Remembrance

by Danielle Steel

  But Teddy was always honest with him. “I don't think Greg knows what he's doing, Brad. Or maybe he doesn't want to know, which is even worse.”

  “Are you suggesting that someone stop this thing? Now?” Brad looked upset as he asked.

  “I don't know. Mother's sure as hell not going to do it. Greg is rapidly becoming her great white hope. Ever since you've decided to become a professional soldier”—he looked disparagingly at his brother, but Brad only grinned—”and it's obvious that I'll never play the family game, it looks like Greg is it.”

  “Poor kid.” For a moment Brad didn't say more, and then the customs officials arrived to check through their trunks and look at their passports. He asked for Teddy's as well, but Teddy quickly pulled out a special pass. One of his father's political friends had got it for him from the mayor of New York, and it allowed him to meet friends at ships, and not have to wait until they cleared customs. It was convenient at times like this, but the customs man felt patronized by Teddy's inadvertent show of rank.

  “Special privileges, eh?”

  Teddy looked mildly embarrassed. “Just this once. My brother hasn't been home since the war.” He waved at Brad, and the customs man's face immediately softened.

  “Coming home on the Liberté, son? Not a bad way to travel.”

  “Not at all. We managed to turn it into a honeymoon.”

  “Your wife go over to meet you?” He had only checked the luggage. His partner had handled the passports and seen that Serena was Italian, but this man had no way of knowing. She hadn't said a word.

  “No.” Brad looked down at her proudly. “I met my wife over there. In Rome.”

  “Italian?” The customs man's eyes narrowed as he looked her over, in all her perfect ivory and golden beauty, the gardenias on her lapel, and the sun glinting on her hair, as he stood in his grayed uniform with spots on the tie and dirt under his nails.

  “Yes, my wife is Italian. From Rome.” Brad repeated with a smile, as the other man began to glare.

  “Plenty of girls in this country to marry, sonny. Or didn't you remember? Christ, some of you young guys got over there and forgot what was back home.” He glared at all three of them, and then hurried away to inspect someone else's bags. There was an angry light in Brad's eyes and blind fury in Teddy's, but Serena put a hand on each of their arms and shook her head.

  “Don't. It doesn't matter. He's just an angry old man. Maybe someone jilted his daughter.”

  “Maybe someone ought to smash his face.” Teddy was quick to volunteer but Brad looked as though he would have liked to help him.

  “Never mind. Let's go home.” The two men exchanged a look, Brad sighed slowly and then nodded.

  “Okay, princess, you win.” But he looked at her almost sadly. “This time.” And then he bent to kiss her. “I don't ever want anyone saying things like that around you again.”

  “But they will.” It was only a whisper. “Maybe it'll take time.”

  “Bull,” Teddy spoke and she laughed at him then, and they hailed a porter and began the final leg home.

  19

  Teddy had left his parents' chauffeur waiting patiently outside the pier area in the midnight-blue Cadillac limousine his father had bought for his wife's use the previous Christmas. But most of the time Margaret Fullerton still preferred driving her own car, a handsome bottle-green convertible Lincoln Zephyr, which she drove almost every day. To her sons' delight however, that left the Cadillac and the elderly chauffeur free for their use, and Greg made free use of the car, except when Teddy beat him to it, as he had today. His mother had had a meeting of the Board of the American Red Cross, final details to attend to for the rehearsal dinner the next day, and a luncheon with another board she was on, all of which had kept her from meeting Brad and Serena at the ship. And Greg had had an important meeting downtown with his father, which had left only Teddy to meet B.J. and his bride, in the elegant midnight-blue car.

  “My, my, is this new?”

  “Yup. A Christmas present from Pop.”

  “For you?” Brad looked stunned.

  “Hell no.” Teddy grinned. “For Mother.”

  “Oh, well. That figures. Get to use it much or only for state occasions?”

  “Only when Greg's not around.”

  “That figures too.”

  But before they could say more, the old chauffeur had got out of the car and was hurrying toward them. He pulled off his cap, and a smile lit up his face from ear to ear. He had worked for the Fullertons since Brad had been a little boy.

  “Hi, Jimmie!” B.J. clapped him on the shoulder and the old man chortled with delight and hugged him.

  “You look good, boy. Good to see you back!”

