Jezebel's Ladder

by Scott Rhine

  Daniel’s eyes popped out a little as she stood up and held the revealing dress against her chest. Swallowing, he said, “Thank you.”

  “I knew you’d like a book on French Impressionism,” Jez said.

  Daniel looked down at the book in his hands. “Yeah, that too.”

  “By the way, I got my own key. So I can give yours back. I can’t thank you enough,” the girl said as she bent to kiss Jez on the cheek.

  Jez was going to say that she meant for the newcomer to get her own apartment, but just went with the flow. “My purse is on the stand by the door. It seems I have to be ready to leave on a moment’s notice around here. I’ve got an overnight case packed.”

  While Nena was out of earshot, Jez asked, “How’s it going?”

  “No new actives,” he reported. When she nodded toward the girl, he went, “Oh, okay. I’ve stopped her from going on dates with three other guys already.”

  “You haven’t told her how you feel?” she asked. He stammered ineffectually for a few moments till Nena came back with a prescription bottle.

  “Prenatal vitamins,” Nena stated. “Anything we should know?” Daniel dropped his art book on the floor.

  “No. I’m just anemic or something.”

  “That’s hard to believe. I saw you walking on Mr. Hollis’s arm. You’ve got to be dating.”

  “No. We go on our…second one tomorrow, technically. But it’s more as friends. I tricked him into it because I like how he treats me. I’m not ready for the sort of relationship you’re talking about yet.”

  Nena cocked an eyebrow, but Daniel defended. “It’s true. She can’t lie anymore, not since that shock to the back of her head.”

  Nena made an O with her mouth. “That’s a fun trait in a roommate.” Daniel snickered until she asked, “What were you two whispering about behind my back?”

  “He likes you but is too chicken to ask you out. There may actually be a shrine to you in his room.”

  Daniel turned red, and slugged Jez in her bad arm. “Ouch! Watch it. You’ve been working out too much to do that anymore.”

  He fumbled several apologies.

  Nena just said, “Interesting. Are we going to eat out to celebrate your success?”

  Jez shook her head. “I can’t; I’ve got a new laptop to break in, but you two can still go.”

  “Subtle,” Daniel complained quietly.

  “Okay,” Nena agreed. “But he’s paying. I don’t have a positive balance in my checking yet. I’ll just touch up my makeup, then we can go.”

  Daniel was speechless. Jez just opened her new laptop and smiled.

  Chapter 16 – The Problem with Claudette

  When Benny picked her up the next afternoon, it was in a specially reinforced, black van. Although it didn’t appear armored, the walls and glass were thicker and heavier than normal. “The tires also run when flat,” he explained.

  There were three guards in the van in addition to the driver. The only place available for Jez to sit was the bench seat beside the former star. “You really know how to impress a girl.” She wore white capris, tennis shoes, a hint of makeup, and a shirt that plunged a little deeper than her work outfits.

  She looked him over as she slid in. Benny could have been dressed for a normal work day, aside from trading his polished loafers for comfortable deck shoes. It was a start.

  Once the van door closed, he announced, “Officially, this is a trip to get Jerry Lewis and a certain French director to have lunch with our good envoy on Monday. If I can arrange this, he’ll take vacation time for the visit and then give his notice.”

  She grabbed his hand and said, “Thank you! I knew you could do it. How do you know all these people?”

  “It’s a secret society of Hollywood medical charities. Jerry always jokes that you have to be Jewish, British, or have the disease to join. Seriously, Jerry was a mentor for me early in both of my careers. He’s a very sharp business man, the only actor I know who owns his own film master prints. Getting the director, however, will require calling in a favor. That’s where we’re going now.”

  Since he was being secretive, she stuck to her immediate goal. “Is Tom’s boss okay with the short notice?”

  “For lunch with those two, his boss said he would drive him to the airport personally. If Tom resigns, it will be to ‘spend more time with his family.’”

  She furrowed her brow. “He doesn’t have a family anymore; he spent all his time at work.”

