Deciding Love (Bloomfield #3)

by Janelle Stalder

  The guys all talked and laughed, but all I could do was follow her around the restaurant with my eyes. Every man in the place looked at her with lustful eyes, not that she seemed to notice. She was so damn sweet. She smiled and laughed with people in a way that was simple and genuine, not overly flirtatious like the other girls.

  Anytime she came back to our table, she wouldn’t look at me. It was really starting to get on my nerves. I needed to get her alone again so I could force her to look at me. Even if it was just to say, go to hell, at least it was something.

  When I spotted her disappear down the hall to the washrooms, I decided now was my only chance. Without saying a word to the other guys, I headed after her, my mind set on only one thing.

  It was time to get my girl.

  33

  Chloe

  I stared at my reflection, giving myself a stern pep talk.

  “Ignore him, Chloe,” I said out loud. “He means nothing. He doesn’t deserve you. You can do this.”

  Taking a deep breath, I pulled uselessly on the hem of the ridiculous shorts I had on, hoping to cover my ass. Then I gave myself one more, you got this, look before heading out of the washroom. Only to stop dead in my tracks.

  Kyle leaned against the wall across from me, his arms crossed across his chest, showing off his thick arms. He was all in black, as per usual, and it made him look dark and dangerous. He was so hot. I hated him.

  Having him here was making my second shift hell. I had avoided looking at him for the most part, but I knew he’d been watching. The hairs on the back of my neck had been on end this whole time, knowing that his eyes were on me.

  Why couldn’t he just leave me be? Did he watch all his flings like this?

  I met his gaze for a second before looking away. It was too hard. Every time I got caught in his gaze, all the tender moments we’d had together would come flying back.

  I glanced down the hall, praying for someone to come down and save me, but it was just the two of us. I finally turned back to him, shifting from foot to foot.

  “How is it, that after everything we’ve done together, you’re so nervous around me?” He said, breaking the silence between us.

  “Who says I’m nervous around you?” I countered.

  “Why do you look like you’re seconds away from bolting then?”

  I gave him a hard smile. “Because I don’t like you,” I replied. “This is just me anxious to be away from you, not because you make me nervous.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You don’t like me, huh?”

  “Did you expect any different?”

  He pressed his lips together before pushing off the wall. “Not really,” he admitted. “Although, I didn’t expect you to be a liar all of a sudden.”

  He took a step toward me. I took an involuntary one back, hitting the door behind me. His body crowded me as he stepped closer again, his chest only inches from mine. His masculine scent filled my nostrils as I breathed in deeply. He smelled so good, I wanted to lean in closer.

  “W-why am I liar?” I managed.

  His head tilted toward mine, and against my better judgement, I lifted mine so that our lips drew closer.

  Do not kiss him, Chloe, I shouted at myself. It was hard to hear over the racing beat of my heart. I knew I shouldn’t want to kiss him, but at the same time it was all I could think about.

  Kyle was always the best kisser. I couldn’t help but miss it.

  He hurt you! He’s an asshole!

  Yeah, but he was an asshole that knew how to kiss.

  “You’re a liar because I can see how much your body wants to be close to mine. It’s not anxious at all to get away.” He reached out, stroking a finger along my collarbone. I shivered, my breath stuttering out my parted lips.

  “Do you really hate me?” He whispered.

  “Yes,” I whispered back.

  His lips lifted in a crooked grin for a split second before they met mine. It wasn’t a tentative kiss that one might expect as a first kiss. Because this wasn’t our first kiss, even though it had been over half a year since the last time.

  No, his mouth took mine as if he owned it. Like I was his. I moaned loudly as his tongue swept into my mouth, and before I knew what I was doing, my hands were gripping his shirt tightly, pulling him closer.

  All my composure flew out the window as he pressed himself tightly against me, his obvious arousal straining through his jeans. I moved my hands up his chest and around his neck to grip the hairs at his nape. He growled against my lips as I used my grip to pull him against me even tighter. I’d never felt this needy in my life. Every sensitive part of me was aching for release. For Kyle. Only he could fix this feeling inside me.

  Shit. What was I doing?

  I ripped my mouth away from his, our breaths mingling as we panted.

  “Chloe,” he said, his voice that gravelly sound that always happened when he was aroused.

  “We can’t do this,” I said, untangling my fingers from his hair, and pushing at his chest until he took a step back. “I can’t do this. Not again.”

  “Chlo-”

  I held up a hand. “Stop, Kyle. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Shame on me, right? I’m not going to let you hurt me again. I’ve learned my lesson.”

  He ran a hand through his hair, his breathing still coming out fast. Those dark eyes looked at me in a pleading way.

  “It’s not going to happen again, Chloe,” he said. “I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

  “I’ve heard that before, remember? I was different,” I said with a sad smile. Tears burned the back of my throat and it made me hate him even more. I was done crying over him. I didn’t want to be doing this again. Especially not here at work, when his friends were sitting out there waiting for me to serve them.

  “You are different,” he insisted, taking a step toward me.

  I shook my head. “No I’m not. No one is when it comes to you. Because you’re not different. You’re the same Kyle Briggs that everyone gets. The one who rocks your world for a couple of weeks and then throws you away.”

