Sin's Flower

by Carlene Love Flores

The girl must have been desperate, showing up like this. That didn’t matter. Fuck, yes it did. He knew it. Questions flooded his aching head at everything from how Trissy had reconnected with a little sister he knew little about and now this.

  “Shit, Benny. I stay away for two damn years and it’s all for nothing.”

  For the first time since they’d sped away, Benny looked over at him. Oh hell, that look.

  “Maybe it’s as easy as having a conversation with this girl who cares about Trista as much as we both do. Maybe there’s something you can do to help.”

  They pulled up to the drive-thru just in time, keeping Jaxon from exploding with a huge blur of profanities. The cashier’s voice warbled through the speaker while he and Benny sat there silent.

  “Three fish tacos and an horchata,” Benny said to him.

  Realizing he had to order, Jaxon leaned out his window. “Fish taco platter and three horchatas.”

  They pulled forward in a fit of extremely uncomfortable funk and waited for their food until he couldn’t stand ignoring their breathing sounds anymore.

  “What exactly does she want?” Jaxon had forced himself to forget how drawn he’d been to her voice, oh hell…the thoughts he’d had about her body and holding her naked, tumbling around on his bed with Trissy’s baby sister.

  Benny huffed, sending loose wisps of bangs skyward. “For you to go back to Bugscuffle with her so Trista will stop stressing. And, hopefully stop her from having early contractions. I guess the baby’s way too young to be born yet.”

  “Fuck, this isn’t good. What the hell do I do?”

  “You got me, boss.”

  He pulled them into the drive, not bothering to use the garage. This was going to be quick and to the point.

  Inside, she had set the table with plates and cloth napkins he was surprised she’d found.

  “I hope you like fish tacos. And uh, be ready to go first thing tomorrow.”

  Benny was to find the three of them a flight out to Tennessee. Jaxon’s mind was gone. He took his tacos out to the patio, uncomfortable with the grateful look lifting her face. Had she missed his sharp tone and short words? Did she have any idea of the demons she was forcing him to face? Why did she have to smell so damn good?

  Chapter Eight

  For what she’d envisioned of mild winters in Southern California, it was downright cold. The sea outside the guest room’s window pounded loudly, obviously as restless as Lily. She flipped over with a huff and tried her right side. But that ear had been giving her problems ever since she’d gotten carried away and let the powerful showerhead pound her face. Knowing that getting to sleep would quicken tomorrow’s arrival, Lily closed her eyes. As soon as she did, he was there, inviting her back into that pool. But could she trust him? Was he really interested in her? She didn’t think so, but a girl could hope.

  A few hours later, she woke with the need to know she was somewhere safe. Lily wrung her clammy hands together as if she’d just squeezed out way too much lotion and no one wanted to share any. It took another couple minutes before she’d woken enough to be able to move any other part of her body. And yet a few more to realize she was doing something very unnatural. As her mind finished waking, the reality of what she’d done left her humiliated.

  Oh my God, the bed was soaking wet and the unmistakable odor of urine coated the air.

  She sprang up from the soiled mattress in disbelief. In her dream, she’d been squatting in the creek behind her house in Oklahoma. She’d gone to the creek looking for Tris when the warmth from her pee felt so good against that icy cold creek water.

  Panicked, she scrambled around the guest room, flipped on the light switch and stripped the sheets from the bed. What would she do if she were at home? She needed to get a grip. This was worse than accidentally bleeding through on a girlfriend’s bed when you had your period. And hello? She wasn’t some awkward pre-teen anymore at the rare sleepover she’d attended as a kid with a harrowing history of bladder infections. She was a grown woman and no way in heck did thirty-one-year olds wet the bed. Oh, and not just any bed, of course. But one of Jaxon James’. She realized there wasn’t much else she could do. Standing there in the middle of the floor on a nice and dry, warm rug, petrified, she remembered the last piece of her dream, when the door came slightly open from the other side.

  “Lily? Are you okay?”

  She expected Benny.

  She got Jaxon.

