by Angel Devlin
“So the wedding was booked for in eighteen months time, everything was going ahead, invites were out, the honeymoon was arranged. Everything, and we’re in love and looking forward to the rest of our lives. We were living in a rented property and Tali had been going on about having children. Her friends were having babies left, right, and centre and she was talking about us having a kid before the wedding. It was too soon for me, we were both so young. In the back of my mind, I’d still been hoping to win her dad around by working hard and making a name for myself, getting a good reputation and trying to save for a house in a better area. I didn’t think getting her pregnant before the wedding would go down well.
“Quite.”
“Time passed, the wedding got nearer, and I decided I wanted to get Tali some sexy lingerie for on our honeymoon, so I went in her undies drawer to check out her sizes. I found a pregnancy testing kit, and I just knew, in my gut, that she’d not been taking her pill. That despite what I’d said she was trying to get pregnant.
“I called her out on it, and she sobbed and apologised but said she needed to have a child so badly, it had overridden everything else. Her biological clock was ticking to the point of explosion she said. After we’d talked, I thought, why am I holding off just to please her father? I should be doing what my wife-to-be wants and if we had to postpone the wedding or she had to walk down the aisle with a bump then so be it because it was Cal and Tali, and we were perfect.
“Nothing happened and I put it down to the stress of the wedding, but I heard Tali talking to a friend and saying how every month that passed made her feel like she was mourning. I told her we’d get tested, make sure everything was okay. Except it wasn’t. I found out I couldn’t have children.”
My eyes went to the floor as I told Becca my truths.
“Oh, Callum, I am so very sorry.”
I swallowed. “She said she was okay with it. That there were other options. I told her she could cancel the wedding. Could leave me. She said no; that we’d get through it.”
“I’m guessing it didn’t go that way?”
I carried on staring into space as I remembered my past. “It was a lie. She had pregnancy magazines that she kept. I watched as her friends with babies visited and she pretended to be okay and then I’d hear her sob at night. Two days before the wedding I heard her on the phone to her best friend saying that she wasn't sure she could adopt after all. That she'd always imagined her own children, and that the more she explored adoption, the more she found horror stories where they'd gone wrong. I heard her say that it was too late now to cancel the wedding and that she just felt trapped. Hearing her say that cut me deep, but yet I understood.
"After mulling things over that night, I'd decided that the following day I would talk to her and even though it would break my heart, if she wanted, we would call the wedding off. I spent that next day trying to work up the courage to start a conversation that I knew might end us, but I just couldn't do it. Then I found myself bundled into the back of a car and taken to an outbuilding and it was all taken out of my hands.”
“What?”
“I'd been on my way to meet Milo. I was staying with him in a hotel the night before the wedding with him being my best man. The guy had fucking taken me off our driveway. As I was thrown into the outbuilding, I found her father sitting there looking smug. Her best friend had contacted him and told him how Tali was feeling. The fact I couldn't help provide him with a biological heir was the final straw for him. He told me he didn't want some adopted riff raff.
"What an arsehole."
"I was made to write a note. He threatened to hurt Jules if I didn't write it. So I did. Figured fate had decided Tali was better off without me anyway. He took the note and his goons let me go. I was warned if I went anywhere near the church, Jules would be left in a bad way.”
“Jesus, Callum.”
“And so when Milo came to stay, I didn’t say a word, and when he got up the next morning, I wasn’t there.
“I’d booked myself on a train to Edinburgh. Far, far away from the wedding that wasn’t to happen.” My tale was pouring out of me now, the wound wide open and I was bleeding out. “I knew how her father was going to break the news. He’d delighted in telling me every little detail, so I knew he was going to reassure her that everything would be okay, that there would be an explanation as to why I was late, and he was going to let her get right up to the entrance of the church. And then he was going to say that the reason he knew everything would be okay was because I’d given him a love letter to give to Tali when she arrived at the church…”
Becca’s hand was now covering her mouth.
