Shiela Stewart - [Darkness 08]

by Surviving theDarkness (epub)

  But she’d left the jerk, and Zach had helped her to get clean. Now it seemed he’d be doing it again.

  Scooting off the steps, Zach pranced around the side of the house where he knew it would be safer for him to transform back. Though the city knew about his kind, he still didn’t like announcing himself as a shape shifter in public. He preferred keeping it to himself for the most part.

  Back in his human form, he retrieved his wallet and cell phone from the bush by the back alley and checked his messages. “Damn it.”

  Tucking both in his pocket, Zach hurried to his car.

  ***

  It felt good to be out and about, and though the city left something to be desired, it was still nice. Deborah remembered a time when the streets were clean, trees were lush with leaves and the grass was green. She supposed after the ordeal of a year of darkness, it was going to take time to regain what it once had. And it was progressing, however slowly.

  Heading to the closest supermarket Deborah hoped it wasn’t too crowded. She didn’t do crowds these days. You never knew who was lurking about, waiting—and she needed to stop thinking like that.

  Take control of your life. Be strong.

  Her first step toward being strong was going out on her own, shopping. It was her first venture out since— She had to stop thinking of her life as before and after. It was now. She needed to live for today.

  That was what she was doing now. She wanted to do something special for Ginny, for being such a gracious host. It had been such a long time since she’d cooked for anyone. Deborah hoped she didn’t screw it up. Parking her car, as close to the front entrance as possible, then doing a cursory glance around, she hurried to the doors.

  Entering, she felt the air choke her. There were so many people. He could be anywhere.

  Spinning around, she ran into a woman and nearly belted out a scream.

  “Oh dear, I am so sorry.”

  “No, no, I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” She had to get out, had to get away.

  “Oh my God! You’re Deborah Carmichael. I love your music. Oh I just need your autograph.”

  Standing in the doorway, her heart racing her pulse pounding, Deborah waited for the woman as she rifled through her purse for what she assumed was a pen and paper.

  “Just sign it to Lara, that’s me.” The woman beamed, holding out a pad and pen.

  Telling herself to stay calm, Deborah signed her autograph and was surprised her hand was steady.

  “This is incredible. Wait until I show my friends. It’s so good to see you, here of all places. I’m so sorry about what happened to you. I hope they put the bastard away for good.”

  “Thank you. Take care.” With a shaky smile, Deborah hurried back to her car. Once inside she rested her head on the steering wheel and told herself to just breathe.

  The knock on her window jolted her and this time she did scream.

  “Sorry to scare you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” the gentleman shouted through the closed window.

  Deborah smiled politely, started the car and drove off.

  She wasn’t okay. Not okay at all.

  ***

  Neither Zach nor Simone said a word as they climbed into the car. Zach started the engine, then swiveled in his seat, turning to Simone. She sat slumped over, head down. Her hair was a matted mess of curls and her clothing were wrinkled and smelt of stale smoke and booze.

  He turned back to the front then shifting once more, spoke. “Why?”

  “Why not?”

  Facing forward, Zach started them rolling. He had to think about what he wanted to say before he said it.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” Apparently he wasn’t allowed time to think.

  “For everything.”

  “Are you?”

  “Of course I am.” She snarled her response.

  “Sorry means you won’t do it again.”

  “I slipped up. Give me a break.”

  He pulled over to the curb, shut the car off and turned back to face her. “You were pulled over for driving recklessly. You were twice over the legal limit and I know it’s not just from alcohol because your nose is running. Where did you get the cocaine?”

  She wiped her nose with her hand, pursed her lips. “What does it matter where I got it?”

  “Because if it’s someone I know—”

  “It’s not. Look, Zach. I know I screwed up—”

  “Don’t tell me it won’t happen again.” He started the car, sent them rolling again. “We’re going to pack up some of your belongings and you’re going to stay with me for the next few days.”

  “Right, so you can make sure I stay in line,” she grunted, glaring out her window.

  “Fine, Simone. Have it your way.” He spun the car around so quickly she bumped her head against the door.

  “What the hell?”

  “You want to live like this. Fine. I’ll show you what you have to look forward to.” He took her to the worst part of town, where the hookers were plenty and the drugs were everywhere and the derelicts crowded the vacant houses.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Showing you what you have to look forward to.” He slammed the car into park, shoved out of his seat and hurried to her door. Taking her by the arm, he practically dragged her out.

  “Stop it, Zach.”

  “This is the life you have to look forward to if you stay on the path you’re on.”

  “Hey sugar, wanna party?”

  He ignored the proposition and continued past the raunchy prostitute. “You’ll be a hit with the boys. You’ve got great legs and your tits are big enough to satisfy any man’s lust.”

  “Zach!”

  “Which will be good for you because you’ll need to fuck like a rabbit in order to keep up with your habit. Although, there’s the downside of having the drugs and alcohol age you, but there’s always some loser looking for a quick fuck with no preference to what the broad looks like.”

  “Stop it!”

