I grind my teeth, fucked off Torch has ratted me out. We’ve been friends for years, even before we joined the Blood Brothers MC, and he tells the club about Lexi?
“Why you fuckin’—”
“Shut the fuck up, Rhyder,” Prez yells. “If anyone’s going to know why you’ve been acting strange the last few months, then it’s Torch. We questioned him for a solid hour before he gave us an answer. Now take a fuckin’ seat so we can get church started.”
I inhale and narrow my eyes on Torch before I take my seat next to him. The other brothers are grinning, and some are having a good laugh.
Yeah, fuck you, boys.
“Rhyder?”
I look up at Prez and nod.
“You and I are gonna have words after church. Right now, I need your head here. You got me?” he asks, stabbing his finger on the table.
“I got you.”
“Good.” He turns around and continues, “Tomorrow morning we head out to Vegas to help the Sinners, who have a gun deal going down with the Rattlesnakes’ crew. You all know what’s going down. I just wanna make sure you’re all good with what we’re there to do? No blood will be shed unless I give the word.” Prez takes a minute to look at each and every one of us then says, “This club has been through too much, and the last thing we need is for the Rattlesnakes to be added to the list. We are doing this as a favor to Tate and out of respect for Tracker.”
The Rattlesnakes are a South American crew who smuggle guns for the Mexican Cartel. The Sinners have been dealing weapons with them, but they want out as they’re always bailing out on delivery and come up short. The Sinners sell the guns in Nevada and other states which brings in another income for the club. This was a business that the Blood Brothers used to deal in along with coke, but that was before Quill was our prez. The clubhouse earned good money then, but from what I heard, they were in all sorts of trouble, and there were too many wars between other motorcycle clubs. Quill turned this club around for the good, and we make our money through other businesses like Mike’s Bar and Black Panthers, which is a stripper club the Blood Brothers own.
Prez said we weren’t going to do any business that involved illegal activity, but it seems the more we don’t want in, the more we get dragged into it. Just like what we’re doing for the Sinners right now. We don’t usually get involved, but since it’s for Tate—he said he needs more men and basically more muscle in case things go sour when they try to pull out of the partnership—we are in to help.
The Rattlesnakes have a reputation. Their leader, Big Pete, is a scary motherfucker. I’ve seen him once at one of the Sinners’ club parties, and he and his gang are not people you want to fuck around with. Let’s just hope everything goes smoothly because if it doesn’t, it looks like guns will be a-blazing.
Prez continues, “Tate has been there for our club in the past. I don’t need to remind you of that. So, we let the Sinners take control, then if we’re needed, we will be there as backup. Anyone got any questions?”
The room is silent.
“Good. Our flight leaves tomorrow at eight in the morning. Then Tate and his boys will pick us up from the airport. So, boys, get your rest.” Prez then looks at me and says, “That includes you, Rhyder. You will be on time,” he states while pointing at me.
I don’t say anything. I simply nod.
“Good. Anyone else got somethin’ to say?”
“No, Prez,” a few reply.
I rub my finger over the woodgrain table as I realize I’m not going to see Lexi tonight. Listen to me talking like I’ve got plans with her. The boys would have a field day if they knew I’ve been following an eighteen-year-old girl around who’s barely out of high school.
The gavel is slammed down on the table announcing church is out. The brothers rise and head out to the main room, and I stay seated waiting for Prez to have another talking to me. I know I haven’t been around much lately, and that’s not like me, I’m one of the only single brothers in this clubhouse, and if I’m not in my room fucking some whore, then I’m out front at the bar having a drink or talking to other whores.
What can I say? I’m in my prime, and a man’s got to eat pussy.
Prez sits back in his chair with his arms folded and his eyes curious. “You gonna tell me what’s up with you lately, brother?”
I sit back in my chair looking everywhere but at him.
“I know something’s going on… I mean, fuck, Brittany’s been in here every day this week looking for you. I thought you two had something going on?”
