Burning Wild

by Feehan, Christine

  She gave her mouth to him, uncaring that he was savage, almost brutal, kissing him back, matching fire for fire until he calmed and couldn’t stop the gentleness, the tenderness that she found in him, from emerging. “You’re destroying me, Emma,” he whispered, his forehead against hers. “You’re fucking destroying me with every breath you take.”

  “I’m making you stronger,” she answered. “You make me stronger. That’s the way it works.”

  He hoped so. He hoped she knew what the hell she was talking about, because he was in virgin territory.

  The kitchen door banged open. “Emma!” Joshua yelled at the top of his lungs. “The kids are losing their minds out here. If you don’t move it, we’re going to have a mini rebellion.”

  Joshua sounded harassed. Jake and Emma looked at each other and burst out laughing. She ran through the house. “I’m coming, sheesh. I had to take care of some business.”

  “I can see what kind of business you were taking care of,” Joshua complained. He raised his voice so Jake could hear. “I’m not a babysitter.”

  “What a wimp,” Emma teased. “A couple of little kids and you’re whining like a baby.” She caught up the reins Conner held out and swung up onto the little mare Jake had purchased for her. The horse had beautiful lines, but it was the training he’d paid for. She moved at the slightest request, her gait gentle and flowing.

  Conner had Andraya sitting in front of him, her cheeks red with excitement, her pink riding helmet matching her beloved boots. Sometimes she refused to take off her boots, wanting to wear them to bed at night. Kyle was waiting impatiently for Joshua to remount behind him. He was all in black, matching his daddy’s hat and boots, although he too wore a helmet.

  “You’re in so much trouble, Joshua,” Emma warned. “You’re not supposed to bring the horses up to the house. The gardener hates that. They trample his flowers and leave big messy surprises.”

  “It’s your fault.” Joshua still hadn’t forgiven her. He knew the gardener would vent for hours, screaming in Italian at her and throwing rich, fertile dirt in the air in one of his frequent tantrums. Only Emma could soothe him when he was in a rage over the destruction of his beloved gardens.

  Jake had sought out Taddio, his gardener, years earlier, after hearing several people first praise him as one of the top landscape artists in three states, then drop him after an accident had left him with one arm. He still had his genius, but none of them wanted to look at his “disgusting imperfection.” He had been with Jake exclusively ever since, designing the landscaping around his buildings, the homes he bought and sold, and the ranch as well.

  They rode in single file, Emma listening to the bantering between Joshua and Susan. The teenager sat with perfect form, shoulders straight, chin up, with a new confidence Emma hadn’t seen in her before. Andraya and Kyle bounced and kicked and held the reins whenever Joshua and Conner allowed it, laughing in delight as they commanded the horses.

  Emma had never really ridden a horse until a year earlier, when Jake had decided to teach her, along with putting Kyle on a horse for the first time. He’d been careful of her, but he’d pushed her to overcome her fears, until she’d finally realized there was freedom and joy in the power of the animal.

  The riding trail was narrow as it wove through the trees to come to a small stream that the horses splashed across. This was the easiest trail, and one they used whenever they took Kyle and Andraya riding. No steep terrain, just flat land that stretched for miles. In the distance there were a few sloping hills. The wind had a bite to it and Emma was glad she’d insisted the children always have their jackets with them when they went riding.

  In the distance, off to her right, as Emma topped a rise, she noticed dust rising, a large amount. She reined in to study the dust cloud, to determine what it might be. She glanced back and Joshua and Conner were talking to the children and helping them with the reins. She shifted her weight forward, lifting the reins slightly, and the little mare set off using her smooth, fast gait. Emma abandoned herself to the sheer joy of riding, feeling the wind in her hair and the breeze on her face. She urged the horse faster, using her knees to control the speed, just as Jake had said she could do. For just a few moments, she was alone, horse and rider charging across the land and her own laughter ringing in her ears.

  She heard the sound of hoofs and turned her head to see Susan urging her horse up beside hers. They ran side by side, throwing grins back and forth, hair whipping in the wind, the horses running smoothly and confidently.

