Shape of My Heart

by LuAnn McLane

  “Agreed.” Jimmy reached out to hang on to the ladder and then captured her lips for a longer, deeper kiss. The water lapped back and forth. Desire, thick, hot, and potent, washed over Jimmy and God, he wanted to take her right there. He nearly asked if she wanted a dirty swim, but there wasn’t anything remotely dirty about making love to Maggie, and he didn’t want to come off as being crass. “After you,” he said, enjoying the view of her amazing ass as she climbed back aboard.

  “Are you staring at my butt?”

  “Of course.”

  Maggie laughed and gave him a little wiggle of her hips.

  “Have a seat on the ledge so we can dry off.”

  “Okay.” Maggie climbed the ladder and then scooted over to make room for him. He joined her, letting his legs dangle over the edge into the water. “I’m so glad you didn’t hurt yourself falling in. That would have been horrible.”

  “As soon as I started stumbling, I knew to take a leap away from the boat. Trust me, this isn’t the first time I’ve fallen off the Heartbeat.” He grinned at her. “Lots of beer was usually the culprit. And sometimes a deliberate push. But Jesse was the worst—always falling off the damned boat and we’d have to circle around and get him. Sometimes I think he did it on purpose.”

  “I bet you guys have a blast together. I think that’s one of the reasons everybody loved Heartbeat so much.”

  “Yeah, not that we don’t have our moments. Jesse can drive me insane pulling pranks that only he finds funny. Oliver can get sulky sometimes. And Grady still likes to be in charge.”

  “And you?”

  Jimmy shrugged. “My brothers claim I tend to clam up and not show my feelings as much as I should. I tend to internalize, and I’m a bit of a loner.” He smiled at her. “You’re helping me with that.”

  “How so?”

  “Just by being you, I guess. Maggie, you make me want things I didn’t even know I wanted. And you make me open up.”

  “I could say the same thing about you.”

  “Then we must be good for each other, don’t you think?”

  “I do.” Maggie nodded and gave him a bright smile that wrapped around his heart. He couldn’t stop looking at her. “Maggie …”

  “What?” she asked softly.

  Jimmy swallowed hard. He wanted to say so many things to her but he didn’t want to push. “Hey, did you apply sunscreen?”

  “The spray kind, but I couldn’t get my back very well.”

  “I’ll gladly fix that. Any excuse to touch you,” Jimmy said, and then fell silent for a few seconds, trying to decide how to proceed. “You know, I try to stay pretty even keeled.”

  Maggie gave him a sideways glance. “You’re way more laid-back than me, I think.”

  “So I thought.” Jimmy tilted his head. “But Maggie, I haven’t felt this relaxed, this at peace, for a very long time, which means I must have been more uptight than I thought.” He gave her a level look. “And you have everything to do with how at ease I feel.” He wondered again if this was the right time to tell her he was falling madly in love with her. Too soon? Maybe. But God, he wanted to. Needed to. The knowledge burned in his chest, and the only remedy was to tell her.

  “I’m glad,” Maggie replied, and Jimmy wished he could see her eyes behind her sunglasses. “You have the same effect on me.”

  Jimmy smiled. Surely she knew where this was heading, but he could feel a slight resistance.

  “Oh my gosh, where’s Trixie?” Maggie asked, and Jimmy wondered if this was a ploy to change the subject.

  “Trixie is still asleep in the aft cabin. I checked on her.”

  “She’s pretty chill today too.”

  “And you?”

  “No doubt,” Maggie said, but looked down into the water and moved her feet in swirls. “It’s as if we’re the only two people in the world back here in this cove.”

  “Maggie?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Why did you get out of bed earlier?” Jimmy asked, and then could have bitten his damned tongue for prying. But did she get up because cuddling was somehow more intimate than sex? Would she have left if she hadn’t been stuck on the boat with him?

  She shrugged, but failed to look at him.

  “Was I snoring?”

  “No.” Maggie shook her head but continued to gaze down at the water, as if something important was on her mind.

  “Then why?” Jimmy asked gently. “Not that you were under an obligation to stay in bed with me,” he added, not wanting her to think he was a demanding jackass.

