Ruin Me: A Sister’s Best Friend Angsty New Adult Romance (Hawthorn Hills Duet Book 3)

by Claire Raye

  Ruby shakes her head. “No,” she says, hand on my jaw. “Not since my sophomore year really.” I nod, but don’t say anything. “Can I ask you something else?” she says.

  I chuckle, resting my head back on her chest again. “Yes. Honestly, Ruby, you can ask me anything you want,” I tell her, meaning it.

  I already want to tell her everything, every secret I’ve hidden, every bit of pain I went through these last two years. All the shit that happened that made me leave Providence. It’s weird that I feel so ready to share this stuff with her given I can’t even bring myself to tell my sister or my best friend. But I just feel so connected to her, and more than that, I trust her.

  “Last Monday when you kissed me like you did?”

  “Yeah?”

  Her fingers brush through my hair again. “Why’d you do that?”

  I smile against her skin, my eyes closing as I remember back to the moment I just said fuck it and went for it. It was dangerous and stupid and everything I shouldn’t be doing but I was tired of trying to fight it, of trying to stop myself. And fuck me if it hadn’t been everything I’d fantasized about and so much more.

  “Was it just because of my professor?” she asks and I can hear the nervousness in her question.

  I lift my head, my eyes finding hers. “No,” I admit. “Your professor was an excuse for doing something I’ve wanted to do since the day I met you.”

  “Really?” she breathes out.

  Laughing, I move closer. “Seriously?” I ask, as Ruby just shrugs. “Jesus, Ruby, that first night, when you wandered into the kitchen, still drunk and barely dressed—”

  “I swear I’d forgotten you were there!” she defends.

  “Oh and doesn’t that make me feel just fucking great,” I tease, kissing her to let her know I’m only playing. “Well I thought you were the hottest, most beautiful thing I had ever seen.”

  Ruby groans as she holds my mouth to hers, kissing me again.

  “You are so much more than that though,” I say, pulling back a little. Ruby stares back at me, her eyes wide. “You’ve seen me at my worst, Ruby,” I whisper. “You’ve seen me broken and you’ve stayed. You help me in ways I can’t even begin to describe and—”

  “Caleb,” she whispers, her fingers on my lips, “you aren’t broken.”

  I let out a slow breath. “I’m a mess, Ruby and you deserve so much better than me. But I’m also selfish and I can’t fight this anymore, can’t stay away, can’t not kiss you,” I tell her. “I’ve wanted to kiss you every day since I met you.”

  Ruby smiles, her eyes softening. “So do it,” she says. “Kiss me every day.”

  “I don’t want to ruin you,” I whisper. “Or ruin this.”

  She pulls me to her, our mouths close, our lips touching. “You won’t,” she breathes out before she kisses me, her hand sliding into my hair and holding me to her.

  I groan into her mouth, hoping she’s right, praying this can really be true, that I can be everything she needs and more. “Ruby,” I murmur.

  I feel her mouth curve into a smile. “Kiss me, Caleb,” she whispers again, her tongue teasing me as she deepens the kiss as though to encourage me.

  I pull my arms from beneath her, my hands smoothing down her sides as I pull my mouth from hers, grinning when she gives me a confused look. “I am going to kiss you,” I tell her, pressing one more kiss to her lips before I slowly kiss a path down her body.

  My lips brush over her neck, feeling the hard beat of her pulse beneath them, before traveling down to her collarbone, her heart and her breasts. As I take a nipple into my mouth, she arches beneath me, her body pushing up into mine. I suck hard before releasing it, continuing my path down to her stomach, her hip and her thighs.

  Nudging them apart, I press kisses up the inside of her legs as I settle myself between them. But it’s not until I put my mouth against her, against her heat and her wetness does she finally cry out.

  And I can’t fight the smile as I slowly start to kiss her right there.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Ruby

  As much as I tried to deny my growing attraction to Caleb, I knew it was there and what happened tonight was better than I could’ve ever expected. I already felt an intense connection to him, like we were meant to meet, meant to find each other, but I had no idea taking it a step further would make our connection even stronger.