  Emma’s horse suddenly swerved, eyes rolling, head tossing. Emma pulled her reins just as Susan’s horse began acting up. Emma lifted her head to try to catch the elusive scent, but her horse tried to bolt and she turned her attention to controlling the animal. She had to force its head around, circling. Susan’s horse turned tail and made a dash back toward the ranch.

  Thunder rolled ominously. The ground shook. She felt the vibrations travel up the horse’s leg to her body, and she swung her head back to look in the direction of the dust cloud. It was nearly on top of her. The mare crow-hopped, letting out a terrified squeal. Emma kicked her hard in the ribs and bent low over her neck, racing back toward the relative safety of the treeline.

  One moment she was riding alone, the next she was swept up in a sea of running horses. One broadsided her mare, crushing Emma’s leg. For a heart-stopping moment the mare stumbled, her head lowered and she kicked out with her back legs, sending Emma flying to the ground. Hooves rained down on her. She rolled, curling into a ball, hands over her head to protect herself. The ground was soft from the rain and she wiggled into a depression against the side of a small boulder.

  She heard the sound of gunfire and a man’s shout. Joshua had shoved Kyle onto Conner’s horse and had ridden right into the stampeding herd, in front of Emma, firing his weapon, shifting the flow of the herd. The horses thundered past, swerving away from her. When the sound died down and the earth quit shaking, she dropped her hands and rolled over to stare up at the stormy sky, tears blurring her vision. There didn’t seem to be a place on her body that didn’t hurt.

  “Don’t move, Emma,” Joshua commanded. He didn’t sound at all like the Joshua she knew, and when she looked at him, his eyes glowed, small red lights playing through them. “Drake will send the helicopter for you.”

  She meant to tell him that was silly, that she was perfectly all right, but for some reason, when she opened her mouth nothing came out. She heard Andraya screaming for her and lifted her hand to beckon Conner to bring the children to her so she could reassure them, but Joshua shook his head, crouching over her like a protective bulldog. When he even waved Susan off, she tried to move.

  A groan escaped and everything went black.

  14

  “STOP moving around so much.”

  Emma let her breath out in a long hiss. “If one more person tells me that, I’m going to hit them over the head.” She glared at Jake. “You especially. Don’t you have work to do? I’m fine. I’ve been sitting in this den for two days doing nothing. You won’t even let me pick up the kids. If you growl at Andraya one more time, she’s going to think you’ve turned into a grumpy old bear.” She pressed her lips together, aware she sounded bitchy, but she couldn’t help it. She felt trapped, like the walls were closing in on her.

  “Have you taken a look at yourself? You’re covered in bruises.” Jake stroked the pad of his finger gently down her left shoulder and arm, bruised from getting kicked by a horse. She’d been lucky her arm wasn’t broken. She had bruises on her leg from a horse slamming into her and bruises on her hip from landing on the ground so hard.

  “Can I just say you’re overreacting?”

  “I don’t overreact,” Jake denied.

  “You were going to shoot every horse on the property, you maniac. I would call that overreacting, and keeping me sitting here is definitely overreacting.” When he just remained looming over her like some Neanderthal man, she sighed. “Jake. Come on. I�
�m going crazy.” She winced at the pathetic little whimper in her voice.

  She was edgy and moody and wanted to rip and tear at something. Jake had insisted she go to the hospital to be checked out. He took the doctor’s instructions seriously—too seriously. When the doctor said he wanted her to be quiet, Jake thought that meant completely immobile. He let the children kiss her and talk to her, but only in short visits. He’d slept in her bed, his arm around her waist, but that had been all, no other touching. His kisses drove her wild, and her body ached for his, but he insisted on handling her as if she might break at any moment.

  “Is your headache completely gone?”

  “Absolutely. Totally.” She started to stand and he dropped a heavy hand on her shoulder, preventing movement.

  “The doctor’s coming today. If he says you’re fine, then we’ll see.”

