Sin's Flower

by Carlene Love Flores

  Jaxon’s soft, deeply sexy voice trailed off, well not so much his voice as her mind. She was still clamping back the bitter sweetness at being called baby when the shop doors jingled open, signaling a new customer.

  “Well Jaxon, it was nice talking to you again but I’m sorry, I have to go.”

  “Don’t go yet.” He paused for a long time, long enough for Lily to look up, see the back of a customer’s head browsing some handmade gift items toward the front entrance, and then spin two times on her short stool. “Lily, how is Maryellie doing?” he asked.

  That was the sound of a daddy missing his little girl. There was no mistaking the desperation in his now hearty voice.

  “She’s doing great. Between everyone here, she’s in good hands. Probably getting just a wee bit spoiled. But you had to expect that. She’s my assistant chef and doing a great job.”

  He humphed. “That’s a goody to hear. So, uh, Lily, are you being straight with me? Is Trissy gonna be okay? With the baby and all?”

  She really felt for him. “I mean yeah, she’s going to live. She’s not too thrilled having to be on her back for the foreseeable future. I’m sure you remember how stubborn she can be.” Okay to be honest, this was starting to hurt. In a weird way she didn’t understand. His concern belonged exactly where he’d placed it.

  With her big sis. With Maryella. Not with Lily. So what they’d spent one really great night together? Oh, she was such a fool. She shook her head, realizing Jaxon hadn’t even tried to sleep with her. Not really. What did that say, given who he was?

  So why did she suddenly feel like chucking the phone and burying her face in her favorite quilt? He owed her nada. Zip. Zilch. She should have never gone to Tennessee. Seeking out Jaxon James was beginning to hurt in an all too humiliating and familiar way. Thank goodness he hadn’t ended up coming back here with her. It was bad enough playing third fiddle on the phone. In person, she imagined it would be downright painful. She had no idea what else to say to the man.

  * * * *

  Jaxon had no idea if there was really anything left to say. He’d found out exactly what he’d needed to know. Maryellie was soaking up all the lovey dovey family stuff he’d selfishly been denying her. Trissy was in a bad way with the baby. All because of stress, Lily had said. And Lily, sweet, lovely Lily. Even planted as far away from him as she was, he couldn’t quash the tenderness she blanketed him with.

  “Jaxon, I’m really gonna need to let you go now. I have a customer in the store.”

  “Okay. Well, I guess I’d better get. Can you tell the girls I said hi?”

  “Sure.” She sounded flat. “Okay, bye.” And short. And irritated.

  God, he wasn’t even trying and he was still coming off like a dick. New and improved me. He blew out away from the phone’s mouthpiece.

  “Lily, actually, please tell my Maryellie that Daddy wishes he could be there for Christmas.”

  “Oh, okay. Sure. You, Maryella, Christmas.”

  “Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, worried about the young woman he’d fallen for so quickly.

  * * * *

  No. “Yes. Thanks. I’ll pass along your message.”

  She held the phone in her hand, barely. She’d thought he was on the verge of saying he was coming. Disappointment at how wrong she was must have left her hallucinating. She blinked but could swear her ex-sister-in-law was standing near an empty dress stand Lily was using to catch up on their orders. Lily’s breath hitched from shock and the uncanny resemblance in this woman’s dark hair and tall slender build to Steph and her twin brother, Tom.

  Lily did her best to act like she wasn’t completely on the verge of throwing up, biting her lip in anticipation of the woman turning enough so she could see her face and be sure it wasn’t Steph. Lay off the Kool Aid, Lily. Get a grip.

  She suddenly realized how much effort Stephanie or more importantly, Tom, would have had to put into finding Lily in Bugscuffle. She glanced outside the shop’s windows, looking for Steph’s purple Dodge Neon parked in one of their three spaces. It wasn’t there. Of course it’s not there, silly. She would have had to have driven eleven hours.

