UnBreak This Heart

by Dawn Martens

  I don’t respond, because seriously, she’s a grown ass woman; she should have known what would happen.

  Brother. I have a fuckin’ brother. And my bitch of a wife kept that shit from me? Fuck them both! I don’t understand why the fuck she wouldn’t tell me. It just keeps eating at me that she knew all this time and didn’t tell me. I leave the club and go ride for a bit, trying to get rid of my anger. Once I’m calm enough, I hunt Hilary down. I end up going back to the hotel she’s been staying at. Now that I know where she is, I don’t get why she won’t move back in with Lilly.

  I pound on the door, and when she opens it, she’s in shock, and I can tell she’s been crying. I push her in and shut the door behind me.

  “Tell me right the fuck now, why didn’t you tell me,” I growl at her.

  She hangs her head in shame. “At first, it was because of my mom. The divorce already brought enough shame to my father. And then once I started hanging around with Trent, my father got in my face about it, threatened to tell you that Lilly and I knew about Eden. I didn’t want to destroy Lilly’s relationship, and I didn’t want Eden’s secret out,” she says quietly.

  I clench my jaw. All of this was because of Eden. It all goes back to fuckin’ her. How could she have been so fuckin’ selfish to do this to us all?

  “I get it,” I say gruffly. I do- they’re best friends. Those three have always stuck together over everything. I shouldn’t be surprised, but not when it ruins relationships and fuckin’ marriages.

  “I’m sorry, Mason,” Hilary says, quietly crying.

  “I’m sick of fighting, Hilary.” I grab her and bring her in for a kiss. Her tears subside, and she looks at me with hungry eyes. Her hands go around my neck, and I tilt my head, going in for another kiss. Her soft lips move against mine, and her tongue darts out, licking mine.

  Laying her on the bed, I decide tonight needs to be different. Maybe it can be a new start for us. It doesn’t take much to get her naked and writhing beneath me. A few kisses and she was a goner.

  I take my time, worshiping every inch of her body—showing her how much I love her. Her body trembles and shakes as I inch inside her. She still has tears threatening to run from her eyes. I lean down and bring my mouth to hers.

  “Hilary, what’s it going to take? Can’t you feel the connection we still share? Stop fighting it.” She nods, and I roll onto my back. She straddles my hips and slides down on my cock. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of being with. She rides me slowly, and I never want this sweet torture to end. I can be a good man; she just has to give me the chance to show her. I squeeze her firm ass as she grinds down on me. When she smiles at me, she makes me feel like we really have a shot to make things work.

  I roll her over and take her from behind. She has always loved it when I pull on her hair and smack her ass. Pulling her head back by her hair, I kiss her with all I have as I come inside that sweet pussy.

  I’m lying in bed with Mason, my head on his chest as his fingers run along my arm. I have so many thoughts right now, but my biggest thought is why is it we keep doing this to each other. So much has happened between us. I gave in tonight because I needed to be with him one last time. This was my goodbye. I’m going to let him go, and he has to let me go too.

  “We can’t do this, Mason,” I say quietly.

  His body goes solid. “What?” he says loudly. I knew he would be hurt and angry. It was wrong of me to sleep with him knowing he wants more- so much more than I can allow myself to give him.

  “We’re not good for each other. All the lies, secrets, and cheating...” I can’t go back to being that girl, the one who ignored the fact that her husband killed people. I can’t be the girl that lets him put his hands on her and tells herself he doesn’t mean it—that it wasn’t him. Because it was him. I just didn’t want to see that part of him. The woman that girl has grown to be can’t accept that side of him. I’m stronger than the girl I once was. I’m strong enough to really let him go.

  “I’ve loved you since I was ten years old, and that love has never fuckin’ stopped,” Mason says while moving me off of him and looking down at me. He’s now the one with a tear in his eye. I know he loves me, but loving someone doesn’t mean everything’s okay and that things will be fine. Sometimes, real love means loving someone enough to let them go.