  He flinched. “I’m not like that anymore. I want to give this another go.”

  “No,” I said firmly.

  He looked at me as though I had just slapped him. Part of me wanted to feel bad, but I knew I shouldn’t. He deserved this. And I knew everything he was saying was bullshit.

  Because if I really was different, he could have never gone and slept with someone else the same day he had slept with me. I would never forget that betrayal. He might think he wants me back now, but I was sure it was just because he hadn’t seen me in a while. Once he had me again, he’d grow bored and go back to his usual ways. Who knew how many girls he’d been with since I’d left.

  I took a few steps toward the end of the hall while looking at him. He seemed surprisingly speechless as he stood there, his hands clenching and unclenching at his side.

  “Please leave me alone,” I said. I turned my back on him, walking away, but not before hearing his soft reply.

  “I don’t know if I can.”

  If Thursday’s events weren’t enough to ruin my week, Friday certainly sealed the deal.

  I was waiting in the line at the drugstore, my arms full of shampoo and other beauty products, when I heard someone say hello from behind me. I’d turned, expecting to see someone from school. It wasn’t.

  I almost dropped the items I was holding when I recognized the girl, Perrie, standing there with a nervous smile on her face.

  “You’re Colt Morgan’s sister, right?” She said.

  I nodded, my voice long gone.

  “I’m Perrie.”

  I cleared my throat, nodding. “I remember.”

  Her face took on a look of regret as she glanced away for a second. As much as I hated her, I couldn’t deny that she was gorgeous. She’d died her hair a silver grey that seemed to work with her warm skin tone. Her lips were the colour of coral, and her green eyes were lined with a thick, black liner,
giving her a cat eyed shape.

  She was so put together and had this air about her. It was no wonder Kyle had wanted her over me. I must have seemed like such an immature little girl next to her.

  The awkward tension between us was painful as we simply stared at one another, neither knowing what to say. I was surprised she had even greeted me, all things considered.

  Without knowing what else to do, I turned back around, praying the two people in front of me would hurry up so I could get out of here.

  “Um,” I heard her say.

  I faced her again.

  “Look,” she said, clearly as uncomfortable as I was. “I just saw you, and I felt like I needed to clear something up. I know it’s awkward, but I’ve felt really bad ever since...that day.”

  I waited.

  She took a deep breath, glancing around again. “I don’t know what the deal was exactly between you and Kyle, but I just thought I should let you know that nothing happened between us.”

  I was going to be sick. I didn’t want to have this conversation, because now all I could do was picture the two of them together, and it hurt so much.

  “Okay,” I said weakly. I went to turn again, but her hand on my arm stopped me.

  “I know you have no reason to believe me, but I’m not lying. Nothing happened, that day or any day for that matter. Kyle and I...we’ve never...you know. It’s not like that between us.”

  They had never been together? Then why...?

  “But he said...”

  “I know,” she said, frowning. “I should have said something right then and there, but I was as shocked as you were by his behavior. I was so mad at him after, I haven’t spoken to him since.”

  Wow. This was not what I expected her to say.

  “Look, I’ve known Kyle for a long time, and he has his share of issues. I don’t know why he purposely pushed you away, but I just thought it was important for you to know that he didn’t sleep with me or anyone else that night. He showed up at my place drunk and upset about his mom. Then he passed out. I swear to you, that’s all that happened. I just...thought you should know.”

  “Next,” the cashier said loudly.

  I jumped, realizing it was me she was yelling at. I placed my items on the belt and turned back to Perrie as the lady rang everything up.

  “Thanks for letting me know,” I said, meaning it. “I appreciate your honesty.”

  She gave me a small smile before walking away. Now I just had to figure out why Kyle had lied about it.

  He hadn’t cheated on me that night. No, instead he had just wanted me to think he had, effectively pushing me away. Why would he do that? As relieved as I was that he hadn’t actually slept with someone else, I was still just as angry as before.

  He had made me hate him and I was going to find out why. But first, I needed to make an important phone call just to make sure Perrie really was telling the truth.

  It was storming by the time I made it out of the store and to my car. I was soaked as I slipped in behind the steering wheel, shaking out my arms and legs. Turning on the car, I blasted the heat as I sat there and reached for my cellphone. Pushing the contact at the top of my list, I waited.

  “Hey, girl,” Cat said as soon as she picked up. “What are you doing?”

  “Sitting in a parking lot,” I answered.

  “Sounds like fun.”

  “Not as much fun as it was to run into Kyle’s friend, Perrie, at the drug store.”

  Cat went deathly quiet.

  “Cat?”

  “Yeah, I’m still here.”

  “Did you hear what I said?”

  “Yeah,” she said, her voice sounding sad now. “Chlo, whatever she said to you, I just want to go on record as saying that Perrie really is a nice girl. We’ve known her family for years. She and Kyle have been friends for a long time.”

  “So I hear,” I said.

  “Oh god. What did she say?”

  “She just shed some light on a few things.”

  Cat went silent again. Did she know? A nagging suspicion filled my gut as I listened to my best friend simply breathe on the other end. Normally she would have been asking me questions. But she wasn’t. That spoke volumes to me.

