by Angel Devlin
Rob's mother was appalled at my actions and told me that she still believed that the girls were liars, ironic given how she'd behaved when she thought Zoey might be pregnant. She chose to have nothing more to do with me and Laurel. As far as I was concerned, if she wanted to see her granddaughter she could, but she would have to reach out to me now. I was done trying to be the peacemaker with the carnage Rob left behind. From now on, my daughter's happiness and my own future life were my priority, and if we never saw Paula again then so be it.
I'd changed my surname when I first returned to my parents' house and changed my daughter's too. I was not a Staveley and my daughter would be one biologically only. Laurel was so young she hadn't noticed the change.
It had taken me a long time to get to the stage where I had some kind of peace and that was in no small part due to the counsellor Violet had put me in touch with.
I’d been through so many emotions over the past months, but Jennifer had helped me realise that I wasn’t to blame for anything Rob had done and so I shouldn’t punish myself. I was allowed to mourn the man I believed I had been married to, but also I didn’t have to feel guilty that my mourning was less, that I’d moved on faster than I’d have expected, because of the ugly truths that had come to light.
Last week I’d actually been out for a coffee with one of the single dads at Laurel’s nursery. It was only a friend thing, but I knew I wouldn’t rule out finding happiness again now, although I did know my trust would be hard won. I’d stopped thinking about the future in the longer term. The past months had shown me that nothing was certain in this life and that life could change in the blink of an eye, so I was all for living in the moment. And the current moment was that it was February of a brand new year and Laurel and I had been in our new home for ten days now.
Not much needed doing to it, which I was thankful for because I could wield a paintbrush no problem, but there was no way I could have coped with a renovation project like Vi’s had been.
Vi. A hit of guilt flooded my stomach. At first, I’d kept in touch, but as I settled into my new life here in Hill Green, it seemed more sensible for me to stick with the new and let go of any ties to my old life.
But now I felt guilty because Vi had been a good friend and after a while I’d just let her texts go unanswered until they stopped appearing. The last one had simply said.
This is my last text. I don’t know if you lost your phone or have made the decision to move on, but I am ALWAYS here. Even if it’s five years from now. V xo
Once again, I hesitated, wondering if I should send a quick text, just to let her know how I was getting on. But once more, I decided against it. What was the point? I had no intention of ever going back to Willowfield. No, it was best I just moved on.
The only thing in my new house was I could use a few more sockets around the place. It would be so simple to ring Callum Waite and ask him to help; but, come on, Becca, I scolded myself, there would be loads of electricians much closer to home.
I thought about Callum from time to time. Wondered if he’d ever managed to speak to his ex, and whether he was back dating again.
No one was more surprised than me when I walked out of my counsellor’s offices to find Callum walking in, his tool bag in his hand.
“Cal.”
“Becca.”
We both spoke at the same time.
Cal scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Erm, it’s good to see you, even if we are stood outside…” He trailed off.
“Well, I can see you’re here for work, whereas, yes I’m here for my issues. Though that was actually my last session.”
“Well, I'm here to do a job today, but actually I came here myself. Vi gave me Jennifer's number. I had six weeks of appointments about my own… issues.”
“Surprised I haven’t bumped into you before then. Well…”
“Do you want to go grab some lunch? I’m sure Jennifer won’t mind if I started my job a bit later.”
“Err.”
“Becca. We bumped into each other nowhere near where either of us live. This could be the Indian all over again. Let’s give fate a chance, hey, and just check in with each other. We missed you.” He said.
I couldn’t deny that I was happy to see him. My body betrayed me with its faster beating heart and the butterflies in my stomach.
“Okay.” I agreed. “I have time for lunch.”
“I’ll just be a minute.” Callum said, heading inside the building I’d just left.
So he’d been seeing a counsellor too. I mulled over our chance meeting as I waited. Callum looked good. His skin was a little paler due to it being the winter. It made his hair seem darker and his eyes stand out more. The scruff on his chin framed his face. He seemed relaxed. Much happier and more confident in his own skin. Or maybe I was projecting. Who knew?
He came back out of the building, a huge smile on his face that made his eyes sparkle. “Okay, I have an hour, let’s go find somewhere to eat.” There were a few food places on the nearby streets so we started walking in the direction of the food smells until we decided on a Subway. He insisted on buying both our meals and then we walked upstairs and found a table. While we’d been walking, I’d been telling him about my new house. It seemed something easy and comfortable to chat about.
“We have a lot to catch up on. I’m not sure an hour will be enough.” He joked.
I chewed on my bottom lip.
“Out with it, whatever is on the tip of your tongue.” He said.
“Well, actually, I do need a few extra sockets putting in at my new property. But I was going to ask someone local.”
“No, I’ll do it.”
“Cal…”
“Becca.” He said firmly. “I want to come and nosy at your new home and catch up.”
“Can I ask you something?” I said.
“Sure, anything.”
“Will you not tell Violet you’ve seen me? Not at the moment. It’s not her; it’s just… I’m not sure I want any connections with Willowfield reopened.”
