Love: A Messy Business

by Abbie Walton

  Kate sat on the bed with a bump and started to unzip her boots. Why was it that boots looked so much sexier when the zip was down the back of the boots instead at one side? Perhaps because it made one think of the back of a dress which could be unzipped frantically by an eager and amorous suitor who just could not wait to get his hands on soft, bare flesh. The boots were tight around the top of the calf at first but Kate knew from experience that they would soon loosen once they warmed up. One of the best things about these boots was that they made her legs look long and slim, like a corset really. Kate had never been a big fan of her legs, partly because they were usually milk bottle white.

  Realizing that she still had her rollers in, Kate jumped up and nearly stumbled right over because she had not gotten used to the heels yet. It was like she was drunk already. The rollers came out in a few seconds and Kate did her best to fluff her hair into something resembling a style. Actually, that didn’t look too bad, she thought to herself. Her hair was actually co-operating for once. People always told her she had a beautiful head of hair, and it really was – thick and lustrous, and lots of it. But when it was in the wrong mood, it was almost impossible to tame.

  Kate heard the purr of a car engine approaching the house. She looked out of the window and saw it was Colin, bang on time. There were only a few seconds to address the tiny little details that make any women’s appearance truly complete. Bracelet? Yes. Necklace? Yes. Earrings? Of course? Nails? No time for that, they would have to do. She grabbed her handbag off the bed and tottered downstairs trying to go as fast as she could without sustaining a permanently life-altering injury. Her parents’ house was a hundred year-old terrace and so the stairs were steep, narrow and uneven – a threefold recipe for disaster for anyone in high heels. Thankfully unscathed, she made it to the door before either of her parents had bothered to get up to answer the door. For some reason, she didn’t want to introduce Colin to them at this stage. This was a first date after all; now didn’t seem the right time to do it. What if the first date was a complete disaster? Better to wait to see if a relationship developed and then do the introductions later.

  Kate opened the door with as large and as welcoming a smile as she could muster, to find Colin there looking reasonably smartly-dressed but really not that much different from his usual standards. He did look very, very nervous though, which Kate found to be very sweet and encouraging at the same time. She was also nervous but to sense that he was as well made her less nervous somehow, rather than intensifying the emotion.

  “All ready?” said Colin.

  “Ready for anything!” said Kate brightly, eager to get things off to a positive start. This was not another one of those lies that she had fed to Fred Yates earlier in the day. But just because something is not a lie, doesn’t mean that it is true. She did not, and could not, know it, but Kate was certainly not remotely ready for what was about to happen that evening!

  CHAPTER SEVEN: AN INDECENT PROPOSAL

  Colin nodded in approving fashion as he quickly looked Kate up and down as she stood in the doorway.

  “You look stunning, Kate. A great choice of outfit, if I may be so bold. I really love those boots. They are perfect.”

  Kate appreciated the compliment but wondered what was meant by that last comment. Perfect for what, exactly? Did he have a foot fetish and was hoping to do some foot worshipping with them? Kate wasn’t quite sure if she fancied that or not. She had once got a foot massage from a very sexy masseuse on holiday last year, which she found to be incredibly relaxing and also quite a turn-on, but that was probably as much because the masseuse was buff and topless as much as anything. Foot worship, toe-sucking and all the rest of it was another thing entirely. She had always been a bit of a vanilla girl when it came to that sort of thing.

  “Well, it was all a bit of a rush, to be honest. You didn’t give me much warning about the change of plans you know. A bit more notice next time would be appreciated!”

  “Ah, yes. Sorry about that. I promise to try and do better next time.”

  “Oh, that’s OK. I didn’t really have any other plans this evening, to be honest. Only another episode of Coronation Street, which I can really live without.”

  “Ah, Coronation Street. That’s one programme I can honestly say that I have never watched in my life.”

  “You’re kidding! Never? Never, ever?”

  “Never, ever! We were an EastEnders family when I was growing up. Oh, and The Bill.”

