My Playboy Crush

by Katerina Cole

  Eventually, I picked her up and carried her helpless form to the shower, where I let hot water wash over us until I could set Jillian down on wobbling legs. She leaned on me in the shower, sighing into my chest. I was like a rock-solid wall for her to lean on, and I beamed down at her as she rested there.

  I turned her around and helped wash her off, running my hands between her lower lips and washing away my seed and her juices in the hot water. She moaned and leaned back into me, resting the back of her head against my chest and looked up at me backwards, smiling softly.

  “Hi,” she said finally.

  “Hi,” I answered.

  I couldn’t resist myself, though, and I slipped a finger into her warm, slick pussy and watched her face wince in delight before I took it out and gently massaged her lips, savoring their warmth as I guided her down from everything I’d just put her through.

  My whole body was satisfied, too, and it was all because of Jillian.

  Most of the shower passed in silence. We didn’t need to say anything. We just needed the peace of each other’s presence in the wake of that mind-blowing sex and the dull rhythm of the shower to soothe us. By the time we stepped out of the shower, we could have fallen asleep.

  “Can we just lay on the bed for a while?” she asked as she walked into the bedroom, looking over her shoulder and catching me checking out her naked, wet backside. I smiled at her and tossed her a towel.

  “Let’s get some coffee upstairs,” I said. “That’s tempting, but 3:00 p.m. probably isn’t the best time to take a nap.”

  “Party-pooper,” she said, winking at me as she toweled off. We got dressed and headed upstairs within about ten minutes.

  Along the way, we passed the dining room, where one of the staff members was quietly cleaning up the mess I’d made. Jillian and I exchanged a glance, and I winked at her. I took out another fifty-dollar bill and set it on the dining room bar, knocking on the wood to get the man’s attention to it before pointing, nodding, and watching him smile appreciatively before we headed upstairs.

  I made us each a cup of that Jamaican coffee I loved so much once we were upstairs in that same lounge where I’d bent her over that coffee table the first time. Jillian sat at the bar while I made the coffee, resting her head in her arms, and soon, the smell of coffee in the room was perking us up.

  “It probably goes without saying by now, but it’s so good to see you,” she said softly when I set down the mugs of coffee for us, sitting at the barstool next to her and rubbing her shoulders.

  “You’ve got a knack for surprises.”

  “That’s something I’d never thought I’d hear from you,” she said, taking the coffee and smiling warmly at the aroma. “Oh my God, what is this? It smells incredible.”

  “Blue Mountain,” I said simply. “Some of the best there is.” I watched her carefully sip the hot drink, and I felt my heart swell at the sight of her enjoying something I loved so much. It was the little things that made me appreciate her as much as the big things.

  “I couldn’t stay away,” she said suddenly, looking up at me. “That’s why I’m here, I mean. I just... you were in my head every day, Bruin. I know I sound like a dumb teenager again saying that.”

  “It’s not stupid, Jill,” I took her chin, bringing her gaze back up to me after she tried to look away shyly. “I’ve felt the same thing. Every morning I wake up without you is just gray.”

  Her face lit up, and it was more beautiful than a sunrise in the Keys. But the smile on my face couldn’t last longer than a few seconds.

  “Seeing you here made me happier than I’ve been all week.”

  “What?” she asked, tensing up a little. “Did something happen?”

  I frowned. “I wanted to tell you in Santa Barbara, but I didn’t want to spoil the little time we had together. Now that we’ve had this, I don’t want to spoil today, either, but you need to know. I had a run-in with your brother.”

  Her face fell and started to go pale, and I could tell she was foreseeing what was going to come next. “You’re kidding me.”

  “It did not go ideally. He stormed down to the yacht to raise hell. Squared off with me at the gangway and made it clear he doesn’t want the two of us together. I don’t know what he plans on doing to back that up, but I’m worried that if we keep seeing each other, it’s going to hurt what you two have.”

  Tears welled up in Jill’s eyes, and her jaw fell open slowly. “He-he can’t be serious. Are you sure?”