  * * * *

  From the doorframe, he could see her arms trembling.

  “Lily.” He walked into the room and made sure she wasn’t standing up asleep. Jaxon didn’t want to scare her. He’d done that once to Trissy and she’d nearly scratched him blind. “Lily,” he said softly, remembering the way he spoke to his baby girl when she’d had a bad dream and needed daddy to tuck her back in. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

  Her head was shaking no before it dipped altogether, bringing her hands up to hide the rest of her face framed by that bright hair. “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “No need to be sorry. Come on.” He knew he was supposed to be keeping his distance but reached his hand out and grasped her lightly by the elbow which pulled her one hand from her face. She looked like she was holding on to tears. Jaxon had no idea what was going on and he’d started to feel highly out of his element. Not to mention worried. Obviously Lily was awake. Maybe getting her to talk would help. She was eyeing the bed like it had the plague, so he offered her a seat on the small sofa in the room.

  “Hey, are you okay?” You shouldn’t be coddling her like this. “I know I haven’t given you a reason to trust me, but you can talk to me, Lily.” Fuck what was he saying? Then he realized she probably had no idea what to expect if she agreed to talk with him now.

  “I promise, I’ll just listen. I’m actually not a bad listener when I try,” he said. Why was he trying so hard? Probably because she looked about as inadequate as he felt right now.

  She watched his face and then blinked. Then it was eyes back down to her lap, hands back up so her face was shielded from his view. Maybe she wasn’t capable of a conversation and her aversion to the bed had him wondering what was wrong with it. He was so completely unsure of what to do for her in that moment that he got up from the sofa and walked over to the bed. He didn’t make it two feet.

  “Jaxon, I…I ruined your bed. I’m sorry.” Her voice shook.

  He took a good long look at it now and for the first time noticed the blankets and sheets had all been stripped and lay in a large pile on the floor. He ran a hand over the bare mattress and stopped at the ring mark of moisture. “Oh shit,” he muttered to himself. Apparently Lily had been sleeping in a bed that had been wet during one of Maryellie’s sleepovers. Lily was probably one of those girls with a sensitive nose, just like Trissy, and hadn’t wanted to say anything about the odor. But then his fingers caught the edge of the mark. Strangely, it was wet to his touch.

  “I’m so so sorry,” she said again to his back. When he turned around, she was looking up at him. The realization must have dawned heavily across his face because her body started to shake. Was she afraid he was angry? What in the hell had happened to this poor girl to make her think he’d be angry with her? But worse than that, what kind of traumatic shit was she dealing with that had her wetting the bed as a grown woman?

  His worst fears snapped into place. Trissy had been taken from home because she’d been abused by her step-father. And Lily…Lily had been left behind.

  Jaxon walked back to the sofa and took a seat by her side. “Lily, don’t worry about the bed,” he assured her.

  She was still holding in her tears. He could tell by the deep frown in her brow, the odd way her mouth was clamped shut and the sniff she allowed through her nose every few seconds. But she nodded, apparently trusting that he could give a shit about a ruined mattress. The important thing, he realized in that instant, was that he wanted her to know he cared about her situation. No matter the way he’d completely ignore
d her until today. He hated that. A sudden realization scared the crap out of him. It was way too deep, the way all he wanted to do just then was hold her in his arms and keep her safe.

  Jaxon found Lily’s two hands in her lap and cupped them inside his. Her eyes looked so tired, whatever sleep she’d managed tonight hadn’t been restful. It was highly unlikely she was up for talking so his priority was to get her somewhere comfortable so she could sleep. He was usually up all hours of the night; he didn’t need his bed.

  “Lily, come with me please.”

  Surprisingly, she followed, still rattled, but not disagreeing.

  He led her by the hand to his room and offered her his bed by letting go of her to turn down the covers he hadn’t yet used that night.

  “There you go. It’s pretty comfy and it’s all yours.” He was doing his best to be tender but stop himself from caring too much. Who knew if it was working? She looked hesitant standing there at the edge of the bed. “Don’t worry, I’ll be downstairs. I’ve got a sleeper sofa in my studio.”

