Shape of My Heart

by LuAnn McLane

  Jimmy gave Maggie a tender kiss on the neck and then walked over and sat down across from her. “Maggie, I don’t know what to tell you.”

  “I’m sorry, this isn’t fair of me to ask you to weigh in on.” She dabbed at the sides of her mouth with a napkin and then blew out a sigh. “You asked me to be your girlfriend. We had an amazing night,” she added with a little dip of her head, “you fix a delicious breakfast, and then I ask you if I should leave town.” She sighed. “I warned you that I’m a piece of work.”

  “Hey now.” Jimmy shook his head. “You’re not a so-called piece of work. Unpredictable? Yes. Multifaceted? Definitely. But that’s part of your charm,” he said, and meant it.

  “I think you’re just being nice.”

  “I’m being honest.”

  Maggie picked up her fork and cut off a bite of her omelet. She chewed thoughtfully and then reached for her orange juice. After taking a sip, she said, “I had everything in my career strategically planned, from how I would pay my college loans back to how many books I would write in a year.”

  “You travel all over when you do speaking engagements and conferences, don’t you?”

  “And see the insides of hotels.” She pulled a face.

  “Hey, I get it. Heartbeat traveled all over the world. And because the concerts were packed so close together, we saw very little of wherever we traveled unless you counted looking outside a bus window. I’d like to change that,” he said, and gave her a meaningful look. He could imagine walking hand in hand with her in the streets of Paris or London. “How about you?”

  “I don’t know.” She looked over at him with stormy eyes.

  “I’m sorry if I’m upsetting you.”

  Maggie frowned. “You’re not upsetting me. I’m just wondering if I’ve been selfish.”

  “You?” Jimmy leaned forward. “Selfish? From what I understand, you work hard, travel tirelessly, and pour your heart into what you do, which, uh, just happens to be inspiring, helping, and encouraging young women to thrive. I’m not connecting the dots.”

  “Maybe because this conversation took an odd turn, led by me.” Maggie inhaled a deep breath. “I think it was waking up to the familiar childhood aroma that teased me from slumber. And feeling …” she began, and then stopped, shaking her head. She picked up her coffee mug and Jimmy knew she wanted to hide her realization: feeling loved. Safe? Maybe she couldn’t put into words what she was feeling, but the truth lingered in the depths of her eyes. Was she also considering fleeing to Cleveland to avoid getting serious with him? Maggie was both easy and hard to read.

  “Exasperating, aren’t I?”

  “Why would you say that?”

  Maggie put her coffee mug down. “Because you’re frowning really hard.”

  “I’m the quiet, sensitive Heart brother. It’s my job to frown,” he said, but then slid a smile across the table at her. “I frown at Jesse all the time.”

  “I don’t want to make you frown.”

  Jimmy pointed to his mouth. “Smile then.” He reached over and took her hand. “I know what’s going on here.”

  “Really?” Maggie tilted her head. “Enlighten me.”

  “You’re feeling guilty.”

  “For moving? For being selfish?”

  “For being happy, Maggie. When you said you hadn’t done much exploring or tried to find a social outlet, I thought you might just be shy. And you can be sometimes. I know what’s going on because I went through the same thing after my dad died, but especially after my mom did—I felt guilty for laughing, for being happy. You have the right to live where you want to live, and to just embrace life.”

  “But Jimmy, Mom and Granny Mags did everything for me. They paid for college … and then I up and left them because living with an ocean view was on my damned list. Taking care of my mother and grandmother wasn’t on there.” She closed her eyes.

  “Did you buy the house for them?” Jimmy asked gently.

  Maggie nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Not many kids buy homes for their parents. And you said you made the list when you were eighteen. You’re being too hard on yourself.” He squeezed her hand and then leaned back.

  When Maggie pressed her lips together and lowered her gaze, Jimmy’s heart felt as if it were being squeezed.

  “Hey, I think you should lay it on thick when winter hits up north. Send pictures of palm trees.” He raised his eyebrows. “Better, yet, send plane tickets.”

  “Smart thinking. Even though they no longer have to count every penny, both of them are still super frugal.”