  “He was serious, Jill,” I said, taking her hands in mine. “He hinted at it when I was first trying to get you on the boat. Your brother sees me differently than you do. He’s known me since I started college, and well,” I glanced at my coffee, then back to Jill. “Sometimes he still sees the freshman fuckup sleeping off a hangover through his exams. He thinks Emma is living proof that I’m not responsible.”

  “What?” Tears spilled down her cheeks, but there was anger in her eyes. “Emma? For God’s sake.! Bruin, Emma is proof of the good man you’ve become.” She reached forward, stroking my cheek with her hand. “He probably hasn’t even met Emma and seen the two of you together. If I had any doubts about what kind of man you are, seeing what an incredible dad you are made them evaporate.”

  The word struck me like right in the heart, and for a moment, I thought I felt a tear in my own eye. I’d never really thought about how I looked to other people with Emma. It had always been just the two of us doing our thing. More tears flowed from her face, and I could tell that she saw my emotions written in my eyes.

  “I love you, Jillian.” The words spilled from my mouth simply, easily, and immediately, Jillian threw her arms around my neck and hugged me.

  “I love you too, Bruin,” she gasped, sniffing before we kissed a long, sweet kiss, then let our foreheads rest against each other.

  “I don’t want to lose you,” I said, my voice deep and thick. “But I know what your relationship with your brother means to you. And he means your career, too.”

  “He’s the only family I have.” She paused. “After Mom and Dad died, we’ve always had each other’s backs. Us against the world. I-I don’t want to hurt him, I feel like it would betray everything we’ve built together.”

  “But you’re your own woman,” I said, slowly bringing us to an arm’s length apart, my hands still on her arms, squeezing her reassuringly. “Jill, you’ve grown in ways that even Jeff can’t see. You’re a capable businesswoman, and you’re able to make your own decisions, your own life. Emma and I can give you all the family you could want,” I said, looking at her seriously, a kind smile on my face as her eyes went wide. “She already loves you. I want to give you a place with me in Santa Barbara and a place in my life, our lives. Everything you could want.”

  I paused, taking a breath. “But like I said, you’re your own woman. I know how much Jeff means to you. I want you more than anything in the world, baby, and I’d move mountains for you with my bare hands.” That made her smile and half-sob, half-laugh. “But I need to know you want it too.”

  “I do, Bruin,” she said immediately, with no hesitation, and it made me feel like I was on top of the world. “I want it more than anything else in the world.” I took her face in my hands and kissed her, salty tears on my lips, and she wrapped her hands around my sides before I broke the kiss.

  “Then let’s make it happen.”

  “I’m going to talk to Jeff,” she declared, wiping a tear from under her eye. “He’s still in town. I think he was trying to figure out what to do about the yacht sale. He’s not totally iced over yet, and if there’s anyone who can get him to come around, it’s me.”

  I gave her that confident, boyish smile that she knew so well. “I’ve got your back, Jill. Whatever you need to say to him, I know you can do it.”

  She fell into me again, and we kissed fiercely before I whispered into her ear, “And when you’re done, I going to have your back again.”

  Twenty-Eight

 
Jillian

  I paced back and forth in my hotel room so much I was starting to worry I might wear a line into the carpet. It was eleven o’clock at night. How the hell was I going to convince Jeff not to freak the fuck out when he found out about Bruin and me?

  At first, for a brief moment, I had toyed with the idea of just waiting until Bruin and I were more serious, more committed to each other. After all, what was the point of bringing it up and scaring the hell out of my big brother if there was still a chance my relationship with Bruin could just be a passing fling? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this wasn’t a fling. It never had been.

  Even from the start, when we were just two horny people fucking each other on that yacht out on the ocean away from prying eyes, it wasn’t just a fling. I should have seen it coming from miles away. Bruin had been the literal man of my dreams since I was an infatuated, idiot teenager. And it was never just an animalistic, sex-fueled thing. No. Even when I was fantasizing about him all those years in between, the fantasies were more than sexual. I imagined the two of us going on dates. Traveling the world together. I imagined us having long discussions about politics, philosophy. Books. And after seeing the state of that gorgeous library onboard Mirabella, I had a pretty strong inkling that Bruin was more of an avid reader than he let on.