  He held her arm tight in his grasp when she tried to jerk it away. “You’ll be booted out of that cozy apartment of yours because your rent money will go to drugs. So this is where you’ll be staying.” He dragged her into a rundown house that smelt of urine, fecal matter, booze and drugs. “Home sweet home.”

  “Stop it!” She finally managed to jerk her arm free. “I screwed up! I know I did, but I will never end up like this.”

  “No,” He took her chin in his hand and changed into her. “Tell me what you see, Simone.”

  Her eyes glistened as she stared into her own face.

  “This is one day of booze and drugs. Imagine a week, two, three—”

  “I get it. Change back. Change back, damn it!” She bolted out the door, sobbing.

  Changing back, he raced out after her. Zach hated what he’d just done but he’d hate it more if he watched his friend spiral downward and did nothing to prevent it. He found her back at the car, leaning over the hood, sobbing. He put a hand on her shoulder, kissed her head. “I had to do it, Simone.”

  “I know.”

  “Are you ready to deal with it?”

  She sniffled, lifted her head. “Yes.”

  “This time, you get professional help. Agreed?”

  She sniffled again, nodded. “Agreed.”

  “Good. Now, let’s get out of here.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Deborah hadn’t seen any reason to tell Ginny that she’d planned to cook for her but had chickened out of shopping. So instead, she’d ordered pizza. It was a pathetic attempt at saying thank you for letting her stay but for now, it was the best she could do.

  She was determined to put a stop to her fears and
to do so, she needed Zach’s help. He was being so kind, taking time out of his evening when she knew he probably had plenty of work to do. She’d have to find a way to thank him as well. Taking the elevator down to his suite, she rang his bell and waited for him to answer.

  She never expected the pretty waitress, Simone, to answer. Especially not in a short silky robe.

  “Hi. Deborah, right?”

  “Yes.” She was at a complete loss for words.

  “Zach’s up in his office but he said to tell you he’ll be down soon and to come in and get ready.” She stepped aside, welcoming Deborah in.

  Feeling more than a little awkward, Deborah entered.

  “I just got out of the shower. It’s been a rough day…” She shook her head. “I’ll let you do your thing and I’ll go do mine.” Shutting the door, Simone paused. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.”

  “How do you do it?” Deborah cocked her head to the side and Simone continued. “If I’d been attacked and held hostage I think—no, I know I’d be a complete basket case. Yet you seem to be doing so well. How do you do it?”

  With a faint chuckle, Debora spoke, “Would I be here asking Zach for help if I was doing well?”

  “Sure, I know you want to learn some self defense but still…You seem to be managing.”

  Deborah dropped her bag and held out her wrists. The scars were fading but the memory was still very vivid. “These are always there to remind me of what happened. There isn’t a moment in the day that I don’t feel like screaming or hiding in a corner. I tried to go shopping today for some groceries to make Ginny dinner but I only got as far as the store entrance before I chickened out and ran to my car. I never enter any domicile without feeling like my heart is going to explode. I am constantly looking over my shoulder or jumping at the slightest sound. I’m not even close to managing,” she chuckled nervously.

  “Wow.” Simone shifted to one hip, angled her head. “That’s…big, but still…okay so what I’m trying to say is…do you use anything to help you get through it?”

  “Use anything?”

  “Booze, drugs…that sort of thing.”

  Deborah shook her head. The thought had never even crossed her mind. “No, nothing like that. I do take sleeping pills, occasionally but I hate taking them because they make me groggy and when I sleep I have nightmares, so it’s not often. Why do you ask?”

  Running her fingers through her damp hair, Simone sighed. “I don’t know how much Zach has told you about me but I got out of an abusive relationship several months ago.”

  “Good for you.”

  “Yeah….” Simone smiled faintly. “Well, in order to deal with the abuse and being on my own, I turned to drugs and booze. Zach helped me get clean but…I keep slipping. I just can’t do it without something numbing me. You know?” She held her hands out, let them fall.

  Deborah nodded. “I do. It would be so easy to numb myself for a few hours but I know when the drugs wore off my problems would still be there. I suppose I could keep drugging myself, but where would that take me? And it would give him power over me. He’d win. Do you know what I mean?”

  Simone tipped her head down. “I never thought of it like that.”

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being a victim and I sure as hell do not want the bastard who traumatized me to win so I’m going to do everything in my power to stop him. I was someone before he attacked me and I will be someone again. It might take time, but I’ll get there.” Deborah reached out and touched Simone’s arm. “And so will you.”

  There were tears glistening in Simone’s eyes. “You’re right. God, you are so right. I let him beat me down and I continue to let him beat me down every time I take a hit or a drink. I prided myself on my determination. Before I met my husband, I was a headstrong woman. He stripped that away from me.”

  “No, he clouded it, but she’s still there. You’re still the same person. You just have to find your way through the cloud.”

  The tears rolled down Simone’s cheeks but the smile lifted her lips. “Thank you.”

  Deborah was more than surprised when the waitress threw her arms out and took her in a strong embrace.

