by Angel Devlin
“Let’s head to the park.” I told Finn and Eli. Of course, Eli hadn’t been there before, so he just walked alongside us.
“I know you’ve brought me out here to give me a lecture about being rude to Angela, but she needs to realise you're my family.”
“No, mate. What you need to realise is our real mother is a complete turd.” I snapped, seeing Finn’s head snap towards me in shock, his eyes wide. I stopped and turned to Eli. “Angela is amazing. I’ve only met her twice and I can see that. This woman has stayed by your side even though she has no biological attachment to you whatsoever. You should be proud to call her your mum, not insult her like you just did back at the house.”
Eli’s head dropped as his shoulders slumped.
“Steady on, Cal. Lad’s just trying to adjust to everything.”
I took a deep inhale. “I’m sorry I yelled. It’s been quite the day.” I put my arm around Eli. "Seriously, little bro, you can’t treat your mum like that. She’s been a constant for you all these years, and yes, she fully understands you want to spend time with us, but she’s making sure it’s organised properly. That’s what mum’s are supposed to do. Don’t forget that our dad is not yours. It’s all a bit awkward.”
“Does your dad not want me around?” Panic flooded Eli’s gaze.
“Dad’s fine with you staying. It must be difficult for him though. You’re the product of the affair that took our mum away, but dad understands that’s not your fault and he wants to get to know you as much as we do. But Dad will insist this is done the right way, with your mum’s full permission and not with you throwing yourself about saying you can do what you like.”
“I just really want to hang with you guys and get to know you better and I can do that if I come stay.”
I ruffled his hair. We were just reaching the park and I pointed towards the zip wire. “Come on, let’s go burn some of your energy off. Then we can go back and you can apologise, and then, we can negotiate,” I stressed the word out to Eli, “you staying at ours before you go back to school for the Autumn term.”
“Okay.” Eli nodded. He walked on ahead in his excitement to go first on the zip wire.
“You’re good with him.” Finn said. That’s why I asked you to come out with us. I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was going to say other than quit being a drama queen.”
“When he’s gone home, do you fancy coming back out for a pint?”
“Was going to ask you the same thing. It’s been quite a day hasn’t it? You can tell me what’s been happening at Becca’s.”
“I can also tell you that just before the drama happened with Becca, I ran into Tali at the bowling alley.”
“What? Fuck, what did she say?”
“She didn’t get to say anything. Milo and the rest came and collected me to go to Becca’s. When I turned back, she’d gone.”
“How did she look?”
“Surprised to see me, but good. She looked good.” I couldn’t deny it. She’d always been beautiful and that hadn’t changed.
“Let’s get Eli back and home with Angela, and then you’d best catch me up with everything.” He said. “It’s never boring with us lot, is it?”
I huffed. “Nope.”
Chapter Eleven
Becca
On the Saturday night and Sunday, I’d been in a state of shock, but by Monday morning, I’d called Roger Dexter and arranged to meet him at school. I actually felt guilty I was disturbing his summer break, but then again my whole life was being ripped apart.
Violet had arranged to go into work late so that she could look after Laurel for me. I hated how much I was inconveniencing other people, but what could I do? It wasn't appropriate to take her with me.
“I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to put these here.” I pushed an envelope containing the photos across the desk. “I’m going to tell you the contents so that you don’t have to look at them.” I breathed deep, trying to keep it together, while the headteacher waited for more of my words. “There are four photographs in there, Mr Dexter. Four Polaroids of four different pupils. One is Zoey. She was telling some truth it would seem. They’re all naked.”
Mr Dexter gasped. His hand covering his mouth.
I sat up straight, typical British stiff upper lip on display, even though I wanted to crumple to my feet and just give up on everything. “I’ve searched the house from top to bottom. I can’t find anything else. I know you’ll have procedures to follow now. I’ll help in whatever way I can.”
He nodded.
I stood up. “It doesn’t help anyone, and you don’t have to believe me, but I didn’t know. I promise you. I would never have stayed with a man capable of doing such things if I’d have known. I would have reported him. Now I somehow have to live with the truth of who he was, or the fact I didn’t know who he really was, while I mourn a man who didn’t really exist.”
Mr Dexter stood up also. “I’m sorry, Mrs Staveley. This must be very difficult, but I now need to contact the authorities.”
Leave. That’s what he was saying.
I nodded and then I walked away. I'd just dropped a lit fuse and now it would ignite and blow through Willowfield.
When I went back to Vi's I felt battered and bruised. I just wanted to retreat from the world.
"What did they say?" She asked me as I picked up Laurel and hugged her close. She immediately wiggled to be put down. She wanted to play with Rocky, not cuddle me.
"He's starting an investigation. Now I just have to wait."
"Well, you know you can stay here as long as you like. Do you fancy a drink?"
I shook my head.
"Thank you for everything you've done, but I just want to go back home. I'm going to pack up our things and make my way back. I just need some time to think."
"I understand."
So I returned to my house, a place that no longer felt like home. It was only a couple of hours later that there was a knock at the door and I opened it to find the police on my doorstep. They showed me their ID and I invited them inside. There was a man and a woman. I didn’t take much notice of their names. I just wanted them gone.
