like it was something that made all the sense in the world.

  The look in Lucky’s eyes socked her in the heart. There were obviously things she, as a newcomer, wasn’t privy to. Maybe her brother-in-law was jealous that his wife’s best friend was a guy, and not just any guy. Nah, that didn’t suit Lucky at all. But she’d blundered the judging of men’s character worse in the past. A jar of green olives with the red pimientos setting on the counter reminded her of Tom’s deceitful eyes. She longed to squish her fingers into a few of the sour, green and red garnishes until they turned to mush.

  “Look, Jaxon is family. He’s not a bad guy but the last time I saw him, he had a lot on his plate,” he said, emphasizing a lot. “And my guess is that he needs to stay away to deal with it. Which is probably best for now. Maybe he’ll come around next year.”

  She was glad for the level-headedness shining through Lucky’s southern voice. How many times had she told herself the past was the past? Bugscuffle and this good home were the last places she wanted Tom’s cruel likeness pushing its way in. “Gosh, I feel kind of bad for him. I didn’t realize.” It sounded like Jaxon was facing a lot alone.

  “He’ll be all right. And we’ll help out by making sure Maryella has a wonderful Christmas. I really don’t think there’s any point in you going to California, if that’s who you were after.”

  Lucky was a logical guy but maybe he couldn’t see what she saw in Tris’s eyes. That pain of separation others would miss but Lily and her sister knew oh so well. A stray thought of their estranged younger brother, Jack—who had managed to stay deployed since 9-11, marched back and forth in her heart, making her even more determined not to fail. Every time Tris had mentioned Jaxon’s name tonight, she’d gotten all weepy eyed. And every time Lily saw that happen, she pictured the day when Jack was seven, she was nine, and Tris was twelve and a bloodied Tris had been driven away.

  It was just silly that Jaxon wasn’t here. This was his fami
ly too. Heck, she wasn’t just doing Tris a favor; she would be coming back with a chum cousin for Lucky, a sorely missed daddy for Maryella, and Bear’s one and only son. Then Grace would hopefully pull back into town just in time and everyone would be happy. Heck, it might even snow. She pulled the lower layers of her disobedient hair and tucked them behind her ears then pressed her palms firmly to the cool counter. She gave the olives trapped in the glass jar a fixed last glance.

  “You’re still going, aren’t you?” He popped his knuckles until they refused to make any more noise. “Well, you make sure and take your cell phone with you, and the charger. And if you need anything, I mean anything, you call me. Deal?”

  She stuck out her hand to shake on it like the two southerners they were, glad for the overprotective brother in him. “Deal,” she said.

  Lucky gave her a goodnight nod and walked off toward his and Tris’s room. Lily sat there at the breakfast bar on her stool and traced the black and white swirls of the countertop.

  This was important. She’d be back way before Christmas. It was all gonna work out just fine.

  Elusive rock stars were just normal people on the inside.

  God, she’d almost forgotten that detail about Jaxon James. At least it wasn’t Stefan Calderon, Sin Pointe’s lead singer, she had to go after. That man made her hum, all over, with his black hair, golden brown eyes and deep chocolate honey voice. A zoomy feeling raced around her pulse points. If only it had truly stemmed from Stefan lust. But no. She was scared she’d fail. That Jaxon James would take one look at Lily and see her as nothing special. She might not even get as far as explaining whose little sister she was. With her hands glued to the sides of her head and the bones of her elbows digging against the hard counter, she practiced the Lamaze breathing she’d learned with her sister.

  Lily’s life had been a trapeze act for too long and now, thanks to Tris, it was better. But still, a girl needed her best friend. If there was even the slightest possibility she could bring her sister’s back, she was gonna do whatever she had to do to make that happen. I won’t leave ‘til he at least hears me out…Until we’re good as new. Maybe this was the missing piece to making good on that promise.