Declan nodded, and said, "I haven't got much choice, have I, if I am marooned here."
Aidanna, hurt, replied, "You could always stay in the cloister."
"What about you? You could go there with me, instead of living in that tiny cave."
"No, I'm better off here. I need freedom and solitude, and it isn't safe for the others if Donal started to look for me there."
Declan's anger over her seeming betrayal of his trust suddenly dissipated in the face of his concern for her safety. "That's just one more reason why you shouldn't be out here on your own."
Aidanna thought he sounded almost as if he couldn't bear to part with her. "I've been here on my own many times, to sit and think, swim. Being alone holds no fears for me, nor the solitude of my own thoughts. But clearly you have much on your mind, so I shall either leave you alone, or, perhaps you should go to the cloister, meet Diarmuid. You'll like him a great deal, I'm sure. He is your kinsman, after all, and I think he needs some strong male guidance, an example to look up to. Angus never had much time for him. He always thought Diarmuid was too scholarly."
"Will you come, then?"
Aidanna shook her head. "I think I've interfered enough, as you see it. But I will gladly row you out if you like."
"I can row myself. No need to trouble yourself."
"No trouble at all, and best to make sure you don't get caught by any more powerful undercurrents." She winked.
He didn't smile at the small joke as he would once have done. "Aye, I suppose that's best. You'll need the boat for your fishing anyway," he agreed reluctantly.
"I'll come over to visit in a few days and see how you're all getting on," Aidanna said, trying not to sound hurt as she realised he was leaving her as quickly as he possibly could now that he had found out the whole truth. This time Declan was actually condemning her without a trial.
Well, it had been wonderful while it had lasted, she thought with a bitter pang. But she had been a fool to ever think that Declan and she could ever have had a future together.
They made the trip to the main island in silence. After a brief explanation to her uncle that Declan now knew everything, she introduced Declan to Diarmuid, who looked at the huge man shyly, but soon began to show him his seashell collection and favourite books just like an old friend.
Aidanna slipped quietly out of the library, feeling like an intruder, and it was only as she pushed the boat away from the jetty that Declan came running out, and called, "Aidanna, where are you going?"
"I told you, back to the cave!' she answered, without a pause in her rowing.
Declan stood the shore perplexed.
She had done as she had said, as he had seemed to want. Why did he look so surprised and at a loss? She raised a hand to wave goodbye, but once again, he stared at her inscrutably as she disappeared from his view.
CHAPTER NINE
True to her word, Aidanna did not return to the monastery for several days. As much as she longed to be with him, she knew she needed to allow Declan some time on his own, to speak to others, and learn the truth about all that had been happening. And all that could happen to the entire province of Connaught if Donal tried to pursue his ambition of becoming the chief of the Burke clan, and the representatives of Henry VIII tried to force the Gaelic chiefs to conform to English law.
There was also the question of the one true church, for the Irish had remained staunchly Catholic, and uncertainty over the state of the newly-formed so-called Church of England once Henry died was at the forefront of many people's minds, particularly her uncle Ruairi's. They had heard the horror stories of the English greed for treasure and complete disregard for learning and tradition which had destroyed many of the finest religious houses in England, as Henry's officials had enriched their own coffers at the Pope's expense.
The extent of the disaster caused by the dissolution of the monasteries was not only confined to the sacred vessels and relics, however, for those priests who had refused to turn to the Anglican faith had been executed, or had fled into exile. Furthermore, the Church had been one of the major landlords in England, but now scores of tenantry were forced to wander homeless from place to place, seeking a meagre subsistence on the land, or worse still, swelling the ever growing cities such as London, vainly searching for work, or any means of subsistence.
Aidanna could see all too plainly what would happen if Donal Burke were to become tanaist of his sept. Connaught would be full of homeless people, and if he pressed his claim upon the O'Flaherty succession, many would starve, and their whole way of life would be destroyed.
She hoped her uncle would be able to make Declan see reason, and if not accept the position of tanaist outright, then support the rightful claims of Diarmuid, and bring Donal to trial for the murders of Angus, Malachi and even Sean Burke.
As she entered the library, she overheard the two men talking about politics, and moved around the room quietly, looking over Diarmuid's shoulder as he copied a manuscript.
"But that is impossible!" Declan was arguing. "Every ruler has a flaw, a weakness. It is in the nature of things for the ruler to wish to remain in power, and the weak to give in to that power."
"You're underestimating the Irish desire for freedom, my dear boy. If the power is used unwisely, they will rebel. In any case, why change things in the first place? As I am sure Aidanna has told you, Brehon law provides for everyone. No one starves in the streets, begs from place to place for a mere crust, gets hung or branded for stealing a loaf of bread. So long as they have obeyed the clan laws, they will never lack for anything.
"I've been to London, my son, and I have seen first-hand the distress and poverty, with people like you wearing a tunic the price of which would support an entire family for twenty years," Ruairi pointed out mildly.