  The woman finally spun to check out another table of crochet work but Lily still couldn’t get a good look at her face. She’d never seen Steph in that exact style of sweater but the boot cut jeans and ballet flats were right on the mark. Really, what would Stephanie have stalked Lily here to do? Plead Tom’s case? They’d already gone those rounds back in Oklahoma and Lily had been clear. For the one and only time in her life, she’d been strong enough to stand up for herself. It had taken years of extreme humiliation to arrive at that point but she’d done it. And she didn’t appreciate being reminded of how she’d barely been able to handle that struggle.

  If that was the reason for her visit, it was bound to get real uncomfortable, real fast. Maybe Lily could pretend she was still on the phone. She fished around her apron pocket for her cell and shook her head. Then to make it look real, she falsely punched in the digits of the last number on her call log. She was about to pretend-talk when the phone actually rang. Dang it, I hit talk. Crap. She was about to hang up when he answered. At the same time, the woman became distracted by Tris’s handmade pet clothing, leaving Lily hanging on by the cash register.

  “Hey-yo? Anybody there? I know you’re there, I can hear you breathing. If this is a fan, I truly appreciate your support but I can’t be getting these kinds of calls at this number.”

  Geez, did he have to be so smart-allicky? Whoever this was? Definitely not Jaxon because she’d know his voice now, bad connection or not.

  Well, before the…the non-Australian sounding man on Jaxon’s phone hung up, apparently thinking she was a stalker, she’d better say something. And then figure out what to do, if anything, about Stephanie’s doppelganger. God, this was so weird.

  “I’m sorry. I uh, I think I dialed the wrong number, sir.”

  He stalled but didn’t hang up like she’d expected. “You sound cute. What’s your name, sweetheart?”

  Oh no. How dense could she be? The non-Australian. Who also has fans. Drops in on Jaxon whenever he feels like it. Sexy. Ornery. Stefan Calderon. Her brain was boinking around at how ludicrous it was to now be having her second conversation with a hot rock god while at the same time, scouting out this poor woman who probably just wanted to find a gift and could have used Lily’s help with the selection. It was called customer service and Lily knew she ought to be giving it a lot more effort.

  “Mate, who is it? Is it about Trissy?” Jaxon’s voice sounded dark with worry in the background.

  “Nah man.” And then an annoyed sounding rash of words came her way. “Like I said, who is this?”

  “Lily.” She said her name, shy all of a sudden, keeping an eye on her customer. Only a table away now, the woman scanned the crocheted pet dress she’d picked up. Lily could see enough that the nose was different, pointier than Steph’s more button-like features. She relaxed a drop.

  “Lily…that’s a nice name. Did you know how sexy you sound, sweetheart?”

  Are you kidding me right now? He doesn’t remember me?

  “Lily,” she said quietly, as if testing Stefan’s theory. She sounded nothing like sexy; of course he didn’t remember her. Lily’s hands squeezed the tomato-shaped pin cushion she’d thought was empty until one bit into her palm.

  She then heard Stefan muffle a few words, “It’s a chick named Lily. You know her?” And just like that, she’d been branded as forgettable. Oh well, what did she expect?

  A few curse words were exchanged by the men on the other end of the phone while she started what must look like the peepee dance in front of the customer who wasn’t Stephanie.

  Whether Stefan was listening or not, she started jabbering away to cover up for her staring problem. “Yes. She’s my sister. You and I, we met last week, at Jaxon’s. I should probably let you go.” She really needed to get off the phone, help her customer, and then leave the
shop for the rest of the night. Things had just gotten too psychic-network weird in there. But there were all these orders to produce and it was even more important now that she show Tris she was serious about their new relationship and the life she wanted as part of her family. This was a shared dream of running a dress shop in Momma’s honor. Being distracted by those who couldn’t even remember her name was a waste of time.

  “Hello? Did you hear me? I need to go,” she said.

  He chuckled. Which was entirely too sexy and surreal. “If you insist. ”

  “Yep. I do,” she said unceremoniously. “Listen, I hate to be rude, but I’m having the most crapalicious day so far so can you please tell me why you called?”

  “Sweetheart, you called me.”

  Oh yeah, he was right. Point taken.

  Jaxon’s accent thickened as he ordered Stefan to give him the phone in the background.