  “It's good to be back.” There was genuine pleasure between the two men. “Jimmie, I'd like you to meet my wife.” He turned to Serena with obvious pride and the old man almost dropped his jaw when he saw the blond beauty.

  “Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Fullerton.” He mustered it almost shyly, and she shook his hand warmly, with her gentle smile that extended deep into the emerald eyes.

  “Brad has told me a great deal about you.”

  “Has he?” Jimmie looked immensely pleased. “Welcome to America.” He narrowed his eyes. “You speak very good English. Have you been here before?”

  She nodded. “I was here during the war. In Upstate New York.”

  “That's a good thing.” Jimmie smiled warmly.

  Serena gave him an answering smile and he waved them all inside the car. “I'll take care of this mess. You kids relax.” But only Teddy and Serena got inside the car, and Brad stayed out to help his old buddy sort through their assorted trunks and belongings.

  Inside, Teddy still seemed unable to take his eyes off Serena. “How was the trip over?” He wasn't quite sure where to begin, and it was so odd being alone with her. He just wanted to reach out and touch her, but it was different now with Brad not there with him. He wanted to touch the creamy skin, the extraordinary golden hair, and then suddenly he felt a mad urge to kiss her, but not as a brother, or even as a friend. As the thought crossed his mind he flushed deeply and a thin veil of perspiration broke out on his forehead.

  “Are you all right?” Serena was looking at him strangely. “Are you ill?”

  “No … I… I'm sorry … I don't know … I just… I think it's just excitement. Seeing Brad back, meeting you, Greg getting married, graduating last week.” He wiped his brow with a white linen handkerchief and sat back beside her. “Now, where were we?” But all he could think of was that face, those eyes. It was almost as though they bore through him. He had never seen a woman as lovely as this.

  But Serena was looking at him gently, her face riveted with concern and unspoken understanding. “Please …” She faltered for only a moment. “You're upset about me, aren't you? Is it so great a shock? Am I so different really?” She sounded almost consumed with distress and guilt.

  But Teddy nodded slowly. “Yes, you are. But not in the way you think. Serena,” he sighed and reached for her hand. What the hell. Brad wouldn't kill him. “You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and if you weren't my brother's wife, I'd ask you to marry me right this minute!” For a moment she thought he was joking, and then she saw something almost heartbreaking in his eyes. Her own eyes widened in surprise as she looked at him.

  “Making time with my wife, little brother?” B.J. opened the door of the elegant limousine and hopped inside with a casual look of unconcern which belied the faint tremor he had felt while he busied himself outside. Teddy had always been the best-looking of the brothers, and he was certainly more her age, but that was crazy thinking and he knew it. Serena was his wife, she loved him, and she was having his child.

  But Teddy only laughed and shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair. “I think you just saved me from making a total ass of myself, Brad.”

  “Want me to get out so you can try again?”

  “No!” Teddy and Serena
said it in unison, and with that they looked at each other, and both of them began to laugh, like hysterical children, and the uncomfortable moment was broken. They laughed half the way home, suddenly began teasing each other and Brad, and the friendship began in earnest that morning.

  Teddy gave them a brief rundown of what the wedding would be like, what was expected of them, and who was coming to the rehearsal dinner. Brad already knew that he was going to be the best man, and Teddy was an usher. In addition there were to be ten other ushers, eleven bridesmaids and a maid of honor, two children as ring bearer and flower girl, and the ceremony was to be at St. James Church on Madison Avenue, with an enormous reception at the Plaza Hotel, immediately thereafter. It was expected to be a grandiose affair and the Athertons were spending a fortune.

  The rehearsal dinner, on the other hand, was being given at their father's club, the Knickerbocker, and there were to be a mere forty-five guests, in black tie, for a formal dinner.

  “Oh, Christ.” Brad groaned aloud. “When's that again?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “And tonight? Can we have some time to ourselves, or do we have to perform some other tribal dance with the whole troupe?”

  “Mother's planning a small family dinner. Just Mother and Dad, Greg and I, and of course Pattie.” A flicker of worry showed in Teddy's eyes.

  “That ought to be cozy.” The last time Pattie had seen Serena she had called her a whore, and he had broken their engagement, and not even a year had gone by since then.