  “He will say I’m fine.” Emma hesitated and plunged on to the next subject. “Jake, right before my horse spooked, I smelled something. It sounds silly, but I have a really acute sense of smell and the wind shifted and for a minute it smelled like a wildcat. Maybe a mountain lion. Could there be a large cat in the vicinity?”

  Jake went very still.

  Emma dropped her eyes and shrugged. “I know it sounds silly, but I can smell things others can’t. I’ve always been able to, and lately my sense of smell has been even sharper. I can tell who has come into the house before they get into the same room with me.”

  He caught her chin. “Don’t do that. Don’t be afraid of saying anything to me. I’d never belittle you, Emma. You’ve been thinking about this for two days now. I knew something was on your mind. I don’t want you to keep things from me. Not your fears, not your opinions, even when they differ from mine.”

  The pad of his thumb slid back and forth over her chin. “I know you think I’ve been a little crazy over this accident, but you’re black and blue. You could have been killed. And if you tell me you smelled a wildcat, then I believe you. Drake and Conner have been looking for tracks. Something had to have spooked those horses. We let that herd run free on the property but they should have been miles away. The stallion keeps them to a territory about thirty miles from the house and he always stays on the same range.”

  Something in his voice caught at her. “Are you saying the horses were purposely herded or driven onto the trail we take the children riding on?”

  “I don’t know, honey, but I intend to find out. I just think it’s best to keep the kids very close to the house. I’m beefing up the security when the children are outside.”

  Her heart slammed hard against her chest, and for a moment she couldn’t breathe. “Do you think someone is trying to harm them? Tell me the truth, Jake. You’ve got to tell me what’s going on. I don’t like being kept in the dark like some child.”

  Jake sank into a high-backed chair opposite her, a sigh slipping out. “I don’t want to scare you off.”

  “Jake, if anything was going to scare me off, it would be you. You’re a very intimidating man, but do I look afraid of you?”

  Faint humor lit his eyes. He smirked. “Sometimes.” She smiled at him. “Okay. Sometimes I am, but you don’t sound remorseful.”

  “A little fear is good for you once in a while, otherwise you’d boss me around the way you do everyone else.”

  She refused to allow him to distract her. “I won’t run. Tell me.”

  He pulled his chair close so their knees were touching. “The people who are my birth parents were involved in a bizarre experiment. What they were trying to do doesn’t really matter. The point is, they wanted a child with certain talents, and when I was born, I wasn’t what they had ordered. They have an alliance with the Trents, and I believe the Trents have been conducting the same sort of breeding experiments, rather like friendly rivals. Both families are very powerful, politically as well as socially. I’m sure you’ve read the papers and the suspicions surrounding both families. Nothing is ever proved, but Bannaconni and Trent both have been under suspicion in the disappearance of young women.”

  She noted that he referred to his father as Bannaconni, never as Dad or Father. Jake was always consistent in that. She tangled her fingers with his as he continued.

  “Let’s just say that not only do I believe Bannaconni and Trent are guilty in the women’s disappearances, but that other disappearances have never been discovered. They’ve had women bring rape and torture charges against them in two separate incidences, but they were acquitted when, in fact, they were guilty. How do I know they were guilty? I know them and I saw them kill someone, a nanny of mine they blamed for their abuse of me. Their wives are every bit as depraved and cruel and bloodthirsty as they are. They are serial killers, yet they’ll never be caught.” He pulled his hands away from her, as if he couldn’t have physical contact even when mentioning his childhood.

  She went white, she knew she did. She could feel the color draining from her face. She believed him. She took a deep breath. “Did they try to kill you, Jake?”

  “There were times I wished they had.”

  “All the scars?”

  He nodded slowly. “Not necessarily all of them, but, yes, they liked to inflict pain. For the power and the rush. It’s all about power.” He waited a heartbeat. Two. Wanting her to know the truth. Wanting her to know what she was getting into, or maybe he wanted her to prove that she really belonged to him. “I have the same genetic makeup. Their blood flows in my veins.”