  “I suppose that makes sense, being from London and all. I just thought everybody watched Coronation Street, and Emmerdale.”

  “Nope! Just a bit more evidence of the great north/south divide, eh?

  “And here we are doing our bit to bridge the gap!”

  “I didn’t realize we were in the business of diplomatic rapprochements but, hey, let’s kill two birds with one stone if we can.”

  “So, where are we off to, then?” As Kate asked the question, they were just approaching Ashton House. To her surprise, Colin indicated, slowed and pulled into the driveway.

  “As a matter of fact, I…err…thought we could do the main course here and then perhaps go somewhere later for dessert.”

  “Oh! Right, OK!”

  “You sound disappointed.”

  “No, not really. I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all. But that’s fine. If you’ve got everything planned already, then that’s perfectly OK.

  “OK, great! The plus side is that I do have a couple of exceptional bottles of wine - one of which I will open as soon as we get in.”

  “Sounds lovely.”

  Colin opened the door and motioned to Kate to go in ahead. Kate had been expecting there to be a smell of dinner cooking coming from the kitchen but she couldn’t detect anything. Perhaps it was some kind of salad, which would be slightly disappointing. As she moved further into the house, she noticed that the dining room table was not set either, which was also a bit puzzling. Her rumination was interrupted by a sudden pop, which she realized was simply Colin opening the bottle of wine as he had promised. In he came, proffering a large glass of red wine.

  Kate took it and took a sip. It was, as Colin had said, very nice indeed. She took a large sip to help fortify her in readiness for asking what was an awkward question.

  “Colin, I hope you don’t mind me asking you this…but nothing seems to be cooking and the dining room table isn’t set for a meal either…” Kate paused, hoping that Colin would be able to see the point she was trying to make and avoid her having to end the sentence with something like “so what the hell is going on.”

  Colin, himself, took a large swig of wine in preparation for his reply. He paused for no more than two seconds, which seemed far longer to Kate, took a deep breath and then launched into it. “Yes, well, I suppose I should explain that. You see, the truth of the matter, Kate, is that I asked you to come here because I actually need your help. I really need a big favour from you.”

  Kate took another swig of wine, nervously. Help? What kind of help?

  “It’s work-related as a matter of fact. You remember that Japanese client that I was speaking to last night?

  “Yes…”

  “Well, we had arranged a session for tonight, but unfortunately my…err…colleague rang me earlier to let me know that her car had broken down on the motorway and there was absolutely no way that she could get here in time. That’s really left me in the lurch as you can imagine – as I said yesterday, he is a very important customer and pays very, very well for my services – the last thing I want to do is let him down. There’s absolutely nobody else who I could call to come and fill in at this stage of the game. So…I was hoping that you might be able to step into her shoes, just this once. I’d pay you of course and make it worth your while. And then we really could go out later, I really meant that.”

  “Hang on a second, though - why didn’t you just tell me all of that in the first place instead of dropping all of this on me at the last minute? I was under
the impression that we were going out on our original date, but just a day earlier.” Colin hung his head for a second or two, and then lifted it to look at Kate.

  “Yes, I know. I should have been more upfront about it, but I was afraid you would turn me down. I really am sorry about that.”

  “Why on earth would you be worried that I would turn you down? I’m happy to help out a friend you know, especially if there’s some money involved.”

  “Well, you don’t know what I need you to do yet! It’s a little…off-piste, to say the least.”

  “Well, out with it, then! Does it require being well-dressed? Is that why you asked me to put my best togs on?”

  “Oh, absolutely – that was a very firm stipulation that was made by Mr Fukui – that’s the name of the client – that the model must be wearing fashionable and attractive clothing.”

  “Model? You want me to do some modelling? What type of modelling? This isn’t porn, is it? Because if it is…” Worried that Kate was going to walk out there and then, Colin waved his arms violently to make it very clear that this was most definitely not.