  I feel it in everything in me, a low hum, my skin buzzing with the closeness of Caleb’s body and I realize now, he’s less tense. There’s a calmness to him as he lies here lazily twirling my hair around his finger with my hand resting over his heart, the steady beat tapping out a slow, relaxed rhythm.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask, not wanting to disrupt our quiet, but still knowing this was a huge step for him. I realize how much this could impact everything we’ve built together so far. We’ve now changed from friends to so much more. All of this could have a positive effect on his mental health and I know that. Just our relationship alone can be powerful enough to help him work through what he’s been dealing with. Knowing he has someone unconditionally supporting him and helping him through it.

  “Honestly, Ruby, had I known I would feel like this afterward, I would’ve done this weeks ago,” he responds, chuckling a little. “I feel like my old self, like all I needed was to get laid.”

  As soon as the words leave his mouth, my heart freezes up in my chest. I guess I never really looked at it as just a way for him to let off steam. I’ve done it too. This wouldn’t be my first one-night stand, but with Caleb it just felt like more than that.

  But as if he suddenly realizes the error of his words, the way they sound far harsher than expected, he rolls his body so he’s covering mine. The weight of him is resting on me now, his hands pinning my arms above my head as he leans down and kisses me hard.

  “You know that was a joke, right?” he whispers, his lips next to my ear now. “All I needed was you. All I need is you.”

  I open my mouth to speak, but he silences me with another kiss, taking the air from my lungs. He kisses me with everything I’m feeling, everything I’m thinking but can’t bring myself to say out loud. It means he’s all in and so am I.

  I want to be everything he needs and everything he wants. I want to heal him and take his pain and help him become the person he once was.

  “So, this is it then?” I ask, no hesitation in my voice. We were it long before we ever admitted it to each other or ourselves.

  All those nights spent together watching TV, sharing a bed, waiting up for him to get home from work, it wasn’t just to be nice, it was because we have something, something so strong it pulled us to each other.

  “Yep, this is it, Ruby. No getting rid of me now.” There’s a tone to his voice that pokes at the seriousness of what we’re doing here, but there’s also a playfulness that has been our staple.

  “So how do you want to handle this with Reid and Sienna? You know she’s not going to let us live this down,” I say, mock annoyance filtering through my tone. She has the best of intentions and just wants Caleb to feel like himself again. But I also know, she has longed for this since the day we met.

  Sienna and I are like sisters, like family and growing up without that, she’s clung to me ever since. The thought of being forever connected to her through Caleb makes my heart feel like it might burst inside my chest. I’m getting way too fucking ahead of myself though and I practically laugh out loud at how ridiculous I’m being.

  I’ve never been that kind of girl. I’ve always been able to flit between guys, never really caring if it led to anything more, but with Caleb I want more. I want it all.

  Caleb now laughs, my question dancing between us, the hilarity of how this all played out in Sienna’s favor.

  “How about we fuck with them for a little bit?” He squints at me, wondering my thoughts on the whole thing as he smirks in a way that is far too playful. I love his relationship with Sienna and the closeness they
have. It’s different than what I have with my sister; a deeper connection that people say only comes from being twins.

  “Okay, what are you thinking?” I ask back, already wrapped up in his plan and smirking right along with him.

  “We make them think they’ve caught us together,” he says, grinning from ear to ear. “We can be making out in the kitchen or whatever and they walk in.”

  “I love it. Let’s do it.” I throw my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, our bodies completely flush against each other.

  Caleb buries his face in the curve of my neck, laughing wickedly, his hot breath warming my skin as he says, “You’re evil, but I love it.”

  I don’t hear anything after ‘I love’, my mind instantly making more out of his words than what’s there. I’m not in love with Caleb and he’s not in love with me. What we’re experiencing now is lust and I know that, but like hell if I’m not wrapped up in it.

