Designed

by Alicia Renee Kline

  “Remember the last time we saw one another, Eric?” I pressed. “Remember how you asked Lauren a question?”

  “Of course, Blake. I’m not an idiot.”

  “Well, she may have told you no, but she told my brother yes.”

  I realized how harsh that was as I watched his face fall. For a split second, the arrogant veneer crumpled, giving way to someone who realized all that he’d lost. As much as he tried to hide his emotion, the cold mask he placed back on wasn’t fooling me.

  “So it’s done?” Even if I couldn’t see through his act, the crack in his voice told me everything I needed to know.

  I softened immediately. With a nod, I told him yes. “I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay,” he told himself, though his words were addressed to me. I’d used that trick too many times not to recognize it. “I knew it would happen eventually. But honestly, I didn’t know.”

  One look at him and I knew he was telling me the truth.

  “I even called her to let her know I was coming.” He laughed, a staccato sound that evoked anything but humor. “Guess that’s why she didn’t answer. So what’s the proper thing to do in this circumstance? Do I crash the reception and give her my best wishes? Do I run out and buy her a card?”

  Panic entered my veins as I saw him doing just that. She was merely a few feet away from him, the draw to further make amends and offer closure tempting him. But if he’d reacted so obviously to learning she was now married, seeing her pregnant would crush him. He didn’t deserve that; no one did.

  “No, Eric,” I said, shaking my head. “You go upstairs to your room and you stay there. You let her have her day and you stay out of it.”

  He closed his eyes and let reality sink in for a moment. Just as he appeared to agree with me, I heard commotion down the hallway. Boisterous voices and laughter, headed our way. Unfortunately, I couldn’t tell who they belonged to. I lunged for the elevator, pressing the button repeatedly in an effort to bring the car down quicker. I needed to get him out of here. What if Lauren picked that exact moment to retreat to her room for a bathroom break? What if they saw each other and the whole day just fell to pieces?

  The elevator wasn’t cooperating and the footsteps were fast approaching. Impulsively, I grabbed onto him and pushed him against the wall, attempting to position him at an angle where it wouldn’t be visible who I was talking to. Or better yet, making out with. My mind made up, I wrapped my arms about his neck and whispered, “Kiss me.”

  “What?”

  “For fuck’s sake,” I huffed, pulling him into me.

  I pressed my lips against his, hoping that my massively big updo would cover most of the rest of his face from view. He hesitated just briefly, then he must have decided to go at it with reckless abandon. He wasn’t exactly the worst kisser I’d met, but suffice it to say that Lauren had undoubtedly upgraded when she coupled with Matthew. Not that I’d ever kissed my brother like that, but a guy didn’t bed thirty-seven girls without having some talent. I let Eric have his fun, telling myself that this was one of the many good deeds I’d end up doing today. I could take one for the team.

  Until his hands moved off of my shoulders and down my back. Knowing they would keep migrating south, I chewed on his lower lip to try to tell him to stop. He didn’t pick up on that, though. His fingers slid further down, until they rested firmly on my ass. The final straw was when he squeezed.

  I pulled away abruptly, unable to stop my hand from raising up and slapping him, hard, against his cheek. My action was met with applause.

  “I’m pretty sure you just became my hero,” Gracie said.

  I breathed a sigh of relief as I spun around to see only her and Will standing before us. They must have been the owners of the voices.

  “I’m pretty sure I’m going to have my work cut out for me tonight,” Will deadpanned.

  “Eric,” Gracie acknowledged, apparently feeling obligated.

  “Gracie,” he returned, equally as forced.

  Before they killed each other with the daggers that were being shot across the hallway, I interrupted. “Will, this is Eric. Eric, this is Will.”

  “The Eric?” Will asked, understanding settling over his face.

  “The one and only,” I confirmed. “Where’s Lauren?”

  “The photographer wanted to take some shots of them outside,” Gracie informed. “But I imagine she’ll be headed this way any time now. You know how she can’t stay away from a bathroom nowadays.”

  I widened my eyes at her, silently pleading with her to stop. It would be just like her to insert the knife in Eric’s back, then take the handle and twist it repeatedly. He’d suffered enough today by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. And things would only get ugly if he found out. Or worse yet, if Lauren walked unknowingly into our little reunion.

  “The hair and makeup people did a fabulous job on her,” I covered, placing my hand on Eric’s shoulder. “She looks like a million bucks. We’re allowing her to be a little vain on her wedding day, but I promise if I catch her gazing at her reflection in the flatware at dinner that I’ll put an end to it.”

  I punched the button to call the elevator back to our floor. “So if you ever loved her, you’ll stay locked in your room all night and not make a peep.”

  Eric nodded. The elevator stopped and opened up for him, and I practically shoved him inside. He pulled his suitcase in behind him, turning around and looking at me as the doors began to close between us.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  Our eyes met just before he was concealed from my vision. I stared into a pair of tortured emerald depths, as he certainly saw comparable pain reflected in mine. If he’d been looking for another round of closure, he’d gotten it in spades tonight. Then he was gone, hopefully to obey my commands and to disappear like a ghost for the rest of the evening.

