Blackness Awaits

by Karlsson, Norma Jeanne

  “Well, when the baby-faced doctor, who is yummy by the way,” Karl raises his brows suggestively at Kid.

  “I get all the luck with young good looking doctors and pilots,” Kid purrs. Kellerman growls and squeezes her hand that he’s not letting go of in the near future.

  “Kiddo,” he warns in a threatening tone.

  “What? Karl said he was hot too.” Kid pouts. She’s trying to lighten the mood of this room but it’s not working. We’re all worried and tense.

  “No,” Kellerman says harshly.

  “Here we go again with the caveman IQ and the toddler vocabulary.” Kid rolls her eyes and looks back at Karl. He’s just as worried about her as the rest of us but they communicate in snark so he’ll give her the levity she needs right now.

  “Anyway, the hot doc started freakin’ the room out talkin’ about whatever he thought was wrong with you and then assumed we knew you were pregnant. Nice job by the way hussy. Dylan ended my lie then so that we could get some straight answers because the doc was askin’ Aaron about your medical treatment and me about your lady bits.”

  “You love talkin’ about my lady bits,” Kid snarks (told you).

  “Your lady bits are the things my dreams are made of…oh wait no. They’re the things my nightmares are made of.” And the snark fest begins.

  “I informed the hot doc that you and Dylan had an affair and I didn’t find out until Johnny was born.” Karl finishes with a shrug. Kid pauses for a moment and then bursts into a full belly laugh bringing the room to life and Johnny to a wakeful state.

  Kid reaches out to Butch for the baby. Butch presses a kiss to his head before handing him off. With all our parents living in Chicago Butch has become the resident grandparent. If you would have told me last year that Butch Rossi would be the surrogate grandparent to Kid’s baby I would have throat punched you and laughed about it. Kid’s life has never been predictable but the last year has been a new level of bizarre.

  Boob in the mouth and Johnny’s settled. Time to talk.

  “We need to talk about stuff, Kid,” I say quietly watching Kellerman. He hasn’t said much but I can hear the wheels grinding in his head. I can see he wants to scoop up his family and run. I don’t blame him and at this point I’d drive them to the damn airport.

  If we find out Kid has whatever illness they are concerned with we can get her out of the subpoena. I don’t want her to be sick but I’d take sick and safe over not sick and in Chicago.

  “Let’s talk tomorrow boys. It’s late and I’m tired. I don’t think Mancini’s gonna come and get me in the hospital. That would be profoundly stupid. You guys go home and get some rest. Maybe you can talk and work through some ideas because my brain is zapped right now.” Kid closes her eyes but continues to talk. “Thank you guys for takin’ care of me. Can I talk to Kel for a few minutes?”

  “Sure Kid,” Cal answers for the room. There are collective murmurs of agreement even though none of us want to leave her right now. We’ll just go to the waiting room. I’m in the back corner of the room nearest to Kid across the bed from Kellerman. Everyone leans over me to kiss her before they leave and I wait patiently (not really) for my turn. I go to stand up but Kid’s hand darts out grabbing my wrist firmly.

  “I know you’re scared shitless right now and you feel out of control. I see your hands shaking. Nothing is gonna happen to me. Nothing.” Kid’s gaze is penetrating my soul as she speaks. I believe her. Fuck if I should but I do. I give her a chin lift and a long kiss on the forehead before walking away.

  “Kav,” Kellerman calls before I open the door. “Thanks for deferring to me earlier.”

  He’s talking about when the baby-faced doctor asked about her scan or whatever. I was never going to make any medical decisions without consulting him. I’ve had Kid for almost fourteen years but she’s Kellerman’s now. I haven’t lost her to him. I’ve given her to him. And in giving Kid to Kellerman I get to keep every piece of her I’ve had since the day I met her because Kellerman hasn’t taken a thing away from me. He’s given me more of her. There’s a light to her now that never existed all those years she was with me and that light stems from him. So no, I haven’t lost Kid. I’ve gained Kellerman.

  I offer him a chin lift and leave the room. It’s time to keep my sister safe.

  Kellerman

  “Hey,” Kid whispers as Kav shuts the door behind him.

