Flash

by Rachel Anne Ridge

  Mostly, you wonder why God has let you down, when all you wanted to do was that thing you thought you were created to do. You feel cracks forming in places within your soul that once seemed unshakable. You raise your questions to the sky, but your prayers plummet, seemingly unanswered and ignored.

  You feel very alone.

  Failure wears like a wet wool coat on a summer day, crushing your frilly party dress of optimism underneath its weight. Survival and existence and going through the motions feel like the best you can do, and sometimes that’s all you can do. You go to work, you put food on the table, you help with homework, you smile and cheer at your kid’s hockey game, you reach for a hand under the blankets at night, and you grasp at every sweet moment you can. But beneath the busyness and activity, you know that something must change—or you will not survive.

  This is exactly where I found myself the night the donkey showed up.

  Tom hit the brakes and brought our ten-year-old Explorer to an abrupt stop on the gravel. The dust from the tires blew past us and swirled around the animal in our headlights, much like smoke in a stage show.

  It was a donkey. In the middle of our driveway.

  “What in the world?” my husband muttered as we peered through the windshield at the creature with gigantic ears, caught midchew and looking every bit as surprised as we did. Just twenty feet in front of our bumper, he blinked hard into the bright beams, grass protruding from both sides of his mouth and those unmistakable ears pricked forward. We stared at him as he swallowed his mouthful and stared back at us. Then the ears swiveled around, and he did an about-face, heading for the shadows.

  I turned to Tom, my nylon jacket rustling against the seat belt.

  “Hey, that’s a . . . that’s a . . .”

  “Donkey,” he finished for me. I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them quickly, just to be sure. Yep, still there. Still a donkey. “What on earth is a donkey doing here?”

  Tom leaned forward and squinted through the darkness at the lumpy shape, which now feasted on a clump of early spring grass beyond the headlights. Tom rubbed his chin, assessing the situation. He put the vehicle in “Park” and reached a conclusion before I could say anything else.

  “Somebody is going to run into that guy if we don’t catch him,” he said, almost too tired to get the words out. The narrow, meandering lanes through the Texas countryside, a shadowy March night, speeding locals, and a donkey on the loose . . . it was an accident waiting to happen. And neither an accident nor a donkey roundup was on the list of things we wanted to deal with at the end of a long, hard day.

  “Just let him be,” I reasoned. “I’m sure someone is out looking for him, and they’ll find him and take him home.” I watched as the stray donkey plunged his head into another clump, tore off the grass, and munched away. A neighbor’s floodlight now illuminated him, and I could see he was scratched up pretty badly. Maybe he’d already been in an accident. He probably did need our help, but still . . . all I could think about was taking a warm shower and crawling into my pajamas. It was well past 9:00 p.m., and we hadn’t seen our kids since breakfast. We were exhausted and ready to put this awful day behind us.

  I thought back to that morning. It began with the discovery of our client’s girdle and brassiere, heaped in a pile on her bathroom floor. Yes, let’s start there. The sturdy shapewear was an awkward obstacle right in the middle of the room, hampering our “glamorous” handiwork as we decorated the cramped space with an Italian countryside scene and became intimate friends with the toilet in the process of working around it. Tom finally used a paint stick to scoop up the undergarments, holding them at arm’s length and looking away out of gentlemanly respect as he placed them on the tub ledge so he could continue the commode masterpiece. Good grief, it’s hot in here. Why is the thermostat set so high? And why does underwear need so much structure?

  The day ended under the ceiling dome of the home’s foyer, balancing on extension ladders and sweating profusely while we plied our brushes, adding “just a few more details” requested by the client at the last minute to a painting we’d already finished—well beyond the scope of our agreement. Somewhere in between these two events came the horrifying realization that this mural project would not pay the rent.

  We were living our dream. Only it had become a nightmare.

  Tom and I barely spoke to one another as we loaded up our ladders and artist supplies to head home. Our kids, the two who remained under our roof, had eaten cereal for dinner without us and were hopefully doing something constructive without supervision. I had some reassurance that homework was underway after making several calls from my precarious perch in the foyer, carefully inching the cell phone from my right pocket to my left ear without disturbing my balance. Like every working parent, I wouldn’t know for sure until I got home and saw proof.

  Grayson, our twelve-year-old son, could be easily distracted by an elaborate Lego project or model airplane, two of his current passions besides ice hockey. Meghan, a senior in high school, might have spent the whole evening on the phone, or writing music for her band, or picking out tomorrow’s outfit. Our oldest daughter, Lauren, was in the middle of her first year at a nearby university, studying graphic design and planning a wedding with her high school sweetheart. Between the kids’ activities and our workload, life spun like a wobbly top most days. I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped my lips.

  I pressed my forehead against the cold passenger window in the Explorer and let fatigue wash over me. This wasn’t exactly how I’d envisioned our following-the-dream adventure playing out. We had come to the part they don’t tell you about in the motivational books and seminars—the part about how in the midst of living out your passion and going for all the marbles, you still need to eat and pay the rent. Life has a way of kicking your dream in the pants. Add to the equation orthodontia for the kids and coming up with college tuition, and you’ve got something called a painful reality check.

