by Barbara Goss
Why had he thought he'd be able to help mentally insane people in the first place? Maybe it was because his older sister had committed suicide owing to her mental condition.
He left the hospital on his horse, Pal, and headed to his brother’s house where he slid from the saddle and tied his horse to the post. He mounted the twelve, steep steps to the door of his brother’s home.
Meg opened the door and her mouth immediately formed an “o”.
What was that all about?
“Carter. We weren’t expecting you.”
“That appears to be true, judging by the look on your face. What’s going on?”
“Who is it, Meg?” his brother, Seth, asked from behind her.
The look of surprise on his face was even more unmistakable.
“I came to ask a favor,” he said. “I’d also like to know why everyone’s so surprised to see me? I do make it a habit to stop by every now and again."
“Come in, Carter,” Meg said, stepping aside. “I just need to warn you that Cecilia’s staying with us,” she whispered quickly, “but we didn’t invite her.”
“Cecilia?” he asked as he moved inside and stood in the foyer.
“Hello, Carter,” a female voice said from the parlor.
“Oh, that Cecilia,” he said. “I could come back another time—”
“Don’t leave on my account,” Cecilia said. “It is your brother’s home, after all.”
Carter stepped into the parlor and nodded to Cecilia. She looked the same as she had two years ago at Hope’s funeral: morose.
“How’s your mother?” he asked.
“She’s managing.”
“Shall we relax in the sitting room?” Meg asked. “I’ll make tea.”
They moved through the parlor and into the sitting room. Carter waited for Cecilia to sit down before he chose a seat as far away from her as he could. It was hard to believe she came from the same household as Hope—they were as different as night and day
“How long are you staying?” Carter asked Cecilia.
“I’ve been here a week and I plan to stay until the end of the month. Why do you ask?” Cecilia asked.
“I have a patient that I’d hoped Meg and Seth could house for a spell,” he said. From the horrified looks on their faces, he felt the need to clarify. “She’s not mentally ill. She’s just recuperating from shock.”
Seth smiled. “Why does she need a place to stay, for how long, and why us?
“She’s from Oberlin, Kansas, where the most recent Indian massacre took place. Her whole family was killed in it. She was in the cornfield at the time and witnessed the whole thing. She’s been in shock and suffering from severe anxiety ever since. Her cousin couldn’t deal with her nightmares and sent her to #2. I thought about how warm and sympathetic Meg is, and how this would be the perfect place for her.”
“How sad,” Meg said. “Of course, we can take her in.”
“We’ve plenty of room,” Seth added. “How old is she?”
“She’s eighteen.”
“Oh, the poor dear,” Meg said. “I’ll do what I can, but about the nightmares—”
“She won’t be released until they've stopped entirely. They’ve already begun to lessen,” Carter said.
Meg looked between Cecilia and Carter and said to her husband, “Seth, will you help me with the tea?”
He nodded and followed her out of the room.
Carter looked at Cecilia. She had her pitch black hair tied back in some sort of a twist at the base of her neck, and her gray eyes seemed to be squinting, as if she were always plotting. She was a pretty woman, or would be if she hadn't affected a permanent expression of acrimony and ceased squinting. Carter wondered if she might not be in need of some spectacles.
“So, is this eighteen-year-old Hope’s replacement?” Cecilia said, rather bitterly, Carter thought.
“Don’t,” he warned.
“I came to see Meg, but I also hoped you’d stop by so I could clear the air between us. Is that possible?”
“I’m not the one holding a grudge.”
“Of course, because you weren’t the one who was jilted—I was—and for my own sister. I wished you’d married her, though, and not gone off to college. She might still be alive.”
“Why do you say that?”
“She was so depressed after you left that it affected her health. She was hardly eating or sleeping, and when she took ill, her body was already so weak, that it took her quickly.”
“I wrote to her every single week,” Carter said. “If you’re trying to blame her death on me, Cecilia, it won’t work. I wasn’t to blame. I wanted to get an education so I could support her properly after we married.”
“I suppose,” she conceded. She stood, and moved over to his side of the room, and sat beside him. Her perfume assaulted his nostrils. She always wore a scent that didn’t agree with him, strong and overpowering, just like her personality.
“Friends?”
He gave her a slight smile. “Of course, friends.”
“Is there any chance for us to be more, Carter?”
Carter sighed. “No. Never. I think about Hope every time I see you, and I’d really like to move on. It’s been two years.”
“So, who is she?”
“There isn’t a she, yet, but I do plan on moving on.”
“You and I were so good together until you fell for Hope. I’d hoped—”
“I’m sorry, Cecilia. It will never happen.”
When Seth and Meg brought in the tea, Carter asked for a word alone with Meg, and she followed him to the front door.
“I’ll bring Susannah over here when she’s ready. If Cecilia is still here, make sure she doesn’t upset her—she can be quite conniving and mean.”