  I shake my head. “We should have known this wouldn’t last. Look around you, Mason. Every relationship that started in high school has crumbled. No one is together anymore. It’s a sign,” I tell him, trying to get him to understand. I think of Lilly and Edie—none of us are happy. All of us are miserable and trying to make our pasts fit in with our futures.

  He shakes his head. “No. I’m not giving you up.”

  I look to the side as a tear falls. “You don’t have a choice, Mason,” I say, whispering.

  “I’m not giving up on us,” he says forcefully, shaking me slightly. I close my eyes because I’m unable to look at him. I’m afraid that if I do I’ll break.

  I say nothing in response. I love him, I do, but with losing our child, the abuse, his cheating, and my lies, I just don’t know how we can be happy with all that between us.

  He notices I’m not going to say anything more, and he angrily gets dressed. “I love you, Hilary, and if you get over the fucked up shit in our past and in your head, I’ll be here, waiting for you,” he says before he slams the hotel room shut.

  *~*

  It’s been a crazy few months. Vinny got another woman pregnant. Lilly had Elizabeth. And now, here I am, leaving the hospital after a visit with Lilly. Her depression is nasty; I can’t believe she tried to kill herself- all because of that dick, Vinny.

  Mason’s backed off. I think he finally gets it. I don’t hate him, but I can’t be around him right now. He’ll just try to tell me how we’re meant to be, and I’m not having that. I’m headed home to watch Elizabeth for a bit to give Vinny a break. He has been so great, even though he is an asswipe. At least Ann has the baby and I don’t have to see Vinny, because I may throttle him. I swing by Momma B’s bakery to grab some donuts to take in to work with me tomorrow. Trent’s at the counter with Breaks. He gives me a small squeeze and asks me to join them, but I explain to him that I’m picking up Lilly’s daughter. Breaks smiles at me weakly. I know shit has got to be awkward with him dating Kayla and all.

  After picking up Elizabeth from Ann, I get her home and settled for the evening, I hope. She has other plans, though. Just when I think I’m going to sit down and relax, she starts to cry. I think she’s just spoiled and always wants to be held. But with one look at her sweet face, I can’t deny her. Who could look at her cuteness and not want to stop those tears?

  Cradling her against my chest, I begin to sway. She seems to like it. I go over and turn on some soft music and hum to her. She stops crying, and we end up in front of the window. My eyes meet with Mason’s; he’s outside with Vinny. A pain stabs in my chest as the thought hits me that this is what it could have been like had we had a child—if I hadn’t lost our baby. I would be in our home taking care of our child, and he would roll up on his motorcycle looking sexy as sin. He would smile at the sight of his girls, and I would wave at him, happy to have him home. Then the three of us would curl up on the couch together. I look down at Elizabeth, almost wishing it were so and she were mine.

  I got news that Lilly tried to kill herself and was admitted into the hospital. I can’t believe that shit. I blame Zippo, the fucker. I spot him sitting on his bike outside of Lilly’s house when I pull up. Looking up at the house, I notice Hilary in the front window dancing with Elizabeth.

  Fuck, she looks good with a kid in her arms. I can’t help but wonder, if she hadn’t lost the baby if this could be our life—me rolling up and seeing her with our daughter or son waiting for me. Shit fuckin’ hurts, thinking of how cold I was to her when she lost our child. I try to shake the past from my mind, but it’s hard. Memories of what I did haunt me daily. I wa
s a lousy husband in that respect.

  “Man,” I say with a nod when Zippo looks over.

  “Hey,” he says quietly, looking so worn out.

  “How you gonna fix shit, bro?” I ask him.

  “Fucks me.”

  I sigh and rub a hand over my face. “You ready to ride out? Have a court case in Devon this week that we need to see through.”

  “Yeah,” he says gently and starts up his bike.

  I take another glance toward the house, but Hilary’s no longer in the window. I ride off with Zippo behind me.

  We get to the hotel we’re crashing at, and I pull out the file and go over the case with Vinny to refresh his mind. I know the motherfucker has been dealing with a lot. He was dealt a shit hand, but he didn’t help the situation. Dumbass could have learned from the rest of us that secrets always come out and destroy everything.

