Fighting Redemption

by Sidney Bristol

  “Want to talk about it?” Jenna slid off him to lie on her side, stretched out next to him, one hand curled under her face, the other splayed over his heart.

  “I need to go for a run.” He tossed the covers back, and the chill swept down to his damp toes.

  “Want some company? I’ve got time before my appointment.”

  “Appointment?” He glanced over his shoulder.

  “Yeah, I might not have had a chance to tell you, but my head doctor said he could squeeze me in this morning for a quick chat.” She took a deep breath and glanced at the sheets. “Figured I should tackle the problem from both sides.”

  “You don’t have PTSD.” He said it because he needed to believe it. A stalker he could find, charge and toss in jail. Her demons? How could he help her with those when his still haunted him? No, it had to be a stalker. He couldn’t lose her to the horrors she’d experienced overseas.

  But what about the coaster? The one she said was gone? It’d been sitting on her desk, clear as day.

  Yeah, a stalker could have replaced that item. But she could have moved it.

  Jenna didn’t argue the point, but he felt it nonetheless. It was in the way she didn’t look at him, the tight lines around her mouth and the sudden silence on her side.

  “Long or short?” He crossed to the dresser and yanked out a pair of shorts and socks.

  “What?”

  “The run. Long or short?”

  “Um, probably short. I’ll need to shower then get to Ft Worth, and the traffic might be an issue.”

  Ft Worth. He needed to call about what to do with his resume. The directions on the letter weren’t explicitly clear. If he was serious about making this move, then he needed to put this morning off to good use.

  But would they want him after they dug into his history?

  Was it worth finding out?

  He dressed on auto-pilot, vaguely aware of Jenna moving around him, in and out of the room, brushing her teeth, putting on shoes, getting ready.

  Strange. Even when he woke up before the dream ended, his mind supplied the same, graphic images over and over again. They were etched into his memory, but so far they hadn’t been shoved to the forefront of his consciousness.

  Jenna leaned over the dresser, peering into the mirror while she pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

  Was it because of her? The change in his routine?

  How many times had he dreamt of having her in his life in more than just a support role on the job? More than he could count. It was a bit surreal that she was here. That they’d done what they did. His heart knocked around in his chest. God, she was beautiful and funny and courageous. There wasn’t another woman like her.

  Her reflection glanced at him and she smiled.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Nothing.” He tugged on his other shoe.

  “Not fair.”

  “What?”

  “You didn’t let me answer with nothing last night.”

  “That was different. You were pissed.”

  “And you’re—?”

  “Not awake.” He took one step toward her and smacked the round curve of her bottom. The neon green shorts were just long enough to be decent and short enough to remind him of every inch of those legs wrapped around him.

  “And you want to go for a run instead of, I don’t know, get some coffee?”

  “You don’t drink coffee. Come on. Genghis, here, boy.” He slapped his thigh, and the dog bounded after him.

  “I haven’t ran first thing since PT.”

  “This is good for you.”

  “I think you’re bad for me.”

  The banter continued, light hearted and fun all the way to the street. Despite her flimsy protests, Jenna led the way, setting the pace out the door, Genghis bounding along ahead of her on their normal route. Her golden pony tail swept back and forth and her shorts seemed to shrink.

  “Do we need to slow down for you?” He glimpsed her grin as she glanced back at him.

  “Just admiring the scenery.”

  Her laughter danced over his skin, infecting him with her joy. His cheeks practically ached with all the laughing and smiling he’d done the last few days. When had he been happier than with her? What would it be to live every day like this? Magical.

  He couldn’t lose her.

  From the moment he’d kissed her he knew falling for her was certain. He just didn’t know how hard it would be. How much he’d be willing to put on the line. Last night he’d almost decked Trevor. And they were lying to everyone. People he’d worked and bled with. He’d lie to them again if it meant he got to be with her.

  They made the fourth turn and headed back toward his house.

  Huh. Had the people across the street gotten a new car? It was kind of ugly. He hadn’t noticed it when they left.

  The hair on the back of his neck rose.

  There was a person behind the wheel.

  “Jenna,” he blurted.

  No sooner had he realized there was a decidedly masculine figure in the driver’s seat than the car started, chugging a thick plume of exhaust at them. The license place was partially obscured by a splatter of mud, but he could make out a few of the letters.

  “Jenna, let’s go inside.”

  He couldn’t be certain the car didn’t belong there, that the neighbor’s didn’t have a friend over or dropping something off, but he’d prefer to be cautious.

  “Sure.” She slowed to a walk and crossed the street.

  Alex kept an eye on the cross street the car turned on all the while mentally running through the make, model and the digits he could make out.

  He didn’t believe in coincidences.

  “You want a shower first?” she asked as he held the front door for her and Genghis.

  She didn’t even realize he was keeping his body between her and the last place he’d seen the car. If the stalker had found his house...

  He followed her in and locked the door.

  “You shower first. Want something to take with you on the road?” He nearly tripped on Genghis zigzagging in front of him as the dog picked the most inconvenient place to flop down.

  “That would be great, but I can just pick something up.”

