A Different Shade of Violet?

by K E Osborn

  “So that would put us at the cabin when our baby was made, Hudson,” I say and he smiles and then frowns.

  “What about everything Vee has been through? Will the baby be okay?” he asks suddenly looking terrified.

  “I’ll run some bloodwork and some more tests, but I’m pretty sure bubs is doing fine. Mum still has low blood pressure so we need to keep you in for observation, just for a couple of hours, to make sure you’re doing okay and then, once you’re stats are back to normal we’ll let you go and make some appointments for future scans for the baby.”

  “I was on the pill at the cabin. How could I have gotten pregnant?” I ask.

  “From what I’ve heard and read in your file you were under extreme stress and that can sometimes render the pill ineffective, I would say that’s what happened in your case.”

  I nod and exhale. “If I was pregnant, why didn’t they find out when I was in the hospital after the kidnapping?”

  The doctor nod and smiles. “Because you were only pregnant by a matter of a couple of days and it was too early for them to pick it up when they would have run their tests. Then once they saw you weren’t pregnant there was no need to run that test again.”

  “Yeah, I must have only been pregnant for one, maybe two days, by the time I got to the hospital so I guess that makes sense,” I say and the doctor nods and produces a picture of our baby for us to take home.

  “Okay, so last looks before I turn off the machine,” the doctor says and I turn back to the monitor and just stare at the small blob on the screen. The doctor moves the instrument on my stomach and our baby comes into full view and now I can clearly see the outline of a head and a body. My hand rushes to my mouth and Hudson stiffens his hand in mine.

  “What? Are you okay?” he asks rushing his free hand to my face to caress my cheek as the doctor smiles at me.

  “Look Hudson, right there! That’s the head, can you see it?” I ask pointing to the monitor.

  I watch Hudson as he studies the screen. He’s focusing hard and the doctor puts some markers outlining the head on the screen for Hudson. He gasps and I watch as his eyes fill with tears.

  “Jesus fucking Christ,” he says under his breath while he shakes his head. “I can’t believe it, I can actually see it,” he says and I hold his hand tighter. “It’s amazing, Vee. Look what we made,” he says as a tear runs down his face. He clears his throat and sniffs.

  I smile brightly at him while he sits in awe of our child. And watching him right now and seeing nothing but undeniable happiness on his face, is what lets me know that everything is going to be all right. I know that Hudson would do anything for me, and now his child as well, and knowing that, makes me the happiest woman on earth.

  He stares at the screen while the doctor and I watch him smiling at his reaction. It simply makes my heart flutter, and I know with every ounce of me that Hudson is going to be a perfect father, and husband.

  Everything is going to be great!

  We arrive back home after having all the tests I needed and after being observed for a while. My blood pressure went back up and unfortunately we had to have dinner at the hospital. So much for having a happy dinner at home with his family on Hudson’s first day out of hospital for three months.

  We walk through the door and the place is still the same. Fran and Brige are on the sofa watching television while the brothers are out the back doing something I have no idea what. Bill came to pick us up from the hospital after I explained to Angel and Thor what was going on. Angel was ridiculously excited for us, not only did Hudson propose, but we’re having a baby and that news is always good to hear. We make our way to the sofa and sit down cuddling into each other. Hudson hasn’t left my side since we left the hospital. The doctor said I’m a little exhausted from lack of good sleep and I need vitamins to help with my energy levels, and the sudden realisation of pregnancy means I need to take stuff for the baby too. But I don’t mind. I just want our baby to be healthy.

  The thought of being a mum again after six years of not being one scares the hell out of me, to be honest. I have so many questions, but I don’t know how to ask them or who to ask. My head is running crazy and I can’t seem to stop my thoughts of Caiden and how much I miss him. I’m so scared that something will happen and I’ll lose everything. It can happen, my past is proof of that. I guess I need reassurance, but what good does that do? No one can predict the future, and for me the future is a scary, uncertain place full of anguish and worry about my baby and my husband to be. I’m sure the baby’s fifth birthday will be a nightmare for me. But I’m hopeful and I guess as the saying goes, ‘lightning never strikes in the same place twice.’ Well, I just hope like fuck that the saying is true because if I lost Hudson and/or this baby, I would never… ever come back from that.