  Then finally, Non-Stephanie’s gaze trapped Lily. The woman appeared ready to finish up her browsing.

  “Yes well, I’ll have to get back to you about that,” Lily pretend-talked into the phone. Lord knows where that had come from.

  The last thing she heard was a confused “What?” on the other end and then she hung up.

  “Hi, did you need any help finding anything?” she tried to ask in her most polite voice.

  The woman eyed her for the longest time, playing with the charcoal gray and lime green stitching on the dog sweater. “Nope, I think I found the perfect thing for my husband’s Chihuahua.”

  Lily just smiled and had a healthy back and forth with the woman while going the extra mile and gift wrapping the sweater for her as they spoke. Turned out her name was Vanessa, hubby was Charlie, Chihuahua was Rusty. They lived in nearby Wartrace and had heard from a friend who had heard from a friend about the dress shop. If Lily ever needed her tires rotated or her brakes checked, she could stop in at Charlie’s mechanic shop which wasn’t far at all.

  Harmless, safe, and perfectly representative of her new hometown.

  The fears that her ugly past had followed her here had been pure paranoia. No matter how lonely she’d felt since returning from Jaxon’s, there was no reason to ever go leaving here again. He’d made that abundantly clear and she didn’t need to be told twice.

  The cuckoo clock on the wall sounded and Mr. Blue Jay chirped eight times. She’d better call it a night. Ducking under the counter to gather her things, she found the stack of mail that had gone missing from last week. She quickly flipped through the envelopes, hoping for the final judgment papers from the state of Oklahoma when she saw one with very familiar hand-writing. The return address was Stephanie’s.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Really, world? You have to be this loopy on me all in one night? Well, looks like I’m not going anywhere just yet.” She dropped her bags and plunked down on the floor to read the letter.

  “Hey, long time no see, or hear. Jenn says hi. She told me you’d moved out to some tiny little town that’s beyond small. Even smaller than Shawnee. She says you’re pretty secluded out there. Something about a raging river. I guess that’s why you haven’t kept in touch.”

  Lily just shrugged, dumbfounded at the conclusions Stephanie had come to about her distance and silence. She would have to make time and shoot Jenn an email and ask her to keep her lips shut from now on. Lily continued reading, glad to see the letter was short.

  “Well, Lily, you should know my brother hasn’t left the house since you dumped him.”

  Good, was all she could think. The best thing for the both of them would be for Lily to ask Steph not to write anymore. Or call or share her likeness with unsuspecting dress shop customers. The coincidence of Vanessa’s looks and now this letter had her freaked out. Oh boy, she saw the next line of the letter was written in all caps.

  “DON’T YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?”

  Well, Steph’s anger was definitely saying something to Lily right now. Lily reminded herself that Steph had no idea why after four years, she’d seemingly suddenly left Tom. Even he would have kept the reason a secret. Being so cruel you had to bully your wife to be with you wasn’t brag-worthy. Jerk.

  “It’s personal, Stephanie,” she muttered to the lined stationary as she read the last few lines.

  “I expected more from you. I thought we were friends. I know you and Tom had your problems, but doesn’t every married couple go through that? You owe it to my brother, your husband, to give Tom another chance. He’s miserable. At least call him, for me? Please?”

  She’d signed it Your sister, Steph.

  They weren’t that close and Lily had a real sister who loved her and would never have written such things to put her in such an awful spot. Adding to that, Lily knew that if Tris had ever told Lucky he’d done something to make her feel uncomfortable, he’d have spent his every breath making up for it. Lily had to stop thinking about this damn letter and catch a good full breath. Not to mention all the excitement of the last hour had left her stressed and therefore hungry. Her stomach rumbled.

  She peered up from the floor and had a look around the shop. Just a little straightening and she’d feel okay about calling it quits for the night. Lily took care to fold the afghans on the back shelves.