  I look over at him, always wearing that damn beanie. “When in the fuck are you going to retire that damn thing? You even got any hair left under there.” I kick his boot, teasing him as he digs into the pizza we ordered.

  “Fuck you. This damn beanie has held up during all of my rough days.”

  “I just realized that damn thing is the only thing you have managed to keep a hold of.”

  He takes a piece of sausage from his slice and flings it at me. It goes flying halfway across the room, missing me completely. “How in the hell did you manage to get your spunk in two women? You can’t aim for shit!” I laugh at him, but then I feel like shit. That was harsh of me, but what can I say- I’m a fucking asshole.

  “Like you have room to talk, dickhead,” he snarls at me.

  ”Yeah, I know, but fuck, that shit is funny. You goin’ out this weekend with Jasper and me? We sure could use a night off.”

  “Hell yeah, it’ll be nice just to have a night out- no kids, no baby mama dramas.” He laughs.

  *~*

  Our night out was total shit. The girls seemed to have had the same idea. The three of them ended up at the same club as us, all of them looking too fuckin’ good to be out. Goddamn Hilary was dancing with another man just to piss me off. Then Eden just had to go and get Jasper fuckin’ pissed. We ended up cutting out early and getting’ drunk at the clubhouse.

  Our night out was crap. Eden had a total breakdown, singing that stupid song to Jasper. All the guys were there, and I sure felt like shit by rubbing Mason’s face in me dancing with another man. I get to my hotel room half drunk and collapse on my bed.

  I don’t know how long I was out when my phone starts ringing nonstop. Stumbling around to dig it out of my purse, I slide it to answer. “Hello?” I answer, slurring.

  “Yeah, uh, Hilary, it’s Roni. Kayla’s dead,” I hear said. .

  It sobers me instantly. “What’s going on?”

  “I know she’s not anyone’s favorite person right now, neither am I, but she’s dead. I went over for a visit, found her in her house. Breaks just informed me that you had done up her Will?”

  “Yeah,” I say while letting out a breath.

  “He also mentioned that she wanted Lilly to be Rose’s guardian? Well, you need to get over to Lilly’s house. She needs to know. I dropped Rose off about an hour or so ago.”

  Lilly’s going to freak out. I can’t believe someone could do such a thing. I end up making about a million different calls- to the guys, my mom, and eventually to Officer Thrane. He verified what was going on. I have to run by work and get the letter that Kayla wrote for Lilly. Kayla wanted Rose to be left under her care if anything were to ever happen to her. When she had the papers drawn up, I honestly never expected to put them to use.

  I’m in shock the whole drive over to Lilly’s house. I’m not sure how in the hell she is going to take to this news. She’s been doing okay after her incident, but I’m not sure if she’s prepared to take on another baby right now, especially after everything she has said about Kayla and the whole situation. I really hope this doesn’t set her back, but then again, it may be the push she needs to accept Vinny’s other daughter and either move on or take his sorry ass back.

  I dial Lilly to make sure she’s awake as I’m pulling up in the driveway, nervous with the news I’m about to share with her.

  Lilly surprises me; she is being really calm and level-headed about it all. I know Kayla wasn’t her favorite person, but she didn’t wish this shit on her. And as much as I think Vinny’s a total loser, I feel so bad for him.

  Tonight couldn’t have gone any worse. Seriously, first we were tricked by Roni of all people. Then we find out Breaks is a fuckin’ tool, and that he’s trying to ruin the club. What do they think they will accomplish by taking us, though? We aren’t with Mason, Jasper, or Vinny anymore.

  Now we learn Momma B is part of this shit. I don’t understand how Momma B could do this. Why would she do this to us? Money? I just don’t get it.

  “What’s going on?” I demand once Momma B comes out of the cabin. I need to understand.

  “Now, Hilary, is that any way to speak to me? I’m the only person keeping you three alive right now,” she tells us with a menacing grin.

  “What are you doing?” Eden asks. Lilly looks ready to piss her pants. Did they kill Kayla, I wonder, honestly feeling scared for our lives.