  “I’ll scramble some eggs. Oh, I picked you up some hot chocolate yesterday. I don’t know if it’s the kind you like or anything.” Damn. He should have asked.

  “That’s sweet of you. You didn’t have to do that.”

  “Well, if I want you to keep coming over I figure I’d better.”

  “You want me to keep coming over, huh?”

  “Sure do.”

  Jenna continued to talk at him, but he didn’t pay attention to her words. Was everything just as it should be? Was anything out of place? According to her notes, if the stalker was here, the evidence would be small. Something they might not notice.

  Damn it, he wanted her out of here now, but he couldn’t rule out he was being paranoid. The best thing to do was get her off to her appointment as soon as possible.

  He waited until she sequestered herself in the bathroom before doing a walk through on the house. If anything was gone, he didn’t notice it. Genghis seemed to pick up on his anxiety and tailed him on his search. All they found was Mittens curled up under the coffee table with one of Alex’s shoes for a pillow.

  Maybe it was just his imagination.

  Still, better to be safe.

  He dialed one of the guys he knew was working that morning and called in a favor to run the partial plate and cross reference with the vehicle’s make and model. Someone would ask him about it later, but hopefully by then they would have enough evidence to take it to the detectives.

  Alex grabbed his Bluetooth headset on his way to the kitchen and dialed the direct number for the SWAT supervisor.

  “Assistant Chief York’s office,” a woman said in a sing-song manner.

  “Uh...” He could have sworn the paper he’d received hadn’t said Assistant Chief. Yes
, it was right there in his hand and nowhere on it did it say Assistant Chief.

  “Hello?”

  “Yes, sorry, just checking to make sure I dialed the right number.” He set the letter on the kitchen table and stared at the fridge.

  “What can I help you with?” To the woman’s credit, she didn’t show a drop of annoyance.

  “I received a letter from a Captain Sean York...”

  “That man. Sean keeps using out dated stationary if I’m not hovering around him.”

  “Oh.”

  “It’s the same Sean York, I’m sure.”

  “Right. I got a letter about applying for the SWAT Sergeant, but it’s been some time ago.”

  “What’s your name?”

  “Alex Myers.”

  “Oh, yes, I have a note to call you so you’re saving me the trouble.”

  “I see.”

  “What’s your schedule like? Sean would like to talk to you in person if possible.”

  “I’m free this morning.”

  “Seriously? How’s ten for you?”

  “That would be great, but—what am I coming in for?”

  “Technically, it’s the first interview. Since Sean’s replacement SWAT Captain and Sergeant left, he’s handling the hiring process directly.”

  Both? So the rumors were true. Interesting.

  “I—oh. Okay.” This was too fast. He’d barely decided he was interested, and now he was going to interview? He needed to check up on the plates. He needed to shower. He needed to get Jenna out the damn door.

  “Great. See you in a bit then. You know the way?”

  “I do.”

  “Fantastic. Looking forward to meeting you.”

  Alex hung up and shook his head. It felt like he had a bunch of rookies driving their first course in his stomach. He was going to interview for Sergeant. When he’d come to Texas, he’d thought that was a pipe dream, that the best he could hope for was a patrol route and a badge. Part of him wanted to tell Jenna—but what if he didn’t get it? It was unlikely. Once they found out about Detroit, there was no way they’d promote him. But changing departments would mean he was free to be with Jenna. The woman he was falling fast and hard for.

  He glanced at the entry to the hall, and beyond that the bathroom.

  For her, it was worth it. He wouldn’t tell her, not until he knew if he had a shot or not. But this could be their chance.

  JENNA RIPPED THE PRESCRIPTION for sleeping pills into tiny pieces and dumped them into her cup holder. Half an hour with her VA appointed shrink, and he thought she just needed something to help her sleep.

  Yeah right.

  These last few days with Alex were—God, they were amazing—but the reality of it was between the nightmares and the times she couldn’t account for were too suspect. Like what happened with her car. Alex thought it was a stalker, but what if it was her? What if she’d spaced out and driven somewhere by herself without realizing what she was doing? Yes, sleep deprivation could be the answer, but what about everything else? She understood her mental history was solid and his wait and see approach was what she expected, but damn it. What if she did something? Or hurt someone? No, she wasn’t in the same kind of shape as she’d been back when she was enlisted, but she could still kill a person with her bare hands if she needed to. And if she was out of it? If she had a flashback? She might think she needed to protect herself, and then what? Hurting someone wasn’t an option. She couldn’t live with herself if she did that.

  She inhaled and closed her eyes, counting to ten. Each passing second calmed her nerves.

  It was good to hear another professional tell her she wasn’t crazy. That everything indicated she was just over-worked and stressed out. Maybe she needed to back off picking up everyone’s extra shifts this summer and just—relax. A little time to recharge might be what she needed.

  On the other hand, it would mean she had more time to be in one place while her stalker watched her. She glanced around the parking lot, but all the vehicles were foreign to her. If she was being watched, there was no way to tell. Not unless she saw a guy with binoculars staring right at her.

  Sterling should arrive any minute.