“I’m sorry for your loss. We understand this must be very difficult for you right now.” The policewoman said.
“It’s agony.” I blurted out truthfully. “Complete and utter agony, because I’m the one left behind to deal with it.”
They both nodded in a sympathetic way before the guy spoke. “We need to go through your husband’s belongings, especially things like his phone, laptop, etc.”
“So what happens?” I asked. “Seeing as he’s dead.”
“Our main concern is if there were other victims as well as the four girls in the photographs at this stage.”
I stood up. “Let me show you all his belongings so you can take what you need.”
Once they were ready to leave they asked if I would be going anywhere in case they had further questions.
“I might end up back at my parents' house, but I’ll make sure I always have my mobile phone so that you can reach me.”
When I closed the door behind them, I allowed my grief to hit me. Hot tears flooded my cheeks as my knees hit the carpet below my feet. I cried until I felt spent and exhausted, but there was no rest for me. Anger hit me from nowhere.
Knowing the police had taken everything they needed, I dragged out a storage box from under my bed, emptying the photos out of it. In here I would put a few items for Laurel when she was older, but everything else I needed gone.
While Laurel had a nap I went through his things. Every book he’d owned, every CD he’d played, every DVD he’d watched, I threw them in a black sack. Watches I’d bought him. Photos of us together or him alone, I put in a pile on the floor. I kept some family ones and placed them in the storage box, alongside some of just Laurel and Rob. Anything he’d had passed down to him like a signet ring from his grandfather I placed in the box for Laurel. Yes, his belongings could have gone
to charity, but I needed the satisfaction of dumping them. I opened the black bin and threw them inside. Then I grabbed a box of matches and the photographs. I gathered some twigs and I put the photos across them. Then I threw turps on them that we’d had in from painting. Standing back because I knew it would ignite with force, I threw a match on and as the flames whooshed I felt a sick sense of satisfaction in seeing Rob burn.
“You fucking idiot.” I yelled. “How could you? How could you do this to me and especially to Laurel, you utter, utter bastard.” I yelled. Grabbing a sweeping brush leant against the wall, I lifted and smashed it into the burning pile. Fury burned through me hotter than the fire and the next thing I knew I’d smashed the brush straight through a garden ornament Rob had bought.
I jumped out of my skin as arms came around me, pulling the brush from my hand and discarding it to the ground. I hit out in self defence against the person trying to stop me.
“Fuck, Becca, that hurt. Stop. Please just stop.”
Recognising the voice, the fight went out of me and I fell onto the grass, breathing heavy from all the exertion.
Callum stood in front of me, his eyes checking me over as if I might be injured. Oh I was injured alright, but it wasn’t my body. My injuries weren’t anything an eye could see.
“I heard you screaming. I flew down the side of Vi’s and up the side of yours. What’s going on? Has something else happened?” He looked at the small fire and the shattered ornament.
“Fuck, I’d better get this cleaned up. Laurel could injure herself.” I got back to my feet. "Fuck, I've probably woken her up anyway. I need to check on her."
“Stop.” Callum’s hands were on my arms, blocking my path. “We need to sort you out first. We can clear the path after. I'll check on Laurel.”
“Callum, go back to work. I’m fine. I just needed to do some clearing up of Rob’s things.” I shrugged him off me and went into the kitchen. He pushed past me and went to check on Laurel.
"She's still asleep." He informed me not a minute later.
"Good. It's the best thing for her right now. Not to witness her mother having a meltdown." The irony of using a sweeping brush to smash up an ornament and make some mess suddenly amused me and stopping, I burst into a peal of laughter, and then another as I took in Callum’s wary expression. He thought I’d cracked up clearly, and maybe I had.
“What’s happened today?” He said, no amusement on his own face.
“Nothing unusual, you know, just went to school and told the headteacher my dead husband was an abuser and then entertained a couple of police officers. Finished it all off with a clear out, hence the fire.”
Suddenly, I saw myself through Callum’s eyes. Unhinged. I slumped onto a seat at the kitchen table. “I can’t escape this shit show, Callum. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
He took the seat next to me and sucked on his top lip for a moment.
“I don’t know, Becca. I wish I had an answer for you, but I don’t.”
I sighed.
“But I can make a really good cup of tea, and I’m fab at cleaning up, so why don’t you sit tight and I’ll sort out the mess out there while you have a hot drink and try to calm down before Laurel wakes up?”
Nodding, I stayed in my seat and pointed to the cupboard under the sink where the dustpan and brush were kept. My energy was depleted, and I could hardly keep my eyes open.
“I can’t stay in this house. I need to put it up for sale and move somewhere else.”
“Where would you go?” He asked me.
“Probably nearer to my parents. It makes sense.”
“Becca, you’ve just lost your husband, found out all this other stuff. Don’t rush to put your house on the market.” He frowned. “Is there anywhere you can stay awhile? Is back with your parents an option? You need time to grieve. It’s not the right time to make huge decisions about your future.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I’m so fucking tired, Callum. So fucking tired.” I slumped my head back. “And now my whirlwind of a two-year-old will want to play.”
