Not Dead in the Heart of Dixie

by R Kralik

  We intend to grow onions and herbs for the government, but we intend to grow whatever else this compound needs to survive. If we need to use 20% of the garden, then so be it.

  Our allotment included exactly what you'd expect and a couple of things you might not.

  Along with a radio setup and four hand held radios, we got a notebook full of code words and click codes.

  We got three barrels of flour, two barrels of sugar, a huge plastic jug of baking powder, and a 25 lb bag of salt. We also got a dozen #10 cans each of stewed tomatoes, corn, carrots, green beans, kidney beans, lentils, pork 'n beans, peas, spaghetti, chili, fruit cocktail, peaches, pears, and assorted pie filling.

  There are a dozen cases of Top Ramen noodles and another dozen cases of Cup 'O Soup.

  We have two 50 pound bags of potatoes and about 20 pounds of onions along with two large boxes of beef jerky.

  There's powdered butter, powdered eggs, powdered cheese, and two dozen tubs of lard.

  We have coffee, tea, powdered milk, Kool-Aid, two-liter sodas and 35 cases of bottled water with 32 bottles in each case.

  We have four big cookbooks on pioneer cooking, two books on food preservation, two books on gardening, and two books on Solar Power that were added at the request of Major Knellson.

  There are fifteen cases of quart canning jars and eight cases of pint canning jars with twelve jars in each case.

  We have a pallet each of horse feed, cattle feed, goat feed, and chicken feed.

  We have to turn sideways to go down the rows inside the garage. I was loving every minute of it and so was everyone else.

  We also got four red chickens and a red rooster to go with them, as well as a male piglet because both of ours are female.

  Every animal on the place was vaccinated and micro-chipped including Opie and Tig. Huh? I thought that was strange but the “man in charge” said it was to track the animals and discourage other survivors from stealing. I was surprised they didn't micro-chip all the humans as well.

  We each received three pairs of shorts, one pair of pants, and five t-shirts along with a package of underwear and a package of socks. The women all received two bras.

  The compound as a whole received ten, one-size-fits-all, sets of rain gear.

  We got four M16's (one for each corner of the fence, I suppose), six Kevlar vests (yeah baby) and a big 'ol cast iron, claw-footed bathtub with a tall shower attachment and curtain rod that circles above it (OH YEAH baby!).

  We got two cases of 1000 rounds each to go with the M16's.

  We also got a dozen laminated and coded badges attached to lanyards to wear on “recycling missions.”

  The last thing we received was a huge pallet of insect repellant along with written instructions on how to use it and color photos of the “infected flies and every known mutation.” Each of us had to sign a list stating at the top that we had received the insect repellant and instructions for proper use.

  Oh, there was one other box. On top of the taped box was written “Josephine Minor, CONFIDENTIAL” in big red letters. Josie grabbed it and headed to her motorhome.

  We all stood at the front gate to see the troops off to their next survivor group. The rear guards stopped on their way out and told us to be aware that there may be unusually high numbers of HDI's behind the unit, but they had taken out most of them.

  We stood there with our mouth's gaping as the last of the rear guards disappeared down the road.

  Five minutes later, we were having target practice because several HDI's had come off the mountainside and into the field. Mick counted the bodies and I ran in to write it down on the blank pages in our new “HDI Records and Reports” book. We killed thirteen HDI's within 10 minutes of the unit's departure. Isn't that just dandy?

  Tomorrow will be a big day as we try to organize and move all these supplies. We are very grateful for them, and I suppose my encounter with Battle-axe was worth it after all.

  Carisa will be home tomorrow morning. I can hardly wait!

  Bye for now.

  Wednesday, April 9

  I was busy making breakfast for the return of our incognito members when I heard gunshots coming from the road.

  I wasn't surprised. The new M16's were getting a workout and we had to keep five people on watch duty, lying on top of the trailer fence out front, all night long.

  The death number in our HDI report book was growing more rapidly than I could keep up with it. Marisa entered the latest numbers while my hands were covered in biscuit dough.