  They’d opted to meet up at a diner. In the middle of the morning the only other people there were retirees drinking coffee and shooting the bull Jenna figured they could score some pie and be left in peace. Her phone whistled with an incoming text message.

  Here.

  Jenna climbed out of her car and paused to make sure it was locked. Alex might be positive it wasn’t her broken melon, but they couldn’t be sure. As she strolled to the entrance to the diner she jotted down a note to herself of the time and that the car was locked.

  Alex’s little notebook was coming in awfully handy. In another week or so she’d have a complete profile of her days, the way she was going.

  A woman with a short fringe of hair stood at the front of the diner, hands in her jeans. She still wore her army issue combat boots and green t-shirt.

  The last image Jenna had of Staff Sergeant Sterling Kuhn was of the woman in her MP uniform, posture tight, saluting the convoy taking Jenna to the front lines. Their careers had begun around the same time, but had later split as she joined the forces pushing forward into dangerous territory. It was a very different picture compared to now and the way Sterling kept staring at the busy street.

  Jenna swallowed hard. More than a few veterans had walked into traffic as a way of ending things.

  “Sterling, hey!” She screwed on her smile. Whatever her possible issues were, they were nothing compared to what Sterling was living now.

  Sterling started, eyes going wide for a moment before she spotted Jenna. Wherever Sterling’s mind had been, it wasn’t at a diner in Texas.

  “Hey.” Sterling pulled her hand out of her pocket and waved. The smile was weak, but she tried.

  “Give me a hug, you.” Jenna spread her arms and waited the half a beat for Sterling to shrink from the embrace or grit her teeth and bear it.

  Instead, Sterling unfolded her arms and seemed to welcome the hug. Jenna squeezed the other woman tight, wishing the act could squish all her pieces back together like clay in the hands of a child. If only their bodies were so malleable.

  She stepped back and searched Sterling’s face. There were changes, the kind Jenna could see on the skin and in the way Sterling looked at Jenna.

  “It’s so good to see you. Let’s get inside. I hear they have a great chocolate pie.” Jenna gestured at the doors.

  Sterling nodded woodenly and let Jenna navigate getting them a table and drinks.

  “How was the drive?” Jenna leaned her elbows on the table. There were so many things she wanted to ask Sterling. What had gone wrong? Where had her accident happened? Who else was dead? But she couldn’t go there. So she started with something simple.

  “I hate driving.” Sterling shook her head and chuckled, but the sound was as dry as the Afghanistan desert.

  “It’s crazy, isn’t it? I got out of the city as fast as I could.”

  “Where are you living, again?”

  “Ransom. It’s north of Ft Worth, right where 820 and 35W intersect. It used to be all farms and ranches. That’s what I remember it being. I still get a little shocked that there’s a Target and a Wal-Mart.”

  “Starbucks?”

  “They had their grand opening like, two days after I moved into my house there. I think they’re about to open another one on the north side of town.”

  “Shit. You live in the city.”

  “Yeah, I know, it’s changing, but it still has a lot of that small town vibe, which is nice. I don’t feel quite so lost in the crowd or like there’s people on top of me.”

  “Maybe I should move there, get out of Grapevine.”

  “That’s not a bad idea. I have a second bedroom.”

  “My folks would freak out.”

  “You staying with them?”

  “Yeah. They’re really great about all
of this.”

  Jenna nodded. Damn, she needed to call her parents. They couldn’t know what was going on, but still, just hearing their voices was nice.

  “I bet you want to know what happened.” Sterling’s smile was tight, and not at all happy.

  Yeah Jenna did, but where to start?

  “We can just hang out.” She shrugged.

  “I know, but...I need to talk to someone who was there, but my shrink and my parents and...everyone...they just don’t get it.”

  “Yeah.” She blew out a breath. “And even when they do, they don’t get what it was like to be a woman out there.”

  “There weren’t a lot of us.” Sterling stared at the wall and tapped a sugar packet on the table. “Where did you go after Camp Bastion?”

  “Oh man. Let me think.” She closed one eye and squinted at the ceiling as if that would help her memory. “After Bastion...I was home. That was the last place I was stationed during that deployment. I was state side, then I went back, but that was the beginning of my time assigned to the forward units. We were in the valley for...a couple of months before they moved us to...God it all blurs together.”

  “Were you at a FOB?”

  Jenna shook her head. A forward operating base would have been a cake walk compared to where she’d been.

  “No, I was assigned to a unit as their medic.” Which was, and wasn’t, a lot like what she did now with SWAT. Only, there was no going home at the end of the day to a safe, comfy bed. There’d been nights she’d huddled behind a hesco with nothing but her vest and helmet for a blanket and dirt under her.

  “What?” Sterling sat forward, thoroughly engaged now. “I didn’t think they’d assign a woman medic to those units.”

  “I can’t be sure, but I think it was a cultural thing. Up in the valley they were doing so much fighting and killing. They’d get the friendly locals caught in the crossfire and the women and children...”

  “Yeah.”

  “So, I think that’s why I was there. For the guys, but also for them.”