Dim Sum of All Fears

by Vivien Chien

  Lou was busy at the grill when I walked into the kitchen. He was so enthralled by the shrimp he was sautéing that he almost didn’t notice me walk by. Almost.

  “Hey there, boss!” Lou bellowed from the grill, waving a metal spatula in my direction. Unlike Peter, he wore a proper chef’s hat, which he straightened as he waddled over. “How’ve you been? I feel like we haven’t worked together in a long time.” He knelt down to my height and nudged me with his elbow. “The team is back together.”

  Lou is not my favorite. There’s something about a person who is always smiling that unnerves me. Like clowns—you never know what they’re really feeling behind that painted face. I forced a tight-lipped smile in return. “Yeah, it’s been a few weeks. How’s everything going back here? Good?” I asked, inspecting the kitchen. He did a good job of keeping it clean, but not quite as immaculate as Peter.

  “Absolutely,” he said with a wide smile. “Everything is in tip-top shape.” He gave me a salute and then hustled back to the grill to tend to his shrimp.

  “Great, I’ll be in the office if you need me,” I said, and shuffled off before he could say anything else.

  I flipped the light on in my mother’s office and slid behind the desk, where I got to work knowing that I had limited time before Anna May left for class. Since I had my date with Adam tonight, I wanted to make sure everything was finished so I could leave right at five. As long as I left as scheduled, I’d have plenty of time to get ready. I still hadn’t settled on an outfit, and my nails could use a good painting.

  While I waited for the computer to boot up, I pulled out the accordion file with the sales slips from the previous evening and sorted through the receipts. I would get everything organized as best I could, and put it back in the safe. If business slowed down, I could run to the bank at some point before I went home for the night.

  Anna May popped her head into the office. “Hey, I’m getting ready to take off. The restaurant is about a third full and Nancy needs to take her lunch. Are you done in here?”

  “Just about.” I stuffed the receipts back into the accordion file and placed it back in the drawer.

  My sister watched me. “It would appear to me that you’re trying to get this done awfully fast. Are you eager to rush off tonight and do all that stuff you supposedly do?”

  “I have a date with Adam later.”

  “Ah, another date … should I be waiting on that wedding invitation, little sister?”

  “Would you stop? I wish you wouldn’t make such a big deal about this. This is weird for me after … you know.” I zipped up the deposit bag and stuffed it in the safe.

  My sister turned her gaze away from me, staring at the desk. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t make you feel so uncomfortable about this whole thing. After all, this is the first guy you’ve dated since…”

  I stood up from the safe, waiting for the next dreaded words to come out of her mouth. Just to jab me where she knew it counted. But the words never came, and for a brief second, we shared a moment of understanding. For those few seconds, we were just two sisters who, despite their constant bickering, were able to put aside their pettiness and live on the same page, rooting for each other.

  “But just promise me one thing?” Anna May said, a small smile forming on her lips.

  “What?”

  “Please consult me on wedding theme colors before you make any rash decisions.” She broke out into a wry grin. “I mean … just look at your hair.”

  Leave it to Anna May to ruin a good moment.

  * * *

  Eight o’clock was fast approaching and I had changed my outfit five times, feeling odd and less than stellar in the fashion choices I experimented with. It wasn’t my ideal outfit, but I finally settled on a sparkly silver camisole and a long dark-gray cardigan with black leggings and heeled boots. I only hoped it would work for wherever we were going. With everything going on, I’d never thought to ask.

  Megan had left for work, so it was just Kikko and me sitting on the couch with me growing more anxious by the minute. To kill some time, I paced back and forth to the bathroom, checking myself in the vanity mirror. I reapplied my lip gloss and added a silver necklace with a blue stone that matched my hair. Then I added a jade ring and a cuff bracelet. If he didn’t get here soon, I’d start digging through my earrings.

  After what seemed like an eternity, my cell phone chimed and without looking at who it was, I rushed to the door. But, when I checked the parking lot, Adam was nowhere to be found.

