by Angel Devlin
Violet pulled me into her arms. “I’m sorry for pushing, Cal. Please forgive me. I thought you still loved her. Thought I could maybe get you to go see her before it was too late…”
“Don’t sweat it, Vi. You’re right. I do need to see her. I’ve wondered about telling her the truth for a while. But I haven’t because ultimately what does it do?”
Violet pulled back. “It gives you closure. Like when I went to see my mum. It can help you move on. And what about your ex? Maybe it’s given her issues that you could draw a line under?”
“Yeah, perhaps it’s time. Then she can get married and live happily ever after, eh?”
It was there in the loved-up Vi’s face. The possibility of some kind of fairy tale where the exes reunited and lived happily ever after. A possibility she’d not thought could happen for herself until recently, now became achievable for anyone else.
I didn’t know how I’d manage to get near enough to her to speak to Tali. I’d been blocked on her social media a long time ago, but somehow, I’d make the effort and get that final closure Vi spoke of because maybe it was that which stopped me moving on. Maybe I made my not being able to have a kid my excuse to face up to the disaster which was my wedding day.
“Okay, excuse me, I’m going to go choose a different ball because I can’t get three pins again. I’m coming last, look.” All three of us looked at the board. “If I just get a few more I can beat Angela at least.”
“Yeah, it’s pitiful. Angela’s not the slightest bit interested. She just basically keeps lobbing hers down and going back to chat with everyone before she’s even looked at what score she’s got.” Milo added helpfully.
“Her and Dad seem deep in conversation.”
“Got a lot to talk about, haven’t they? Eli’s asked if he can come and stay for a few days with it being the school holidays.”
I left Milo and Vi chatting and went over to one of the main racks holding all the bowls. After trying a few I could see I needed a size that wasn't on this rack so I began to wander up towards the next one. My hand reached out for the correct ball and then I heard a, “Callum?”
As I stood up and looked into the eyes of Tali, my ex, I wondered if I was dreaming. How could I be seeing her here now after we’d just been talking about her? Reality showed she really was there though as the shock caused me to lose my grip and the bowling ball hit my foot.
Chapter Nine
Becca
I’d felt so much better after the walk to the park. Vi had been right to make me go out and Laurel had loved it, making friends and running around, her breakfast and sleep having given her a ton of energy. Maybe soon it would be time to consider a part-time nursery place for her. She was three in mid-September. I needed to look and see what was available. I knew my parents loved looking after her while I did my part-time job, but there was something to be gained from being able to hang around with kids her own age, and we only had one toddler group around here on a Monday that my mum and dad had taken her to. Now that would be me. I’d never really been one for groups and polite chit chat. The whole thing made me feel icky, so maybe a nursery placement would work better or a childminder. Then I only had the drop off and collection to suffer.
But then there’d be birthday parties.
And playdates.
Looked like my life was most definitely having a complete upheaval. Did Becca Staveley have to actually become sociable?
My phone began ringing with an unknown number. Usually, I wouldn't answer, but right now I didn't know if it could be important. I'd had many strange numbers ringing lately, due to my dealing with funeral directors etc, so I pressed accept and brought it to my ear.
“H- hello.”
“Mrs Staveley?”
“Yes?”
“It's Roger Dexter, Rebecca. Are you okay to talk?”
Roger Dexter, the Head of Rob's school. It was a moment that seemed like a lifetime. My past of either truth or lies lay before me.
"Yes, I can talk."
“How are you doing?”
False platitudes. I had run out of patience for them. I wanted to know the truth.
“What’s the verdict on my husband? I guess that’s why you’re calling.”
“Erm, yes, I've been in to school due to the circumstances. We had Zoey in and her mother, and well, Zoey is not pregnant. Not in the slightest.”
I breathed out, a slow exhale that felt like every muscle and fibre of my body began to loosen.
“So did she admit to lying?”
“No, unfortunately she was adamant that she was telling the truth about a sexual relationship with your husband, but there is no evidence. She couldn’t provide any. We’re getting her some additional help as she is in quite a state.”
“Her and me both.”
“Anyway, I thought I’d let you know that as far as the school are concerned that’s the end of the matter and Zoey’s mum asked me to pass on her condolences and her deepest apologies and asked that you bore in mind that Zoey has issues.”
“Is that everything?”
“Just to ask you about Rob's locker. Do you want the contents? We can box them up and send them to you?”
“I'd appreciate that. Thank you.”
“You understand that we had to follow this through and look into it, Rebecca? I’m sorry for the intrusion on your grieving. We all will dearly miss Rob.”
“I have to go now; my daughter is shouting for me.” I hung up. They’d dearly miss my husband who they thought was abusing a pupil. Yes, I understood what they’d had to do, but what I didn’t have to do was listen to them anymore.
Now I could mourn my husband properly and hope if he was watching he forgave me for ever doubting him. I couldn’t deny to myself that a small percentage had wondered if Zoey was telling the truth. She was a fucking good liar, I’d give her that. I only hoped that they found someone else who could get her on a better path in life.
Now, I would take each day at a time, the way we could only ever really live, in the moment, and hope time indeed was a healer.