  Maggie blew out a short breath and then looked at him. “Maybe it’s the peace and quiet out here, the solitude, nature. I don’t know, but I had an epiphany.”

  “Please tell me you’re going to share this moment with me.”

  “Yes, I think it’s something you deserve to know.”

  Jimmy’s heart thudded. “I’m ready.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  DON’T YOU WANNA STAY

  Maggie’s chest felt constricted and her heart pounded so hard she felt as if her rib cage were vibrating. But then she inhaled a deep breath and took a giant leap into uncharted territory. “I thought to myself that I wished I could stay cuddled in your arms forever.”

  “Maggie, I thought the same thing.”

  “But, Jimmy, I felt more than contentment. This … this warmth just blossomed in my chest and … and I just didn’t expect things to happen so fast between us. And so I scrambled up from the bed, thinking if I wasn’t with you, right beside you, feeling such bliss, that I could perhaps reason my feelings away, blame it on the crazy, incredible sex … or something goofy like that.”

  “And did you?” Jimmy asked in a husky tone.

  “No,” Maggie answered simply, honestly.

  “And are you sorry?” Jimmy leaned forward, gripping the ledge, not looking at her.

  “No … I’m just a little scared. Okay, a lot scared,” she added in a lower tone. “Admitting my growing feelings for you was something I told myself not to do, but I’ve figured out that it’s not something I can control—” Maggie stopped so he’d look at her, and he did. “Something came over me.”

  “What, Maggie?”

  “It’s like little butterflies of happiness are flying around in my stomach. Everything looks brighter, sharper. Better.”

  “Good.” Jimmy smiled, but then she gave him a serious look. “Wait, not good?”

  Maggie chuckled softly at his confused frown and his expression softened. “Just hear me out.”

  “I’m all ears.”

  “This may sound odd, but I think I’ve been afraid that if I embrace happiness, then I’ll lose my edge and fail to connect with my readers.”

  Jimmy frowned but then said, “Like when Adele fell in love and wasn’t heartbroken anymore?”

  “Yes!”

  “Or if Taylor Swift finally kept a boyfriend? Wait, sorry, I didn’t mean to sound flippant.”

  “No, you’re actually coming from a songwriter’s point of view, so you’re spot-on.” She pressed her lips together for a second. “Anyway, suddenly, I had a lightbulb moment and realized that I’ve written so much about how to overcome the insecurities of youth, especially for girls who suffered more than most.”

  “But that’s your wheelhouse.”

  “True, but I’m not that insecure little girl any longer. I want to turn the page and incorporate this transition of mine into my talks and my books,” she said, and felt a surge of excitement at voicing her ideas to Jimmy. “Leave the pain of the past behind and focus on the future.” She reached over and took his hand. “I know my pain was different from yours, but I know that you must understand what I mean.”

  “Yeah.” Jimmy swallowed hard. “I certainly do. So go on, tell me more.”

  “Okay.” Maggie could already feel ideas swarming around in her head. “I’ve focused my work on middle-school kids and teens. It makes sense to go beyond those years and talk about how to cope with what comes n
ext.”

  “I think you’re absolutely right.” Jimmy leaned closer, pressing his arm against hers.

  Maggie turned and placed her hand on his sun-warmed chest, still not quite able to fully embrace her happiness or shove away the ice-cold fear still lingering and ready to pounce. But this admission of her feelings was a damned good start. “You played a big part in this revelation of mine, Jimmy. I want you to know that.”

  “What you do is important, so any small part I might have played makes me happy.”

  Maggie smiled. “Coming out here on the water was just what I needed. Thank you.”

  “Anytime you want to go for a cruise, just say the word and it will happen.”

  Maggie’s smile broadened into a grin. “And I owe you a home-cooked dinner. I haven’t forgotten.”

  “Me neither. Speaking of dinner … are you hungry?”

  “Famished.”

  “Then it’s time for me to cook a delicious dinner for you. Are you up for staying in this cove all night? I can navigate in the dark, but I’d rather stay out here under the stars with you.”

  “Sounds divine.”

  “Excellent.” Jimmy stood up and offered her his hand.

  Maggie accepted his assistance, feeling his firm, warm grasp all the way down to her toes. When she fell against him, Jimmy wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. She closed her eyes in anticipation of a kiss, but Jimmy stood very still, simply holding her while the boat gently bobbed.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking.” He pulled her sunglasses up and put them on her head.