  A moment later they pulled up in front of the awning of their building, and the doorman rushed forward to open the door, as Jimmie stepped out to take over.

  “Is Mother upstairs?” Brad wanted the meeting over with. His eyes bored into Teddy's, as if trying to take support and energy from his younger brother to help protect and buffer his wife.

  “Not yet. She won't be home till three. We'll have the place to ourselves, while Serena gets acquainted.” It was a kind of blessing. Serena meekly followed her husband and brother-in-law inside, into a richly paneled, tapestry-hung lobby, with high ceilings and marble floors, immense plants, and a chandelier worthy of Versailles twinkling down at them.

  Brad and Ted whisked her into the elevator and up to the top floor, where the hallway led to a single apartment, the penthouse overlooking Central Park, where all three boys had grown up, and which sent a little shiver of excitement down Brad's spine now as Teddy unlocked the door and stood aside for them to enter. Two maids in black uniforms with lace aprons and caps were frantically dusting the main hallway. It was paneled in extraordinarily beautiful Japanese screens, the floors were a harlequin black and white marble, and here again was a beautiful chandelier, but this one much more so than the one in the lobby. It was a Waterford piece, over two hundred years old, and a work of art in itself, which matched the elaborate sconces along the walls. The whole entrance reminded Serena of a brilliantly lit ballroom. The maids were quick to welcome Brad home, and they went off to report to the cook that he was back, and he promised to go out to the kitchen to see her in a minute. But first he wanted to show Serena the apartment where he had grown up.

  In its own way it reminded her of the palazzo. It was smaller of course, and it was after all an apartment, yet it had a grandiose quality to it more typical of a house, and the way it was decorated looked not unlike the assorted homes in which she had grown up. There were delicately shaded Aubusson rugs, damask drapes, and rich brocades, a grand piano in the library, as well as three walls of rare books, and in the dining room there was an impressive collection of family portraits. The living room was subtle and lovely and very French. There were two Renoirs and a Monet, a great deal of Louis XV, rivers of white silk and gray damask, accented with a little dusty rose, and vast quantities of gilt and marble. It was certainly not a “little apartment” by anyone's standards, and its main virtue in Serena's mind was that it gave her the impression she had already seen it before. It was just like all the palazzi she had known as a child. It was in better condition, and there were some very fine things, some even lovelier than what she had seen in Venice, and yet it had that familiar ring that one finds in Paris and London and New York and Rome, Munich or Barcelona or Lisbon or Madrid, the look of a vastly expensive home filled with priceless things, the rich gilts of Louis XV, the needlepoint scenes of Aubusson, the shapes and the colors and the smells that all looked so familiar. It was almost as though she wanted to sigh in relief and say, “It's all right, I've already been here.” Teddy had noticed the look of relief on her face and immediately teased her.

  “What did you expect? Lions and tigers and a woman with a whip and a chair?”

  But Serena laughed at him. “Not quite, but …” There was teasing in her face as well.

  “Close, huh? Well, you're in luck. We only feed the Christians to the lions on Tuesday. You're two days late.”

  “It's a beautiful place.”

  Brad was looking around him as though seeing it for the first time, and he smiled at them both. “You know, I'd forgotten how nice it all is.” It had been ten months since he'd been home on leave, and that had been so hectic mat he'd never noticed his home the whole time he was there.

  “Welcome home, Big Brother.”

  “Thanks, kid.” He squeezed his younger brother's shoulder, and put an arm gently around his wife. “You all right, sweetheart? Not too tired?” Just the way he said it warned Teddy of something.

  “Something wrong?” He looked at them both worriedly and Brad shook his head with a smile, but there was a look in his eyes that Teddy had never seen there before, a look of tenderness and pride and excitement. “What's up? Or am I being nosy?”

  “I guess not. I wanted to tell everyone tonight. But I'd like to tell you first.” He had a right now to hear this first. B.J. reached for Serena's hand and smiled at Teddy. “We're having a baby.”

  “Already?” Teddy looked stunned. “When?”

  “Not for another six months, or six and a half, to be exact.” Brad looked teasing. “It's decent. We've been married for six months now.”

  “I didn't mean that.” Teddy looked embarrassed and then glanced at Serena. “It just seems so soon.”