  He must have read her pretty well because finally, Lily sat down where he’d pulled back the covers.

  She deflated right there in front of him. “I’m afraid it might happen again. I…I don’t want to ruin your…”

  In a second, he was at her side, oddly wanting to hold her hand as she sat. He didn’t touch her though. “Shhh, don’t worry. It’s okay, even if it does. I don’t care about the fucking beds.”

  She ran her left hand through her hair at the top of her head, looking very nervous. “I don’t know. I…”

  “Hey, are you worried about getting back to sleep?”

  She nodded her head. “Yeah.”

  “Would you like me to sit with you for a bit?” Jaxon fought against how badly his body called for him to soothe her. He clamped down on his bottom lip in an effort to feel something other than desire to be closer.

  She shrugged. Her covered shoulders were still soft in the moonlight filtering from the bathroom window into his room. “I don’t want to keep you up.”

  “It’s all right. I don’t sleep at night anyway.”

  She laid her head back against the pillow but stayed propped up in a sitting position. Knowing his proximity was dangerous, Jaxon took a few steps back toward the chair in the corner where he usually tossed his clothes and filled it with his mixed up ass instead. Even though it was only a good six feet, it was too far away. He’d picked up on a need in her, even though she’d been holding most everything in. Her arms didn’t seem to be holding her tight enough and her shaking hadn’t gone away yet.

  Finally, the tears began to flow. He was up and out of his chair and sitting on the bed with her within a second. Jaxon hesitated, knowing he shouldn’t, but then held her while she cried.

  “Hey, Lily, it’s going to be okay. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”

  “Thank you.”

  Those two words tore him in more ways than he realized. He’d treated her like a leper but all he heard was the gratitude in her tattered voice. How could he leave her right now? Why did he care this much already? Fuck with the questions. Holding her reminded him he was human. For better or worse, he did have a heart. No, he couldn’t stay too long. Only until she fell back to sleep, with him counting the hours until they packed and he returned Lily to her big sister.

  Her lips puffed out from a deep breath and a faint sigh. She must like the way he was rubbing her scalp.

  “You could have asked me to leave today. You didn’t,” she murmured softly.

  God, she had to stop talking to him like that.

  “A couple years ago, I would have.” And then he thought what an idiot he was for toying with her like this, alluding to a transformation he still struggled with daily.

  She sniffed and rubbed her sleeve against her nose and then an awkward giggle escaped her sweet lips. “Two years ago, I needed permission to so much as leave my house.”

  “Seriously?” Stunned wasn’t a strong enough word.

  She nodded. “Yeah,” she said and closed her eyes. A tear fell down her cheek. “I was an idiot. Now I’m just embarrassed.” The joking end of her remark was obviously for his benefit. She held it together for exactly seven more seconds before her breath hitched again.

  That was it. After hearing that last bit, his macho side cranked into protective mode. Which in turn ignited his true nature. It was going to be a long night of ignoring his body’s reaction to this vulnerable young woman. Desperate for a distraction to his sudden and unexpected arousal, he began humming a lullaby. Fuck if it wasn’t the first time he’d ever done that with such a voluptuous woman in his bed. Forbidden Jaxon, forbidden.

  Chapter Nine

  Someone had done his best to sing her to sleep. It just hadn’t worked.

  “Jaxon, there’s something I should tell you. I would have said it sooner but…” she started to say as they began their walk.

  “But I was a dick and haven’t been around. It’s not your fault.”

  “Okay, so we agree on that.” She smiled and tried to hold on to the easy feeling that came from it. “Thanks for taking this walk with me.” Thick sand and a few broken sea shell fragments masked her toes all the way to the middle bridge of her foot. “I can’t remember the last time I was out this late and never somewhere so stunning.”

  Lily could see why Tris had held on so tightly to Jaxon’s friendship, staying through all that mess with Vangie.