  Benny glanced at the hand she was still holding and said, “It’s code in a government job. It usually means they are resigning to prevent a scandal.”

  “But he’s squeaky clean.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe, but it helps his government save face. Nobody wants someone announcing, ‘I took a job to afford a retirement house in California.’”

  She blinked. “Is everybody I recruit getting paid more than me? It makes it hard to be their manager.”

  He thought for a few moments. “I see your point, but we need to maintain your cover. Normally, headhunters get a bonus equal to 10 percent of the employee’s first year’s salary. Does that sound equitable?”

  Caught off guard by the generosity, she agreed.

  Eventually, he took his hand back to flip through a situation report on his smart phone. She wasn’t accustomed to being ignored on a date. Even the Fossils had shown her a better time.

  She tried another tactic. “Did Tan like his souvenir from Paris?”

  “The replica of the Lady Diana memorial with his sister’s name on it? It was very thoughtful.”

  “Did you like your gift?” she said, feeling like she was pulling teeth.

  He seemed a little flustered. “Um… the robe wasn’t my size.”

  She nodded. “That’s because it was for your guest bathroom.”

  “Pardon?”

  “Tan stole my clothes to wash while I was in the shower at your place. I had to sneak around like a ninja in one of those little towels to get them back.”

  Frank, the guard facing them, struggled not to react.

  Benny got defensive. “He’s just a very neat person, not my houseboy.”

  She sighed and looked at the ceiling of the van. “You don’t get many visitors, do you?”

  He seemed puzzled by the question. “No, my home is private. I like to keep it that way.”

  Frank couldn't contain himself anymore and blurted, “Mr. Hollis, she wants to know if you’re seeing anyone, sir.”

  Everyone else in the vehicle could see the light bulb turn on for Benny. “No. I work two jobs, leaving no time for a social life. The Project never goes away; it just lurks in corners, waiting for a chance to overflow. Working with medical professionals can be a real eye-opener. Did you know that 50 percent of single women my age have incurable herpes? Half the men carry HPV, which can lead to cancer of the uterus.”

  She laughed. “No wonder you never get any with that attitude.”

  Frank turned his head to cough, covering his mouth. Even the driver of the van bit his lower lip. Benny said, “With my money and fame, I don’t know who to trust. Worse, if I do like someone, I don’t want to accidentally manipulate her against her will.”

  She appreciated the flash of honesty and didn’t tease him further. “Speaking of medical professionals, what did they find when the lab analyzed the poison pill I brought back?”

  He squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger in an attempt at acupressure. “The Fossils have a pharmaceutical company with a lot of experimental drugs. One of them is an anti-drinking medication. You’ve heard of them?”

  “Yes. They cause nausea and vomiting when you cheat,” she said.

  “This one had some flaws. Five people in the group had heart attacks, and they pulled it from the market. The physician that ran the study can’t work in the state of Nebraska any more. Your pill contained ten times the recommended dosage.”

  “Wow. Just say no. Wouldn’t that have been too suspicio
us?”

  “Not really. The Nebraska doctor was your physician of record.”

  She pointed to the bandage on her arm. “Dr. Poldark, from Ward Seven?”

  He nodded. “Don’t worry; he’s perfectly competent. Dirt Bag just needed someone with a history who would be willing to commit people with less-than-complete paperwork.”

  “I’m never going back there again. He could be the one leaking information to the enemy.”

  “Unlikely, but I’ll check into it,” he said, poking his phone screen.

  She wanted to smack the device out of his hand. “What are you doing on that thing that can’t wait twenty minutes?”

  He shut off the phone, recognizing the tone from his parents’ many fights. “Dirt Bag thinks that because he doesn’t sleep much, the rest of us shouldn’t need to either. He’s scheduled two major missions next week and has me doing both the same night. Fortunately, Dallas and Arkansas are close.”

  In a gentler tone she said, “I know about the meeting with Whirlwind. Couldn’t I take that one? I’m normally good at convincing men.”