  “No, no, this is not porn, I can assure you. There is absolutely no nudity required for this. You will remain fully, or at least partially, clothed throughout. There may be some need to take off a couple of items of clothing, but no more than that. You have my word.” Kate seemed to relax a little bit after hearing that assurance, although no-one could have blamed her for not taking what was said completely at face value.

  “OK…so…if it’s not porn, then what the hell is it?”

  “Come upstairs and I will show you – that’s probably the best way of explaining this.”

  Kate stood up, and drained the remainder of the large glass of wine that she had only been given a few minutes ago and, without really realizing, had quaffed in record time. It was very good wine though.

  It was with quite an amount of trepidation that Kate followed Colin up the stairs. She recalled very well what had been in those two rooms she had explored, but she could not link them to what was happening now. Colin led her to the first room which she had entered last night, the empty one. It wasn’t empty anymore.

  Colin stood there for a few seconds, saying absolutely nothing, but closely watching the expression on Kate’s face as her brain tried to process what her eyes were seeing. The first thing she saw was a chair. A white, plastic chair that looked very much like it was part of a cheap patio set that you could get from Asda. It was in the centre of the room. In front of it was a tripod, on which was set a camera – not a real camera, but a webcam one. It was hooked up to a laptop, which was resting on another white chair with the lid open so that the screen was facing the chair. Behind the laptop chair, and to the sides, were lighting stands.

  But it was what was behind the chair that really caught Kate’s attention. There were two long tables, end to end, which almost took up the entire wall. On it was some food, masses and masses of food. Every item was replicated in at least triplicate and there were piles of some tins as though this was part of shooting gallery. Kate found herself drawn to the table to take a closer look. There were tins of custard, of course, but also tins of various kinds of soup, squirty cream, a large bag of flour, a jar of coffee, toffee sauce, three bowls of what looked like slime, tomato ketchup and mushy peas respectively, and a small tube of glitter. There was other stuff as well, but Kate could only process so much information in one go.

  She turned to look at Colin with a very puzzled look on her face. “I don’t understand. What is all this food for?” Colin had an indecipherable expression, somewhere between excitement and trepidation.

  “Haven’t you guessed? This room is a photographic and video studio. Over there is a webcam set-up for a live performance and on this table are the props.”

  “Props?” replied Kate, wondering if that glass of wine had completely dulled her senses.

  “That’s right. It’s very simple. You can’t go wrong…all you need to do is sit down on that white chair and I pour the contents of that table all over you, one–by-one.

  Kate looked at Colin as if he had gone absolutely bonkers. “You’ll do what? All that stuff? That’s disgusting. And it would mess up these clothes and these boots, they’re not cheap you know.”

  “I do realise that, but that’s all part of the fun.”

  “Fun? Where’s the fun in that? It’s just plain weird to me, and probably a bit perverted. And not to mention a total waste of perfectly good food.”

  “Well, it may surprise you to know that there are quite a lot of people who enjoy this sort of thing – either getting messy themselves, getting others messy or watching them get messy – like our friend Mr Fukui for example. In fact, there is a whole community of people online who are really into it. It’s completely harmless.”

  “And you are really into this, I suppose?” Colin’s face went slightly red at this point. Understandably, he never found it an easy thing to tell people about this, although he hadn’t exactly done so a lot of times. It wasn’t the sort of thing that could easily be discussed at a party or in a group of friends.

  “So Colin, what are you doing this weekend?

  “Well, as a matter of fact, I’m going to spend most of it pouring large quantities of assorted foodstuffs over the heads of attractive women. I might even try a bit of mud wrestling with one of them if the mood takes me.

  Oh, right. Err…OK. Well…have a nice time… (cue hurried and simultaneous ending of conversation and friendship)

  But there was no point hiding it now.

  “Yeah, Kate, I’m really into it and have been for years. It’s part of who I am and I’ve gradually come to accept and embrace it.”

  “Wow, sorry, it’s just a bit hard to get my head around this. So you’re saying that you really enjoy doing this and your job is basically pouring food over women?”