  “Club takeover, of course. Victor wants things back,” she tells us with a shrug. “And I’m helping my man get that.”

  “Victor?” I ask, confused. I thought that old nasty bastard that called himself Jasper’s dad was dead.

  “Yes,” she says with a laugh. “Did you all really believe he was dead? Breaks here was working in the prison he was transferred to at that time. With a dead body and some paperwork, we were able to get him out. Took a while, but here we are.” She throws her hands out, looking proud.

  She turns to look at Roni. “You’ve done your end, so you get to stay alive. Now run along, and fast, before I change my mind,” she says.

  Roni runs as fast as she can through the woods and out of sight.

  “We have another working with us, but of course, he doesn’t give a shit about the club. He just wants revenge,” Momma B says. “You can come out now,” she announces. I’m scared to see who else has betrayed us all.

  The door to the cabin opens, and out walks Trent. “Trent?” I whisper, not believing my eyes. It chills me to the bone just seeing the resemblance he has to our father—same dark hair and angular nose.

  “Hey, sis. Surprise!” he says with a smirk. He shoves his hands in his pockets and walks over to me as his boots crunch on the ground, effectively stomping on my heart with every step he takes.

  “Why are you doing this? To me?” I ask, shocked that he’s had any part in this. I never would have suspected him—my own brother. How could he? Why would he? I thought we had come to terms with our father when I first talked to him about it all those years ago. He never gave any indication of harboring such hate.

  His head tips to the side. “I want revenge against Reaper, of course. That asshole killed my mother. She was a shitty mother, but she was good to me when she wasn’t high or fucking around. He took her from me. He deserves to die, and I’ll see to it that it happens.” I knew his mother was dead; I read the papers, and he told me about it. She ended up married to the head of some drug cartel and got dead for it, but I can’t believe Mason did this.

  “But he’s your brother,” I say desperately.

  He snorts. “He’s no brother of mine.” He grabs a hold of my bound hands and shoves me roughly. “Get inside,” he barks.

  Fuckin’ hell. I can’t believe someone murdered Kayla. Police don’t have shit on the case either. Right now, all they have is a dead end. Fingers are pointed at Vinny, people sayin’ his relationship with her ruined his life with Lilly. But anyone that knows Vinny knows he doesn’t have a violent bone in his body. Dumbass might have a mouth on him, and when push comes to shove, he’ll throw down, but murder? No fuckin’ way. Dude doesn’t have it in him.

  He is so freaked
and stressed right now, but thank fuck he has Lilly. She’s stepped in and is taking care of Rose right along with the daughter they share. Really surprised us, since Lilly was so dead set against having the two kids even get near each other, but I know she loves Vinny. She’ll do anything for him. I’m glad she got her shit together after the depression shit. Jasper and I really don’t know what to do for him other than look for answers. Breaks says he’s doing everything he can, but he isn’t allowed anywhere near the case, since Kayla was his girlfriend. Don’t know how that motherfucker is staying so calm about shit.

  Jasper and I have been talking. This shit with Kayla could be an attack on our club, but we don’t want to say anything to scare any of the girls. I know we are all thinking that any one of them could be next, though. It’s kind of hard to protect them with the way shit lies between us all, and as crazy as it sounds and after how hard Jasper’s worked to turn shit around, you never know who in the fuck you can ever really trust.

  I roll over in the dark room, trying to see what’s around me. “Eden? Lilly?” I call out quietly

  “Here,” I hear called out from somewhere in the room.

  I hear movement and feel a body connecting with mine. “Hilary,” Lilly breathes.

  “Oh, thank God! Are you okay?” I ask her.

  “Yeah, I am, but I don’t know where Eden is,” she says, worried.

  “Eden?” I say a little louder.

  “Please, God, please let her be okay,” Lilly says, crying from beside me.

  “Just when I thought maybe that Roni bitch was changing, she went and did this shit,” I grumble. “I swear to God, if Eden’s hurt and we get out of here alive, I’m beating the bitch with my pumps.”

  Lilly chuckles slightly. “Leave it to you to find some humor in a horrible situation.”