  Benny shook his head. “That guy is a paranoid sociopath with the strength of an ox. He’d snap you like a twig. No. We couldn’t risk you.”

  “What about the other operation?”

  “The Daughters of the American Revolution Annual Cotillion. I’m still looking for a dance partner.”

  Examining her nails, she said, “Oh, pity you don't know any professional dancers who are willing to pretend to go on a date with you.”

  Benny opened his mouth a couple times to answer but stopped himself. Eventually, he decided on, “We can’t go out into the field together. It risks too many assets. We can’t even fly on the same plane; it violates Project rules. If Crusader found out about this excursion, he’d have a fit.”

  “Maybe I could go instead of you. What’s the mission?”

  He considered this. “There’s a problem with Claudette. It’s sensitive.” She stared at him, saying nothing until he cracked. “All right! You know we got in a fight with the Fossils over ownership of a Brazilian aerospace company with US government contracts. I think initially they wanted the satellites for mineral mapping. Then it got personal. That’s when our former head of security, Maverick, seduced DB’s ex-wife. He works for the Fossils now.”

  “Seduced?” she said, using the one-word-continue technique.

  Benny squirmed in his seat and whispered, “He used his body control to overcome her.”

  “How?” she whispered back.

  When Benny avoided the question, Frank said, “Inhuman stamina, ma’am. That combined with the Tantric Yoga techniques Maverick mastered can lead to sexual slavery in the wrong hands. All the guards know about it; it’s the main reason we volunteer.”

  Jez raised an eyebrow. “TMI. Why do the bedroom habits of his ex matter?”

  Benny glared at the guard to keep him silent. “She owns 10 percent of the stock in DB’s media company.”

  “No prenup?”

  “The parent company was created to merge several others after the marriage: software, internet services, film. 20 percent of the worth was the film production company Claudette built. She was a successful business woman. DB ended up getting half of that. She felt robbed and quite bitter. She was probably pretty easy to sway.

  “In the proxy battle, DB claimed that having more controls over the satellites would put his entertainment channels ahead of the competition. The board argued that the aerospace company paid more to the bank than it did to investors because of severe underbidding.”

  Jez said, “But they have a huge market share which will translate into dominance in another six years. The US can’t afford NASA’s fee schedules any more. It’s inevitable: Brazil and China.”

  Benny held up his hands. “You’re preaching to the choir. She used her influence to block Dirt Bag with the board. So DB countered by using his real-estate company’s Italian auto firm. They made engines in World War II and still produce a handful of custom airplane engines each year, so they were technically licensed as an international aerospace company already. It was no problem for them to acquire another company in the same line of business. He financed it out of his own pocket and got EU approval because paying off that debt saved a major German bank from insolvency.”

  She nodded. “His motto is, ‘Never ask for what you can’t take.’ So this martial artist does the nasty with his attention-starved ex. Why do you get involved? DB doesn’t want you sniffing around her either. Why not go to Texas himself?”

  “It was in the divorce agreement. She gets Texas year-round and all the film-festival cities for the week of the festival. He gets the rest of the world.”

  She chuckled. “Why do I feel like the kids in a divorce? Who gets Turkey for Thanksgiving? Seriously, what does he expect you to do?”

  “Meet with her and ask if she needs rescuing from Maverick. I knew her before the Project; she'll talk to me.”

  “Let me take that mission. I can blend in. I think I can even get an invitation through a former co-worker. This whole thing is kind of sweet. Dirt Bag does have a heart.”

  Benny said, “Sure, but he keeps it in a cooler in his desk. He only knows this because he pays ‘fans’ to tweet about her every move.”

  As their van slowed in front of a rest-home community, she said, “Some people show affection in strange ways.”

  “Speaking of which, we’re at my dad’s place. He’s having his weekly poker game with all the other former studio big wigs. Stay in the van.”

  “Ashamed of me?” she demanded. “This is still my mission.”

  “No, I’m ashamed of him. Grrr… Come on, just ignore the old lecher. I’ll try to make it quick.”