  “Hi,” I say through a small smile.

  “So, your swimmers do good work Dylan Kellerman,” she jokes quietly.

  “I aim to exceed expectations, Miss Kelly,” I joke in return. “How are you feelin’?”

  “Tired. I don’t feel sick anymore, at least not right now.”

  “That’s good, Kiddo. Twins?” I ask because I’m still shocked. We haven’t been as careful as we should have been. I refuse to wear condoms (I’ve never used one with her and I wasn’t about to start after being kept away from her for months) and Kid had to quit taking the pill to bring her milk in. I understand where babies come from yet I’m still shocked right now.

  “Irish triplets,” Kid whispers. I hate that I know what Kid is referring to because Cassie explained it to me.

  Kid picks Johnny up and hands him to me. It’s way past his bedtime and dude is out cold. I lay him in his stroller and then sit on the edge of Kid’s bed. She looks better, not green and pale.

  “Scared the shit outta me, Kiddo,” I say gazing into her green pools.

  “Sorry,” she says meekly. “I had no clue I was pregnant. I’ve been tired, but I’m takin’ care of Johnny all the time so I figured it was that. I’ve been queasy some days, never sick though. I just brushed it off.”

  “You never told me you didn’t feel well. Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I didn’t really think anything of it. It would come and then go. I’d go back to doing whatever I was doing. It really didn’t seem unusual. I figured it was hormones from nursing or eating too late or eating too little. I really wasn’t worried about it.” Kid shrugs and runs her hand over her flat stomach.

  “I’m pregnant,” she says in a whisper. “I never wanted to be pregnant.”

  Shit. That’s not what I want to hear right now. I should have worn condoms. I should have stayed off her when she said she might be ovulating. I shouldn’t have flipped and fucked her in the bathroom on the plane. I’m a selfish bastard and now she has to carry two of my babies that never wanted.

  “I’m sorry, Kiddo,” I apologize placing my hand on top of hers on her stomach. She looks at me with her arresting gaze.

  “Cassie got this with you and with Johnny. She threw it away without care or consideration for either of you. I was jealous of her. She got a part of you that I’ll never have. She got the first ultrasounds. The first kicks. The first sound of a heartbeat you two created. From that jealousy came desire. I wanted to be that. I wanted to carry your babies. I wanted to pick out baby names and make you rub my feet at night. I wanted to swell with life that you and I created. Now I get it. Now I get all the things in life I never thought I’d get,” she says in maybe the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard spill from her lips.

  “Cassie didn’t get shit. I never felt Johnny kick. When I went to appointments with her I stared at the monitor and never looked at Cassie because I was imagining you there. You were Johnny’s mother whether or not he was in your womb. Everything we experience will be a first for me, Kiddo. Cassie took nothing from you,” I reply softly. I pull Kid’s hand from her belly and raise her shirt just a sliver. Leaning down I press my lips to her soft skin just above her bellybutton. Kid’s breath hitches as she places her hand on my hair. The touch makes me want to devour her this instant. The feel of her skin against my lips mixed with her shallow breathing is the biggest turn on, but I’m not a heartless bastard. I also won’t risk the “hot doctor” walking in on me burying myself in Kid.

  “Kel,” she purrs.

  “Don’t,” I command and sit back up pulling her shirt over h
er exposed skin. “I’m barely controlling myself.”

  “You mean you don’t wanna fuck a pregnant, nursing, vomit covered lady?” she snarks.

  “You’re a pain in the ass,” I huff.

  “Pain in the dick is what Sully says.”

  “He’s fuckin’ right,” I snort.

  “I’m gonna get huge with twins. I’ll be the size of a house! You won’t be able to fuck me,” Kid say through a laugh.

  “I’m sure I can get creative,” I purr and wiggle my eyebrows at her.

  Before we can get completely out of hand the door opens.

  “We’ve got a bed for you upstairs now, Shannon. They’ll keep you overnight for monitoring and then the specialist will meet with you in the morning. I’m less concerned with HG at this point. You haven’t shown any signs of illness since waking up so that’s very encouraging. They’ll see how you tolerate small amounts of water overnight and then move on from there. It was nice meeting you and congratulations,” Dr. Jenkins says professionally.