“And she will have opened it and seen my words. Saying I couldn’t marry her. I’d made a mistake. I didn't love her. That I hoped she realised she was better off without me anyway. Then he had her driven away from church and not a word was said about the why, only that I’d left her at the altar.”
“B- but that’s horrendous. I mean surely her friends must have wanted to kill you, her family? It would have been the ultimate humiliation.”
“Everyone was asked to pretend I didn’t exist, to just count it as a narrow escape from scum. I got dirty looks and a lot of people trying to find out why the wedding didn’t happen. Tali never contacted me again. My belongings were boxed and sent to me. My clothes had been shredded.” I smiled at that. “Couldn’t blame her, but she left my important documents alone, and my bollocks.”
Becca smiled at that. “I wouldn’t have. You never talked to each other after, at all?”
“No. She took a job out of Willowfield. The first I heard she was back was when Brenda at the shop told me she was getting married again. I don’t know if her wedding’s here or somewhere else.”
“Bloody hell, Callum. That’s mental. How did your family handle it?”
“I called Milo when I knew it was too late for him to save the wedding. He got on the next train and met me. Phoned home and told them we’d be as long as we’d be. Got me up to date on everything that had happened. Him and Silas hadn’t gone to the wedding, they’d turned over every stone they could to try to find me. We stayed in Edinburgh a week. I spent most of it drunk.”
“Callum, her father shouldn’t be able to get away with what he did.” Becca’s jaw was taut.
“Milo said the same; but like I told him, ultimately I knew Tali wanted her own babies, and this way she could have them. It wasn’t that I didn’t love her. I loved her so much I let her go find someone else. And now she has. She gets married again in a year’s time.”
“And how do you know she’s truly happy?” Becca asked me.
“Because despite what I did to her, she’s willing to attempt to walk up the aisle again.”
“Yet she’s not had kids.” She said. “She wanted children with you before the wedding. Why’s she not done the same with this guy?”
“You’re asking me questions that are not my concern.”
“What if she never got over you? What if that’s why? Because she’s still hoping that you’re going to turn up at her door and tell her you love her and not to marry him. Maybe she decided babies weren't everything if it meant you came back?”
“She’s still better off with him, than me. I’m damaged goods.”
“Callum Waite, you are not—” the conversation went no further because there was a deafening noise as glass shattered, fragments coming towards us, and so near to Laurel who was asleep on the sofa, that afterwards our faces were pictures of abject horror. We turned to find a large brick lying on the carpet, a note attached to it with an elastic band.
I picked it up while Becca dived for her child, shielding her with her body.
“What does it say?” She asked me. I turned the note to show her. Written in thick black marker.
Leave, filthy Paedo wife.
A minute later the front door was banged on making us both jump and then Violet’s voice called out. “Becca. Becca, is everything okay?”
&
nbsp; Carefully, dodging the glass, I moved to the front door and let Vi in. Her eyes searched past me towards the living room.
“Everyone’s okay, just a little shaken. She’s had a brick thrown through the window.”
“Milo’s gone running down the street, see if he can see anyone who might have done it.”
“Fuck.” If Milo caught them he’d probably slap them upside the head.
Violet walked into the living room and I followed her.
“Oh my god. Becca, are you okay?”
“We’re fine, but that’s it.” Becca got to her feet, a sleepy Laurel in her arms. “This house is no longer our home. My daughter could have been seriously injured. What if that brick had hit her? I should have gone straight to my parents' instead of waiting until tomorrow.”
Vi handed Becca her house key. “Go and settle Laurel down at ours and make yourself a drink or something. We’ll get things straight here.”
“The window.” She said.
“House renovation services, remember?” I told her. “Milo and I will get it boarded tonight and then tomorrow we’ll get the window replaced. Right now, do what Vi says and get next door.”
Violet turned to me, an amused look on her face.
“What?”
“You sounded eerily like your older brother then.”