  “Did you know, Cat?”

  “Know what?”

  “That he had lied that day? That Kyle and Perrie hadn’t slept together like he wanted me to think?”

  She sighed, and I knew the answer before she even said it.

  “Yeah, I knew. Kyle and Perrie aren’t like that, so I figured it out right away.”

  “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because it wasn’t my place. Kyle was pushing you away, and so I let him. He was making a huge mistake, but the only way he could learn from it was to let him do it.”

  My cheeks were suddenly wet and I realized I was crying again.

  “I was so hurt,” I said, my voice cracking.

  “I know, Chloe,” she said. “I’m so sorry. I was just trying to stay out of it, you know? I didn’t like seeing you hurt, but I also felt like I had to let Kyle make his own bed.”

  I sniffed, trying to stem the tears that kept falling. “So he really didn’t sleep with her?”

  “Sweetie, he hasn’t been with anyone since you.”

  What? My stomach bottomed out. What the hell was Kyle doing? He had ruined us for nothing? He wasn’t even going about his usual ways? And now he was trying to get back together with me? I didn’t understand any of this. The word why just kept repeating in my mind.

  I wiped at my cheeks and took a deep breath. “Where is he?”

  I drove through the wet streets, my hands gripping the wheel as I made my way to the mechanics Kyle used to work at. Sure enough, he was there, his upper body bent over the hood of his car just outside the shop, his back soaked from the rain pouring down on him.

  I pulled up beside him, slamming the door loudly as I got out. His head snapped up, his eyes widening when he saw it was me. I marched around the front of my car toward him, anger making every part of me shake.

  “Why?” I shouted over the pouring rain. My hair was already plastered to my head, water dripping into my eyes and mouth. I didn’t even want to look and see what my clothes looked like.

  He blinked against the rain, watching me with lowered brows. “Why, what?”

  “Why did you do it? Push me away for no reason?” I demanded. “I spoke to Perrie. I know the truth.”

  His mouth flattened.

  I stepped closer, poking his chest angrily. “You lied. You hurt me on purpose. I want to know why, Kyle. I deserve to know.”

  He looked down at where my finger hit his chest and then lifted his head to meet my eyes. I could see the blatant desire there, and suddenly I wasn’t freezing anymore. My body was on fire even as the rain poured on us.

  “I thought...” He glanced away, running a hand down his face. “I thought it was better that way.”

  “Better?” I dropped my arm, feeling the fight drain from me. “You thought it was better to hurt me and break my heart than to just be happy with me? Was it so bad being in love?”

  His nostrils flared as his eyes widened. Was he going to deny that that was what had been growing between us? Would he break me all over again? I braced myself as he opened his mouth.

  34

  Kyle

  I didn’t know what to say. Chloe was in front of me, soaked from head to toe, her face filled with anguish, and I didn’t know what to say to ease it. Confronted with my own stupidity, I realized there was nothing I could say that would make sense now.

  “I’m sorry, Chloe,” I offered weakly, reaching for her. I just needed to hold her, touch her.

  She slapped at my hands. “You’re sorry? That’s your answer? You’re sorry?”

  Tears mixed with the rain on her face, and my chest suddenly felt like it was going to crack wide open. I reached for her again even though she continued to try to push me away.

  Gripping her hips, I pul
led her against me, murmuring the entire time, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

  Her tiny body shook with tears as her fists hit my chest, growing weaker as her head fell forward to rest against me. I tightened my hold around her.

  “Please forgive me. Nothing is better in this world than falling in love with you. Nothing.”

  A sob broke from her as she shook her head back and forth.

  “I hate you,” she said.

  “No you don’t,” I said gently.

  “You broke my heart. You hurt me. I hate you. I do, I hate you.”

  I tipped her chin up so I could look into her beautiful eyes, wiping the tears and water off her cheeks. “You don’t hate me, Chloe. And I don’t hate you. I love you. You’re everything that’s good, and I’m not. But you make me better, stronger. And I’ll never push you away again. I was stupid and confused, but I know now what I want, and it’s you. Just you. Forever.”

  Her glassy eyes searched mine. It killed me to see her hesitation, knowing she didn’t trust me fully. But I’d earn it. I’d do whatever it took to get her to trust me again.

  Leaning forward, I took her lips, relief washing over me the instant she responded. We were both soaking, the water mixing with our kiss as I devoured her, but neither of us cared. All that mattered was I had her in my arms again. And this time I was not going to let her walk away.

  Her arms wrapped around my neck as she moaned into the kiss. I deepened it further, wanting to brand her as mine as much as I wanted her to brand me.

  She started to shiver in my hold, breaking me out of my lust filled haze. Picking her up, I headed to my car, forcing her to sit on my lap as I got into the driver’s seat.

  Her legs straddled me as our mouths found each other’s again. We were frantic, our hands roaming. I lifted her wet shirt, breaking apart to tear it over her head. Chloe grabbed mine, doing the same leaving us skin to skin. She couldn’t stop shivering as I kissed along the tops of her breasts. God how I missed the taste and feel of her. Just the sight of her in her bra was enough to drive me mad.