Thinking that I wanted to feel closer to Rob, but that I needed to do something to accept he was no longer here, I decided to go through his clothes, and began to fill a charity bag. Laurel was napping and so I had the time. Rob had always had his favourite clothes and only ever wore about a third of his wardrobe anyway, so I could get rid of the things he'd never really worn now and then take my time accepting letting go of the ones that would bring me different memories as I held them in my hands.
He’d been buried in his wedding suit. It had still fitted him perfectly, which made me smile because I’d be lucky if I could get one leg inside my wedding dress. Childbirth changed a woman’s body, and I personally wouldn’t change a thing. I’d much rather have the womanly curves I had now, that extra pound or two on my midriff and my bottom, than be the skinny minny of my wedding day where I’d dieted to look as amazing as I felt possible; some version of myself that youth and vanity had made me strive for.
I packed up his summer clothes first. The ones Rob only ever took on holiday. Loud coloured t-shirts that were emblazoned with words like Ibiza 1982. Shorts that would induce a migraine. There was no smell of Rob around these clothes, just a fustiness and I threw them into the black sack with ease. I stared at the wardrobe wondering what to do next. The irony of the black suit hanging in the wardrobe was not lost on me. Rob’s funeral suit. Last worn to his father’s. Never to be worn again, while in other people’s wardrobes similar black suits hung last worn to his.
I pulled it out of the wardrobe, folding up the jacket and placing it in the bag. Pulling the trousers from the hanger I felt a padding in the pocket. A wallet. I took it out and opened it to see if there was anything inside, any hidden money long forgotten about. I could see the edge of photographs and sitting myself against the bed, I extracted them and prepared for an onslaught of memories.
But that wasn’t what I got.
As my body began to ret
ch, as my world began to spin and whirl, my mind caught up to the images. The images of four different teenage girls posing nude for the camera, for the Polaroid pictures, one who was clearly Zoey. I lost my grip on reality and blackness consumed me.
Chapter Ten
Callum
I didn’t get chance to talk further to Tali due to a mass exodus of the Waite family.
“Callum, there’s an emergency. We’re off.” Milo growled, alongside Vi, and Jules.
I searched their faces to try to read what was happening. “What the fuck happened?”
“Becca’s called Vi. She found something about her husband. She’s in pieces. We’re going to see what we can do to help.”
“I’m coming.”
It was then I noticed that Tali had gone. No doubt as soon as my siblings had approached. Perhaps we weren’t ever meant to have a conversation to clear the air after all. I had no further time to think on it as I collected my shoes and got the hell out of there with my family.
“Dad, Silas, and Finn are staying to finish the game with Eli and Angela. We just told them Becca needed us. They think it’s a grief thing.”
I wasn’t sure why I’d been included in the rescue group. Vi and Jules were her friends and Milo went where Vi went. Obviously, the fact we’d chatted last night now meant I was Team Becca.
“So what’s happened?” I asked while Milo drove us back to their house.
“I could hardly make out a word she said, but she mentioned finding some photographs and that she didn’t know what to do.” Vi twisted a strand of hair, her foot bouncing as if it might help get us there faster.
The ten-minute journey seemed to take much longer, but eventually Milo pulled up outside their house. Jules and Vi leapt out. “You girls see what’s happening and call us if you need us.” Milo said kissing his fiancée’s cheek. Vi nodded at him, her forehead wrinkled, and then her and Jules went running up Becca’s path.
“So what do we do?” I asked my brother as he locked the car and leant against it.
“Wait a few minutes, see if they need us and if not, go see a very fussy dog.”
“Okay.”
Within a couple of minutes, Milo’s phone started ringing. He listened, said “Okay,” and nodding his head he started walking in the direction of Becca’s house.
“It’s bad and none of them know what to do. Let’s go see what’s going on.”
“Fuck.” Was the only response I could think to give, and I followed my brother up to Becca’s front door where Jules let us inside, rubbing at her brow.
“We don’t know what we’re supposed to do. Ring the police or what? Come, listen, and help.”
The word police had me on full alert. What the fuck had she found? I don’t know what came over me, but I pushed past Milo and strode into the living room.
What I saw devastated me. Becca was hysterical. On her knees on the living room floor with Violet’s arm around her as she sobbed and spoke words I couldn’t fully make out. Little Laurel looked bewildered, crying herself and clutching at Becca who seemed to be desperately trying to soothe her baby girl, smoothing her hair.
Laurel looked at Milo and then me and shouted, “Daddy.”
We all froze.
Becca spoke through hitched breaths. “She’s at th-that age. Ev-very man d-daddy.”
Moving forward, I scooped Laurel up into my arms. “Hello, baby girl. Shall we go look for butterflies in the garden?”
She nodded her head, “Budderfly.”
“I’ll come with you.” Jules added and she walked with me through to the kitchen, unlocking the back door so I could step outside with Laurel.
The little tiny body in my arms was warm and wriggly as she turned looking for butterflies. A gasp of pain came at the fact I might never experience this for myself. A little ball of wonder, innocence personified, trusting the person who held her, while looking for the magic in the world. Jules searched the garden, and I could see she was almost praying for a butterfly to appear, but there was nothing. I thought back to my childhood and remembered my own mother, when she was home and gave a shit. Sitting in the garden with Jules and making daisy chains. I looked at the unmown grass. Bingo.