  “That I’ve had a crush on you since I was, like, ten.”

  Jimmy chuckled. “Actually, that is kinda crazy.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “In a fun way.” Jimmy took her hand, placed it over his heart, and gazed down at her with serious eyes. “That was a fantasy, but this is very real. Don’t ever lose sight of that fact. Promise?”

  Maggie nodded but lowered her gaze.

  “Now what are you thinking?”

  “Just wondering how a nerdy little girl from Cleveland could end up right here, right now. I’m going to be really pissed if I wake up, back in my little bedroom, staring up at your picture.”

  Jimmy tilted his head back and laughed. “Well then, come with me and I’ll show you just how real things can get. If you don’t mind, dinner can wait for a bit.”

  Maggie didn’t mind, but her voice had left the building. She felt the warm, heady anticipation of hot sex while she followed Jimmy into the cool interior of the boat. He untied her bikini and tossed it aside, pausing to cup her breasts. His calloused fingertips rubbing against her nipples made her breath catch. Heavy heat pooled between her thighs and he touched her there, dipping his finger to find her wet with desire.

  “God, Maggie,” he said next to her ear. When he lowered his head and took a sensitive nipple into his warm mouth, Maggie clung to his shoulders, breathing hard. His finger slid in and out of her wet heat while he licked, sucked, and then moved to her other breast.

  God …

  Maggie’s knees threatened to buckle. “Jimmy …” she pleaded, heading toward a climax with whiplash speed. He lifted her up onto the bed, shed his shorts, and joined her, gloriously naked. He slid his skin over hers and she could feel the steely hardness of his erection pressing against her core. With a groan, she put her hand around his penis, guiding him to where she wanted him most.

  She moaned when Jimmy slid his hands beneath her ass, tilted her up, and entered her with one smooth stroke. God, he felt so good, so strong, so … “Mmm,” Maggie moaned, spreading her legs wider, bending her knees, giving her body, her love, to him, holding nothing in reserve. He thrust hard, deep, and yet somehow it was tender, loving.

  Maggie opened her eyes, watching the emotion play across his handsome face. His jaw clenched, muscles rippled. God … so gorgeous. Maggie’s body rocked with his and when he angled her ass higher, drove deeper, she clutched at the sheets, panting. Desire, wound so tightly, started to unravel. At her sharp cry he thrust faster, pushing her over the edge. Her climax broke her wide open and intense pleasure seemed to burst from her body.

  Jimmy stiffened, drove deep, and groaned. “Ahhhh, Maggie. God, Maggie.” He collapsed against her, rolled to the side, and then kissed her tenderly, as if savoring the moment.

  When he pulled back and looked at her, Maggie smiled, filled with emotion. “I’m glad I told you how I feel.”

  “Me too.” He licked his bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, causing a hot shiver to mingle with complete satisfaction. She was sated and yet craved more.

  When he rose up to look at her she smiled and asked, “What, Jimmy?”

  “Let me know when it’s time to tell the world that we’re together.”

  Maggie remained smiling and nodded, but from the look in her eyes, he somehow knew she had to let everything sink in before going public. “Just our family, okay?” she asked, suddenly thinking about how happy the news that she had a boyfriend would make her mother and Granny Mags.

  “You got it,” he said, and then kissed her again. “Even though I want to stand upon the bow of the boat and shout, ‘Maggie Murphy is my girlfriend!’ up to the sky.”

  Maggie laughed, picturing him doing that and scaring the birds from the trees.

  “But I’ll keep this amazing news to myself until you’re ready to shout with me. Now, it’s high time I fixed you that dinner I promised.”

  “Need help?”

  “Nope, just pour yourself a glass of wine or whatever else you want, and I’ll get things going.” He gave her a quick kiss and scooted out of bed.

  Maggie remained there for a few more minutes, shoving away any remaining doubt, any sinking fear, thinking there wasn’t a wrecking ball big enough to shatter this kind of happiness. She heard Jimmy humming while puttering around and thought, Life is good.