My eyebrows pull together like this is news to me. “Somethin’ goin’ on? She’s a dancer at Black Panthers, the only thing we have goin’ on is fuckin’. Nothin’ more.”
Prez smiles. “Yeah, well, thought she was different. She’s the only one I seen hangin’ around you. No other girl.”
Thinking for a moment, I run both hands down my face. He’s right, I’ve only been with Brittany over the last few months. She gives good head, but she’s not the woman I want right now. “Prez, believe me, Brittany’s an easy lay. That’s it. This man ain’t ever gonna commit to one girl.”
Prez laughs so loud it echoes around the room.
I smile. “What’s so funny? Have you seen this face?” I ask, pointing to myself. “This body?” I continue, flexing my arms and showing off my biceps. “Come on… women should all have their share, don’t you think? It’s a waste to only give it up to one girl.”
Prez laughs again. “Oh, Rhyder… I can’t wait till the time comes when you’re ready to settle down. I’m gonna remind you of those words.”
“There’s gonna be no need to remind me. Now can we stop talkin’ about settlin’ down, man, you’re makin’ me feel all dizzy and shit.”
Smirking, Prez then turns serious. “Tell me about this Lexi? Is she another one of your admirers?”
I scratch the stubble on my jaw, wondering how much I should tell him. It’s not as if I don’t trust my prez or the club, it’s just if I talk about it, it means it’s real, and I’m not sure I want to talk about Lexi just yet. I want to keep her to myself.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Prez gets up and walks toward me, then leans against the table. “I know that look, brother.”
I frown. “What look?”
“You like this one, don’t you?”
I release a breath and admit, running my fingers over the grain of the table. “Yeah, I do. Not sure what these feelings are,” I reply in all seriousness.
“Brother, you’re gone! Welcome to the fucked-up world of being in love.”
I push off my seat, it tips slightly with the force and stand facing him. “Whoa, whoa, no one said anythin’ about love. I like her, all right. There’s somethin’ about her. She’s different, and—”
“And what?” Prez asks.
“And… she’s… I don’t know,” I say looking down at my boots that need a damn good cleaning. She’s not mine to have.” I spit the words out like acid. “She’s different, man.” I place my hands into my front pockets. “She’s rich and shit. Lives the good life with all the trimmings,” I explain, raising my hand.
“And?”
“What do you mean… and? I’m a biker, Prez. I’m not good enough for a chick who lives on the other side of town. Has some driver who drives her around. Has a surgeon for a father, and a house that’s ten times the size of this clubhouse. Nah…” I say, feeling defeated, “… she doesn’t belong in our world.”
I go to sit, but before I do, he stops me. “You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me. I know you didn’t know Jasmine before I met her, or Luisa before Hawke married her, and oh… and what about Charity, Trigger’s wife, don’t you think we all felt that they didn’t belong in our world?” he asks as his eyes narrow in on mine. “Yeah, that’s right,” he says, taking a step forward. “Jasmine ran a fuckin’ florist business and was the girl-next-door type, brother. And you know what I did when she didn’t want in on our life?”
I
raise my brows, a little intrigued. “Nah, what?”
“I didn’t give her a choice. I wanted her, and I wasn’t gonna take no for an answer. Even if she did run away, I always dragged her back.”
I laugh. Fuck! I’d heard stories about Jasmine and Quill before they got married, and all the shit they went through to be together. They’ve been through hell and back, but from the looks of how happy they are, it’s all worth it. They have that love story—the love story you only see in movies. Then Hawke followed and found his woman. Fuck, even Trigger and Blaze have their happily ever after.
Could I really have that with someone like Lexi?
No, not someone like Lexi but with Lexi?
Is it possible?
“There it is.”
I’m brought back to the present. “There’s what?”
“The realization hitting you that you could also have what you want.”
I smirk at him. “How’d you do that, brother?”
“It’s a gift. What can I say? I know women.”
I chuckle, remembering how Jasmine came to the clubhouse last night dragging Quill’s ass home because it was his turn to put the kids to bed while she went out with the girls.