  I push it to the side, knowing if or when I do fall in love with Caleb it won’t be after having sex or kissing him, but it will be when something life-changing happens. It’ll be a moment when something that should normally push two people apart, brings them together. That will be our defining moment and maybe it will never happen, but until then, I hold out hope that we’ll get there together. That together we’ll weather the storm and each day as we grow closer, Caleb will find himself at peace.

  We sleep in the next day, not waking until well after noon, but that’s how it’s supposed to be when you turn twenty-two and get laid all in the same night. I snuggle into the warmth of Caleb’s body, my hands running up and down the length of his torso as we both come out of the deep sleep that took over.

  “What do you want to do today?” I ask, knowing we still have a day and a half before Sie and Reid get back from San Diego. I want to make the most of it before their prying eyes return and analyze everything that happened between Caleb and me while they were gone.

  Not that I think they’ll be judgmental or anything, but they will definitely ask questions and what was once our quiet little secret will now be out in the open. It’s nice the way it is now, no expectations, no one wondering where things will lead. It’s just the two of us and sometimes you just need that over everything else.

  “Oh, I have some ideas, my sweet Ruby,” Caleb says, seduction already lacing his words as his hands trail over my naked body. “I’ve been thinking about it since we fell asleep last night.”

  “You’re insatiable,” I whisper, letting my lips brush gently against his, eliciting a growl of possession as he reaches into the nightstand for another condom.

  We finally emerge from the bedroom several hours later, going out for a run and then a shower together. The day is floating by way too quickly and we both know our lives will be back to normal before we can blink.

  Caleb has to work on Monday and I have classes, and we’ll go back to seeing each other in the evenings and for runs during the week. We need to make the most of the time we have right now.

  “How about we go out to dinner? How about I take you out to dinner?” he says, clarifying his words. “Yesterday was all about me and tonight I’m going to repay you.”

  “You don’t need to repay me. I wanted to do that for you. It was your birthday and that’s how things are done when it is. No repaying,” I insist, but Caleb shakes his head, pulling me into his arms and biting at my ear.

  “Go change your clothes because we are going on a real date. One where I pay and you’re the girl on my arm.” I look down at what I’m wearing, a t-shirt and some panties, holding my arms out to ask why I need to change.

  “You can wear that if you want, but I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off you and this is a proper date,” Caleb teases. “I’m going to be a gentleman.”

  “You’re ridiculous, but fine.”

  I quickly slip on a pair of jeans and a tank, grabbing a jacket in case it gets cold. I swipe some makeup on my face and whip my hair into a messy bun. It’s not perfect, but I’m guessing wherever we’re going isn’t going to be fancy.

  “How do I look?” I ask, turning around in a small circle.

  “You look perfect, Ruby. You always look perfect, but the bigger question is, how do I look?” Now it’s him mocking me and turning in the same small circle.

  “You look like you always do.”

  “And how’s that?” he asks, playing back.

  “Like you were meant to find me,” I reply, testing the waters and hoping I didn’t push it too far.

  Caleb stops now, beckoning me over to where he’s standing with a tilt of his head and the murmured words of, “Come here.”

  I do, walking slowly to where he’s standing, his hand reaching out and cupping the back of my neck so he can pull me closer.

  “We were meant to find each other. You were meant for me,” he whispers, breathy and deep, and each word is said with so much promise, so much truth. With his forehead resting mine, he now asks, “So where do you want to go for dinner?”

  “Hmmm, let’s see. You’ve been here for a while and we haven’t even ventured out to my favorite restaurant.”

  “Well, then we’re doing that tonight.”

  We walk into the downtown area of Hawthorn, the streets bustling, but this time with families and couples, away from the craziness and chaos of the college strip of bars and restaurants.

  “This is it,” I announce, flinging an arm out as if to present the restaurant to him. It’s nothing spectacular, a small restaurant and bar tucked back in an alleyway, but it has the most amazing outdoor seating and even better food.”

