by Barbara Goss
“Ben, too?”
“I’ll try,” he said. “Do you have a place to go when you’re released?”
He saw her face transformed immediately from an eye-sparkling smile to a sad, frown.
“No. I have no one except my cousin, and his cold, nasty wife.”
“No matter. I’ll see you set up where you feel comfortable,” he said.
“I don’t want to be with strangers,” she said.
“Don’t worry, I’ll see that you aren’t.” He stood up and held out his arm. She smiled up at him, stood, and placed her hand on his arm, and they walked back into the building.
Later that day, Carter went to the north wing to look for Ben. He spotted him exactly where Susannah said he’d be, in the sitting room, playing solitaire.
“Hello, Ben,” Carter said, sitting down beside him.
“Hello. Hey, aren’t you one of the doctors?” he asked.
“Yes. You remembered. I’m Dr. Harding. I saw you last year when I worked with Dr. Emmanuel,” he said.
He noticed that Ben was a fairly attractive man, about the same age as him. He wondered again if perhaps Susannah hadn't been smitten with Ben. He was good looking, and he had taken good care of her, after all.
“I came down to see you for a reason. I work in the south wing now, and—”
“South wing?” Ben almost shouted. “Did you happen to see Susannah?”
Carter felt his blood pressure rise suddenly, and his face flushed with the effect.
“Yes. In fact, she’s asked me to help you get released from this place. Is that what you want?” Carter knew he’d fight hard to get Ben released for three reasons: the first was to please Susannah, the second was to end her relationship with him, and the third reason was that he doubted very much if Ben still belonged there.
“She did? Wow! I thought she’d forget all about me. She got upset at the Thanksgiving dinner, I’m not sure why, but before that day, she’d never caused a bit of trouble here. Will she be returning to this wing soon?”
“Perhaps. Susannah said you looked out for her when she was here. That was very kind of you,” Carter said. “I’ll do everything in my power to see you get released, after I check your file, of course. I believe you suffer from the after-shock of war. How do you feel now?”
“I’m okay. I still cringe when I think about some of the stuff I saw, but I don’t get anxious anymore,” he said. “I’m going to find a job as soon as I get out, and I’m going to marry Susannah, and take care of her forever.”
“I see,” Carter said, feeling a bit disappointed, probably because he’d begun to have fond feelings for her himself. He never in his wildest dreams ever thought he’d be attracted to one of his mental patients.
“Has Susannah agreed to marry you?”
“Well, not really, but she will. She’s like me, neither of us have anyone outside of this place,” he said.
“Are you in love with Susannah?” he asked.
“In love? No. At least, I don’t think so. We’re just good friends, but I am fond of her so marrying her would be a good solution for us both. I suppose if we remained friends for a while longer it could turn to love,” he said thoughtfully.
Carter stood. “I’ll see what I can do, Ben”
On his way back to the south wing, Carter tried to figure out what it was about Susannah that had him completely bewitched. She was all he could think about lately. When he was in bed at night, and he closed his eyes, all he could see were two green eyes set into the face of a beautiful woman, and he felt confused.
Was it just sympathy that he felt for her?
What else could there be that would draw him like a magnet to her?
Chapter 6
Carter returned to his office, bringing Ben Turner’s medical file with him. He scanned through it from the first page to the last. When he was done, he slammed the folder down onto his filing cabinet, and held his head in his hands. This wasn’t going to be as easy as he’d imagined. Ben had been involved in an incident with a woman patient three years ago, where they were found, in his room, having sex that she had claimed was against her will. The woman had since been released from the hospital. How could he let Susannah go anywhere near Ben after discovering his previous behavior?
There was a knock on his office door and he yelled, “Come in.”
In walked Hillyer Clawson. “I need a word with you, Dr. Harding.”
“Have a seat, sir,” Carter said, indicating a chair near his desk. After Clawson had taken a seat, he cleared his throat.
“It has come to the attention of several in this wing that you’ve been showing a bit more attention to a patient than is expected of a doctor. What’s going on?” he said, rubbing his scraggly mustache.
Carter thought the day couldn’t possibly get any worse. He rubbed his temples.
“Miss Baker is suffering from shock,” he explained. “She witnessed her whole family being massacred by Indians, recently, in Oberlin. She isn’t crazy, but she’s severely stressed. I’ve been treating her with laudanum, and chaperoning her on trips outdoors to relieve that stress. She has been responding beautifully to this treatment. I don’t know why you’d think my treatment was inappropriate.”
Clawson stood. “She is a very attractive woman, Dr. Harding.
I would be careful, as several of the orderlies have commented on your frequent and lengthy visits with her. Please remember to keep the doctor/patient relationship professional.” He opened the door, walked out, and closed it behind him.
Carter shook his head. Should he stop escorting Susannah outdoors? She loved it so.
How could he stay away from her when he was drawn to her like a magnet? He had to get her released soon. He’d have to find a place for her where she’d be comfortable. He sat for a few moments thinking.