Yeah, he’s pussy-whipped.
“Listen, Prez, I appreciate the advice and all, but this ain’t gonna happen with Lexi and me. There’s too much that’s happened with her… the last thing she needs is a man like me in her life.”
“That why you’ve been following her?”
I whip my head up to his.
Well, fuck! Maybe the prez knows more than I thought.
“Exactly what has Torch told you?” I question, folding my arms, angry now that I trusted him.
Prez takes a seat in the nearby chair, and I do the same facing him. “Torch told us how he got a call from you to help out with some girl who was in trouble, and you needed the club’s van. Said when he got there, you took her to the hospital and shit. You catch the fuckers that did that shit to her?”
I tense my fists. The number of times I’ve stayed up at night wishing I hadn’t let those fuckers go so easily, sends me into a rage. How I should have beaten them to death, or better yet, cut their fucking dicks off. But, at the time, Lexi needed me, and I had to get her to a hospital. I still have the fucker’s name and address embedded in my brain. I could still do it. The fucker lives a few hours away, and I could get it done in a day. The assholes probably thought they’d come for a weekend to fuck up some poor girl’s life and leave without a trace, well, maybe I can change all that and fuck up their lives.
“Rhyder?”
“Oh, um… yeah, I caught them. They live out in Massachusetts. I threatened to find and kill them if I ever saw their ugly mugs around our neighborhood again. I should have fuckin’ did more, but there were more pressin’ issues.”
“Sounds like you’re her hero.”
“Come on, Prez, don’t go spittin’ out fairy tales, anyone would have done what I did.”
“Nah,” he says, shaking his head. “No, they wouldn’t. She was lucky you were there.”
I nod. “Don’t know if you’d call it lucky. The girl can’t get rid of me now, I can’t help but wonder if she’s okay all the fuckin’ time. She must think what a nutcase I am.”
“She knows you’re there? Watching out?”
“Didn’t think she did until today when she looked over at me and smiled.” I replay the vision of her in my mind with that sweet smile on her face and how she looked at me with a knowing stare like she’s known all along I’ve been watching out for her.
“Yeah, brother. Here’s some advice from one man to the other.” I lean in closer ready to hear. “Don’t think too much. If you want her, make it happen.”
Prez gets up and heads toward the church door. Turning to face me, he says, “No regrets.” He opens the door and leaves.
I can hear the boys outside, the music’s blaring, and they are all enjoying themselves.
Make it happen. No regrets. I think on those words for a few seconds and come back to my senses. I’m fucking dreaming.
I stand, shake my head, and walk out into the main room, needing to have a word with my boy, Torch.
LEXI
“Lexi, you have to come, it won’t be the same without you. It’s our last weekend in the city. Come on… please,” Diane begs over the phone. I don’t know how to tell her I can’t go, the thought of going out makes my skin crawl. Fear hits deep in the pit of my stomach at the image of being out of the house. I hardly go out these days, I can’t leave the sanctity of my safe place. I only go to school and then back home, and today, I had lunch with my parents, Paige, and my girls where I felt secure.
“I’m sorry, Diane, I just can’t.” Tears blur my vision as the memory of what happened to me last time comes screaming back into my mind. I’ve learned my lesson, believe me, I have, and the thought of being around men, even in general, frightens me to death.
“I promised I’d babysit Paige for my parents. They have plans tonight.”
“Now I know you’re lying. Your dad said he had the night shift tonight. I was at lunch, remember? Come on, Lexi. This could be the last time we’re out together with us now going to different colleges. We won’t see each other all the time. Please?”
I bite down on my bottom lip, torn between the fear of being around strangers and the fact that I don’t want to let my friends down.
“Come on, Lexi. Do it for me.”
I sigh and let out a long breath. “Okay, fine… I’ll go.”
Diane squeals. “Great. I’ll be there in an hour. Wear something hot.”
I don’t reply. Wearing something hot is the last thing on my mind. There’s no way I am going to attract any male attention, but If I say that, Diane will know something’s up.
