by Barbara Goss
“I have several you can borrow,” Meg said.
“No, I’d like to knit one for Dr. Harding. He’s been so good to me.”
“He’d like that,” Meg said. “Would you like to leave your things to unpack later, and have tea with me now?”
“I’d love a cup of tea. Thank you.” Susannah followed Meg downstairs and into the cozy country kitchen, where they sat and sipped freshly brewed tea.
“A tea party and I wasn’t invited?” a dark-haired woman said from the doorway of the kitchen.
“Oh, I didn’t know where you were,” Meg said. “Of course, you’re invited. Have a seat.” Meg jumped up to get another cup and saucer.
“Susannah, this is Cecilia Hillman, a family friend. Cecilia I’d like you to meet our new houseguest, Susannah. Sorry, Susannah, Carter didn’t tell me your last name.”
“Baker, Susannah Baker. Nice to meet you,” Susannah said shyly.
“So, you’re the basket case, Carter is pampering,” Cecilia said.
“Cecilia!” Meg turned and scowled at her.
“Well, is she?”
“Could I see you in the sitting room, Cecilia?” Meg asked curtly.
Cecilia grimaced and followed Meg.
Susannah wasn’t sure what a basket case was. She knew what a basket was, but one never put a basket inside a case. She was puzzled. She knew what pampering meant, but not how it fit with the basket and the case.
Meg came back into the room wearing a smile. “Cecilia has an appointment she’s forgotten about. Pay her no mind. She’s sort of an uninvited guest that we’ve had to put up with.”
“I’m sorry,” Susannah said. “What’s a basket case?”
Meg bit her lower lip. “I…I think it’s someone who’s recuperating from an illness. People bring flowers in a basket…the case is the medical issue.”
“So why is she upset that Dr. Harding is helping me recuperate with a bit of pampering.”
“She’s jealous; pay her no mind.”
“Is she being courted by Dr. Harding?” Susannah asked.
“No!” Meg answered. “He doesn’t like her at all. She’s the sister of the woman Carter was going to marry.”
“Oh, the one that died. Hope, I think it was.”
“Yes, but they’ve always been different as night is to day. Hope was a sweet person. It’s a shame she died,” Meg said, shaking her head.
“I’ll try to keep Cecilia away from you, but don’t pay any heed to a thing she says. She wants Carter to court her and he refuses to have a thing to do with her. I’ve been hoping she’d leave. It’s very discouraging to have a houseguest who doesn’t want to go home.”
“If I overstay my welcome, will you tell me?” Susannah asked.
“I have a feeling I’m going to like having you here. I can tell we’ll get along fine. You’ll have to meet Audra and Sam. They’re in school now. Audra is ten, and Sam is eight.”
Susannah grew quiet, thinking about her sisters and brothers. She wanted to tell Meg she had siblings about the same age, but she knew she’d burst out into tears if she did, so she kept quiet, and switched her thinking.
“About the knitting—what color do you think Dr. Harding would like for his scarf?” Susannah asked.
“Black to match his coat. And it’s all right to call him Carter. We’re home now. This is your home for as long as you’d like. I’m Meg, my husband is Seth, and it would be nice to be on first name basis with each other. More family-like, isn’t it?” Meg asked.
Susannah nodded and sipped some of her tea. “You have a lovely home.”
“Thank you. I love it here.”
“Can we get started on the knitting today?” Susannah asked.
“As soon as we’ve finished our tea,” Meg said.
“Does Dr. Ha—I mean, Carter, live here too?” she asked.
“Oh, no. He used to, but he bought a darling little house about two miles away,” Meg said.
“We loved having him. Of all the Harding boys, I love Carter the most.”
“There are more of them?” Susannah asked.
“Oh, he comes from a large family. There’s the oldest, Hugh, then came Imogene, who died, Cyrus, Wesley, Seth, Carter, Nathan, and Elizabeth. His parents, Mary and Charles are wonderful people.”