  “Do you want us to stay over, Huds? Seeing as you’re both under the weather?” Fran asks and I look at Hudson trying subtly to tell him no with my eyes.

  “Thanks Mum, but this is only a three-bedroomed house and there’s five of you. Plus, I’m sure Lucy wants Holden back, and I’m sure Brige doesn’t want to sleep in with you guys, right Brige?” Hudson asks and she screws her face up.

  “No way! Mum, let’s go home. I wanna sleep in my own bed.”

  “Are you sure? Hudson you’re still recovering and Vee is fainting all over the place for whatever reason—”

  “We just need some sleep, Mum… some decent sleep. You only live down the road so if we need you we’ll call, but thanks for the offer of staying that was really nice of you,” Hudson says being very diplomatic.

  “Really? Are you sure?”

  “C’mon Fran, these kids just want to go to bed and rest, don’t hold them up. We’ll just keep our phones on loud and by our beds, so if they need us they can call. Right guys?” Bill suggests and we nod.

  “Thanks for everything, Mum,” Hudson says as we stand and walk over to Bill, who’s waiting for Fran to get up off the sofa. Brige gets up getting the hint, but Fran stays where she is.

  “Oh, you want us to leave now? But you only just got home. We haven’t spent any time with you,” she says and I feel sorry for her and almost tell Hudson to let them stay. But my need to be alone with him, is winning the battle over my conscience.

  “Sorry Mum, we’re both really tired,” Hudson says wrapping his arm around my waist.

  “Right, okay, well make sure you call if you need me and I’ll come around tomorrow and help out—”

  “Fran, come over on the weekend, let them have two days together before you take over. I know you mean well, honey, but these two just need some time together. They haven’t been alone in three months. Let them spend some time—”

  “But what if you need me?”

  “Then we’ll call, I promise,” I reply and she exhales as Brige rolls her eyes at her mother. She exhales and stands up walking over to Hudson and kisses his cheek.

  “Make sure you eat three meals a day and have plenty of rest. Try not to over-exert yourself, okay?” she says looking at Hudson with a worried look in her eyes.

  “I won’t Mum. Plus, Vee is here to keep me in line. I think we’ll just be sleeping for the next forty-eight hours anyway,” Hudson says and she looks at me and purses her lips.

  “Look after him,” she mouths while she looks at me sternly.

  I smile and nod as she hugs him tightly while Bill walks outside to collect the brothers.

  “Mum can we go now?” Brige asks and I smirk at her.

  “Brige, we’re leaving in a minute, don’t be so rude,” Fran replies and Brige folds her arms over her chest and huffs loudly. I inwardly chuckle and Hudson opens his arms toward Brige. She smiles and runs at him full pelt and slams into him embracing him tightly. He takes a step back and I reach out holding his arm to steady him.

  “Brigitte, take it easy,” Fran yells.

  “Jeez Brige, you trying to tackle me to the ground or something?” Hudson asks as he holds onto his little sister tightl
y.

  “No, I just missed being able to hug you properly.”

  “I missed hugging you too little sis,” he says kissing the top of her head. “Just go easier on me next time, yeah? I’m still recovering from being a massive hero and getting shot and all that,” he says and I burst out laughing.

  “You were always a hero in my eyes, Huddy Bear. You didn’t have to go and get all shot up to prove it you know?” she says and he smiles and looks up at me.

  “I know, but I needed it to help me realise something I’d lost sight of.”

  Brige furrows her brows. “And you can see everything clearly now?”

  Hudson nods and wraps his arm around me while Brige holds onto him around his waist.

  “I’m seeing the clearest I have in all my life,” he says and leans in kissing me softly on the lips.

  “Eww gross,” Brige says quickly letting go of Hudson and backing away. “Please don’t spread your germs to each other while I’m so close by,” she jokes with a smirk.