  Maggie sat on the edge of the bed, legs dangling, warm coffee mug cradled in her hands. She watched Jimmy cook breakfast in the nude, his perfect white ass in stark contrast to his tanned back. He worked in the small galley kitchen with ease, scrambling eggs, turning bacon, chopping up home fries from baked potatoes left over from dinner last night. Maggie had eaten so much over the past three days, but endless physical activity had counteracted the calories. They swam, went shelling, fished … and made love until they fell into an exhausted sleep.

  Maggie also managed to get some work done, including making an outline for future books that focused on embracing happiness after turbulent childhood years.

  She took a sip of the strong coffee Jimmy had made and smiled at Trixie, who sat on her haunches next to Jimmy, hopeful that a scrap might fall her way. While Jimmy respected the no-people-food rule, Maggie knew that he dropped a bit of this and that accidentally-on-purpose.

  “Breakfast smells heavenly,” Maggie said, drawing a glance from Jimmy.

  “The last of our supplies, I’m afraid.”

  “Can’t we live off the land and sea, my sexy beast?”

  “Without coffee and wine?” He arched an eyebrow.

  “Mmm, no. We must go ashore for supplies.”

  Jimmy walked over with a crisp slice of bacon. “I’ll trade this bacon for a kiss.”

  Maggie put her coffee mug on the ledge and pulled him in for a long, lingering, all-consuming kiss.

  “You must love bacon.”

  “I do,” she said, wanting to tell him that she loved him more. “So, do I have to earn the last of the coffee?” she asked with a wicked smile.

  “Mmm …” Jimmy nibbled on his lip as if considering several ideas. “I’m not one for quickies with you since I prefer to savor every inch of your body, but we have about three minutes before the eggs are done.” He turned the burners off. “Make that four.” He turned to face her, revealing how ready he was for action.

  Maggie smiled and unwrapped the sheet from her naked body. In two long strides, Jimmy was in the bed. Maggie got up on
all fours, showing him her ass, knowing that it would get him there fast. She gasped when his hands spanned her waist in a firm grip, and then he entered her from behind. From this angle he could thrust deep, hold her steady. Her breasts jiggled with the force of his thrusts and she closed her eyes, loving the sheer male strength and power that came from him. He came fast, but while still buried deep, he reached around and caressed her with firm fingers, bringing her to a sharp, intense climax.

  “Wow,” Maggie said in a near whisper and just like that, he was back to cooking breakfast, but with a Cheshire smile now on his handsome face.

  Maggie couldn’t remember feeling this free, this uninhibited. She supposed that love broke down barriers, chased away fear, and created a comfort zone. And God, the way she was able to turn Jimmy on with just a look, a suggestive smile, made Maggie feel beautiful, powerful, and strengthened her love, her trust. What was it about being in love that made you feel invincible? She only hoped that when they returned home, the intense feelings would remain and that this wasn’t just a few blissful days devoid of the stresses of the real world. Maggie wasn’t remotely ready for a reality check.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  COULD IT BE FOREVER

  Jimmy sent Maggie a text message that he’d be over to scoop her up in about fifteen minutes. Although she’d tried to hide it, he knew she was nervous to go with him to Grady’s house for a family cookout. What she didn’t know was that Oliver and Belinda had flown into town for a much-needed break at the beach house, and also to rehearse for a concert appearance at the fundraiser for the Sea Breeze theater. Normally the annual event happened in the spring, but some major problems with plumbing called for an emergency need for money. Grady had agreed that Heartbeat would perform three songs but that Oliver and Belinda would emcee the event.

  Jimmy stepped into the hot spray of the shower, allowing his mind to wander, to reflect on the happiness of the past month. After the amazing three days they’d spent together on the water, their relationship had strengthened. He and Maggie had started a pretty sweet routine. They would have breakfast together every morning, and then Maggie would work on her manuscript while Jimmy helped at the lupus foundation and gave guitar lessons at the music shop. Then came dinner, followed by a walk on the beach, a swim, or a late-evening cruise on Oliver’s boat. Later, Maggie would join Jimmy on his balcony while he played his guitar and did some songwriting. And they talked, sometimes late into the night. But then came his favorite part of the day … making sweet love to Maggie until they fell asleep, tangled in the sheets, wrapped around each other.