  Not long afterwards, I heard the sound of truck engines and I raced to the door to pull my baby into my arms. She was second out the truck door, between Luke and Larson.

  She ran up the sidewalk and threw her arms around my neck. I cried like a baby. I knew she was safe with Dane and Soo, but still, I cried like a baby and erased the image of the lonely, hardened, dangerous Carisa out of my head.

  Everyone made their rounds, hugging and shaking hands.

  The men went to put all the vehicles back in place while the women came inside to finish breakfast.

  We ate bacon, eggs, biscuits, and pancakes while we talked in detail about the experiences we'd had with the unit. Dane literally jumped out of his chair and ran out the door to lay eyes on the finished fence. He came back a few minutes later with a big smile on his face. He picked up Elaine and twirled her in circles. It was a wonderful sight to behold.

  He slammed four pancakes and a glob of eggs down his throat and headed to the trailer fence with firepower, and bacon, in his hands to take over watch from one of the men who'd been there for hours. Soo, Isaac, Jesse, and Shawna did the same.

  Several minutes later, a bunch of tired, worn-out men came in the door for breakfast. They swallowed their food while trying not to nod off in their plates, then they headed for bed. Mick is sleeping as I type.

  Josie smelled fresh and clean when she walked in this morning. She tossed three additional Kevlar vests and two pair of night-vision goggles on the table. She said that Major Knellson had forgotten to add them in the allotment so he put them in a box for her to distribute as she saw fit.

  She smelled like sunflowers and was sportin' a brand new Colt 1911 on her hip. She turned to me with a naughty look on her face and winked. She said that Chris (Major Knellson) had taken a special interest in our group and would check back with us often. Uh huh... I bet he will.

  Carisa allowed me to hold onto her arm all through breakfast and now she's in the garage, trying to organize the work of moving food and supplies into the basement.

  When Josie finished her breakfast, she stood and handed me a folded cloth bandana. I felt something small and rectangular shaped in that bandana, and looked up at Josie. She had a naughty twinkle in her eye as she turned and headed out the kitchen door.

  Inside that bandana was the most beautiful pack of long menthol cigarettes I've ever seen. I threw the bandana on the floor and ran out to the back porch.

  Josie was waiting for me and we talked as I indulged myself. She made me stand downwind because she's pregnant. I quietly asked if she intended to tell Chris Knellson that the baby was his. I thought she was gonna fall off the porch laughing. “I just might” she said. That Josie is a bad, bad girl. I love her.

  Now, I have 19 “nasty” cigarettes left. Yay! I wanna lay in that big bathtub and hang my leg over the side along with one hand, holding a cigarette between my fingers, while Mick massages shampoo into my scalp. Maybe later.

  Pop, Nana, and Emma are harvesting something in the garden, so I'm sure there'll be food to take care of this afternoon. I am so grateful!

  Josie and Emma have lunch duty and, after I finish a few loads of laundry, I'll entertain myself by watching them work to.

  See ya later.

  2:10 PM...

  The men were all awake in time for lunch and the number of gunshots near the trailer fence has dropped drastically. We were able to remove two guards from the lineup and I was astonished when I went to enter the
dead HDI numbers.

  The unit left behind 112 HDI's (so far). Mick says they'll wait several hours after they see the last one before going out for body cleanup. At least they have the backhoe available, and cleanup should move pretty fast. Thank goodness.

  Dane and Mick sat together at lunch and discussed building the guard towers, looting for metal sheets, and going after another stash on the bad guys map.

  They both agreed that they'd go after another stash three days from now. In the meantime, they'll see what town looks like since the unit went through and then, draw up plans for the towers and catwalks.

  Dane wants to add two guard towers to the mid-sections of the fence instead of one. Mick wholeheartedly agreed with him. They also want to line the catwalk with metal sheeting if they can find enough.

  I threw the phone book on the table in front of them and told them to dog-ear pages listing any place they assumed metal sheeting could be found.