  They walked through an elaborately landscaped path to a small, stucco villa. Eighty-year-old men were throwing chips onto a round, green table inside. When Jez walked in, all chatter stopped. She felt like a wildebeest at the lion convention.

  Benny opened with, “Bernie.”

  The ancient director countered with the equally effusive, “Son.” To Jez, he waved his scotch and croaked, “Miss, could I interest you in a little drink?”

  Benny tried to correct him. “She’s in the program…”

  Jez interrupted, “Do you have orange juice, sloe gin and Southern Comfort?”

  “I only stock Glenlivet,” the old director growled, fishing for a cigar in his pocket. Then he described sloe gin as an African-American drink, using a colorful word only permitted in rap songs.

  “Dad!”

  She sat on the arm of his large, padded chair and sighed, “Oh well, you can’t have a Sloe Comfortable Screw without them.”

  All the players roared with approval. Benny buried his face. After winning the hand, the elder Hollis said, “You, I like. You’re cute and lucky. Why are you wasting time with this boy?”

  She shrugged, “I keep swooning, and he keeps driving me home. Eventually, he’ll get the clue. He came here as a favor to me.”

  With trembling hands, the director struggled to pick up all the cards on the table. She leaned over and scooped them up for him. After she performed a few fancy shuffles, he asked, “So what do you do for a living, doll?”

  “I used to get tied up and handcuffed. Now I’m studying to be a rocket scientist.”

  A man with a horrible, brown toupee and a nasal accent said, “Do I know you? Vegas?” Oddly, the show-business people groaned, considering this comment in poorer taste than the racist slur. He squinted at the butterfly necklace. “You worked with a magician: great illusions and this girl could twist like a pretzel.”

  She smiled and dealt a face-up ace to each man. “Thank you. It’s always nice to meet a fan.”

  The men clapped.

  Bernie Hollis chuckled like a pirate. “So what can I do for the charming lady?”

  She phrased it carefully. “Well, I’m a recruiter for Fortune’s film company, and we have a consultant on the Middle East that we need
this week. The consultant said he’d do it if he got to have lunch with a few famous people who spoke French while he was here. The only ones I’ve met are Canadian, and evidently they don’t count. Benny said if I let you embarrass him enough, you might say a word to some director so he’d come too.”

  “Stay there, be my luck, and you’ve got a deal, toots.” Bernie Hollis grinned, putting an arm around her waist. “You want stories, I’ve got stories.”

  Benny was chanting, “Not the hospital.”

  Hollis started with a loud, “The day this boy was born was the proudest moment of my life. I got there after my shoot, and they couldn’t do the circumcision. He was too big to fit in the apparatus!”

  They ended up missing the tour. Everyone but Benny had a good time anyway.

  Chapter 17 – Think Tank

  Jezebel met with her new experts every spare moment. Tom volunteered for the Ethical Geometry page first, but Benny vetoed it for the time being so that he could better represent the viewpoint of a dishonest politician.

  The physician, Henry Weiss, agreed. “The first draft of our proposal should be natural, with Ms. Johnson as mediator.”

  Swami Rama, the yoga instructor and spiritual leader, would have no code name until his clearance came through. He was the only one that they hadn’t told about the pages. After chatting about philosophy with Jezebel, he hadn’t needed much inducement to join their theoretical discussion. The event appeared on his schedule and paycheck as an advanced relaxation seminar for older executives. Entering the room and conversation late, with some of Benny’s tea, the swami asked, “First draft of what?”

  Jez trotted out her cover story, “A uniform moral code of conduct for human beings in space colonies.”

  “We must begin with a Bill of Rights,” Tom said.

  Dr. Weiss said, “Shouldn’t we be more concerned with the stricter codes for leaders, teachers, and guardians who have… more responsibility and power?”

  The swami knew something else was afoot, but played along. They spent the first several days winnowing the UN declaration of human rights to get a baseline. Benny left after the first hour, but the others only warmed to the debate. Jez had more comfortable furniture brought in for the sessions, including beanbag chairs for the swami.