  “You really think they won’t want to retire to Florida?” He sure hoped they would.

  “When I first talked about them moving here with me, Mom thought the cost of living would be too high.”

  “Sea Breeze isn’t that bad. Just get them here for an extended period of time and hopefully, they’ll never want to leave.”

  “Well, I can guarantee you that neither of them would let a plane ticket go to waste. Granny Mags would just have a nip of Irish whiskey to take the edge off her nerves,” she said, and seemed to relax a little bit.

  “Do you want to take Trixie boating with us?” Jimmy asked, wanting to change the subject.

  “Do you think she’d like it?”

  “Only one way to find out,” he said with a grin. “Does she like riding in the car?”

  “Loves it.”

  “Then you should bring her. She can always go belowdecks.” Jimmy stood up and took the dishes over to the sink.

  “I’ll clean up.”

  “I don’t mind. You get back to your writing. This won’t take long. I’ll text you when I’m on my way back to get you. But there’s something I need before I leave.”

  “And what might that be?”

  Jimmy walked over, tugged her from her stool, and pulled her into his arms. “This,” he said before dipping his head and kissing her. She felt warm, pliant. Her nipples pebbled against the cotton of his shirt, and when he slid his hands to her ass, he discovered the answer to his question regarding panties: she wore none.

  “Maggie?” Jimmy said in her ear. “I want—”

  “Me too.”

  “Where?”

  “Here.”

  Jimmy set her down on the kitchen island.

  “Cold!”

  Jimmy laughed, tugged her shirt over her head, and then shed his shorts. He eased her forward, to the very edge of the island. “Hold on to me.”

  Maggie nodded and grabbed his shoulders. He steadied her by putting his hands just below her hips and then entered her with a quick, deep, upward thrust. She gasped and dug her fingers into his shoulders when he started a fast rhythm. He loved the way her breasts moved against his chest, and he adored her little throaty whimpers of pleasure. She wrapped her legs around him, wildly urging him on. His heart thudded, his muscles strained.

  When Maggie tilted her head back, he kissed her throat. He could feel the wild beat of her pulse, and when she cried out, Jimmy’s own orgasm ripped through him.

  Maggie clung to him and she pressed her forehead to his chest. “I will never be able to cook in here again without thinking about … this.”

  Jimmy chuckled weakly.

  “And now thunderstorms turn me on. The shower … the balcony. And my bed. Soon you will be on my mind in every inch of this condo.”

  “That’s the idea.”

  Maggie peppered his chest with kisses and he stayed buried deep for another minute. He reluctantly pulled from her delicious warm heat and helped her from the island. She clung to him for a moment. “My legs are a bit shaky.”

  Jimmy scooped her up and carried her to her office.

  “Do you expect me to write in the nude?”

  “I like that vision.”

  Maggie laughed. “I think I’d better take a quick shower and get dressed.” She rose on tiptoe and gave him a lingering kiss.

  “Mmm,” Jimmy said, holding her close. “I’ll tidy up the kitchen.”


  “You don’t have—”

  Jimmy silenced her with a gentle fingertip to her lips. “Hey, I want to. Get your page count in so we can have the evening together.”

  Maggie nodded. “Okay. But you’re creating a monster by pampering me.”

  “The sexiest monster ever.” He leaned in and gave her a quick, hard kiss, but she grabbed his head and kept it going. She pulled her mouth from his and put her cheek to his chest. “Maggie,” he said in a gruff tone full of need. His cock stirred, hopeful, and he shook his head. “God,” he added weakly.

  Maggie stepped away and wiggled her fingers forward. “Okay, off with you, then.”

  Jimmy backed up, taking in the view of her naked for as long as he could. She giggled, blushed, and looked so damned adorable. She seemed to have shaken her earlier mood, and as he tugged on his shorts, he pushed the fear of her leaving Sea Breeze from his mind.