  “This is exactly what I hoped for,” he says, his eyes sparkling a little as he takes in the quaintness of it all. Despite working in a bar, I know he still struggles in large crowds or restaurants that aren’t open enough for him.

  But just as we’re about to open the door and head in, a couple walks out, causing all of us to stop for a split second. Our eyes connect, and I’m stunned into silence, my hand tightening around Caleb’s.

  “Ruby,” he says, my name holding more inflection than it should. He could’ve just walked by, ignored us, but no. “How are you?” His question and the way he asks it makes it seem like we’re old friends, like he didn’t just see me two days ago. But more than that it makes it seem like I wasn’t dealing with his overly friendly ass and having to fake a relationship to get him to back the fuck off.

  The woman behind him steps forward and waits, an introduction should be taking place, but all that’s left is awkward silence when I don’t answer his question either.

  “Lydia, this is one of my students, Ruby Collins,” Professor Keller says, turning to the woman I assume is his wife. She’s much too old to be a student, but she’s still very pretty in a classic way; tall and leggy with perfectly curled hair and flawless makeup.

  “And Ruby this is my wife, Lydia Keller,” he continues, the awkwardness bubbling just below the surface. Lydia smiles a tight smile, her face flat, her features giving nothing away, but her body language says, I’m not the first girl she’s had to size up in the last week.

  I don’t bother dwelling on it, not letting it have any more time than it needs, I squeeze Caleb’s hand again, his eyes steely and his lips pursed. This isn’t the way he wanted his evening with me to begin and so without letting ourselves linger any longer, I say goodbye and walk into the restaurant.

  It all happened so quickly, but not quick enough and I notice the change in Caleb instantly. He looks back again, Professor Keller and his wife still just outside the door, an argument ensuing and Caleb takes it in.

  “Let it go,” I murmur, pushing up on my toes so my mouth is next to his ear, my hand resting on his cheek.

  He nods his head, but I know that it’s far more difficult for him to just walk away from something that causes his senses to go into overload. Seeing Professor Keller will not ruin our night, so I distract Caleb, pulling him toward the bar and ordering us each a shot of tequila and a dr
ink from the specials menu.

  The bartender sets down the shots, a salt shaker and a few limes and I smirk at Caleb. “You ready?” Without waiting for an answer, I run my tongue along the inside of my wrist and sprinkle on the salt, but before I can lick it off, Caleb grabs my wrist. His warm tongue slides along the row of salt, making my pulse ratchet up a few notches and he then takes his shot, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “Your turn,” he says, leaning over to kiss me, tequila still lingering on his lips. His eyes are wide, his pupils dark and I love the shift I now see in him.

  The night is back to being ours.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Caleb

  I wake early on Monday morning, not because of any nightmares, but because I can’t get enough of Ruby, who lies naked in my arms.

  I feel like she’s somehow breathed air into me, giving me life, and now that she has, I can’t stop wanting her. Can’t hold back either.

  Having just spent an amazing weekend with her, today is kind of a jolt back to reality given she has class, I have work and Sienna and Reid are back, but it doesn’t stop me from trying to hold onto this thing we’ve created for as long as possible.

  I roll onto my side, watching her as she sleeps beside me, her head tucked into my neck, her arm draped across my hips and her legs tangled with mine. Her skin is warm beneath my fingers, which trail lightly over the curves of her body and I watch as a sleepy smile tugs at her lips.

  “You watching me sleep, creeper?” she asks, her voice husky.

  I chuckle. “Maybe.” I lean down and press my mouth to hers, pulling her closer. “Or maybe I’m just thinking about what I’m going to do to you this morning,” I tease, pushing my obviously hard dick against her.

  Ruby lets out a combination groan and giggle that’s both adorable and a total turn on as she rolls onto her back, pulling me with her so I’m lying on top of her. “Oh yeah,” she whispers between kisses. “And what did you come up with?”