  “It is soon, and I'm glad. I'm not as young as you are. I don't want to waste any time, and Serena's happy too.” He beamed at her again and Teddy smiled as he watched them.

  “I think I'm sick with jealousy, but the weird thing is, you know, I'm not even sure I mind.”

  B.J. laughed at the candor of his younger brother and all three of them chuckled together. Something very odd had happened between the three of them that day. A new bond had formed between two people who had already loved each other all of their lives and they had managed to include in it a whole other person. It was as though the three of them stood within a magic circle, and they knew it.

  “Boy, I'm gonna be an uncle!” He began to whoop, Serena laughed, and B.J. tried futilely to get him to quiet down.

  “Don't tell the whole household yet, for chrissake. I want to tell Mother first. Think she's ready to be a grandmother yet, Teddy?”

  There was a long silence as the two brothers exchanged a pointed glance. “I'm not sure.”

  Only Serena had said nothing in the past few minutes, since they had begun to talk about the baby. “Are you feeling all right, Serena?” Now suddenly Teddy shared B.J.'s concern, and she laughed at them both.

  “Yes, I'm fine. Perfect. Terrific.”

  “That's good,” and then with another mischievous dimpled grin, “Too bad you can't wait two years to have it, I might be able to deliver the baby.”

  “That's a thrill we can live without,” Brad filled in quickly. “But at least you'll be out there to share the big moment with us.” It pleased Brad to know that his little brother would be living in San Francisco too, or very near it. For four years he was going to Stanford University Medical School, and he hoped that they would see a lot of each other. He told him so now, and Teddy nodded his head
emphatically.

  “Especially now. I want to come and see my nephew.”

  “Nope.” Brad looked strangely firm.

  “Nope?” It was Teddy's turn to look surprised. “I can't see him?”

  “You can see her. It's a niece.”

  “A niece? You want a girl?” He looked shocked. “That's unnatural! Aren't men in our family supposed to be all worked up about continuing the name?”

  “Yup, and I'm going to have a daughter and she's going to marry a guy named Obadiah Farthingblitz and I'm going to be happy as hell for her at her wedding.”

  “You're nuts. In fact”—he looked from one to the other—”I suspect that you both are. Which may be your salvation. You know, I think we're going to have some damn fine times in California, guys.”

  “Will you come and see us often, Teddy?” Serena looked at him warmly.

  “As often as you'll let me. I'll be out in September for med school. Meanwhile I'm going to Newport this summer to do whatever damage I can do there. I'm stopping in Chicago on the way out, and I should reach you by the last week in August. I'll come and stay.” He said it with the assurance of family, and Brad laughed.

  With that, the three of them swept into the kitchen, greeted the cook, stole some cookies, tasted some asparagus, sniffed at a mysterious stock that Brad swore smelled like turkey, and moments later they departed and took refuge in Brad's old study. It now belonged to Teddy, and they reminisced as they ate narrow little watercress sandwiches on delicate white bread and drank lemonade. It was a pleasant way to while away the afternoon, waiting for the rest of the family to return, and shortly after lunch Serena fell asleep on the couch. Both men were happy she slept, tense as both knew the next hours would be for everyone. Something had already told Brad, now that he was back on home turf, that none of it was going to be easy. Before he had come back to this house, he had been able to vacillate about what he thought would happen, how his mother would behave. He had tried to play a game with himself that he could no longer play here. His mother's very strength made itself felt so clearly in this house that it was impossible to delude oneself about her for a moment. This was not going to be easy in any way. What Margaret Fullerton had wanted Brad to bring home as his wife was a girl like the thousands of debutantes he had met over the years, a girl more or less like Pattie Atherton, she didn't want a principessa from Rome as her daughter-in-law. She didn't give a damn about that. She wanted the daughter of one of her friends at the Colony Club, someone who went to the same places they did, knew the same people, did the same things. And there was one undeniable thing about Serena that Brad knew would never sit well with his mother: Serena was totally different. It was what he loved about her, what had already captivated Teddy in only a few hours. She was not an ordinary sort of girl in any way. She was extraordinary in every possible way. She was spectacular, beautiful, smart as hell, but she wouldn't fit into the New York, Stork Club, 21, Colony Club mold. And more than ever, as he looked at his peacefully sleeping aristocratic Italian bride, Brad realized to his very gut that there was going to be trouble.