  “Well,” Simone sniffled back her tears. “I better get dressed. I’m going to rehab. Before talking to you, I was going because Zach wanted me to. But now…” she wiped her face. “I’m doing it because I want to. Because I need to.” She took Deborah’s hand in hers, gave it a squeeze. “You ever need to go shopping, just call me. I’m the shopping Queen.”

  “Thanks, Simone.” As she hurried off to the bedroom down the hall, Deborah picked up her bag. The door behind her opened, startling her, until she saw it was Zach.

  He cupped her chin in his hand and smiled. “Thank you.”

  Utterly confused, she replied, “For what?”

  “For convincing Simone she was better than the drugs.” He released her chin.

  “You were eavesdropping?”

  “I came down and was about to open the door when I heard the two of you talking. I waited. The door isn’t so thick that I couldn’t hear most of what the two of you were saying.”

  “Helping others is a lot easier than helping yourself.” If only she could make herself feel better.

  He ran a finger along her cheek sending a trickle of a shiver through her body. “Isn’t that the truth. Are you ready to get started?”

  His touch left a warm sensation inside her body. “I am. Did you hear what I told Simone about shopping?”

  “I did. How do you want to deal with it?”

  “You tell me.”

  Taking her hand in his, he kissed her knuckles and smiling, released her hand. “Get changed and we’ll work on it.”

  Heading to the room she usually changed in, Deborah thought about what Ginny had said about Zach. He was definitely making the moves on her. But was she ready to act on it?

  ***

  With a strong embrace and a few comforting words, Zach sent Simone off to her destiny. He’d had to pull several strings to get her into one of the country’s best rehab centers, but it was all worth it if she came out of it and stayed clean. He had a feeling this time was the charm.

  When Deborah stepped into the room, he took a moment to catch his breath before he spoke. She was having that effect on him more and more. “Ready?”

  “As I ever am.”

  He held up his hand. “With attitude like that, you won’t help yourself.”

  “I know,” she sighed. “I just feel so foolish.”

  “We’ve already discussed that. There is no need for you to feel foolish and doing so only gives him a leg up. Are you ready?” he asked again.

  She stiffened her back, held up her head. “Yes.”

  “Better. Now, a little Q and A before we begin. “Why did you have trouble shopping today?”

  She drew in a deep breath. “I was determined to do it. I kept telling myself as I was driving to the mall that I could do it. But the instant I walked through the first door, my body froze.”

  “Why?”

  She ran a hand through her hair. “I saw all the people inside, and my mind went wild. He could be anywhere among them. He could be hiding anywhere and I wouldn’t know it until he jumped out and grabbed me. It’s always that way when I enter any place.”

  “Because he grabbed you when you entered your apartment?”

  She made a visible effort to swallow as she nodded.

  “Tell me exactly what happened that day. Start with standing outside your door.”

  With a heavy intake of breath, Deborah expelled it as she began. “I’d insisted Bruce go be with his girlfriend. He hadn’t seen her in weeks, and I knew he missed her terribly. He was reluctant, but I convinced him to go. I think we both figured I wa
s safe once I entered my building. James, the doorman, greeted us and—”

  “How did the abductor get past the doorman?

  He signed in as a delivery person. Anyway—” She cleared her throat and continued. “I got to my suite, put the key into the lock, turned it and opened the door. I closed it behind me and that was when he…came at me. He was standing in the kitchen which was to my left.”

  “What did you do?”

  “Nothing. I stood there like a frozen fool just staring at him.”

  “What did he do?” He could tell the conversation was making her uneasy but he needed to prod on.

  “He spoke….Said, “Finally, I have you,” then grabbed my arm and yanked me against his chest and slapped his other hand over my mouth.”

  “And you…?”

  “Did nothing. What’s the point to this, Zach? I already told you I did nothing and that was why he was able to grab me and tie me down onto the bed and…What’s the point?”

  “That is what we need to work on first. Your fear of entry. Go out into the hall, then come back in. Don’t knock. Pretend this is your home.”

  “Zach—”

  He took her face in his hand, leaned in and brushed his lips across hers in a soft kiss meant to dull her mind. “Trust me.” And from the looks of it, he’d managed to cloud it for a brief moment.

  Turning, she left the room and Zach rushed to the door, and shut off the lights. He had night vision so he was able to see every move she made. When she opened the door and saw it was dark, he saw her hesitate. In a quick move, he darted in front of her and grabbed her arm.

  She froze to the spot.

  He pulled her into his arms and still she didn’t make a move or even so much as whimper. “Scream, Deborah.”

  “I…I can’t.”

  “Yes you can. Scream.” The sound she made was barely a whimper. “Use your gut, Deborah. Scream.”

  “Zach—”

  “Scream!” He pushed her back against the wall, his hand around her throat. This time, she did. And it nearly split his eardrums. In less than twenty seconds, one of his guards came racing down the hallway toward them. Zach released his grip on her neck and flicked the light on.