  The text turned out to be from Ian instead. He wanted to let me know he was calling a last-minute board meeting for Monday evening. Great, I could hardly contain myself.

  Back on the couch I went. My palms were starting to sweat. You’d think after a couple of dates, I wouldn’t be quite so nervous. But in all honesty, they weren’t exactly what I’d call the most successful of dates. Not that the dates were bad, but I could tell both of us were holding back.

  The first one was what I like to refer to as the “safe” date. You see a movie and then have dinner after, thereby giving you something to talk about while you eat. Which worked out pretty well, but there wasn’t much substance to conversations like those. After we talked about the movie, we then talked about other movies we’d seen in the recent past and how they stood up in comparison with the one we’d just seen. After that, we resorted to the “list of favorites” portion of the evening. This usually entailed talking about favorite colors, TV shows, restaurants, and maybe hobbies, if you’re so inclined.

  In case you’re wondering, his favorite color is blue, he’s addicted to The Walking Dead, and he’s a huge fan of steak houses. As far as hobbies go, he isn’t much of a sports guy, but he does enjoy a good car show here and there.

  But it was the things he wasn’t saying that I wanted to know. On the outside, he appeared to be a simple man, but I knew that behind the professional facade he maintained so well there was a complex man with a wealth of secrets. Whether those secrets were good or bad was another mystery I wanted to solve.

  The next date had been a little better. Coffee and the art museum. He’d seemed more comfortable during this second go-round, but still there was a lot of filler talk about Monet, Renoir, Degas, and who the truly best Impressionist was.

  I had high hopes I would learn more about him during our third date, but it was cut short due to him being called in to work. It turned out to be a big case, and that, of course, had kept us from having the chance to get together since. The times that he’d been available didn’t work for me and vice versa. And now here I was feeling like it was the first date all over again.

  My lucky number has always been eight, but I had my fingers crossed that it didn’t take that many dates to figure out whether he was actually interested or just killing time.

  There was a light knock at my door, and I jumped up again, the butterflies in my stomach springing to life. By the time I left the house tonight, I was going to be a nervous wreck.

  When I opened the door, Adam barreled in, flustered and flushed. Kikko bounced to action from the couch, making a beeline for Adam, her wrinkled nose plastered to his shoes.

  “Sorry I’m late,” he apologized, running a hand through his hair. “Geez, I got stuck at the gas station … the line was twelve people long, you’d think they’d get some more help around that place. All I wanted was a pack of gum.” He pulled the gum packet out of his pocket to show me it existed. “If I’d known it would take that long, I wouldn’t have bothered.”

  “No problem,” I said as I shut the door. “I didn’t even notice the time.”

  When his eyes finally settled on me, they crinkled with his smile, and the hardened lines on his face softened. “Did I mention that you look beautiful?”

  I blushed. “That might have slipped your mind.”

  He pulled me to him. “I hate being late, especially when a beautiful woman is waiting for me.”

  I batted his chest. “Really, it�
�s no big deal.”

  Kikko whined, lifting her paw up and swatting Adam’s leg.

  “What’s she doing?” Adam asked, looking down at the dog.

  “She’s going to do that until you pay attention to her.”

  He laughed to himself and knelt down to pet her. “Are you feeling left out, little one?”

  “I just have to get my coat and we can go,” I said, moving to the hall closet.

  I gave Kikko her customary “be good” treat, locked up the apartment, and we were on our way.

  The streets were clear of snow and ice, and the weather was behaving itself. Traffic wasn’t too heavy as we drove toward downtown Cleveland, and we made it to the city in less than twenty minutes.

  We turned onto the apron of East Fourth Street and he stopped the car, turning it over to a valet attendant. The sidewalk and street—which was closed off to traffic—were crammed with people bustling in and out of the bars and restaurants. Adam put an arm around my waist and guided me to the entrance of Pickwick & Frolic.