“Do they all live in St. Joseph?”
“No. Most of them are in St. Louis, except for Seth, Carter, and Nathan. Nathan owns a lumberyard here in St. Joseph, so you’ll be sure to meet him soon. We all meet on Sunday to attend church, and then dinner, usually here.”
“Are there any Indians around here?”
“No, Susannah,” Meg said gently. “They don’t usually come to the cities to live. Most people don’t usually tolerate them. Besides most of them are on the reservations. I think there’s an Indian woman married to a trapper on the outskirts of the city, but from what I hear, she’s a very nice woman.”
Susannah shivered.
Chapter 9
After Carter saw Susannah settled he left, making up his mind not to stop and see her until Sunday, as he desperately needed to put some space between them to figure out what his feelings were. He should no longer feel sympathy for Susannah, for she was almost back to normal. She would probably be just fine.
There was only one big problem: whatever was he going to do with her?
She couldn’t stay with Meg and Seth forever.
And what if that cousin returned and wanted to take her away?
He liked working with the patients in the north wing so much better. He felt he could help those people a lot more than those on the south wing, and it was much quieter.
He’d still attend his night school courses and pursue veterinary medicine, though.
What to do about Cecilia?
He feared she’d say or do something to upset Susannah, for she was bound to be jealous of her. He’d have to assure everyone that there was nothing going on between Susannah and himself except for him being her doctor. As long as Cecilia stayed with Seth and Meg, he couldn’t give any undue attention to Susannah, no matter how much he wanted to.
Dratted Cecilia; she was spoiling everything.
On Sunday he stood in the church foyer, waiting for Seth, Meg, Susannah, and the children to arrive. He knew Cecilia wouldn’t come to church—she never did. He nodded to several people he knew while he waited. When he saw Seth coming down the path, he opened the church door and greeted them. He tried to keep his expression the same for Susannah as he had for Meg, but there was no controlling his eyes. He, of course, made a bit of a fuss over the children.
Seth led them all to their regular seats in the front row. Their family had their own pew, as did several other families who had contributed much to the church coffers. Seth and Carter stood off to the side and let Meg, the children, and Susannah slide in first. Seth motioned for Carter to slide in beside Susannah, and Seth sat on the aisle. Carter overheard the children arguing over who would get to sit next to Susannah. He knew then that she must have showered them with attention, and he smiled. In the end, he didn’t get to sit beside Susannah, because Audra and Sam had each insisted on sitting beside her. It's just as well, he thought. Sitting beside an attractive woman no one knew was bound to give people in the church the wrong impression.
His younger brother, Nathan, showed up, and they all scooted down to make room for him. He took the aisle seat beside Seth.
Outside of church, after the service, Carter introduced Susannah to Nathan. He didn’t elaborate on their relationship, and Nathan assumed she was someone he was courting. Everyone agreed they'd meet an hour later at Meg and Seth’s for Sunday dinner.
Sunday dinner went well, as Cecilia was quiet for a change, and spent the meal observing everyone. Carter was careful not to show any emotion where Susannah was concerned, lest it be construed as affection. Nathan cornered him on his way to the outhouse.
“So, who is she?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
“A family friend.”
“
If she’s not being courted by you, I might be interested,” Nathan said with a wink.
Carson felt his face flush with anger, but he tried to tamp it down. “I don't think she's ready for you, Nathan. I want her to fully recuperate, and her cousin may come for her at any time.”
“Recuperate?”
“If you must know, she was a patient from the hospital who’s under my protection.”
“Why? What’s wrong with her?”
“Nothing. She was committed by an aunt who wanted to be rid of her for her money.”
“Does that happen often?”
“I’m afraid it does.”
“Let me just take her for a ride in my new buggy…” Nathan let the sentence hang.
“No!”
Well, you don’t have to get so upset, unless, of course, you're stamping out your territory?” Nathan asked.