"I'll help you keep Laurel occupied. I got my job completed early so I'm free the rest of the day."
Once again, I had neighbours helping. It wasn't right. “I’m going to call my parents tonight and see if I can stay with them for a while. I think it’s for the best.”
"Are you sure, because I don't mind helping you at all, none of us do. You have friends here, Becca."
"I know. I just think it's for the best. Any minute the news about Rob will get out and the gossip will start. Then how will it be?"
"I'd not thought of that."
For a fleeting moment I wished Rob had never turned up for our blind date. What would have happened with the man currently helping me now?
I closed my eyes. I wouldn’t have had my daughter. My beautiful daughter who was my world. And this man had his demons too. I didn’t really know Callum Waite.
It struck me then, that at some point in the far away distance of life, people would expect me to date again. How the hell would I ever trust another soul? No. My heart was locked and sealed away for any romantic love. All my love would go on my daughter and in giving her the world.
“You’re a good friend, Callum Waite.” I told him and watched as he smiled at me.
“I’m glad you think so. And not that I’m just a nosy git sticking my oar in your business. We all just want to support you, Becca. We’ve been through our own share of drama have us Waites.”
“Would it be okay as a mate to ask if you want to have some Chinese with us tonight?” I was being selfish in asking I knew, but he helped me escape all the thoughts in my head.
“Sounds good to me.”
I smiled. That would pass the time until bedtime and then tomorrow, I would call my parents. I knew they’d not hesitate to let me come back. They’d not wanted me to leave in the first place. But if for some reason, they’d changed their mind, I’d book us into a hotel nearby, because I needed to get us away from Willowfield until Rob became yesterday’s fish and chip paper, rather than Guy Fawkes.
Chapter Twelve
Callum
Poor Becca and poor Laurel. What awful circumstances to be trying to cope with right now. The least I could do was say yes to a Chinese and try to distract them for a short while. Becca went to wake Laurel and brought a sleepy little girl downstairs. As soon as she saw me, her eyes brightened and Laurel immediately shouted “Daisy,” having remembered the last time I’d entertained her.
“Come on then, squirt. Although I’m not sure I can actually make them.” I recalled that last time Laurel hadn’t so much wanted a bracelet as to shred them to bits. That I could manage.
“You give your parents a ring while I entertain the little one.” I suggested to Becca.
"Okay." Picking up her phone, she went back into the kitchen, watching us through the window while she spoke.
Laurel was a picture of innocence as she moved around the garden from one thing to another, laughing and giggling as she went. I felt terribly sorry she had to live without her daddy. I knew what losing a parent was like, even if mine hadn’t died. Even though Laurel was young, as she got older she’d want to know all about him. No doubt Becca would have more problems to come with time.
Becca walked out into the garden and sat down on the grass at the side of me. “All sorted. We move back in with my parents tomorrow for as long as we like.”
“That’s good. They’ll no doubt love having Laurel around.”
“Yeah. They adore her.”
“It’s not hard to see why. She’s a gorgeous little thing.”
“Well, I think so, but I’m biased.”
We played with Laurel until hunger pangs hit and then we ordered the Chinese.
“Tell me what happened with your ex.” Becca blurted. I froze, a piece of lemon chicken in front of my mouth. “Vi said you bumped into her again the other day. Please tell me something. I promise not to tell anyone, even Vi. I just n
eed something to distract me from my own shit storm.”
I put the chicken in my mouth and chewed. Did I really want to talk about this? I looked at Becca. The truth was I had a feeling that once I began to open up to her, it would all pour out. Becca wasn’t the sort of person who’d let you short change her. I knew she’d question and push at me for answers if I began to tell my tale. But how could I say no to the person currently going through what she was going through?
“I left my ex at the altar on our wedding day.” I said, waiting for a gasp that didn’t come. So she did know then, no doubt courtesy of Vi. I wondered how much of it Vi had told her. Looked like soon I'd be wise to tell the rest of my family what I was about to tell Becca. They'd been patient with me, but finding out I told a relative stranger before them wouldn't go down well if I didn't and somehow the truth came out. “I had my reasons.”
“Which were?” She pressed.
“If I tell you, you need to hear the whole of it. Beginning to end.”
"That's fine," she said, so I began.
“I met Tali in a nightclub when I was nineteen. She was a year younger. To cut a long story short, we fell in love and I proposed. Her father never liked me and so I never asked his permission to marry her, because I knew he wouldn’t have given it.”
“Why did he not like you?”
“Because to him I had no prospects. Tali’s father was a successful businessman who travelled the world and worked in finance. They lived in a large detached house in Danesford where the driveway was so long it took ten minutes to reach the front door. I was a trainee electrician in Willowfield and although it was a family firm, I discovered that it wasn’t anything he wanted his grandchildren to inherit. It wasn’t seemly.”
“He told you this?” Becca looked astounded.
“Eventually, yes.” I confirmed, “but there’s a lot more to this story yet.”
She nodded for me to continue.