  “What in the hell was he doing here?” Gracie asked.

  “Heading up to Chicago. Hoping to score a visit with the bride.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Figures. He never was one to lose gracefully.”

  “But I think I’ve scared him into submission. Only problem is that he called her before showing up.”

  “It’s not a problem if she never finds out.” Gracie’s brown eyes twinkled mischievously. “I know where her cell is and I also know her password.”

  A big smile broke out across my face. Devious? Yes, but necessary. What she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.

  “Will?” I asked sweetly, batting my eyelashes. “Could you do a favor for us?”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m almost afraid to say yes. But yes.”

  “Guard the door. You’re a cop; it should be second nature. Don’t let Lauren in until we come back out. Please?”

  Will hesitated dramatically for a split second, then relented. “I guess so.”

  “You’re a good man, Will,” I proclaimed, patting him on the shoulder as Gracie and I walked past him into the bridal suite. “I’ll never forget what you’ve done in the name of true love.”

  He rolled his eyes as we latched the door behind us. While I reflected on how lucky we’d been in regards to the whole potential ordeal, Gracie wasted no time in heading over to Lauren’s stuff. She grabbed her friend’s purse, rummaging through the contents until she found the phone.

  “He’s damn lucky,” Gracie muttered, holding up the evidence. From the display, I noted he had called multiple times. He’d hung up a couple of times prior to leaving a rambling voice mail message, which Gracie played on speakerphone for our listening enjoyment. Any previous notions of him that I’d had painting him as the ultimate salesman had been torn to shreds listening to his shaky, insecure plea for an audience with his ex.

  “He never would have lived that down.” Gracie laughed as she deleted the message, followed by the missed calls. “I might make certain that he never does, anyway.”

  I elbowed her playfully. “I think he’s pitiful enough as it is. No need to make
him waller in it.”

  “Waller?” Gracie paused, considering my word choice. “Like a pig. I kind of like that.”

  She placed Lauren’s phone back in her purse, then returned the bag to its proper location.

  “One crisis averted,” I announced to Will as we breezed back into the hallway. Thankfully, he was alone and not stalling either the bride or the groom. “Let’s go try to avert the rest.”

  With that, Gracie and I each took one of his arms and allowed him to lead us towards the ballroom.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  My bridesmaid duties were officially over. We’d eaten the dinner, had the toasts and done the obligatory wedding party dance. Will and I had danced a couple of times after, just for something to do. He looked as out of place as I felt. Gracie had gone off to sit with some of her friends from the bank. Matthew and Lauren were doing the customary mingling. Chris had disappeared, undoubtedly to get away from me. I imagined he would have stuck by Will’s side if I hadn’t have been there instead. But with his friend’s attention fixed firmly on me, that would have been awkward.

  Tired of feeling helpless, I rose from my seat and walked the room, surveying the party that I had put together. Everyone seemed to be having fun - if I wasn’t including myself in that statement. All in all, a major success. The pride I would have normally felt was displaced by the knowledge that I still had an hour or so to go of avoiding Chris before things packed up for the night and everyone went home.

  Will hadn’t had to stop me from behaving badly. Unless you counted the slapping Eric incident, I had been a model friend, not causing any waves. For this reason, he let me go about my business unchaperoned, choosing to stay at the table and chat up Doug. Lauren’s dad was good for that - making everyone feel welcome.

  I had just finished making my rounds, saying hello to Lauren’s neighbors Regina and Brian and her boss, George, when someone came up behind me and tapped my shoulder. I froze in place.

  “Hey, sunshine,” Matthew greeted, instantly putting me at ease, “want to dance?”

  I turned to face him, exchanging a genuine smile. “Sure thing.”

  We maneuvered out onto the dance floor, him wrapping his arms around me. His touch, as always, was warm and comforting and I relaxed considerably. Knowing the cause of my tension, he said nothing though I knew he noticed.

  “Where’s your wife?” I asked, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. We swayed in time to the music, rocking back and forth in our own little world.

  “Where do you think?” He laughed, as did I. “I think we’re going to be leaving soon. She’s pretty tired.”

  “It’s got to be hard to be the center of attention all day. Add that to the fact that she’s pregnant and wobbling around on heels and I really don’t know how she lasted this long.”

  “We’ve still got some packing to do before we leave in the morning.”

  “Really?” Not wanting to fly with Lauren in her condition, they had chosen to take their honeymoon in Hilton Head, which was still far enough away to see the ocean, but close enough to be driven to. “I figured she would have been packed for weeks by now.”

  “She doesn’t have a very big wardrobe of maternity clothes. So she pretty much had to do all her laundry this week so she’d have something to take.”

  I laughed. “I didn’t think about that.”

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For putting this whole thing together for her. For me.”

  “You knew I would. Don’t go getting sappy on me or anything.”

  “It’s just that I couldn’t have picked a better sister even if I’d had a choice. You’ve done so much for me - for Lauren, too - that we’ll never be able to repay you.”

  “Of course you guys will. Just be happy for the rest of your lives. You deserve it more than anyone. And don’t argue with me. And by the way, you’re not so bad of a brother yourself.”

  He snorted. “If you forget about a couple years of my life, maybe.”