  “Right, that’s enough. Brige, stop teasing your brother,” Fran says while she starts to walk toward the front door.

  “Sorry Mum,” Brige says monotone and then turns back toward Hudson without her mother seeing and sticks her tongue out at Hudson. We both chuckle as Hudson makes a funny face back at her. I love the interaction Hudson has with his little sister. It makes me positive that this baby is right for us. Hudson deserves to be a father and I’m so happy that this has happened the way it did because if it didn’t happen by accident, it probably never would’ve happened at all.

  Holden and Flynn come racing inside with Bill following them like they’ve been up to no good.

  “What have you been doing out there?” Hudson asks.

  “Oh, nothing,” Holden says with a dirty big smirk, which is definitely showing that he’s guilty and up to something.

  “Let’s get out of here and let these kids rest. I’m old and I need rest too,” Bill says and for a man of nearly sixty he does quite well for himself. We all walk out the front to their van.

  “Bye Huddy Bear,” Brige says smirking at him. “Bye Violet, take care of Huddy for me.”

  “Sure thing, Brige.”

  “Have a good night mate. There’s some help in the backyard if you can’t rise to the occasion,” Holden says slapping Hudson on the back as he gets into the van.

  I raise an eyebrow at Hudson and he shrugs while Flynn steps in after Holden with a great big smirk on his face.

  “Night guys, and Hudson… I’d check out your backyard before Midas gets too carried away,” Bill says and smiles as he hugs his son and kisses my cheek.

  “Great, thanks Dad,” he says and he walks around to the driver’s side and gets in.

  Fran walks up to us and takes us both in her arms for a group hug.

  “Look after each other, okay? And—”

  “We’ll call if we need you,” Hudson interrupts.

  “I love you Hudson, rest up.”

  “Night Mum, love you too.”

  “Bye guys thanks for coming today and helping with everything,” Hudson calls out.

  They all wave as they get in and Bill starts the van and reverses it out onto the street. Hudson holds me to his side tightly as we wave and watch them drive down the road. Hudson exhales and kisses the top of my head.

  “Alone at last,” he says and starts to walk us back inside.

  I hear a loud rumble coming down our street and Hudson and I both turn around at the same time to see a large group of men riding motorbikes toward us.

  “Fuck,” Hudson says under his breath as I cuddle into him and hold him so tightly for comfort. He wraps his arms around me protectively as they approach us at a rapid rate. My heart is pounding ferociously in my chest and I don’t really have any time to think.

  “Hudson,” I whisper and he holds me tightly. My body starts to shake as Hudson starts to walk us backward toward the house and one of the biker’s hands is in the pocket of his jacket. I watch in slow motion as he pulls his hand from his pocket. I close my eyes waiting for him to draw the gun at us. I cuddle into Hudson for the last time as I hear the bikes start to ride past. I open one eye and see the man pull his hand up and wave. I stand there shocked as another few do the same thing as they casually ride away from us. They all wave and smile, seeming quite happy and not the least bit threatening. Now that I look at them they all seem like Grey Nomads and they’re not even wearing a gang vest. I think they’re just a group of friends going for a ride.

  “Holy shit,” I whisper as I find some strength to talk.

  Hudson kisses my head. “Thank fuck for that,” he says as the last of the group rides past with no threat of violence.

  “Okay well, I just literally shit my pants,” I say and Hudson turns us toward the front door.

  “I think I did too, and there wasn’t enough time for us to get inside before they rode past. If that was the Dogs or another gang, we’d be dead right now,” Hudson says and I nod as he turns toward me and kisses me quickly.

  “Thank God they were just normal people, and nice enough to wave at us too,” I say and he smiles.

  “Let’s go inside before we have any more scares tonight,” he says.

  “Yeah, that was the last thing we needed, but anyway the back yard might scare us even more,” I say and he laughs as we walk toward the front door.

  “Guess we better see what they’ve done then,” Hudson asks and I laugh.