Becca did as asked and left the house. I got the dustpan and brush that I was becoming all too familiar with and started to clear up the glass. After around fifteen minutes, Milo walked through the door.
“Anything?” I asked.
“Nope. Saw a couple of teens disappear towards the park dressed in the usual dark hoodies but no proof it was them. Been talking to Becca, making sure she’s okay. Helped get Laurel settled.”
Violet walked into Milo’s arms and he kissed the top of her head. A pang of jealousy hit me for what they had together.
“You go back to Becca, Princess. She needs you more than me. Me and Cal will get the window boarded up and the house made safe.”
And that’s what we did. We worked together side by side, and as we did, I remembered the time I’d spoken to Becca about Edinburgh and how my brother was my hero.
“Miley?”
“Yeah.” He was checking the window board and didn’t turn around.
“Just wanted to say that out of all of them, you’re my favourite.”
He turned round to me quickly. “You fucking dying, man?”
I laughed. “No. Just had a lot of things lately make me appreciate what I have. I’m so happy for you and Violet.”
“You’ll find your own princess, you know.” He said, walking over and pulling me into a side hug.
“Maybe.” I sighed.
“Or a prince if you continue with this growing a vagina emotion sharing.” He bumped me away with his hip. “I reckon we’re done here. In the house I mean.” He started packing up. “Want to come back to ours for a beer?”
“Nah, you got enough going on. I’m heading home. See you tomorrow, probably.”
I slipped out of the front door and cut through the side of Milo’s, across the grass and back into our house. Jules was in the living room when I went to sit down.
“Where’ve you been? You missed your fave dinner. I left you a spare portion, but Finn ate it.”
“I’ve eaten. I’ve been round at Becca’s.”
Her head tilted to the side. “Her electric go again?”
“Nope.” I filled her in on Becca’s breakdown, the Chinese, and the subsequent brick through the window. “So she’s back at Vi and Milo’s but tomorrow she’s going back to her parents.”
“Fuck, that woman has had it rough.” Jules fiddled with a ring on her finger. “But I’m glad she’s going back to her parents. I like her a lot, but she’s not Milo’s problem and she’s not your problem either.”
I opened my mouth to say something but didn’t have any words to actually speak.
“Uh-oh.”
“What?”
“You like her.”
I gave a dismissive snort. “Don’t be crazy. I just feel sorry for her. She just lost her husband.”
Jules turned her body so she was completely facing me. “I didn’t say you were about to profess your undying love to the woman. I’m well aware of her recent life event. I just know you, and I can tell that you like her.” She placed her tongue over her teeth and sucked. “Deny it all you want. I ain’t fucking stupid.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t know what I feel. She’s a nice woman and she’s been dealt a shit hand in life and I know what that feels like. I don’t know if I like her or it’s just I feel sorry for her.”
Jules nodded.
“Angela was here when I came home earlier. She’d been talking to Dad. Eli is coming next Monday and staying until Friday. So if you can be around to help entertain our little brother that’d be cool.”
“Sure thing. He says he’s no good at DIY, but he can come hang with me at work a little.”
“He’ll like that. He’s so desperate to be a part of us, you know. A real part. Not to be the new kid, but to be one of the Waites.”
“But he’s not a Waite, is he? He’s a Dawson.”
“You know what I mean.”
"I do."
“I wonder where she is?” Juliet added quietly.
“Could be anywhere.” I took a seat at the side of her.
“Ezra could probably find her. He has the money to pay a PI.”
“I think we’re better not knowing, Jules. If she was interested, she’d have been in touch.”
She sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. We’ve been fine without her. We’ll continue to be fine without her.” She stood up. “I’m going to head up to my room and watch The Stranger. Catch you later, bro.”
“Night, Jules. Love you.”
She looked back at me with a bemused expression. “Love you, too, but don’t tell the others I said that. Don’t want them thinking I have a heart.”