“I know she can, but what was I supposed to do when she showed up here? She didn’t come here to see me. Since she's arrived she’s done nothing but pace the house and wait for you to visit. I had hoped you wouldn't for a while,” Meg said.
“Why do you think she was waiting for me?”
“She's hardly spent any time with me at all. She hasn't given Audra and Sam a second look, either. They’re kids and they don’t understand grownups who don’t even say hello to them. I, for one, hope she leaves early.”
“I, for two,” Carter said and he and Meg shared a laugh.
“She did ask if we could be more than friends,” Carter said, “and I told her, no. Maybe now she’ll pack up and leave. You’d think that after I neglected to answer any of the letters she sent me, she’d have taken the hint.”
“What did you ever see in her?” Meg asked.
Carter shook his head. “Darned if I know. Truthfully, when I first met her she was younger and not as hard-skinned as she is now, but over time she slowly began to show her true colors, and when I met her sister, Hope, I knew she was the one I wanted. Hope was everything Cecilia wasn’t. I miss her.”
“As we all do,” Meg said. “Well, I’ll prepare a room upstairs for Susannah, and make it warm and inviting. Maybe if I let my hostess skills fall a bit below standard for a few days Cecilia will take the hint and go home.” She winked.
When Carter first awoke the next morning, he felt excited about something, but couldn’t remember what it was. Then he remembered. He was slated to start on the north wing today, and he'd be able to see Susannah there. His heart felt as if it had skipped a beat whenever he thought of her.
For once, he couldn’t get to work fast enough.
Chapter 8
Susannah allowed Ben to escort her to breakfast. She'd shied away from the dining room since her return to the north wing, preferring, instead, to have her meals sent to her room. It would be the first time she'd been inside the dining room since Thanksgiving, and she shivered as she entered. As usual, Ben padded her hand to comfort her, and they started eating.
Between bites Ben said, “I have something important to show you, but it’s sort of private. Can you come to my room for a mo
ment after we eat?”
“Of course. Can you give me a hint about it?”
“All right, I love games. It’s something you will love, and something I’ve been wanting to give you for a long time.”
“So I can keep it?”
“If you want it, yes.”
Susannah smiled. “I love surprises.”
After they’d both pushed their plates away, they left the dining room. Ben seemed anxious to show her the surprise, so she following him with curiosity. He opened the door to his room, looked left and right to be sure no one saw them, and he gently pulled her into the room.
“I don’t want anyone to see us, as this is highly improper, but will only take a few minutes,” Ben said.
“All right,” she said, gazing about the neat room. “Where is it? I’m so curious.”
“Right here,” he said and pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. Susannah was caught completely off guard. She let him kiss her because she was too shocked to move. She didn’t return the kiss—she didn’t like it. Finally, she managed to push him away.
She started to ask him what he was doing, but he was breathing heavily and looking at her in a way she’d never seen him do before. His eyes were wide, and he was leaning in toward her, trying to kiss her again.
Susannah bent backward to avoid another kiss. She didn’t panic as she’d always felt safe with Ben, but she didn’t know if she should be angry, or scared and bolt from the room. She’d never been kissed before. Was he simply showing his gratitude or was he still trying to get her to agree to marry him?
“Let me go, Ben. I don’t like this.”
“You will if you just let me do what I need to,” he said panting. “I know you’ll like it.”
“No.” She pushed him back harder than she’d intended. Now she was beginning to feel scared. “I want to leave.”
“Not yet,” he said. “You will have to marry me if I compromise you. My brother compromised his wife and then was forced to marry her. It’ll work. Let me bed you Susannah,” he said. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a woman, and I want you so badly.”
Susannah gasped. “No!” She was now trembling and trying to push him away. “Help!” she yelled.
Ben tried to cover her mouth but she bit him and screamed as loudly as she could.
The door to Ben’s room flew open and Dr. Harding grabbed Ben by his shirt and slammed him against the far wall. Susannah didn’t stick around, but ran as fast as she could to her room, shut her door, curled up into a ball on her bed, and cried.
She’d lost track of time, but she figured it might have been ten or fifteen minutes later that she heard a soft knocking at door. She cringed, thinking it might be Ben. “Go away!” she yelled.
The door slowly opened and she saw it was Dr. Harding. She still lay there still quivering. He walked over, sat on the edge of her bed, and gently rubbed her shoulder.
“It’s all right, Susannah. No harm was done, but I’m afraid your friend Ben won’t be released any time soon.” His voice was so gentle and soft that she felt herself slowly responding to it.
“I can’t stay here. He’ll try again,” she said breathlessly. “I did nothing to encourage his attack. He said he had a something for me in his room.”
“Ben's in the south wing, now. He had to be restrained, and I’m afraid he's being given a cold water bath at this very moment,” Carter said, still rubbing her shoulder softly.
“He said he had something to show me—a surprise. I trusted him!”
“Come here,” he said gently. He pulled her to him and hugged her, rubbing her shoulder and arm the whole time. “It’s all right. No one will ever hurt you again. I’ll see to it.”