  They buried their noses in that phone book. They turned pages and grunted at one another when they came across an interesting advertisement. By the time they were finished, the corner of the phone book had grown fatter from all the folded pages.

  Mick stood from the table, kissed me goodbye, and said he and Dane were “goin' to town.” They headed out in the Jeep, and both of them are loaded for bear. They each grabbed a Kevlar vest, but I just realized that they forgot to take radios and their badges. Crap! Stupid, ignorant, blankety blanks!

  Well, there's nothing I can do about it now, so I'm headed down to the basement to see if Carisa needs my help. I want to spend time with her. I really missed that sweet girl.

  See ya later.

  8:00 PM...

  Mick and Dane aren't home. Supper is over, two plates are in the cold oven, and they aren't here.

  I'm a nervous wreck.

  I would ask someone to take badges and go out looking for them, but it's dark. I don't want to put anyone in danger.

  Jason told me to remember when he had to hide out in town overnight, and it all worked out fine. He said if they aren't back by morning, he plans to go looking for them. I have a bad feeling about this. Oh Lord, please let them come up the driveway right now!

  11:45 PM...

  They're still missing. I've worried so hard that I'm physically exhausted and every muscle in my body aches. I can't close my eyes and sleep while Mick is out there, possibly in danger, maybe even dead. Oh my God, please bring them home! I can't take much more of this!

  Wait...

  Okay, I've gathered myself and need to do something to keep busy, so I'm going out to re-clean the kitchen and then, I'll shell peas. There's two bushel baskets full of peas sitting on the table.

  I want Mick, and I want him NOW.

  Thursday, April 10

  6:00 AM...

  They're not home and I can't stand it anymore. Jason, Ian, and Rick are gearing up to go out looking for them. I woke them at 5:30 and told them I was gonna go if they didn't. They didn't argue, which told me they are very concerned as well.

  Every pea in the house is shelled and every corner of the kitchen has been cleaned and re-cleaned.

  Elaine came in the kitchen around 4:00 because she's worried about Dane. We have muffins and coffee ready to go with the rescue crew. I've been up all night on pins and needles, and spent a couple of hours talking with Isaac and Pop while they stood watch.

  I can hardly wait for Jason, Ian, and Rick to get in the Lexus and head out. I made sure they have badges, vests, and radios with their emergency backpacks.

  I just heard the kitchen door. Maybe they're ready to go. I plan to sit beside the radio the entire time.

  See ya later.

  2:30 PM...

  Jason, Rick, and Ian are in the kitchen, grabbing something to eat. They'll head back out after they finish and stay out until dark if they need to. I'm going. I can't sit here and wait. I promised Rick that I'd stay in the Lexus in case of danger or... whatever.

  I need to grab my gear and go out there and stare at them while they eat. I can't wait to get out of here and find Mick.

  8:00 PM...

  We didn't find them. We found the Jeep, but we didn't find Mick and Dane.

  We searched for hours. Rick, Ian, and Jason loaded up the Lexus with medications from a couple of pharmacies while we were searching. I was shocked that antibiotics were still on the shelves.

  I looked for Mick around every corner. I prayed and imagined that he would jump out from an alley and wave his arms so we could drive over to get him. It didn't happen. There was no sign of him.

  I begged the men to stay out after the sun went down, but they refused. I leaned over and laid my head on Jason's shoulder and cried the entire way back. He put his arm around me and said we could try again tomorrow.

  We didn't find Mick. My heart is aching down to my very soul. Half of me is missing and I almost can't function without it.

  I want to feel his rough and callused fingers brush across my cheek. I want him to walk up behind me and put his arms around me while I'm washing dishes. I want to smell him. I just want the smell of him all over me. I want surprise flowers from Walmart and a surprise white chocolate mocha from McDonald's.

  I wanna find loose change and little bolts and screws on top of his dresser. I wanna hear him snore and belch. I wanna see his dirty socks laying on the floor by the recliner.

  I want his cold, winter hands to go up my shirt. I wanna walk into the bathroom and find the toilet seat up. Oh my God in heaven, where is he? Where is the blood that runs through my veins? I can barely breathe.

  WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, MICK?

  My heart is being ripped from my chest and squeezed in a giant vise. It's going to burst. Oh... please... God... bring him back. Please bring him back... this hurts too bad.

  10:30 PM...

  I need to remain calm and level headed. Calm and level head. Calm and level head.

  Carisa's in my bed, trying to sleep. She's in rough shape and wants her daddy. I need to stay strong for her. I have no choice. If I break, she'll break. Oh Lord, please let me stay strong for Carisa.

  The Jeep is sitting beside a small pharmacy and the keys were in the ignition. Jason wanted to bring it home, but there was no way I was gonna let that happen. I want that Jeep left right where it is in case Mick and Dane somehow manage to get back to it.

  There's a little hole in the left side of the passenger seat behind the seat belt buckle. I had Jason stick the keys inside that little hole. Mick knows about the hole. He and I have always joked that it would make a good stash hole for a small-town drug dealer.

  Town is abandoned by humans and most HDI's. A couple of times, we heard something moving around inside one of the shops and saw a few HDI's in alleyways.

  We saw no living human and no animals. There's no one in the park to feed the birds and they're gone. Surely, this wasn't all caused by the military unit. Town is ready to be looted and the only things I care about right now is my children and my husband.

  Josie told me that she'd contact Major Knellson tomorrow morning. We'll have to say that Dane is new to the compound because he's not on the list.

  She doesn't know if the Major will make an effort to find them. If he wants his stinkin' onions, he better make an effort. I mean it! Otherwise, he can shove the field up his behind and we'll deal with “ownership pending” our own way.

  I insisted that the compound run as usual while we were out. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to any member of this big family or any of our supplies because of my negligence. I know they all understand and sympathize with me. I can feel it pouring off of them.

  Hey, Brain. Can you let me be responsive to the needs of other people here? It might take away from my pain. I doubt it, but it just might.

  I don't know how long I've been awake but I'm not one bit sleepy. Hisa's sending in a cup of tea that's supposed to help me relax. I doubt it'll work. How can I relax when my stronger, better half is somewhere in danger, or h
urt?

  Marisa's here with the tea. Hold on a minute.

  Okay, I'm back. I have three cigarettes left in the pack Josie gave me... whenever it was... I can't remember. I don't care.

  If I can get Mick back, I'll never smoke again and I'll try not to curse or have mean, wicked thoughts. Please God, I'll do anything you ask of me. Please consider Carisa's pain in this horrifying new world. She needs her daddy. She needs him to protect her and make sure whomever she chooses for life treats her right.

  Life will go on.

  Rick and Ian will take me out to look for Mick and Josie will contact Major Knellson and one of us will find him safe and alive. I need to believe that.

  Jesse and Jeremy will be out for hay.

  Pop, Nana, and Emma will be in the garden.

  The women will be preserving whatever's harvested.

  The boy will be hunting quail.

  Josie will be near the radio.

  We will find Mick.

  Whatever Hisa slipped into my “relaxing” tea is beginning to work. I almost “willed” her to slip something into it. I'd be no good for anything if I'm dead or a basket case. I need to sleep.

  I will find Mick. I will never give up. Count on it.

  Friday, April 11

  I closed my eyes last night and they opened six hours later. It felt like it was only a moment or two.

  I thought I had dozed off, but I looked at the clock on this stupid computer and discovered that I slept and didn't dream for six solid hours.

  Carisa's still asleep, but she's moving around a lot. My eyes feel like someone hammered quarters into them, and I have a “doctored tea” hangover. I wanna get dressed and get out of here to look for Mick.

  Kevin, Rona, Shawna, and Lisa plan to loot in town today. They have a list and asked me to check over it to see if I wanted to add anything. I looked at the list but I couldn't really see it. I handed it back to Rona and she pulled me in for a tight hug. She tried to reassure me and I tried to let her. I won't be assured or reassured until Mick is in my arms. I can't help it. It's the way I'm made.