I laughed. My sister was so spiky on the surface, but we could all see that underneath there was a vulnerable abandoned daughter with trust issues.
Thinking of Ezra, I got out my phone and sent him a message.
Though you aren’t here, we do miss you, bro. So don’t leave it too long until you visit, okay? Eli’s coming Monday but you’ll always be one of the OG.
I was surprised when my phone pinged back more or less straightaway.
Ezra: Everything okay?
Yeah, just a neighbour lost her husband. Makes you appreciate what you have more. And things are weird with Eli being around, brings up thoughts of where Mum went.
Ezra: I do miss you all. It’s nothing personal my being away. I just love my job.
I know. Take care, brother.
Ezra: You too.
Switching on the television, I put it onto some mindless cop show and Dad, Callum, and Silas, eventually joined me. I didn’t tell them all I loved them, but inside I thought how grateful I was that they were in my life, and how I hoped Becca managed to get the support she needed through the months and weeks ahead.
Chapter Thirteen
Becca
The next day, once I could escape Violet’s mothering, or should I say smothering, I returned to my own house with Laurel. Luckily, the parties who had thrown a brick through the window had not returned. The living room was strangely dark because of the boarded-up window and so despite it being a bright, sunny day, I had to switch on the main light, conscious that I didn’t want Laurel falling over, especially given that I hadn't had another chance to check for glass fragments on the floor. The first thing I did was set up Laurel’s favourite DVD and leave her singing along while I did another thorough sweep of the floor. By nine am I had Milo and Josh Waite on my doorstep while a glazier's van parked up outside.
“Get a brew on then, Becca.” Milo patted me on the back. I loved that he wasn’t treating me any differently because I was a widow. He’d had pity in his eyes for me yesterday, but today wa
s back to his normal cheeky self.
He wandered up to Laurel and began dancing to the music of her DVD making her chuckle. She stood up grasping hold of his leg and trying to stop him while shouting, “No, Milo.” She then proceeded to show him the proper dance and bless him he learned it until she was satisfied he could do it properly.
He turned to me, “That’s some new moves to show Violet later,” he winked. I laughed. “Bingo. That’s what I’ve been missing, seeing that smile. Don’t let the 'bleep' grind you down, Becca.”
I simply nodded and walked into the kitchen to boil the kettle. Laurel had a tantrum at having to be moved away from her DVD, but I explained to her that Milo and Josh were mending the window and that she could watch them from the kitchen and help carry them a biscuit. Of course she kept eating the biscuits while keeping Milo and Josh thoroughly entertained by showcasing different dances or showing them her favourite toys. Despite my protests and attempts to keep Laurel in the kitchen, Milo and Josh said they didn’t mind at all and it was nice to see a little one. Once an exhausted Laurel had been put down for a nap, I called the local estate agents and arranged for them to come and value the house. Given the appointment they gave me was for the following day, I called my parents and said it made sense for me to stay in Willowfield one further night and also gave me chance to do some packing. My intention once Laurel was awake again, was to go out and purchase some storage boxes, but Milo told me they had plenty of spare boxes back at the yard and he’d bring me some once he’d finished the window repairs.
By the afternoon, the window had been replaced, Josh had left, and Milo had gone and then returned with a lot of boxes. I then began packing away our belongings while Laurel found new things to play with, usually something I’d just that minute packed. I was so nervous that someone would come back to throw another brick through the window, so I made sure to keep Laurel away from them at all times.
I’d never realised how long it took to pack away the simplest of items, but eventually I'd made a large inroads into packing up what Laurel and I could manage with at my parents’ house, and had started packing away our other belongings ready for longer storage. There were certain items that held memories of Rob that I had no intention of taking with me into my future life. For these, I rang the charity shop who arranged to come and pick the items up the following day. After what had happened with the brick being thrown through the window, my mind was made up that it was time to sell this house and that though my future was uncertain, I knew for definite that Laurel and I no longer belonged here.