  “Yeah, I guess so. Then we’re having a shower and going to bed to relax. I don’t think my heart can take anymore tonight,” I say and he nods in agreement as we walk inside the house shutting the front door and then through to the backyard. Hudson slides open the door and there are cutouts of penis’s everywhere. I laugh as Hudson shakes his head.

  “Uh-huh, my brothers… yep, so mature,” he says walking outside to see rows and rows of cut out penises lining the fence, the shed and even one on the roof of Midas’ dog house. I shake my head as they have an arrow made from penises pointing toward the back table.

  “Guess we better see what they’re pointing to.”

  “This is crazy,” he says and I nod my head as we follow the pointing penises. We get to the back table to see a little white and blue prescription box.

  “Oh, fuck off,” Hudson says with a laugh. I look at him sideways questioningly. “It’s a box of Viagra,” he says and I laugh out loud.

  “There’s a note,” he says pulling the note from the underside of the box.

  He opens it so we can both read it.

  Three months without any sex will give you blue balls, so we have gotten you some blue pills to help you rise to the occasion after such a long abstinence.

  Love your thoughtful brothers.

  P.S. You’re welcome Violet :)

  I burst out laughing while Hudson shakes his head.

  “Fucking idiots, rub it in why don’t you?” Hudson says and I stop laughing and take the packet from him putting it back down on the table.

  “Baby you don’t need Viagra. I know you can function perfectly normally. But for tonight and for the next few days while you recuperate, there won’t be anything other than naked cuddles. I don’t want to wear you out or hinder your recovery.”

  He goes to say something, but I put my finger to his lips to stop him. “No arguments, listen to me. If you want to marry me, you’d better get used to being nagged. That’s what wives do, right? It’s our God-given role.”

  “You can nag me all you want, as long as you’re my wife. I’ll be happy with whatever you want to do to annoy me,” he says turning to face me and wrapping his arms around my waist pulling our bodies together.

  “But one thing for sure, I can’t wait to be inside you again,” he says and a shot of electricity flares through me igniting a fire, which I quickly have to extinguish before I go back on my word of abstinence for the next few days.

  “I can’t wait for that either baby, but in the meantime, let’s have a show
er and go to bed,” I say. He nods and takes my hand about to walk off. I quickly lean down and pick up the packet of Viagra. Hudson looks back at me raising an eyebrow.

  “Don’t want Midas to get a hold of these,” I say and he smirks and nods and we walk back inside.

  After a long hot shower together we are now naked and in bed. After three months of sleeping separately, we can finally hold each other. Hudson’s on his back and I’m cuddled into his side and even though we both know nothing sexual will happen tonight, it’s so nice to feel his hot skin against mine. It’s the feeling I’ve been craving for months.

  I trace his tattoo on his chest as he fiddles with my hair.

  “I love lying with you, and especially after nearly losing you. Having you in my arms finally is the best feeling in the world,” Hudson says and I half-smile.

  “Mm-hmm,” I murmur and he stops stroking my hair and looks down at me.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks and I look up at him and fake a smile.

  “Nothing, I’m just tired,” I say and lean up kissing his lips.

  He kisses back but as soon as our lips part he looks at me with drawn brows and pursed lips.

  “Vee, our relationship is based on honesty now, remember?” he asks and I exhale and look away from him. “Talk to me,” he begs as he holds me tighter against him.

  I exhale and hold on to him tightly. “I’m so scared, Hudson.”

  “Of what baby?” he asks then kisses my head.

  “Of falling in love with our child, just to have it ripped from me,” I say deciding to be completely honest.

  “That won’t happen—”

  “You don’t know that. I never thought it would happen and it did. I can’t lose either of you,” I admit and my hand slides down to rest over my stomach.

  “You’re right, I don’t know. I can’t tell the future. But what I do know is you can’t avoid loving this baby, Vee, just because you’re scared,” he says caressing my hair again.

  “In my heart I know that. I know I can’t live with the ‘what if’s?’ It will swallow me up,” I admit.