There was his brother, Seth, and his wife, Meg. They lived right there in St. Joseph. He’d stayed with them himself until just a few months ago when he’d purchased his own home. He knew Seth and Meg would treat her well. Meg was a lovely person and he was confident she’d love Susannah. She and Seth were avid Christians who’d recently introduced him to God, which might be just what Susannah needed too. If she agreed to stay with them, then he’d be able to continue seeing her without Clawson or the orderlies watching.
He took out Susannah’s file. Yes, he’d work on getting her released. He couldn’t send her back to Ben, and he’d be walking on eggshells here on the south wing with her.
Susannah looked up when she heard someone knock, and then the key turned in the door. She wondered if it was Dr. Harding. She so looked forward to seeing him each day; he was such a pleasant man.
She felt her face fall when she saw it was not Dr. Harding who entered, but the administrator who’d visited her previously.
“Hello, Susannah,” he said. “Remember me? I’m Hillyer Clawson.”
Susannah nodded, and wondered why he was visiting her again. He took a seat in the chair nearest him and opened the file he'd been holding.
“I see Dr. Harding has been taking good care of you. You seem much better than the last time I visited. How do you feel?”
“I no longer feel like I’m living inside a cloud, my nightmares have lessened, and I’m actually looking forward to living again,” she replied.
“Good. Good,” he said. “I see Dr. Harding’s been taking you outdoors. How do you feel about going outside?”
“I look forward to it. Outside, I can smell the flowers, I can touch the trees, and I can breathe fresh air. Dr. Harding is so kind to take the time out of his busy day to escort me.”
“Hmm, yes,” Clawson said. “So, you like Dr. Harding?”
“Yes. He seems very thorough, and he's has helped me out of the fog I was living in.”
“I see. I think you’re ready to go back to the north wing, Susannah,” he said as he stood. He walked to the door. “I’ll arrange it, immediately.”
“Thank you!” Susannah said.
“You’re very welcome.”
That very afternoon, the orderlies escorted her back to the north wing. They gave her a different room this time, one closer to the sitting and dining rooms, so she was happy with it.
She felt a bit sad that she probably wouldn't see Dr. Harding anymore, but she'd still be able to go outdoors with a pass. She realized she’d miss him, and that fact surprised her. Her emotions had begun to return to her, and this one made her feel a bit depressed, until she saw Ben in the sitting room, and then she forgot all about Harding, and greeted Ben warmly.
“Susannah,” he said, standing. He gave her a loose hug. “Welcome back.”
Carter was furious when he learned Clawson had moved Susannah back to the north wing. He had to get her released, and quickly, at that. He spent the next week buried in the paperwork necessary to get the case before a judge to have her released.
He dared not visit her on the north wing, as it would certainly look suspicious if he did.
Susannah had been on the north wing for over a week, when Clawson came to see Carter again. This time he brought someone with him, who he introduced him as Susannah’s cousin Harry Boulanger.
The three men sat in Carter’s office. Carter had no idea why they came to him when he was no longer treating Susannah.
“Dr. Harding was treating your cousin, Mr. Boulanger. She’s no longer his patient, but so far he’s the only one that has been able to help her. So I thought we should run what you told me by him, just to be sure that your appearance won’t cause Susannah another episode,” Clawson said. “Tell Dr. Harding what you told me.”
“All right,” Harry said. “My mother and Susannah’s mother were sisters. Her mother was a good woman and my conscience is bothering me something terrible that I let my wife talk me into bringing her here. She isn’t crazy at all. She saw her family killed, and she's suffering from that memory, is all. I want to get her out of here.”
“Mr. Boulanger,” Carter said. “Susannah told me she wasn’t comfortable in your home." He shook his head. "I can’t let you take her back. It’s out of the question.”
“I’ve left my wife. I finally got sick and tired of her nagging and her mean spiritedness, and then, with what she did to Susannah? Well, I’d just had enough. My mother would be rolling over in her grave if she knew what I’d done to Susannah.”
“I see,” Carter said. “Where would you take her, then?”
“Well, that’s another matter,” Harry said. “She came with a carpetbag full of personal papers. My wife took everything of value already, except for the house and property that belongs to Susannah. She tried to sell it, but she didn’t realize you can’t sell a land grant. I finally managed to get the deed from her. The money’s gone, and so is the jewelry, but I saved the deed to the land grant.”
“I’m not sure she’d want it after what happened,” Carter said. “Just seeing the house again could bring all of the fear and anxiety back.”
“I understand, but I put her here, and I’m her only relative, and I aim to take her out—today, if possible,” Harry said firmly.
Clawson and Carter exchanged looks.
“She has to have medical clearance,” Clawson said.
“Well, you’d better get it, then,” Harry said. “I’m not leaving St. Joseph without her.”
“So you plan on taking Susannah from this hospital directly back to the home where she saw her family massacred? You do understand, Mr. Boulanger that seeing that house could set Susannah off again,” Carter said.
“Then I’ll burn it to the ground and help her to build a new house on the property,” Harry said.
“May I suggest that you do that, first? In the meantime, we’ll work on getting her medical clearance,” Carter said.
Boulanger shrugged. “I suppose I could do that. It would give me a place to stay until she’s released. I could help her build another house on the land far away from where the attack took place. Will you see that she gets home, then?”