  At the podium, he told the man standing behind it that we had reservations and we were immediately whisked to an intimate two-seater table along the far wall, away from the main aisle.

  “I hope this is okay,” Adam said, peeking at me over his menu.

  “This is great,” I assured him. “The last time I was here was for a comedy show downstairs. I really wanted to try the restaurant, but we didn’t have reservations—and this place is always packed.”

  “I considered getting us tickets for the show tonight, too, but I thought this would give us more of a chance to chat.” He skimmed his menu as he talked to me.

  Okay, this was good: We were on the same page about wanting more quality date time. Most of the time Adam was ambiguous with his emotions, and I couldn’t tell if our interest in each other was on the same level.

  Our server, a curly redhead with bright-red lipstick, stopped to take our drink order and zipped off so fast I wasn’t sure she’d heard what we said.

  “So how’s that big case?” I asked.

  He raised an eyebrow. “Which case?”

  “The one that interrupted our last date.”

  “Oh, that one.” He focused back on his menu. “It’s finished.”

  I looked down at my own menu with a sigh.

  While we perused the menu, the server came back with our drinks. Adam ordered some calamari for the both of us, and the server zipped away again.

  Adam shut his menu and placed it on the table. “So how’s it been at the restaurant without your parents there? Everything running smoothly?”

  I peeked up from my menu. Fantastic, I thought, more filler talk. Both of us were starting conversations with our work. “So far, so good. I’ll be glad when they get back, though.”

  “Not much for the managerial life, huh?”

  “Not much for the restaurant life is more like it,” I replied.

  He sipped his drink. “Is there something else you’d rather be doing?”

  The server came back around, ready for our order. Adam ordered a crusted salmon something or other, and despite the pep talk I’d given myself about not ordering messy foods on dates, I went with the Cajun chicken fettuccine. What can I say? I love noodles.

  When the server left, I answered Adam’s question. “I’ve been trying to find a decent office job, and I thought I’d found one that was perfect for me. But I lost my chance. They needed someone to start right away and with my parents gone, I had to decline their offer.”

  “What was the job for?”

  “An office manager position at a metal company in Solon.”

  Adam cocked his head. “An office manager position?”

  “Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”

  The waitress dropped off the calamari and Adam scooped some onto his plate. “Nothing. It doesn’t sound like you, is all.”

  “It doesn’t?”

  “Not really,” he replied. “I picture you more as working with the public. You have that kind of face…”

  “Ah-ha!” I said, filling my own plate.

  He laughed. “Ah-ha what?”

  “I knew it. I knew I had that kind of face.” I pointed at my face. “The kind of ‘come tell me your troubles’ face.”

  He looked confused, and an inner battle began on whether I should tell him some of what was going on. If we were going to date, honesty needed to be a factor. Even if it was about things he didn’t want to hear.

  In a hurried explanation, I told him about the interactions I’d had with each of the three people.

  His jaw clenched. “I thought you promised me that you were going to stay out of it?”

  I jabbed a calamari with my fork. “I’m not the one trying to get into anything,” I reminded him. “It’s these people…” I gestured toward the window like they were standing outside.

  He shuffled the squid around on his plate. “You send them to me, and I’ll take care of it. I don’t want you in the middle of this.”

  “I’m not some fragile little girl that can’t take care of herself, you know. I did help with the Feng case.”

  His eyes bulged. “That’s your argument? You were held at gunpoint and if I hadn’t gotten your message when I did, we might not be sitting here together right now.”

  Trying to hide the cringe that thought induced, I replied as calmly as possible, “Well, it all worked out.”

  He snorted. “It all worked out? I can’t be saving your life every five minutes, Lana.”

  “Every five minutes?” I retorted. “Dramatic much?”

  “You know what I mean,” he said with a sigh. “Hey, let’s not argue about this right now, okay? Let’s just have a nice evening and enjoy each other’s company. We can always talk about this another time.”