  Things would work out. They simply had to.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  ROCK ME GENTLY

  Maggie sat in the passenger side of the sleek cabin cruiser and held on to Trixie, who seemed to relish the wind blowing her ears straight back. Her tongue hung comically out of the side of her mouth, happily flapping. Luckily, Maggie had secured her hair in a ponytail, and its movement currently mimicked that of Trixie’s ears. Now that they were out of what Jimmy said was a no-wake zone, he opened the engines up and skimmed across the water.

  The briny scent of the sea mingled with the tropical aroma of sunscreen. The gauzy material of Maggie’s emerald-green cover-up whipped around in the stiff breeze. Maggie had chosen one of her more revealing bikinis, black, with ties at the hip. She’d secured her daring halter top with a tight knot at her neck and back. It wasn’t something she’d usually wear to the beach for all to see, but she wanted to entice Jimmy. She’d added a slim gold necklace with a sand dollar pendant and delicate matching earrings to complete the look. After growing up poor, Maggie still sometimes felt guilty wearing expensive things. And now here she was, skimming along in a spectacular boat with the man of her dreams.

  Incredible. And while she wasn’t one to wait for the other shoe to drop, Maggie just couldn’t believe her luck. She looked over to Jimmy in the captain’s seat: he was standing up and steering the boat with ease. He looked damned sexy in low-slung board shorts, a backward baseball cap, and aviator Ray-Bans. When he glanced over at her and caught her ogling him, she laughed.

  “What?”

  “I’m enjoying the view,” Maggie admitted, and he gave her a lopsided smile before turning his attention back to the water. Indeed, the pelicans dipping toward the ocean and the white seagulls in formation against the clear blue sky were certainly gorgeous, but Maggie’s eyes were repeatedly drawn to Jimmy.

  At first, the city girl in Maggie had been a little scared of taking a boat ride out to sea, but Jimmy’s knowledge and easy assurance were all she needed to calm down and enjoy the ride and the scenery. Trixie had trembled at first, tucking her head into the crook of Maggie’s arm, but then she’d suddenly decided she liked the wind in her furry little face. It was as if she too trusted Jimmy with her doggie life.

  When Jimmy veered to the right, the boat tilted, making Maggie’s stomach clench partly in fear but mostly with excitement. He slowed the speed and then raised the engines.

  “Why did you do that?” Maggie asked.

  “Shallow water. I can tell by watching the depth finder.” He pointed to a screen.

  “Ah … well, it’s beautiful through here.”

  Jimmy nodded. “An abundance of wildlife. I thought you’d like it,” he said, making Maggie feel a flash of pleasure that he was continually thinking of ways to please her.

  “I do!” Maggie looked right and left while Jimmy carefully maneuvered through a narrow cove surrounded by mangrove trees. Maggie marveled at the pointy-beaked egrets, colorful herons, and the white ibises with the comically long beaks. A fish jumped out of the water, making Maggie laugh.

  “A mullet. Hard to catch.”

  Maggie watched another mullet jump high above the water. “You speak from experience?”

  Jimmy nodded. “We used to fish a lot with my dad when we were kids. I don’t fish much anymore,” he said with an edge of sadness. “But yeah, because of their high oil content, mullet are good smoked and in dips. I’ll get some for you, if you like.”

  “Oh yes, sounds delish.” After a few minutes, the cove widened, letting in bright rays of sunshine that seemed to reach into the water.

  “Want to hang out here for a while?” Jimmy asked.

  “Sure.” When Maggie nodded, he killed the engines. She watched him head up to the pointed bow of the boat, open a hatch, and drop the anchor. She enjoyed watching the ripple of muscle while he worked with ease. While there was a certain grace in his movements, he oozed masculinity. He made his way deftly along the narrow side of the boat, flipping the white fenders over the rails drifting near the twisted tree limbs. Then he tied the boat off on a branch—so the craft wouldn’t swing out into the cove, Maggie guessed.

  Jimmy looked over at her. “You don’t have to sit there, Mags. Get up and move around, explore.” He smiled while he moved around himself, opening a rear door and then lowering a metal ladder into the water. “It’s pretty shallow here, maybe ten or twelve feet deep, if you want to swim.”