  Driving the potholed roads, Tom and I had retreated into our separate worlds of silent defeat and mutual blame. We both needed warm showers and a good night’s sleep so we could face our situation with some objectivity in the morning. But as we turned the Ford onto our dirt-and-gravel driveway for the final, dusty quarter mile to our home, there, illuminated by the headlights, was the donkey.

  We watched him a few minutes more; then Tom turned off the engine and opened the door. “This won’t take long, Rachel,” he said over his shoulder. “Stay right there and keep an eye on him, and I’ll be right back with a rope to catch him. We’ll put him in our pasture tonight and find his owners tomorrow. I don’t want to be responsible for anyone getting hurt by running into him with a car.”

  Obediently, I sat and watched the donkey continue his voracious feast on the roadside grass. What a pointless animal, I thought, but, kind of cute. As promised, Tom quickly returned with a nylon rope—and a bucket. The donkey, though suspicious of this human stranger, immediately became interested in the contents of the container that Tom shook ever so alluringly, and he stepped closer to inspect it. Oats!

  It was then we made the overconfident assumption that “this is gonna be easy.”

  A classic rookie mistake.

  Hey, getting a stray donkey interested in oats is simple. Getting him roped and convincing him to follow is . . . not so much. Tom, a tough outdoorsman with a soft spot for anything in need, seemed to be up for the task in spite of the long day of work he’d had. Cautiously, he closed in on the nervous donkey and gently looped the rope over his gigantic head and around his neck. In a calm voice, Tom urged him to cooperate and flashed a premature thumbs-up at the first tentative steps. See, it was going to be easy after all!

  “Yay!” I mimed, with a dramatic happy face and my own thumbs-up in reply. I believed the dim moonlight called for some overacting to properly convey my encouragement. Suddenly, the small hooves stopped and dug in. The little guy leaned back and refused to take another step.

  Tom coaxed
and gave a gentle tug on the rope. The donkey balked.

  Tom gave him nibbles of oats. He took two steps forward . . . yes! Then five steps to the side . . . no! Tom pulled. The donkey pulled harder in the opposite direction. Clearly, this was not working as we had hoped.

  Tom called me from the sidelines into active duty. He gave me the rope and went behind the donkey. With a deep breath, Tom pushed. I pulled.

  Nothing.

  Tom put his shoulder into the animal’s rump, braced his feet, and pushed with his legs, while I pulled even harder.

  Not an inch. We dropped our hands to our sides and began to strategize.

  Tom had a brilliant idea. “Let’s switch places,” he suggested, but I was not so sure.

  “He’d better not have gas!” I moved to the rear and planted my tennis shoes as far away as possible to stay clear of any kicks and possible flatulence, while Tom took hold of the rope at the donkey’s head. Still no progress. The animal would not budge. He simply looked at us through heavy-lidded eyes as if to say, “Go ahead, keep trying. This is entertaining.” He chewed on the oats like he had all the time in the world.

  To our exasperation, all the coaxing, leading, pulling, enticing, and demanding resulted in the donkey only getting farther from our pasture gate than where we had started.

  By now, the wind had picked up, and the branches on the trees swayed in an eerie dance that spooked the long-eared intruder. He bolted into a nearby yard, pulling Tom into a run alongside him, my poor husband hanging on to the rope for dear life. A bathrobe-clad neighbor came out to see the ruckus, and she and I stood with our backs to the wind as the cat-and-mouse game continued its spectacle. Three steps forward, two steps back. One step forward, three steps to the side. Cajoling, pushing, pleading, chasing. Mercy, it was hard not to laugh. But when I saw Tom rip the baseball cap off his head and throw it in frustration, I stifled my snicker. His small act of kindness had become a sheer battle of the wills. This. Was. War. Respectfully, I got back into the parked Explorer, pulled a granola bar from my purse, and settled in for the rest of the show.

  I watched as they slowly made their way down the blacktop road and back toward our long driveway. A yard lamp backlit their bodies into black silhouettes, and it was then that I laughed out loud. There was Tom’s dark shape, straining hard on the rope until his body practically paralleled the ground. And there stretched the donkey’s dark shape, front legs locked, neck drawn forward, and back end sitting down in defiance. It looked just like an old velvet painting I’d once seen of a silhouetted boy and stubborn donkey in the same pose. How I wished I had bought that classic painting for this very moment in time.

  Finally Tom found a rhythm the donkey could cooperate with, and the two moved down the driveway, which went across a pond’s dam and through a tunnel of swaying trees. With one arm around his opponent’s neck while talking quietly into one of those big ears, Tom leaned into the animal and knocked one knee out from under him. As the donkey tried to catch his balance, Tom took advantage of the forward movement and pulled him an extra couple of steps. By fits and starts, the duo arrived at the pasture, and Tom closed the gate on the skinny-rumped creature—three hours later.

  “Done!” he said. “I can’t wait to get rid of him tomorrow. That was one of the worst experiences of my life! We’ll call the county sheriff first thing in the morning.”

  By the light of day, Tom and I, along with Meghan and Grayson, gathered in the pasture to take a good look at our unwilling guest.