“I’ll see to it she gets safely home to Oberlin,” Carter said. Boulanger nodded and left the office.
“Sir, tell me one thing,” Carter said to Clawson after the cousin was gone, “why did you come to me with this and not Susannah’s doctor on the north wing?”
“Because he hasn't even seen her, yet. He failed to evaluate her when she returned to the wing, and he's about to be terminated,” Clawson said.
“I wish you’d have consulted me before sending her to the north wing,” Carter said.
“Why?”
“Because she's close friends with a man named Ben, who’s on that wing—very close friends, in fact. I checked his file and he and a woman were found in a delicate situation in his room. According to the report, he may have been forcing himself on her. When they were caught, she denied having been a willing participant in the act, but you can never be sure. I’m worried about Susannah—she’s very vulnerable right now.”
“I was trying to protect you, Dr. Harding. Rumors were running rampant about the two of you, and I feared losing one of the best doctors I have on staff because of it.”
“Can you bring her back, or at least separate her from this Ben?”
“Do you still have Ben’s file?”
“No, I returned it,” Carter said.
“I’ll see about getting him released. I’ll go check his file. If I’m not mistaken, he’s been here over five years now, and he's quite over his war shock. The only reason he’s still here is that he has no family petitioning for his release. He’s gone unnoticed, as a result, especially with Dr. Simpson in charge of that wing. The man is useless.”
“Could I take his place?” Carter asked. “I feel completely useless on this wing. The people here are too far-gone for me to benefit. I’m here to help people, not tie them up, put them in boxes, or give them electric shocks.”
Clawson fingered his chin. “You know, that might be a good idea. I figured the people on the south wing needed your help more, but I can understand how frustrating it must be trying to help those who are so far gone that they’re beyond help. The people on the north wing might be more receptive to your treatments.” Clawson rubbed his chin in thought. “I want you to start there tomorrow, but keep it professional with Miss Baker, please.”
Ben escorted Susannah outside, and to their bench by the pond.
“It’s so good to have you back, Susannah. I missed you,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.
Susannah smiled. She liked Ben, but she missed Dr. Harding. She’d felt a bit depressed since coming back to the north wing, and even seeing Ben again hadn’t lifted her spirits for long.
Ben put his arm around her. “I think Dr. Harding is going to appeal for my release, thanks to your intervention. Thank you for that.”
Susannah smiled. “I think you should be out in the world. This is no place for a healthy, young man to live.”
“I promise to wait for you, and take care of you, even marry you so it’ll be respectable,” he said, tightening his arm around her shoulder.
Susannah looked at his hand on her shoulder and quickly stood. “Let’s walk a bit more,” she said.
Ben joined her, and they walked to the other side of the pond. Susannah was tempted to walk around to the other side of the building in the hope of seeing Dr. Harding, but she knew he probably wouldn’t be there.
“Ben,” she said, “I’m not ready to get married. I don’t know what I’d do if I was released, so I think I’ll stick around for a while. I feel secure here.”
Ben frowned. “But I want to take care of you. You’re my best friend in the world.”
“And I care for you, too, but, marriage is for people who are in love and plan to have a family. I want what my parents had: love.”
“That would come later, Susannah!”
“I’m not ready, Ben. You go. I wish you all the luck in the world.”
Ben stamped his foot in anger. “I’m going inside,” he huffed.
Susannah
started to call him back but changed her mind. She shrugged. Maybe Ben still had some issues with anger. She hoped he’d eventually get over it.
She went back to the bench, sat down, and enjoyed the sounds, sights, and aromas of the outdoors, but everything seemed so much better on the other side of the building, for some reason.
When Susannah returned to the north wing, she walked down to the sitting room where Ben was sitting playing solitaire. She wondered if he was still angry with her as she sat down beside him.
“Winning?” she asked.
“Hi, Susannah,” he said cheerfully. “Nah.” He swore at the cards and threw them down onto the table.
“Are you still angry with me?” she asked.
“No, I can’t stay mad at you,” he said with a smile. “But I won’t give up on you, either. We will end up married, and I’ll always be around to protect you and take care of you.
She noticed Ben hadn’t shaved in a while—he’d always been close-shaven before. He seemed somehow different to her since she'd returned to the wing.
“I still need to heal some more,” she said. “You befriended me when I needed it most, and whatever happens, you’ll always be my friend.”
Chapter 7
Carter was elated that he was scheduled to start the very next day on the north wing. The patients there weren’t violent, and they didn't scream. Most could be helped, and Susannah was there, besides. He smiled at the thought. He missed seeing her eyes light up when she saw flowers, and tried to make out shapes in the clouds. She even appreciated the smell of the outdoors. Taking her outside made him feel the same way he'd felt years ago, when he'd cured a sick animal.
He didn’t know what he should do about Ben. Was he really ready to be released? He’d have to re-evaluate him, as well.
Lately, he’d been considering leaving State Lunatic Asylum #2 in favor of another occupation. The work had been depressing, and he hadn't been able to really help anyone in the south wing. If he liked the north wing and was able to help some of the people there, maybe he’d reconsider. He’d been spending his nights at the local college studying veterinary medicine, just in case.