Susannah slowly stopped trembling. She felt safe in Dr. Harding’s grasp. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beating, which was such a comfort to her.
Reluctantly, she pulled away. “Thank you,” she said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
“I’m going to see that you're released as soon as the nightmares stop. I've arranged for you to live with my brother, Seth, and his wife, Meg. Meg's a gentle, sympathetic woman, and she’ll take very good care of you, I promise.”
Susannah studied him. He was serious. “You would do that for me?”
“I already have, and they're looking forward to having you.”
“But why? I’m just another patient here,” she said.
“No, you aren’t. You’re a special patient who made me feel like a hero because you responded to my treatment so well. There aren’t any other patients here that I can say the same about.”
“Really? I’m special?” she asked.
“Very special.”
“How did you happen to be here? Aren’t you working in the south wing?”
“It was providence, or maybe in God’s plan that today’s my first day working this floor. Do you believe in God, Susannah?”
“Of course, but I haven't thought much about him, lately. Why would he allow those savages to kill my family? They believed in Him, as well.”
“There are many things in this world that we don’t understand. Meg’s been a Christian and a churchgoer much longer than I have, so you'll have to ask her, but I definitely feel that I was meant to be here today, so I could save you from Ben.”
“I haven’t had a nightmare since I’ve been back on this wing. I hope Ben’s attack on me doesn’t bring them back,” she said.
“I hope not, and I only work until four, but I know one of the orderlies—his name is Frank—and I’ll have him watch out for you when I’m not here. He owes me a few favors.” He smiled and winked at her.
“Will I see you when I go to live with your brother and his wife?” she asked. “Do they live around here?”
“They live right here in St. Joseph, so you can still be my patient."
“How can I ever thank you?” she asked.
“By getting better, and following your doctor’s orders,” he said, tapping her on the nose lightly.
“Will I still get those special pills?”
“Maybe, but a very low dose. I’ve been reducing them all the while, as I can’t have you getting addicted to them. If they help you, I’m willing to keep you on them for a while longer,” he said.
He stood to leave.
“Don’t go!” she cried. She wondered where those words had come from. She hadn’t planned on saying them; the words just seemed to pop out.
He sat back down, and hugged her to him again, rocking her back and forth. She felt so secure in his arms, but she knew she eventually had to let him go—surely, he had other patients to see to.
“I’m sorry, Dr. Harding. I just feel so safe when you’re here.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked.
“Yes. Of course,” she said, still resting her head on his chest.
“I like making you feel safe, too,” he said and gave her a final squeeze. “But duty calls.”
His words pleased her to no end. He liked being with her, too. She felt something she’d never felt before, and it was a rather pleasant feeling.
“All right.”
“Will you come in and say goodbye before you leave for the day?” she asked.
“I will. And just between you and me, you can call me Carter when no one’s around. That’s what friends do.” He smiled and squeezed her hand. He walked to the door, opened it, winked, and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.
Susannah sighed. Was this what love felt like?
Carter knew he had to get Susannah out of the hospital as soon as possible as he could no longer fight his attraction to her. His heart went out to her. It could very well be sympathy, but he’d never felt so drawn to anyone before.
Maybe he should have let her cousin take her. Then it hit him. She was probably a voluntary patient, which meant he could release her with just a medical discharge. He ran to the office and grabbed her file.
Yes! She had voluntarily
signed in!
He could take her to Seth and Meg when he was sure the nightmares were gone.
After a successful medical discharge signed by doctors Harding and Clawson, Susannah was released.
Carter transported her to Seth and Meg's himself. He helped her up the steps to his brother’s home, noting her look of awe when she looked up at the old, three-story colonial home.
“What does your brother do for a living? This is a magnificent home.”
“He runs one of the biggest liveries in St. Joseph. He learned the trade from my father who ran the second biggest livery in St. Louis.”
Carter was about to knock when the door flew open. Meg smiled, and took Susannah’s hands and welcomed her warmly. Carter was never so proud of his brother’s wife as he was now. This was just what Susannah needed.
Once inside, they showed Susannah to the room they’d given her. It was a lovely room on the second floor, with pink and gold wallpaper, a large window, and a large four-poster bed. Susannah went to the window, anxious to see her view. The window looked out over the front of the house. Horses and buggies, people walking—It was a delightful city view.
“If you wish for a quieter room—”
“Oh, no,” Susannah turned and smiled at Meg. “This is lovely. I want to see people moving about. I feel safe here, and I don’t want to be isolated.”
“I’m glad,” Meg said, returning her smile. “You and I’ll get along wonderfully.”
Meg smoothed the pink and white quilt on Susannah’s bed. “Do you sew?”
“I embroider and knit,” Susannah said.
“I’ll give you a project, then, something to keep you occupied. Which of the two do you prefer?”
“Knitting is more calming. I might like to knit a scarf before winter is over.”