  “You’re the person that you are today because of who you were back then. And you can appreciate what you have now because of it.”

  “I guess so. It’s just that some days, it feels like I’m going to wake up from this dream and come crashing back to reality. I mean, I’m married and I’m going to be a dad. Even three years ago, I never would have imagined that. It’s funny how when you meet the right person, your life completely changes.”

  “I always knew it would, honey,” I said sincerely.

  “I’m glad someone did. I know I had my doubts.”

  “Just promise me something.”

  “What?”

  “That you wake up every day of your life and remind yourself how lucky you are to have found each other. That you never stop being best friends. That you will love her more tomorrow than you do today. That you never let anything get in the way of what you feel right now.”

  “I think I can handle that.”

  “Well, good.”

  I lifted my head and stared him straight in the eye. Even though we had patented the art of silent conversation, I wanted to say what I felt aloud. “I’m so proud of you. And I love you so much.”

  “I love you, too.”

  We stopped dancing then to hug in earnest. Again, my eyes felt watery, and I was about to concede defeat and let the tears flow when I felt the unmistakable sensation of someone watching us, of someone approaching.

  “Hey,” Chris said, “can I cut in?”

  My body went rigid at the sound of his voice. As I pulled away from my brother’s embrace, I pleaded with him silently to bail me out. The lift of Matthew’s eyebrow was such that I knew he would ignore my request. I hoped that Will was nearby and that he was paying close attention.

  “Sure,” Matthew said, confirming my fears. He untangled himself from my grasp, plucking my fingers out of the death grip they had on his. His blue eyes flashed encouragement my way as he handed me over to Chris, placing my trembling hand in his friend’s and squeezing slightly before letting go. Then the crowd parted and he vanished, leaving us alone.

  For a moment, Chris and I stood awkwardly with one another, his grip on my hand feeling more like he had reached inside my body and ripped out my heart. I bit my lip and steeled myself against the tears that threatened, now for a completely different reason than moments before.

  “Just breathe,” he whispered as he pulled me into his arms, “I won’t bite; I promise. Even though you’d be in really good hands if you passed out, I’d rather you not.”

  I did as instructed, focusing on drawing air into my lungs instead of the very real, pleasurable sensation of his touch. Even then, my senses were heightened and every breath I took was full of his presence. I shivered as a chill ran down my spine, unable to stop myself from cluing him in as to his effect on me - even after almost a decade apart. He either didn’t notice or was smugly basking in the realization that he still meant something to me and we said nothing to one another as the song he’d broken in on ended.

  Pleased with myself, I made a motion to step away from him when another song began. See, we had behaved ourselves all night, even having a dance together before we parted ways again. Except our time together wasn’t over and we had clearly been set up.

  I recognized the next song immediately, my stomach almost dropping to the floor.

  “Certainly, you’ll dance with me to our song,” Chris said, playing along. I wondered if he’d been in on the whole thing, though I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Matthew had requested the DJ to play this one in particular, for this exact reason.

  “My brother’s a bastard,” I responded.

  Chris chuckled, gently forcing my body to obey his commands. “I believe that you have the terminology incorrect. An orphan, maybe, but not a bastard. Same as you.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  He smiled, his chocolate brown eyes captivating me. I couldn’t look away, couldn’t feel anything othe
r than like I was floating on a cloud, hovering above myself. The same giddy feeling as when he’d been merely a crush, nothing more than a fantasy to a nine year old girl.

  “You look beautiful tonight,” he continued, while I did my best to maintain my balance. As if on cue, he held me tighter, lowering my head to his shoulder. His fingers moved over my hair, instinctively wanting to play with it. However the updo and the massive amounts of hairspray needed to keep it in place hindered his actions. He had always loved the hair.

  “Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

  We danced in silence for a few lyrics. I again closed my eyes, not because I was comfortable with being there, but because I knew if I didn’t I’d spy Matthew gloating and want to flip him off. I tried not to focus on the smell of his skin, the warmth of his hands, but Chris’s presence was all consuming.

  “You did a wonderful job, Blake.”

  “Hmm?”

  “With this. I can tell your hands were all over it, even if I didn’t already know. And beyond that. You did a great job raising your big brother.”

  “I didn’t act alone,” I demurred, “on the raising Matthew part. You helped considerably.”

  “What is the saying? Something about taking a village? Ours was a village of two. Maybe you should have walked him down the aisle and given him away to Lauren. It seems kind of backwards for Doug to give Lauren to him.”

  I snorted. “I think he’s past all that now. He’s done a lot of growing up these past couple years.”

  “Maybe. Or perhaps that person was always there, it just took Lauren to bring in out in him.”

  “And meanwhile, we’ve remained stagnant?”

  “I’m not sure that we’ve remained anything. You aren’t who you were back then, either.”

  “No, definitely not.”

  “We used to be such a good team, Blake. What happened between us?”

  Well, wasn’t that the million dollar question?

  My foot slipped and my put-together demeanor turned on its side just like my ankle. When I righted myself - with more than a little assistance from Chris - he was still waiting for my answer. The song had ended and even though the revelers around us were still loud, it was like the world had stopped to hear what I would say.