  “That’s a pretty fair summary! And I usually take video or stills to capture it or, in this case, a webcam.

  “And people pay you to access what you produce, I assume?”

  “Yep, that’s where I make a good chunk of my money – it’s all online these days. But I’ve got big expansion plans as well.

  “Oh right, dare I ask what?” Kate could hardly believe that she was having a conversation about this.

  “Well, one of the reasons I’ve bought this place is to be able to have equipment set up all the time and have other photographers and models come, as well as the customers so that they can watch or join in if they like.

  “Well, as my dad always likes to say “there’s nowt so funny as folk.” Kate shook her head in a mixture of disgust and amazement. “I just don’t get the attraction.”

  “Well, to be honest,” said Colin, checking his watch, “you don’t need to get it just at the moment. All that’s needed now, please, is your agreement to participate. Maybe it will be a case of learning by doing? In any event, I’d appreciate if you’d make a decision very soon as the webcast is scheduled to start in just under fifteen minutes. And….just so you know...if I cannot provide this shoot tonight then Mr Fukui will probably claim breach of contract and sue the pants off me. He’s a very powerful man – very generous when things are done how and when he likes them, but he has a reputation by all accounts of taking people to the cleaners (no pun intended) if they disappoint him. No pressure, or anything, but you’ve no idea how much I would appreciate your help tonight.”

  Kate looked at Colin, who looked back at her with imploring eyes. Those eyes were so persuasive that Kate had to avert her gaze from them and think this through. This was like a dream, or was it a nightmare? Was this really happening to her? Was she seriously considering allowing herself to be turned into a disgusting mess and have all her best clothes completely ruined? Was she prepared to allow this simply as a favour for a friend, or was it because she fancied Colin and didn’t want to scupper any chance of a future relationship by letting him down? Had her self-esteem and self-respect sunk to such a low
level?

  No! No, it hadn’t. For some reason, that thought made her feel quite good about herself. Now the more she thought about it, the more she became convinced that she was not going to go through with it. This was ridiculous. Colin had no right to ask her to do this, never mind expect her to do it. And he had no right to get her there under false pretences in the first place. She was all for trying to be helpful, and she was very sorry that Colin might have gotten into a tricky spot - but that wasn’t her fault at all and had nothing really to do with her. There had to be a limit to doing a good turn, didn’t there? Her mind was made up and there was nothing on earth that could possibly force her to change her mind.

  “Colin…” began Kate. But she got no further before Colin interrupted.

  “I’ll pay you two thousand pounds.”

  Kate paused, completely frozen with shock.

  “I said – I’ll pay you two…thousand…pounds!” Colin said the words slower this time to make sure that Kate had heard him.

  “I heard you the first time. Two thousand quid? You’re having me on!”

  “No, I am not! I told you I was prepared to pay you, and I am. Now, I wasn’t planning to pay Sophie, the original model, anything close to that, but this is an emergency. As I told you, Mr Fukui is a very wealthy man – so in the circumstances I am more than happy to split the fee 50-50 with you.”

  Kate had never been the strongest at sums, but even she could make the calculation. “So Mr Fuktuti or whatever his name is, is paying you FOUR THOUSAND QUID to watch you pour food over someone?” Colin nodded.

  “I’m in the wrong business, aren’t I?” Colin shrugged with a knowing smile as if to indicate to her that perhaps this enterprise wasn’t as bad an idea as she had originally thought.

  Kate just could not get the sum of two thousand pounds out of her mind. That was a thousand pounds an hour. That amount of money would clear the arrears of her student debt and pay the next eight or nine months of payments as well! This was virtually free money. And really, how bad could this really turn out to be? It was bound to be a bit yucky and probably very smelly, but nothing that a good long shower or a soak in the bath couldn’t fix. If she looked at this as dispassionately as possible – and as a sensible (albeit unusual) business transaction – then her head had to rule her heart on this one.