“Jules.” I called her. “Daisy chains.”
A look of relief hit my sister’s features. “Yes!” I put Laurel down and sat next to her and Jules rushed over plucking a daisy from the grass. “Laurel. Let me make you a daisy chain.” Laurel’s chubby little hand reached for the daisy in Jules’ hand and Jules let her have it.
“Flower.”
“Yes, Laurel, pretty flower.”
While Jules made a daisy chain, I kept passing the odd daisy to Laurel who was pulling petals off and throwing them around. She’d get up and go pull one up herself, along with a clump of grass and come show us, earning praise for her endeavours. And while she was busy, Jules told me about what Becca had found. I wanted to be sick.
“How the fuck is she supposed to process that? Her husband, who she was madly in love with, took advantage of young girls. She doesn’t know if they were all sixteen. Even so, even if they were over the age of consent, he still abused his position as a counsellor at school.”
“So she needs to phone the police or contact the school.”
Jules shrugged. “We don’t know what to do, that’s the problem. Need to do some Googling, but first we have to get Becca to calm down. She could do with some meds, but the doctors are emergencies only at weekends and she won’t take anything because of Laurel anyway.”
I took my phone out of my pocket. “Let’s see if I can find anything while we’re out here.”
“Your search history is gonna be a bit dubious.”
“Yeah, well, anything that can help.”
All I come up with is information from the NSPCC about it being against the law for people working in school to have sexual relations with children, even if they are over the age of consent, and that not every role was covered and so they were on a mission to close loopholes.
“It seems like she needs to contact the Head so they can activate their child safeguarding procedures. There’s no point calling the police because Rob’s dead, so he’s no longer a danger to these kids.” I sigh. “Not in body anyway. Only hell knows what damage he’s done to them psychologically.”
Jules bit her lip. “And they were vulnerable anyway. That’s why they were seeing him. It’s disgusting. How the hell is Becca supposed to get her head around any of this? She’s lost her husband and found out all this.”
“She’s going to need a counsellor herself.”
“What a mess.” Jules sighed and we returned to making daisy chains and entertaining Laurel.
A while later, Violet came outside to get Laurel.
“How is she?” Jules asked.
“Not good. She won’t call her parents who we think she needs right now. She’s agreed to come and stay at ours tonight. Milo’s said he'll go in the spare room so me, Becca, and Laurel can sleep in our bed. I guess she needs to wait until she's called the headteacher. There’s no quick fix here.” She turned to Laurel. “Let’s go back to Mummy. Bring your daisies.”
“That’s our cue to leave.” Jules looked at me and I nodded back. As we returned to the living room, Becca’s gaze met mine before she quickly looked away. Her eyes were swollen to the point of almost being shut. Jules touched her arm. “If you need either of us for anything, you just call, okay?”
Becca nodded. “Thank you for being here.” She looked around, her eyes filling with tears again. “All of you.”
Without thinking, I stepped forward and took her into my arms. Her body collapsed against me as she broke down once more. “We’re all here for you.” I murmured into her hair. “Every one of us. Do not feel embarrassed because of what that shit of a husband did.”
Violet approached, a look on her face that said, ‘you can step away’ now. I passed Becca to her arms and walked out, Milo following me.
“What was that all ab
out?”
“What?” I shrugged.
“Listen, bro. I’m King of rescuing princesses, remember? That seemed a lot like swooping in to save the damsel in distress.”
“Just feel really sorry for her. Got to be rough, with having the little kid and all.”
He raised a brow, but he didn’t challenge me any further. I left him at his front door and I walked around the side of his house, cut through the garden and went back to mine.
And entered another drama. The rest of the family were back and my new little brother seemed to be making his presence known.
“I want to stay here for a week. You can’t stop me.” He screeched at Angela, who stood with her hands on her hips. My dad stood there looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here.
“Eli. You can’t just invite yourself into someone else’s home, and also, we need to sort this properly. I’d rather we spoke about this at home and then you let me speak to Josh.”
“He said I could stay. Didn’t you, Mr. Waite? I have a room and everything.”
“It has to be with your mother’s agreement.”
“She’s not my mum.” He yelled and I heard Finn’s sharp intake of breath. “Right, buddy, let’s me and you go for a walk around the block.” He grabbed Eli’s arm. “C’mon, Callum. You can come too.”
So much for some time to get my head together. In one evening, I’d seen my ex, been witness to Becca’s horrendous situation, and now things were kicking off under my own roof. Shame Eli wasn’t over eighteen because I could really use a drink.
I sighed. “Okay, let’s go. Time to find out having brothers isn’t all sweetness and light, young man.” I folded my arms across my chest looking at a pouting Eli. I gave Angela a sympathetic smile. “We’ll be back soon. I’ll leave my dad to get you a drink and reassure you about dealing with stroppy teenagers. He had enough of us.”
Angela smiled back, although her eyes were definitely looking a bit glassy. I followed my brothers out of the house. What a day.