Carter shook his head. He had to tell Nathan something. “I do have a bit of a soft spot for her, but I can’t show it with Cecilia here. She’d tear Susannah apart if she thought we were more than just doctor and patient.”
“Are you more than doctor and patient?”
“No, not yet. I’m very fond of her, though.”
“I see,” Nathan said. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
“Good,” Carter said.
“So Cecilia’s still after you?” he asked.
“I thought she’d leave when I told her I had no intention of getting back with her. I never answered any of her letters, and yet she stays here and refuses to give up. Meg is tired of her,” Carter said. “If you want to take someone for a drive, take her—and leave her somewhere.”
“I wouldn’t touch her with gloves on,” Nathan said.
Susannah always loved sitting outdoors, but with snow on the ground and the air so cold she was denied that enjoyment. She did, however, sit in front of her bedroom window for hours at a time, just watching people walking or riding by. She wondered where each of them was going. She’d see a man dressed up, riding his buggy with a bouquet of flowers on the seat beside him and wonder if he going courting, or to a cemetery. She’d see a woman dressed poorly, huddling in the cold and trudging through the snow, and wonder if she was going to the store to buy food. To keep herself occupied, she invented a mission for everyone.
“Don’t you get bored staring out that window all day?” a woman’s voice asked.
Susannah swung around to face the other houseguest.
“Hello,” Susannah said. “I enjoy watching people.”
Cecilia walked into the room. “So what’s going on between you and Carter?”
Susannah hesitated. “Excuse me?” she said.
“There must be some reason why he brought you here. Is he your lover?” Cecilia asked.
“I’ve never…I’ve never had a lover. He’s my doctor. I had nowhere to go and he took pity on me.”
“Pity! That’s exactly Carter’s pattern,” Cecilia said. “Did you know he once courted me?”
“I didn’t know that.” Susannah wondered what that had to do with her.
“He was mine until he took pity on my sister, Hope, because she was a meek, spineless, creature who couldn’t swat a fly without help,” Cecilia said bitterly. “Carter pities you. He is such a soft sop that he can’t even doctor animals because he can’t put one down when it can’t be cured.”
Susannah cocked her head at Cecilia, wondering what this all had to do with her.
“I’m sure now why Carter brought you here. He pities you. That’s all it is.”
Susannah simply stared at the brazen woman.
“It’s too bad you’ll never know if he cares for you or he simply pities you. Good luck with him,” Cecilia said, and walked from the room.
Shortly after Cecilia had left the room, Meg came in and greeted her cheerfully.
“Let’s go downstairs and have a cup of tea. I’ve made cinnamon rolls, too. I remembered how much you liked them on Sunday,” Meg said.
Susannah smiled. “I’d love that.” She stood and followed Meg downstairs.
Once they were sitting in the cozy kitchen, Meg put a warm cinnamon roll on a plate and put it in front of Susannah.
“That smells heavenly,” Susannah said.
Meg poured their tea. “You may wonder why I’m feeling so cheerful. Cecilia has just announced she’s leaving tomorrow.” Meg sighed. “God forgive me, but she is a tough one to love.”
“She said that Carter is helping me because he pities me,” Susannah said.
“There may be some truth to that. He pities most of his patients, but he's yet to bring one home,” Meg said. “Don’t pay any attention to Cecilia. She practically begged Carter to take her back and he refused, so she’s been a real sourpuss—more than is normal for her, that is.”
Susannah took a bite from the cinnamon roll. “Mmm…this is sinful.”
“Glad you like it,” Meg said. “Speaking of sin, what did you think of our church?”
“It was pleasant. It saddened me somewhat, though.”
“Why?”
“My family—we went to church every Sunday. We prayed and we were a good Christian family. We believed God loved us. So why would he allow them to be killed like that?” Susannah wiped a stray tear away.
“You might want to talk with Reverend Smith about that. I’m no minister, but the way I understand it, God gave man free will, and because of that, some men do horrible things,” Meg said. “God made the world perfect, but after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, well, it brought evil into the world.