"The English way forward is progress and prosperity for all. It may be a painful period of transition from one system to the next, but power should rest in the hands of one man."
"And what if that man proves to be corrupt?" Ruairi persisted.
"English rule of law will ensure that all are treated fairly," Declan declared.
Aidanna burst out in exasperation, "How can you be so sure? More to the point, how do you expect these people, who have already lost much at the hands of the Norman invaders centuries ago, to accept another invasion. Maybe not so violent a one, but still an invasion, a destruction of all their laws, and even a threat to their very existence!"
Declan stared at her challengingly, urging her to continue.
"We Irish are part of a culture which stood long before the Romans ever appeared, a culture so old it even fascinated the ancient Greeks. The Celts were a warlike people, who conquered wherever they travelled, and then settled down to till the soil, build houses, adopt customs which were compatible with the Celtic way of life. They did not seek to travel all over the old and new worlds, enslaving all other peoples who did not conform to their way of life, as the Spaniards do. They have been bringing back amazing treasures at the cost of how many lives? The conquistadors have been enslaving people who, for all we know, may have cultures and civilisations which are even older than the Celtic one," Aidanna argued.
Declan's eyes rested on her as she spoke, and she was relieved to see that his expression warm and friendly, smiling even, no longer hostile and guarded.
"Well said, my dear, but an emotional argument. I can see you will never be a hardheaded trader or soldier."
"She already is," Diarmuid defended her.
Aidanna's cheeks coloured. She was terribly disappointed in his words, but it was no more than she had expected. As with all other men, Declan was being patronising, and she turned to the shelves, as she pulled the books down on by one to prove her arguments.
"I got these when I was in North Africa, Greek books preserved by the Arabs. See for yourself if you don't believe me," she muttered, and then pulled down a volume in Spanish, and another in Portuguese, then several Latin tracts.
"Read this,
and this, and this," she demanded, piling them up in front of him. She misunderstood his flat look at the books as an indication that he was already familiar with her arguments and was summarily dismissing them.
"And finally, have a look at Plato, and see what he says about the philosopher king," she indicated with a flourish. "I doubt Henry VIII or any of his courtiers would satisfy that ideal, and yet you are trying to persuade us that the Burkes and other families in Connaught should accept him unconditionally as their leader?"
Declan remained silent, and Ruairi began to laugh.
"Uncle, really, I would have thought you'd take me seriously, even if Declan doesn't," Aidanna said, wounded.
Both men exploded into uproarious laughter.
Aidanna moved towards the door to leave, her cheeks flaming, but Declan caught her by the hand to pull her closely to him, so that she was trapped between the oaken door and his equally unyielding chest. Her heart hammered in her bosom as she looked up into his glowing amber eyes, and barely heard his words, so fascinated was she with the curve of his sensual lips, the deep cleft in his chin.
"I submit to your superior wisdom and reasoning on the subject. And before you accuse me of humouring you because you are a mere woman, may I just say that I can't read Greek, Spanish, Portuguese or Arabic as you can."
Aidanna finally smiled, and Diarmuid piped up, "I don't want to offend, Uncle Declan, nor do I wish to reproach you for being selected as the head of the clan, but I agree with Aidanna. You have a duty to the family. You need to assert your place as tanaist."
Declan finally released her from his warm embrace, though he took her by the hand and led her to a settle, where he sat down close to her, and pulled her hand and part of her arm into his lap.
"And what makes you so sure I should try to be tanaist, son?"
"Henry won't remain King of England forever," Diarmuid said wisely, "and at any rate he's so far away, it seems foolish to sap the strength of this tightly-knit culture by seeking to imitate one which is already showing signs of unravelling. We are all family, we stand together, and while there are renegades like Uncle Donal, most of us are loyal to the death. The system of fosterage gives us an even wider network of support. Mother married my father to extend this network, and she made a great sacrifice for the good of every single one of the thousands of men, women and children who make up the O'Flaherty household. She sacrificed her personal happiness for the sake of all. If we separate, we fall, but united we can stand firm."
Declan turned to Aidanna for her reassurance. "Diarmuid is right," she said, meeting his gaze with complete candour. "You were on your own, and as deceived as we were about Donal. But the point is, Declan, you did the right thing, as justice and the law dictated, and as your own conscience directed you. You are a well-intentioned man, I know. If you really wish to extend English law to the area, you will have a fight on your hands, not because the clan will never agree, but because Donal will want to be sole leader. Make no mistake about what that will mean. If Donal succeeds in swaying the vote to become tanaist, he will kill or exile anyone who stands in his way once he is in power. He will also move against the O'Flahertys, even the O'Donnells. And once that happens, what's to stop the English from taking advantage of the turmoil to invade?"
Aidanna argued well, he had to grant her that. Declan again began to feel that trapped sensation that he had experienced the last time he had thought of returning to England.