  She shook her head, but it did nothing to erase Stephanie’s maddening letter. What in the world could she say to that? There was no way she’d ever go back to Tom. Period. Did she really have to write this girl a letter explaining things once again? Hello? That’s what the divorce and the move to a secluded place protected by a raging river was supposed to say for her. Done, finito. Your brother is a living memorial to manipulative pricks everywhere and I’m done visiting. Obviously, Stephanie didn’t know how Tom had treated her. The perfect gentleman when everyone was around, the uncomfortable control freak with a nasty budding desire to record them in bed even though she hated it and had often told him so.

  “I don’t owe him or his family anything,” she said, until she’d made every shelf in the shop stand out with the lovely handmade wares that she and her real sister had created.

  Standing at the shop’s entrance with her bags once again strapped over her shoulders and the rest of the mail tucked to her chest, Lily flipped the “We’re Open” sign over and headed out. With much needed Christmas spirit, the door’s bells jingled closed behind her.

  The darkness of nighttime here had never scared her. She prayed it would always be this way. But wow, what a day.

  So completely surreal. That turned her thoughts back to her call from one half of the world’s greatest band. Namely…Jaxon. If only he’d been calling to check on her tonight. What a feeling that would have been. The cold sounding rain plinked steadily against the shop’s walls, but she was starving. She shuffled her toes snugly into her thin pair of flats and hurried out into the storm, scanning the lot as she went.

  * * * *

  If Stefan wasn’t the absolute only person in the world he trusted to sing his songs, he’d be sporting a sore jaw right now. His mate just stood there with that “I told you so” scowl on his face, taunting Jaxon like usual.

  “I just don’t understand why you bothered calling in the first place if you’re too chicken shit to get your ass on a plane and see her for yourself.”

  Jaxon rubbed at his jaw. “I was worried. And Maryellie is there. It’s not like I have no reason to be calling.”

  “Thank you for making my point. Your daughter is out there, Jaxon. Your best friend. Let’s see who else? Oh yeah, your father, your uncle, your cousin.”

  “You forgot Benny.” There was one more name but he didn’t want to share anything about Lily with Stefan, ever again.

  “Shit, that’s right. Even poor Benny is out at your family’s holiday celebration but here you are. What gives, man?”

  “I know. It’s bananas. I get it, okay? But, maybe it’s just best if they’re all there, and I’m here. Besides, I can’t just leave you all alone, can I?”

  “Fuck that. You�
��re chicken shit, Jax. I’m calling you on it. And don’t give me that lame bullshit that they’re better off away from you.” Stefan paused. “What happened in that field wasn’t your fault. Yeah, I’m going there right now. You need to get right with that. Dude, I can’t believe you’d miss Christmas with your daughter because of one fucked up night two years ago. Your girls need you, bro.”

  Jaxon considered everything Stefan said. Even though he wanted to pummel him to the ground, he was right. Heartburn steamed and bubbled through his innies. Maybe it was time to put this new and improved version of himself to the test. He slapped his thighs. “Come with?”

  “Nah, maybe next time. Ma’s having some problems back home. I fly out tomorrow to see her.”

  “Sorry to hear that, mate. Anything I can do?”

  “Yeah, get your sorry ass to Buttscuffle.” Stefan grinned at his mispronunciation.

  “Drive me to the airport in the morning?”

  “At your service, boss.”

  Jaxon punched Stefan in the chest before his good friend snuck in a hug and then whispered, “Go to Tennessee. Clear your head. Then get your ass back here with some good songs for me to sing.”

  So Stefan was fed up with the old material. That made two of them. Maybe some new experiences, new places, would help.

  “You know what you need?” Stefan said before heading to Jaxon’s couch.

  “What, mate?” But he knew what was about to come out of Stefan’s mouth…pussy.

  “A new girl. Maybe someone nice for a change,” he said and then disappeared to the living room.

  “A new girl,” Jaxon mumbled to himself while a vision of Lily snuggled up to his side, rubbing her foot up and down his shin drove him upstairs to pack. Fuck, the thought of her had him rock hard.

  * * * *

  Stone cold with indecision, Lily went inside, sat down and looked for something scorching hot from the menu. Her toes tingled and ached as the blood must be thawing back out. She reached a hand under her table to rub the stabbing feeling away. The waitress came by and took her order, ignoring the fact she’d let her shoes fall to the floor.