“Whenever I lose a loved one, I wonder: is death the best or the worst thing that could happen to a Christian? They may be going somewhere lovely, while we’re stuck here on earth with all the evil.”
“I never thought of that,” Susannah said.
“When I’ve lost someone to death, I think of Luke 23:43 where Jesus tells the other man on the cross that today thou shalt be with me in paradise. That tells me that people who believe in Him, like your family, are with Him in paradise after death.
“The fact that you were spared, Susannah, tells me that God has a purpose for your life. Make Him proud, dear.”
Susannah sat up straighter in her chair. “I never thought of it in that way! God has a purpose for me…I will make him proud,” she vowed.
“Good for you,” Meg said.
“I think I’m going to go back home, to the place where it happened. I want to put flowers on their graves, and carry on with the dreams they had. The last thing I want now is to be pitied. I was spared in that massacre for a reason. I have to thank God and live the life he spared. To have spent time moping around in a hospital was no way to thank Him for sparing me. I can see it clearly now, thanks to you,” she patted Meg’s hand.
“I have to make something of my life. For some reason God chose to let me live. I’ll still mourn my family, but I’m over the fear and anxiety. I know without a doubt they are with God in paradise.”
“I’m glad you see things now, but I don’t want to lose you, Susannah. Don’t go. Stay here with us. I think Carter wants to be more than just your doctor but don’t tell him I said so.”
“I’m fond of him, too, but this is something I have to do, that I feel moved to accomplish. If God wants me to be with Carter or any other man, He’ll have to move me in that direction. Right now, all I want is to go home,” Susannah said.
She took the last bite of her cinnamon roll, and the last sip of her tea and stood. “I’m going upstairs to pack.”
As Susannah folded what little clothes she had into her valise, Cecilia peeked into her room.
“Going somewhere?” she asked.
“I am,” she said, without looking up at her.
“I thought you had nowhere to go.”
“I have a home and I’m going there,” Susannah said.
“Maybe I’ll stay a few more days. Carter may need a shoulder to cry on after you’ve left,” she said.
“If that should be n
ecessary, which I doubt, I hope he’ll find a better shoulder to cry on than yours, Cecilia.”
“What? How dare you?” Cecilia said. “What happened to the meek little-pitied mouse you were an hour ago?”
“I have a life to lead, and I’m starting right now.”
“I think you should be put back in that hospital. You’re having personality swings.”
Susannah closed her valise with finality. “At least I have a personality.” She picked up her valise and walked down the stairs.
Meg met her at the bottom of the stairs. “How will you go, Susannah? Have you money?”
Susannah stopped dead in her tracks. “Oh, dear! I haven’t any.”
“Wait until Seth or Carter gets here. I’ve sent them both messages. They’ll help you. Please don’t try to go alone,” Meg pleaded.
“I suppose I have no choice,” Susannah said.
“Come, sit down, and we’ll see what the men suggest.”
Chapter 10
Carter was in his office going over a recent patient evaluation when an orderly rushed in waving a paper.
“Message for you, Dr. Carter,” he said.
Carter stood and took the paper. This was a first. He’d never received a message at work before. He thanked the orderly, sat down, and opened the folded paper.
He read it, crumpled it, and threw it across the room. Then he flew to the coat rack, hurriedly put on his overcoat, and rushed from the room. The orderly was still on his way down the corridor.
“Tell Clawson I’ve left for the day for a family emergency,” he told the orderly as he passed him in the hall.
Carter yanked open the door to Seth and Meg’s home and rushed into the sitting room, where he found Seth and Meg sitting on the sofa, and Susannah sitting on an armchair with a valise at her feet.
“What’s going on?” Carter said, his eyes scanning the three of them for a hint of the problem. “What’s with the valise, Susannah?”
“I’m going home.”
“It was Cecilia, wasn’t it?” Carter demanded, as he took off his coat and tossed it over the back of a chair.