  He was a mess.

  Mud and scabs caked his shaggy winter hair into an ugly, matted coat. Fresh gashes from barbed wire fences seemed to be everywhere, from head to hoof, oozing and bleeding. The scratches crisscrossed his face and legs, with a four-inch slice that went deep into the flesh of his barrel chest. The wounds needed immediate attention, so we cleaned and dressed them with ointment as the donkey trembled inside our three-sided barn. Although it seemed as if he knew our efforts were meant to help him, he allowed only brief touches before skittishly moving just beyond our reach. His lips quivered, and his tail swished nervously. We moved in slow motion, using hushed voices as we worked.

  “It’s okay, donkey. You’re okay,” we reassured him. What else had he experienced before his sudden arrival here? We wondered aloud about his past.

  Under the mud, he was a light brownish-gray color, with a white muzzle that looked as if it had been dipped in a deep bucket of buttermilk. A matching creamy-white color circled his big brown eyes and covered the underside of his belly with soft hair. With faint stripes adorning sturdy legs, he stood no taller than four feet at the shoulder. How can an animal this compact be so difficult to manage? The daylight made him seem so . . . well, compliant.

  A wispy mane trickled down a broad neck, and his tail, unlike a horse’s, was a strong shaft of muscle and bone with long strands of coarse hair starting partway down. A long, dark stripe down the center of his back began at his mane and disappeared into his tail. Up close, his ears were even bigger than I’d remembered from the night before. Thick and mobile, they were never pointing the same direction for very long. The caramel-colored fuzz that covered them was outlined by dark hair around the edges and tufted with cream on the insides. His straight black eyelashes made his eyes seem a little sad, or maybe it was just the way his large head drooped that gave him such a melancholy air.

  “Oh look!” Grayson pointed out in delight from his perch on the fence. “He has a cross on his back!” A chocolate-brown pattern of hair emblazoned across his shoulders distinctly intersected the dark stripe down his back. Legend has it that every donkey bears the symbol of Christ, in honor of His triumphant entry into Jerusalem before His crucifixion. Seeing a donkey face-to-face for the first time certainly brought the biblical story to mind. Our eyes lingered on this marking and then wandered to his many wounds. He was, as we say in Texas, “tore up.”

  Tom put his arm across Grayson’s shoulders as we made our way through the tall grass back to the house, while Meghan stayed to keep the donkey company. A creature lover since she was a toddler, Meghan once claimed the ability to talk to animals. Although this one was much larger than the hamsters and parakeets she’d communicated with before, he still looked as if he needed a friend.

  She sat on a wooden step in the barn near the shy donkey, chin in hand, and listened to the birds sing in the rafters as she watched him. With wary eyes on her, the donkey kept his distance but lingered in the barn, rather than making for the pasture beyond. After some minutes had ticked by, he took one hesitant step toward the slim, redheaded girl, then paused as if thinking.

  Then another step. A little closer.

  A fly buzzed.

  “It’s okay, buddy,” Meghan murmured. She turned a palm up in silent beckoning.

  And another step.

  A long minute. Ears twitching. Blowing hard. The chirping birds oblivious to the slow dance below.

  “I won’t hurt you.”

  Closer.

  “You’re safe now.”

  A little closer still . . . until his tentative nostrils touched her knees.

  “It’s all right.”

  He sniffed her scent and paused again. His long ears turned forward. Tail swished the fly. Finally, he closed his eyes and took one last step, resting his giant head in her lap with a deep donkey sigh. Meghan’s hand came up and gently stroked his face and ears. She scratched his neck and whispered softly to him. His lower lip sagged sleepily as he relaxed for the first time since his arrival. The donkey and girl stayed just so for a long while, his head heavy on her legs as she caressed him and gently untangled his scraggly mane.

  I was in the kitchen when Meghan came bursting through the door. “Oh Momma! He’s sweet!” she exclaimed as she described the quiet moments in the barn. She finished with a breathless, “Can we keep him, pleeze??”

  Drying my hands on a towel, I looked at her pleading expression. I should have known this was coming. Here we go. Don’t you start begging for
a donkey. Sweet or not, we knew he had to belong to someone. Surely. I mean, how can a person misplace a donkey, for heaven’s sake? His owners must be looking for him.

  “Meggie, you can’t let yourself get attached to him. You know he’s not going to be here long.” I smoothed the disappointment from her forehead and continued. “He’s going to be on his way just as soon as we find out where he belongs, and I don’t want you to get your heart broken when he leaves.”

  “But what if nobody claims him?” she appealed. “Then can we keep him?”

  “Honey, I don’t think we are ‘donkey people.’ We don’t know the first thing about them. We certainly don’t have any use for one. And besides, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. We need to do what we can to find his home before we start making any plans.” But in my mind, I’d already been wondering the same thing.

  Just then, we heard noise from outside, near the pasture gate. We hurried to see what the fuss was about and found our yellow Lab, Beau, wagging his entire body as he barked and whined in excitement. A new friend! He could hardly contain his joy. The donkey, who had left the barn and ventured toward the house, looked up in surprise.