  “Fine,” I replied, stabbing another squid with my fork.

  “Anytime a woman says ‘fine,’ she doesn’t mean it.”

  I looked up at him, studying his face. He had me there. “Okay, you’re right … on both counts. I won’t get involved, and we shouldn’t argue while we’re out. Is that better?”

  He laughed. “You’re a sassy one, Lana Lee, and I like it.”

  After dinner, we stayed for one last drink before heading home. The car ride was a tad awkward since I was still carrying a partial chip on my shoulder. I didn’t know why I was getting so defensive when I’d known exactly how he was going to react. His feelings on my getting involved were nothing new or surprising. And I couldn’t expect him to understand the responsibility I felt to find out what had really happened to Isabelle and Brandon.

  Especially since I hadn’t mentioned my meeting with Carmen and what Brandon had been up to. After the way he reacted about what I had told him, I figured it was best that I kept those details to myself.

  Okay, so the honesty wasn’t there 100 percent, but I was working up to it.

  When we got off the freeway and back to North Olmsted, thoughts about my lost job opportunity sprang up again as we passed a few office buildings. It got me thinking about the comment Adam had made earlier in the night about me and my job choices. Cindy from the bookstore had made similar statements. I wondered what made both of them feel that I was making a mistake in my job quest.

  “Adam…”

  “Hmm?”

  “How did you know you wanted to be a cop?” I asked.

  Silence.

  I went on. “Earlier you said that I didn’t seem like the office type. But how do you know what type you are? Did you always know that you wanted to be a cop?”

  He stared straight ahead, and I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me or was purposely ignoring my question.

  When we stopped at a light, he turned to me with a grave expression on his face. “It’s a long story…”

  “Well, what better time to tell a story than on a date?” I asked.

  The light turned green and we were moving again, but not talking. I made a mental note that this wasn’t the first time he’d avoided tel
ling me why he’d become a cop. I didn’t know if that actually meant anything or I was trying to read into something that wasn’t there. Not that I did that sort of thing … ever.

  We pulled into my apartment complex in silence. Adam turned into the parking lot and put the car in park. We sat staring ahead at the apartment building. The quiet was suffocating and I urged him with my thoughts to say something. Anything.

  I sneaked a peek at him from the corner of my eye. “Do you want to come in?” I whispered, feeling unsure of myself.

  He let out a long sigh. “I should be getting home.”

  “Okay,” I said, trying to hide my disappointment.

  He leaned over and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ll stop by the restaurant for lunch sometime next week.”

  I nodded without saying a word and got out of the car. Instead of turning around to wave goodbye, I watched the lights beaming off the apartment building slowly fade as he backed out. At this point, I wasn’t so sure we’d make it long enough to see a date number eight.

  CHAPTER

  20

  I woke up the next morning discouraged from my night with Adam. With Anna May running the show at the restaurant, and fully covered shifts, I opted to hibernate.

  I stayed in bed until well past ten, and just contemplated. I thought about how my previous night’s date hadn’t gone as well as I’d hoped, how the solving of Brandon and Isabelle’s murder was going nowhere except for in circles, and my current life situation, in general.

  Maybe Megan was right. Maybe I was going through some sort of quarter-life crisis. And that irritated me. Was it really fair that we had to have one of those, too? I mean, first you go through puberty, and that’s a hot mess. You break out, become somewhat awkward looking, and get stuck with all kinds of weird emotions and bodily changes that you have zero control over. Then you mellow out for a little while, the world seems like it has gone back to normal and growth has just become a normal part of life. But now we’re throwing in this supposed quarter-life crisis deal, too? How much time do we get to actually be normal human beings?

  As my thoughts spiraled more and more into that shadowy abyss of panic, I must have stirred Kikko. She popped her head out of the blanket and waddled up to me, plopping down in front of my face. In one movement, she rolled onto her back and put her paws in the air—the universal signal for a belly rub.