In the past, looking hot was a must. We would always try and outdo each other, and most of the time, Diane would be over at my house with clothes in her bag for me to wear because she’s always said my clothes are too conservative.
I know I should tell Diane and Stacey about what happened that night, but I just can’t. The thought of them with pity on their faces kills me. I know I was naïve to be out alone, and I don’t need my best friends telling me exactly that. Believe me, I know how stupid it was, and now I will have to live with that decision for the rest of my life.
“Who knows, maybe tonight’s the night you meet your prince charming and lose your virginity. We know you and Zane didn’t do the deed, so maybe tonight’s your night.”
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
I feel my body tremble, and my knees buckle which causes me to sit on the edge of my bed.
Deep breaths, I tell myself as I feel a cold sweat wash over me.
“Lexi, are you there?”
Not wanting to give out any hint that something’s wrong, I quickly clear my throat and say, “Hey, I gotta go. I’ll see you later.”
“Okay, see you soon. Oh my God, honestly, I can’t wait.”
Pressing ‘end’ on my cell, I sit for a minute gathering my thoughts. I can’t believe how much my life has changed since that night, how one awful trauma has ruined me for life. I can never look at another man. Well, maybe Rhyder is an exception, and I do see him in a nice way, but losing my virginity was supposed to be special, something I had envisioned happening when I found that one guy I wanted to give it to, the guy who I loved and would have loved me back. But now, that’s in the past because the reality is I lost my virginity to a man I don’t even know, a man who took my innocence while his two friends held me down and watched. A man whose breath was filled with alcohol and smothered me in it as he grunted with each thrust.
It hurt. It hurt so bad, and for days afterward, I could still feel the sting. I had to lie to my family and tell them that I had the stomach flu and couldn’t get out of bed. It was an excuse I used as to why I couldn’t go to school for a few days. I even had to hide why I walked weirdly, and when they asked, I told them it was bec
ause I took too many cycling classes and injured my thigh muscles.
If they knew what happened to me that night, I wouldn’t be going to Harvard, they would most likely make me defer for a year, so I can deal with what happened.
I can’t.
I can’t think about it.
I don’t want to think about it.
I want things to go back to the way they were before that night.
How did I become this version of me?
I stand and walk to my mirror looking at my reflection, noticing the once-carefree girl who had excitement in her eyes to now being ripped bare of anything other than fear. Surrounding my mirror, I look at the pictures of me with my friends, me with Zane, my eighteenth birthday party earlier this year, and images of me with my parents and Paige.
What am I doing?
Why am I feeling so sorry for myself? I told myself I wouldn’t do this.
Come on, Lexi. You’re stronger than this. You can’t let what happened dictate your whole life.
With a heavy knowing sigh, I realize I need to move on and embrace life again. I still have a future to look forward to. I’ve been accepted into Harvard to study medicine, and I have great friends and a great family. Surely, I can get past this. There’s more to me than one defining moment.
Wiping away tears and wondering how I’m going to pull off going out tonight, I continue to stand at my mirror for what seems like hours. I’ve done well so far, hiding the fact that I’m scared to death to go out anywhere. What’s one night out? I take a deep breath and try not to think about the consequences or how it will turn out.
With one last look at myself in the mirror, even though I’m dressed in my dark denim jeans, ankle boots, and a black off-the-shoulder top, I still look pretty good. Diane won’t approve, I know this. She’ll turn her nose up at me when she sees what I’m wearing, but there’s no way I’m changing into anything revealing, I don’t want any unwanted attention. Walking over, I pick up my lip gloss from my desk and apply a little. I’ve never been one for lots of makeup, it’s just not me. Diane and Stacey, on the other hand, love makeup, and I have to admit, sometimes they go a little overboard, but it’s not me. Just a touch of mascara, lip gloss, and bronzer is all I need.
Lexi, Property of Rhyder: A Motorcycle Club Romance (Blood Brothers MC Book 6) Page 2