He sat straighter and his jaw tightened.
“I’m a connection to Willowfield.”
“Yes, but you’re here, not there. It’s… different.”
His eyes met mine and now it was like he wanted to say something. But he didn’t.
“I’ll come price up the job, and I’ll do it on a weekend and say I’m meeting someone. I’ll find an excuse.”
“Thank you. So, anyway, how have you been?” I asked him. “Did you ever speak to your ex?”
He shook his head. “No. Because there was no result to come from it that would benefit anyone. I didn’t want Tali back, and she’s getting ready to move on her with her life. I was shown techniques to help me deal with my bitterness about what happened. I’m good. I’ve been dating again. Nothing serious, but I've been getting back out there. How about you?”
I told him about how I’d given up Rob’s part of the house proceeds and bought the house that I’d fallen in love with. How I’d met the single dad for coffee but as a friends thing. Our conversation was comfortable. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen him for six months. It was like I’d seen him yesterday and I’d known him forever, and honestly, I didn’t know what to do with this feeling. At the same time we were chatting, I was trying to work out what was going on here. But the truth was I just didn’t know.
Take it for what it is. A catch up with someone you once knew a little. Someone who cared that you were okay and is still checking in with you.
But I knew deep down that there was more going on here than that. I just didn’t know if I was prepared to face up to it.
So instead I carried on chatting until the hour was up and then I gave Callum my new phone number and my new address and arranged for him to call in later after he’d finished his job to price up mine.
We walked back to the counselling offices where I’d left my car. “Right then, I’ll see you later.” I told him. “You’ll see a huge change in Laurel. She�
�s growing up fast.”
He nodded. “I bet. Even Milo’s grown up in the last six months.”
I chuckled at that. “So do you like chicken nuggets, chips, and beans because that’s what’s on the agenda for tea at a certain girl’s request.”
“Sounds good to me.” He paused. “I’m glad I bumped into you today, Becca. Really glad.” He looked nervous.
I took a deep breath. “Yeah, me too.”
Cal’s body visibly relaxed. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Yeah.” It was like I didn’t want to walk away from him. Just in case something happened and I didn’t see him again. The thought struck me to walk back into the counsellors and ask for an emergency appointment because I was clearly losing my mind.
Callum seemed to be the same, not turning for the door.
With a firm resolve, I turned and walked away, got back in my car and drove out of the car park. As I looked in my rear-view mirror, he was still there, watching me leave.
Chapter Nineteen
Callum
When I’d seen her I’d thought I was imagining things. You know how you can imagine water in the desert? Well, for a moment I’d thought that maybe I’d dreamed Becca up as she stood in front of me. She’d looked good. Her hair was a little longer, her figure a little fuller. She looked healthy. It was nice to see her not wearing the mask of shame and grief that I’d got used to seeing over those last days before she’d left.
Now I stood on the doorstep of her new house, having just rung the bell. I actually felt a little nervous, like date nervous.
This is not a date, Callum. You’re pricing up a job, remember? I told myself. But I knew I’d not charge Becca anything beyond the materials, and probably not even that.
The door opened and Becca stood there, looking a little less relaxed, a beaming little girl at her side. “Come in. I’m about to burn chicken nuggets and Laurel was mid-tantrum.”
She rushed back through to the kitchen while Laurel shouted after her, “I was not, Mummy. I just needed my hair brushed right now.”
I closed the door behind me, removed my shoes, hung up my coat and followed the direction they’d gone in.
Laurel stood there with a brush in her hand, waving it at her mum.
“Laurel, baby, I can’t do your hair right now. I’m fixing our dinner.”
Laurel sighed. "I don’t look pretteeeee.” She wailed.
I stepped forward. “Miss Laurel, you are the prettiest girl I ever did see.”
She looked me over. “My hair is knotty. Grandma said keep it pretty for boys.”
Becca whirled around and rolled her eyes at me.
“People should like you for what’s inside.” I told Laurel.
“Like my tummy?” She said frowning and pressing it with her free hand.
“More like your heart.” I replied. “You know; how kind you are.”
“I'm kind. Let a spider live in Mummy’s bedroom.”
Becca looked horrified. I gathered she wasn’t keen on eight-legged beasts.
“Do you want to sit at the table, you two, and I’ll get us some drinks before I plate up? It’s almost ready now.”
I took the cutlery from her and began to put it at the side of the placemats.
“We usually only have two people here. You make three. I can count all the way up to twenty.” Laurel proceeded to count, missing out the numbers nine and thirteen.
“That’s brilliant, Laurel. You’re so very clever.”
She beamed.
As we ate, it became apparent that we weren't going to get caught up on very much due to a little chatterbox who could barely eat her food around everything she felt she needed to tell me: from who her new friends were, to her new favourite toys.
“Laurel, you need to talk less and eat more.” Becca chastised her.
“But, Mummy, Cal came for tea and you said we hadn’t seen him for a long time since the old house. He might not come again for a long time.”