  “Sure. I used to come down here a lot more. It’s nice seeing someone appreciate it. Reminds me I ought to do the same.” He rubbed the back of his neck, thumbing his tattoo several times.

  She hadn’t asked him about it yet. They stood a safe distance from the shoreline, a foot or so separating them from each other. “That’s an interesting tattoo on your neck. It must have hurt.”

  He must have heard that line a million times before because he smirked and then looked to be chewing the inside of his cheek. She guessed she’d blown that attempt and didn’t expect an answer. But he surprised her.

  “It hurt a little. Not so much the inking but having to hold my neck at that angle for so long.” He may have become self-conscious of it from their conversation because Jaxon dropped his hand to his side, leaving red marks from where his fingers had dragged at it. “What about you?”

  “What about me what?”

  He snickered and then spoke more slowly. “Do you have any tattoos?”

  “Nope. None.” Wonderful, this was off to a great start but he didn’t let go of it.

  “What, are you afraid of the pain?”

  Was he taunting her? Poking fun that she wasn’t as tough as him? Unfortunately, she’d had her strength proven a time too many. But that’s not what he meant. Was she afraid of the pain? No, that wasn’t it. “I’m not afraid. But I’d have to love something for a really long time before I made that type of commitment.”

  “You and me both,” he said, pulling at his shirt collar, making it snugger around his thick neck.

  And that was it. He didn’t say another word for a full five minutes. The moon dangled above them making the ocean shiny and black and even more immense than it was in the daytime. Thoughts of Jaxon’s tattoos faded away along with everything else in that moment. She didn’t realize how intently he’d been watching her until he pushed his foot into the sand, touching his toes to hers.

  She coughed to clear her tightening and anxious throat. Now that the moment had passed, she couldn’t seem to swallow enough times to get her voice and wits back.

  “So I have an idea. You obviously enjoy the water, how about I run back up to the house, grab some chairs, and we sit here for a bit. Hmm?”

  Really? Was this all real? She had to remind herself to say something. If it wasn’t enough she’d fallen under the spell of the enormity of the ocean, it was clearly evident Jaxon had his own special hold over her. Oh all right, maybe that had more to do with her fiery red hair and the passionate woman inside challenging her to act and fe
el instinctive. Her priorities had been shuffled like a deck of trick cards. She could keep telling herself she was only here for Tris. But the truth was, ever since Jaxon had strutted past her, not caring about his nakedness, she’d been absorbed in figuring him out. And in a very odd way, she felt both safe and sexy with him. If only she could trust that. “Sounds good,” she finally answered.

  “All right, are you okay on your own for a few minnys?”

  She nodded, smiling at his unique speech. He took off in the direction of his house. His house, for goodness sake, which she could easily see being it was right there. What she wouldn’t do to help him see the beauty in his life. Maybe the only place she’d find that answer was in Tennessee. At least she’d have her chance. Smiling, she drew a silly heart in the sand with her toe but quickly erased it for fear of him seeing.

  * * * *

  Lily sat with her back to him, hair blowing in the breeze. It was the sexiest look he’d seen on a woman. Half of her neck bared to him. The other half hidden by loose cinnamon curls. She was a beautiful woman. How she’d found her way to him was just bananas. Kind of like Stefan who had just kept him on the phone way too long. Band business could wait. Hopefully his mate wouldn’t actually show up tonight. Jaxon didn’t care to explain or introduce his guest. Especially since Stefan was the horniest man he knew and had a thing for red heads.

  Jaxon watched Lily’s hands sinking down into the sand from behind as hesitancy chopped up his steps. Years of ending up in dire situations had made him a decisive man when he needed to be. He was making one of those executive decisions right now. It didn’t matter why she’d come. And he was close to dismissing his reluctance over whose baby sister she was. Not when she wore that swishing angelic lavender top that covered her from neck to shoulder to fingertip, driving him insane with curiosity. God, and that flaming hair which had gone from neon just yesterday to a flattering shade of cinnamon temptation tonight. His grip tightened around the folding chairs he’d gone to fetch. Purposefully, he slowed down.