  She tried not to see the understanding of his parents’ deviant need for power in his eyes. That remote, cold look he often had on his face, the determination to destroy his enemies. The ruthless traits in him that made him a bitter, relentless enemy were stamped on his face. He took apart companies like others took out garbage. He reveled in his ability to scent weakness and he circled like a shark with the smell of blood before going in for the kill. His attacks were always swift, unexpected and ferocious. Emma moistened her suddenly dry lips and tried to breathe normally.

  “Do you like to inflict pain, Jake? For the feeling of power? For the rush?”

  His gaze jumped to hers, locked and held. “Yes.” He wanted her to know the truth about him, about the monster living in him. Not buried deep, but close to the surface. She had to know. He hadn’t started out thinking he would ever reveal the ugliness inside him to anyone, but she deserved the truth. He owed her that.

  Emma’s breath left her lungs in a rush, as if she’d been punched and couldn’t catch air. He caught her hands again, locking them together, and she had to fight to keep from pulling away. She couldn’t look away from his eyes, from the rejection there. He had bared his soul and expected rejection—maybe even was half hoping for it.

  “Have you ever killed anyone? Done anything like your parents?”

  “The enemies,” he corrected.

  She took a shallow breath. It was the best she could do. “The enemies, then. Have you ever physically harmed another human being?”

  “Not like the enemies have, but I killed a man who meant to murder Drake. I felt I had no choice. Everything happened fast and there wasn’t time to think.”

  Emma was silent, trying to wrap her mind around how the conversation had taken such an unexpected, shocking turn, yet she wasn’t nearly as shocked as she should have been.

  “Emma.” Jake waited until she was wholly focused on him. “I had no choice.”

  He was telling the truth. She knew he was by his scent alone. “Have you ever been cruel to animals?”

  “No, of course not. I would never do such a thing, nor have I ever wanted to.”

  “What about the children? Have you ever wanted to hurt them?” She held her breath, terrified of his answer. He never looked away from her, although it had to hurt him that she asked.

  Jake felt his stomach turn. “Never. Never, Emma. Remember when I told you if I ever hit them—or you—that I wanted you to leave me and tell Drake? I meant it.”

  “What about me, Jake? Have you wanted to hu
rt me?”

  There it was. The question he knew would come. The one he had hoped wouldn’t come. He kept his gaze locked with hers. He couldn’t have looked away from her even if he wanted to. He had to judge her reaction to his answer. He had to see the disgust and horror for himself. “Sometimes.” His voice was barely a thread, barely whispered aloud.

  She didn’t flinch. She had courage, but he already knew that about her. She blinked up at him, digesting his answer, knowing he spoke the truth. She didn’t look at him as if he were a monster, she didn’t even pull her hands from his, but he felt her tremble.

  “Why?”

  It took every ounce of courage he had to look her in the eye, to answer her, to let her see inside of him to the dark, ugly truth that he was exposing to her. “To make you prove your loyalty to me. To know you’ll stay no matter what, that you want me enough to take whatever I dish out. Other times it’s been because another man is too close to you and I need to show him you’re mine.”

  Again she was silent, but she still hadn’t turned away. Her gaze remained steady on his. “You’ve never hurt me,” she pointed out.

  “That doesn’t mean I didn’t want to, Emma. That means I choose not to be like the enemies. It’s a conscious choice I make every single day. I choose my targets in business, people who have hurt others, and I don’t take down those weaker than me. Or those who are honest. I made up my mind that if I had to be a monster, I would at least make certain it didn’t control me.”

  “I’m not laying down for you, Jake. I’ll never lay down for you.”

  “I know that.”

  “I can see you manipulating me at times and I allow it because whatever you want isn’t a big deal to me, but if it ever was, if I wanted something, nothing would stop me.” She leaned toward him. “You think about it long and hard before you ever decide to hurt me, Jake. If you hit me, I will walk away. I have too much respect for myself to put up with that kind of crap, no matter how much I love you. And I do love you. I know I do, whether you believe it or not.”