  “Thank you for everything Doctor Jenkins. I know my family can be a bit much to handle so thank you for letting them stay with me. It was nice meeting you,” Kid fucking purrs at him in her sexy as hell voice. The doctor has now turned a cartoon shade of red, so much for being professional. Kid is incorrigible! It’s like she can’t not be irresistible. I growl and she rolls her eyes as the doctor leaves.

  “Will your IQ get even lower now that I’m pregnant, caveman?” she asks sweeping her fingers through my hair.

  “Yes,” I grunt in my best caveman voice.

  “I love you, Kel,” she says quietly through a giant smile that brings her eyes to their sparkling best.

  “Love you too, Kiddo,” I reply knowing no truer words have ever been spoken. I’m not this man. I’m not the man that finds the girl and ceases to be all things he believed he was…yes I am. I am this man. I’m the man that my father raised me to be. I’m the man that I always hoped I could be to make my father proud. I’m the man that got lucky in this world and made Shannon Kelly mine.

  Shannon

  I was moved up to the maternity unit for observation late last night. I was able to keep small amounts of water down throughout the night and have now been upgraded to juice. The juice is harder to keep down but I’m managing. The specialist just left and she agrees with hottie ER doctor that I’m not suffering from HG. Thank all that’s holy! I read about it and that sounds like nasty business. I feel awful for any woman that has to endure that. Yuck!

  Kel and Johnny stayed here in the room with me last night. Luckily I’m in a maternity unit so Kel has a father bed and they brought in a crib for Johnny to sleep in. I convinced my boys, Butch, and Karl to go home once I was settled in. That was not an easy argument to win, but I finally won. Nicky and Thomas were non-negotiable so I relented early in allowing them to stay in the hospital. They stayed out in the waiting room and are surely wrecked today.

  “Shannon, you’re lookin’ better,” Thomas calls from the door.

  “The shower and some juice helped. I’m sorry I puked on you,” I apologize sincerely.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t get you to the toilet faster,” he says gruffly. Only he would blame himself for my vomit pyrotechnics.

  “I’ve never seen puke spray like that,” Nicky says in a laugh next to Thomas as they come in the room.

  “I didn’t think she had any left in her,” Kel chimes in finishing changing Johnny’s diaper.

  “I didn’t think I did either,” I snort. “Never been that sick in my life.”

  “Well you look better,” Nicky compliments leaning in for a quick kiss on my cheek.

  “You wanna hang out with me a while so Kel and Thomas can take Johnny on a little walk?” I ask Nicky.

  “Kiddo,” Kel warns.

  “Kel, he can’t be stuck in this damn room all day. I’ll be out of here tonight or tomorrow once I can eat something. Johnny needs some fresh air. Take him out with you and Thomas. Nicky will watch me and never leave my side,” I instruct coolly. I’m not looking forward to my caveman during this pregnancy. He’s a damn nightmare already and we’re only hours in. He stood next to the shower while I washed myself because he was afraid I would fall. I was sitting on the shower bench when he told me this. He’s going to drive me insane.

  “You got this?” Kel asks Nicky.

  “Without question,” Nicky answers confidently. He’s not going to let anything happen to me. They stare at each other for a few moments until Kel offers him a chin lift and loads the baby into the stroller.

  “I love you. I’ll be back soon. You want anything?” Kel murmurs into my hair.

  “I’m good.” I smile tipping my head back to meet his gaze.

  Slowly Kel meets his fat pillowy lips with mine. I open my freshly cleaned mouth to his and savor the taste of him mixed with spearmint. A small hum purrs from my throat as he works his tongue passionately across mine. I fist his T-shirt pulling him to me as a smile stretches across his lips.

  “I think that’s enough for now, Kiddo,” Kel whispers into my lips placing a chaste kiss at the corner of my mouth.

  Pregnancy hormones are pretty awesome. Well they’d be awesome if there wasn’t an audience now and we weren’t in a hospital. I’m going to make Kel sore from head to toe when we get out of here.

  “Have a nice walk,” I say in a chipper tone as Kel stands up.

  “Bye, Kiddo,” he says shaking his head at me. I truly am a pain in the dick.