Angry now, confused, he took it out on Aidanna. "Damn it, you're all telling me to try to become tanaist, but I have no more idea of how to do that than of sprouting wings and flying to the moon. I don't have all the answers," he grumbled, pushing her hand away abruptly as he stood up to pace the library. "Ever since I laid eyes on you that first night a month ago, everything I thought was true, all of my plans, the life I had mapped out for myself, everything, has been turned upside down!"
All three of his companions stared at Declan silently as his common sense and sense of justice warred in his breast.
Ruairi finally broke the spell by rising from his chair with a sigh. "Fascinating though this has all been, man does not live by words alone. Come, have supper, and then go back to the cave, Aidanna."
The meal was for the most part silent. Aidanna could see from the way he put his food into his mouth almost mechanically that Declan was deep in thought. Once again, the closeness they had forged had slipped away. She might not have even been in the room for all the notice he took of her presence.
Aidanna whispered a farewell to her son and uncle, then went into the kitchens to take some provisions for herself. She was just going out the back door, when she heard Declan call to her, "Aidanna, where are you?"
When he didn't get any reply, he asked the monk stirring the large pot, "Has she gone already?"
"She just went out that door," Declan was informed, and she could hear his feet slipping on the gravel as her pursued her in the twilight.
"Aidanna, wait, I need to talk to you!" he called. He caught up with her in spite of her haste to be away, and wheeled her around to face him.
"Please, Declan, if you're going to argue with me again, I'd just as soon not talk about this any more. You will do as you have to, and as for myself, this is my home, until I decide what to do, or the decision is made for me one way or the other," she said firmly, trying to reject him even as she longed to pull him to her and kiss him, comfort him.
"I don't want to fight, I want to come back to the cave, talk to you, or better still not talk at all, just fish, swim, walk along the beach, as we always did, when we first became friends here on the islands," Declan said pleadingly, giving her a winning smile.
Aidanna's heart leapt with joy, and she finally admitted to herself how much she had missed him even in the few days since he had been at the monastery.
"You untie the ropes then, while I get in and stow these things," Aidanna told him, as she stepped into the boat, and unshipped the oars.
As they rowed back side by side, Declan asked, "Do you think we still have time for a swim?"
"Why not. But we'd better have a walk first, just to let our stomachs settle after that fine supper."
Once back in the cave, Aidanna put all of her provisions on the shelves carved into the stone, and then she laid fresh snowy white sheets on the bed, while Declan mended a few of their fishing nets.
"All finished?" he asked quietly, as he saw her loosen her tunic and pull a skirt over her head. Then she removed her hose, and shoes, and stepped out into the deepening twilight. She wriggled her toes in the cool sand, and then began to point out some of the constellations as they twinkled in the sky.
"There's the plough, with the North Star, and I can see the Crab and the Lion over there, and the planet Venus."
"Look, a shooting star!" Declan remarked excitedly.
"You're meant to make a wish," Aidanna said, and suddenly found herself praying, I wish he would love me forever, and never leave me.
"What did you wish for?" he asked softly, trying to take her arm, but she shrugged out of his suddenly too intimate grasp.
"I don't know. Maybe that it will all stay the same, yet even as I stand here, I know it is disappearing forever," she sighed.
"Yet perhaps it will be replaced by something even more glorious."
"We can only pray that will prove true. But it hard, with so many dead already because of Donal's ambitions."
Aidanna continued down the beach, heading for the cove where the seals bathed and reared their young. She loved watching their smooth sleek bodies, and the pups at play. She found a comfortable rock sheltered from the wind to sit on, wrapping her arms around her bended knees to leave room for Declan to sit beside her.
They sat looking at the seals cavorting on the sand for a long time, until their bodies relaxed against each other's and began to nestle tightly together. Aidanna felt comforted by his huge nearness and warmth.
Declan finally worked up the courage to ask the one question he had
avoided for some time. He knew he had to find out the whole truth about Aidanna and her life, and just how much of this whole complicated situation had been manipulated by Donal.
"Why did you marry Angus Burke?"
Aidanna shrugged. "It was the right thing to do for everyone, his sons especially. And after my brother Cathal died, well, I was so full of grief, what happened to me didn't seem to matter much anymore compared to the good of the entire clan.
"Cathal must have known something was going to happen to him, for he made Conn and all the O'Flahertys swear allegiance to me, even though father was completely against it. He said a young woman, only fourteen, could never hold it all together, so I needed a husband. Morgan and Tomas were too young then to be of much use, though they and every other man in Connaught under the age of sixty offered to marry me, including Donal himself. I chose to marry Angus mainly because he didn't seem to be so desperate to get his hands on my wealth, or body. That bespoke good intentions, and he was good to me. So I was grateful to him for his support, and was loyal as a wife. I did what was asked of me as his consort, and raised his sons in the manner he wished. Other than being married and a mother, I lived as I always had," Aidanna sighed.
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