  Maggie stood up, still clutching Trixie. She slowly made her way to the stern, which was nicely equipped with curved bench seats on either side of the deck. At the back of the captain’s chair was a small fridge and wet bar area. Trixie, apparently tired of being held, squirmed to get down and get out of the sun.

  “Is it okay if Trixie goes below?”

  “Sure.” Jimmy opened the door to the cabin and whistled to Trixie. He scooped her up and took her below.

  “Thanks.”

  “Of course.” Jimmy walked over and pulled Maggie into his arms. “I am so glad you’re here with me. I haven’t been out on the water in forever. It feels awesome. How do you like it so far?”

  “I was a little bit afraid at first, but I love it and Trixie seems to as well.”

  “Most dogs do.”

  “Trixie isn’t most dogs.”

  Jimmy chuckled. “And you aren’t most women.”

  Maggie smiled, placing her palms on his sun-warmed chest. “Granny Mags used to say that they broke the mold after creating me. I think she meant it in a good way.”

  “I know she did.” He tilted her head up and gave her a lingering kiss that turned her insides to liquid. He pulled his mouth from hers but held her close. “Are you hungry? Or want something to drink? I’m stocked to the gills with just about anything your heart desires.”

  I desire you, Maggie thought, but she didn’t say it. She was glad her eyes were hidden behind her sunglasses, because surely her love for him would show in her gaze. “A martini.”

  “That was a little unexpected.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know where that came from. I guess I’m just up for something different.”

  “As you wish. I aim to please”

  “Your aim is spot-on.”

  “What kind?”

  Maggie didn’t usually drink martinis, but now that she’d said it, she had to go with her request. “Chocolate” popped into her brain and out of her mouth.

  “Coming right up.”

  “Really?”

  “Anything your heart desires, remember? I’m pretty sure I have all the ingredients. Come on down into the cabin with me.”

  Maggie followed him down the short flight of steps. “Oh wow, this is gorgeous.” She’d peeked inside before they’d left the marina but hadn’t gotten the full effect.

  “Oliver loves this boat.”

  “It’s fun that he named the boat Heartbeat.” Maggie ran her fingers over the smooth wood of a small table in front of a cushioned bench seat. “Oh my gosh, there’s a stove!”

  “And I will be using it,” Jimmy said while gathering the ingred
ients for her request.

  “Hey, a glass of wine will do.”

  “No way.” Jimmy measured Godiva chocolate liqueur, Grey Goose vodka, and half-and-half into a shaker filled with ice. He did all this at a gleaming granite counter. Dark teak cabinets lined the walls above the stove and sink. Maggie looked around, fascinated that the cabin had the creature comforts of home in such a compact area. “A microwave! Fridge. Sink!”

  Jimmy laughed while popping the lid on the shaker.

  “What’s behind the shutters?” She pointed to the bow of the boat.

  “Check it out,” Jimmy said over the sound of ice clinking.

  Maggie opened the shutter-style wooden doors. “Oh my gosh. A big bed! And a window above! So pretty.” Unable to resist, she hoisted herself up onto the cushions. “There’s a flat-screen TV in here,” she said, with a sense of wonder that had Jimmy chuckling again. “This is so cool. I think I could live here.”

  “There was a time when Oliver practically did live on this boat,” Jimmy said sadly, and then glanced away.

  “After your mom …”

  Jimmy closed his eyes briefly. “Yeah. He said the water helped him heal.” The pain that crossed Jimmy’s face reminded Maggie of what he’d gone through. Spending this day with him made her feel closer to him, and helped her to push the Heartbeat celebrity thing further away.

  When Trixie tried three times to jump up onto the bed, Jimmy stopped shaking the martini and put her up there with Maggie.

  “What do you think, girlie?” Maggie asked, in her talking-to-Trixie voice.

  Trixie turned in a circle about five times and then settled against a mound of throw pillows. She opened her mouth for a huge yawn.

  “I think she likes it,” Jimmy said. He reached up, located two martini glasses, and filled them with a flourish. “For you, madam.”

  Maggie took a sip and savored the cold chocolate concoction. The bite of the vodka kept the drink from being too sweet. “Oh, heaven in an elegant glass.” She came up to her knees to give him a lingering kiss.