  Nicky pulls a chair to my bedside as Kel and Thomas leave pushing Johnny in his stroller. That might be the cutest sight in the world, two giant alpha males pushing a baby around.

  “All right Nicky let’s talk shop while we’re alone. If we try to go through this with any of my boys around it’s gonna turn into a caveman convention,” I snark.

  “I can’t promise I’m any better than your family, Shanny,” Nicky responds honestly.

  “I know but you can at least put on a tactical hat on top of your Neanderthal skull.”

  “I’ll do my best,” he snorts his fake brown eyes show concern but his sculpted body is confident. In a pale yellow polo and tan cargo shorts you’d never know he was Jason Bourne. He’s good at hiding in plain sight.

  “From what I can figure Mancini is comin’ for me for Governor Grady. They don’t give a shit if I killed that guy…they want me for the trial. I’m not sure what they think I can offer, but they obviously think I can do good things for him.” Nicky nods at my assertion.

  “It’s the only thing that makes sense. If they wanted you dead…” I nod at Nicky’s pause understanding if they wanted me dead they would have sent someone to kill me months ago. They need me alive.

  “The thing that’s tricky here is how will they come at you? They can’t kidnap you again so they need to be able to manipulate you instead. Comin’ after one of the guys, your family, Kellerman, or Johnny seems the logical play to me. That’s a lot of people to keep safe. I worry less about the guys. They’re all quite proficient at protecting themselves. Your family in Chicago can be protected by the O’Sullivans. That leaves you and Johnny as the weak links,” Nicky finishes quietly.

  “If I wasn’t pregnant I’d take off and hide me and the baby until the trial. I’m worried about the twins and my health now though. I can’t be in some cabin in the woods with Johnny and my armory. It’s too dangerous. If I wasn’t so sick I’d take the risk.”

  “I could hide you and the baby, Shanny. But you’re right it wouldn’t be near the medical facilities you may need. I don’t wanna exchange one risk for another.”

  “I know. I can’t go to Chicago and try to meet with Mancini now either. It was a risky proposition to begin with but sick and pregnant makes it a death wish.”

  “You’ll wait it out here. I have three guys comin’ in tomorrow morning and I’ll head up to Chicago to try and get you out of the subpoena. With the connections your family has and strings I can try to pull we might be able to get
you out of it. I don’t want you steppin’ foot in Chicago when it’s due to their manipulation.”

  “I’m worried about you bein’ in Chicago, Nicky. You’re supposed to be dead. What if Mancini’s people see you?” I’m really worried about that. He’s been in Virginia or elsewhere on the east coast since I left Chicago. I don’t want his life at risk to save mine.

  “I’ll be fine, Shanny. I know Chicago well enough to avoid anyone that may notice me. I don’t look like Scarso anymore so I’m not worried about bein’ noticed in the streets. Don’t worry about me. Worry about you and all your babies. Twins, Shanny. I can’t believe it,” Nicky says through a bright smile.

  “I’m so happy, Nicky. It’s nothing I ever thought I’d want. I never wanted kids when I was a little girl.”

  “I remember. You told me after you finished your baseball career you were gonna be the president. I asked who would take care of your babies while you were playin’ baseball and you told me you wouldn’t have any babies like that was the stupidest question anyone had ever asked you.”

  “I guess growin’ up with a mother that hated me made me not want to be one. When I started workin’ in family law that changed. I wanted to adopt in a few years. I still didn’t want to get married or have babies though. The men I’ve loved in my life have been taken from me…I couldn’t imagine willingly subjecting myself to that. If I never loved a man and spent my life with my boys and an adopted child or two I would have been truly content in this life. But after I met Kel things started to change. I could see spending my life with him, loving him the way I swore I never would. Then Johnny came and my perspective changed completely. Avoiding the possibility of heartbreak by closing myself off to another level of joy was unjustifiably punishing me. I’m happy now in a way I didn’t think I could be. These twins are just the icing on the cake,” I finish with a pleased tone and swipe of my hand over my soon to be giant belly. I’m hoping I get so big none of the guys can pick me up. They’ll be stuck listening to me with no recourse.