“I’m coming back on Saturday to put you some new plug sockets in.” I told her.
“Oh, okay.” She said and started to eat.
I couldn’t help but have a chuckle.
Once we’d eaten, I walked around the house and made a note of where Becca told me she wanted her extra sockets. It was a nice house, and I wondered if she missed her old house at all.
“It’s a really nice house.” I told her.
“As soon as I saw it up for sale, I knew I had to put an offer in. I’d admired it many a time walking to school. Plus, it’s near my parents which is a bonus.”
“So I gather you’re a lot closer to your parents in the emotional sense too now?”
“They’ve been my rocks and I don’t know what I would have done without them, but I’m still someone who likes her own space and privacy and I’m very pleased we now have a place of our own.” Her eyes swept around the room and a smile rested on her lips.
“Yeah, I’m wondering about doing the same myself.” I confessed.
“What? You’re thinking of moving out? Where would you go?” Becca looked genuinely interested, rather than just paying me lip service.
I shrugged. “I’ve not thought about it, beyond it being a possibility. I just think, I’m twenty-five now and I wouldn’t mind a bit more independence. My dad spoke to us all a while back about taking our own parts of the business and becoming our own bosses and I think that’s the way for me to go, to become self-employed.” I’m thinking out loud and making my mind up to speak to my father about it as I do so.
“Well I'm back working at a supermarket Monday to Wednesday. I’d say it's great because I get a discount on my shopping bill, but I buy far too many packets of biscuits." She patted her stomach.
Though I wanted to compliment her on her figure, I decided not to. It might make her feel awkward. We were only just getting used to each other's company again. “I eat tons of biscuits. They’re always being offered along with a cuppa when I’m working.”
“Oooh, you can help me eat through my stash this weekend.”
Her statement about me coming back that weekend brought my visit to a timely close. Becca needed to get Laurel’s nightly routine underway, and I was ready to get home and veg out on the sofa, hopefully with a can of beer. I might even have a word with Dad.
Saying goodbye to both of them, and confirming I’d see them on Saturday, I drove home. I felt ridiculously happy for someone who'd mainly listened to a three-year-old while eating chicken nuggets. But I'd enjoyed my time with them. Steady on, Cal. I had to remind myself that once I’d done the electrics at the weekend that was it; there’d be no reason for me to see Becca again.
I needed to talk to Jules, and ask her advice, because I didn’t want it to be the last time. I didn’t want that at all.
As I stepped through the doorway of our family home, I thought about how much I’d miss this if I did move out. The blaring lights, the homely smells of food and the hum of the television, along with chattering voices. But maybe Milo moving out was the first sign of the change that needed to come?
Heading into the kitchen to see if anyone had put any beer in the fridge, I found my dad at the sink washing up.
He turned and nodded at me. “You okay, son?”
“Yes thanks, Dad. Been a busy day. Just going to see if there’s any beer.”
“I bought some on my way home, but I’d grab one quickly; you know how long things like that last in this house.”
I took out a can and ripped the top off. It made that satisfying fizzing noise, but thankfully didn’t spill out. I swallowed a mouthful and then swiped the back of my hand over my lip. “Dad, do you have time to talk to me about what you said about our businesses and us potentially heading up our own bit?”
“Sure. Let me finish these few dishes and then we could head into the dining room? You go through and I’ll see you in there.”
"Great. I'll just be getting changed. Meet you in there in ten."
Dad walked in, ru
bbing at his eyes, and it struck me how tired he looked. “You alright? Not sleeping well?”
He wrinkled up his nose. “I’m okay. This house is just a busy one that’s all, especially with young Eli being around more and more. Then I went out last night. I’m not as young as I used to be.”
“Oh, you go anywhere nice?”
“Just out for a bite to eat.”
I tilted my head and studied my father’s face.
“Dad. Did you go out on a date?”
He waved his hand in a ‘don’t be daft’ gesture. “Nah, it was just a bite to eat. A bit of company.”
“Anyone I know?”
“Let’s chat about this business stuff, shall we? If I ever have anything I want to share about my personal life, I’ll let you know.”
In other words, ‘mind your own business’. I didn’t mind that Dad didn’t want to talk about it. If he had gone out with someone, then this was new territory for him too as far as I was aware. But I hoped it led onto good things for him; he deserved it.
“So, I’ve been having a good think about things for a few months now, Dad, and I’ve decided that I’d very much like to start my own electrical business. You know, take my part of it and run it myself. I know you’d spoken about this, so…”
“I think it’s a good idea if you’re ready." Dad said encouragingly. "Just a matter of I don’t pay you a salary any more. You work out how you want to run things, and Violet can help you with the secretarial side of things still, until you get on your feet. Then you might want to take on someone yourself. It all depends on how you want to do this. Stay under the umbrella of Waite Home Renovations or fully start out on your own."
“I know I’ve a lot to think about, including how to balance Waite work alongside any new business.”