  I was obsessed with him. Every thought in my head and every urge of my body longed for him, returned to him over and over again like a favorite, safe place to rest. He was my comfort, my home. And that was a lot coming from a woman who traveled so constantly that home was more of an abstract idea than a concrete location.

  “Ugh,” I groaned, stopping and placing a hand over my stomach.

  I felt like shit. I wasn’t sure what was going on with my gut, but I had been extremely nauseous all day. I assumed it probably had something to do with the constant airplane travel I had been through lately. I was a seasoned traveler. I had so many frequent flier miles I hardly knew what to do with them all. Airports no longer made me anxious like they did when I was younger. I could zone out of any annoying airplane environment. Crying baby, drunken seatmate, extreme turbulence. None of it bothered me much anymore. But still, it had to be a little unsettling for my body to change altitudes so often and rapidly.

  “Okay. How do I tell Jeff I’m fucking his old college roommate?” I asked myself aloud, sitting down on the edge of my bed. My stomach churned and I felt a wave of intense dizziness. I had to close my eyes and cradle my face in my hands, waiting for the feeling to pass.

  “This is not a good time for me to suddenly get sick,” I muttered. Just then, my stomach lurched again and I jumped to my feet, bolting to the bathroom. I collapsed to the floor and threw up, barely able to scrape my hair back out of my face in time. I coughed, feeling totally awful. “What the living hell is this? Did I eat something bad? Oh God, is this food poisoning?”

  I flushed and stood up to brush my teeth and wash my face with cold water. I had hardly been eating much lately. What could have possibly made me sick?

  Probably from flying, sitting in a cabin of compressed, stale air surrounded by a bunch of potentially gross strangers who could very well be carrying viruses and contaminations. On the flight to Florida, I had flown business class, but there was still a man sitting near me who kept coughing and sneezing. It was pretty nasty.

  “Oh, I bet that gross guy got me sick,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I hope I didn’t get Bruin sick.” God knew we had exchanged enough bodily fluids during our rabid fuck-fest on the yacht. If I was sick with something, surely Bruin would be sick, too.

  Wait.

  I sat down again, my legs suddenly feeling weak.

  We had been awfully close. Really close. Close enough that I had him inside me for a big portion of the time we were together. And not just this most recent rendezvous either. Over the past few weeks we had been very intimate with each other. And I had been so busy, so overwhelmed with my usual hectic schedule on top of all the time spent with Bruin that I was losing track of the days.

  I picked up my phone with a shaking hand and opened my calendar app. I used an application that helped me track my menstrual cycle. It reminded me when to expect the cramps and emotional turmoil to begin. I had been blessed, or maybe cursed, with an extremely punctual, regular cycle. Ever since I was thirteen years old, it had come every month like clockwork. And this time well, it did seem like it had been an awfully long time since I last dealt with it.

  “Oh God,” I mumbled.

  Sure enough, there was a day marked in red on my calendar. A day five days ago. My period was five days late. That had never, ever happened.

  “No. It can’t be. There’s no fucking way,” I breathed, starting to tremble. I stood up and grabbed my purse, hurrying out the door to go pick up a pregnancy test from the drug store across the street. I bought it and nearly ran back to the hotel, chugging a bottle of water on the way.

  Four minutes later, I had my answer.

  In the form of a little pink cross on a baby-blue background. I nearly burst into tears at the sight of it, I was so overwhelmed. What the hell? What was I supposed to do now? I sat down on the floor of my hotel room, staring at the pink cross. This could not be happening. Not with my lifestyle. I flew all over the world. I drank wine with wealthy people. I was a jetsetter, an extremely busy workaholic who hardly had time to take care of herself, much less anyone else. And I wasn’t even technically with the father of the child.

  I got a flash of Bruin with his daughter. The way he smiled, the corners of his blue eyes crinkling just a little bit as he looked at her with such adoration on his face. The way he scooped her up and kissed her all over her little pudgy face, making her scream with laughter and joy. The way he treated her with such unending patience. He was softer around her. It was blaringly apparent to everyone who saw them together that she was the center of his world. She was the most important thing to him. And after him well, I had a feeling it was me.

  I looked down at my stomach. It still looked pretty flat to me. It was hard to imagine that there could be something growing inside of me there. It seemed impossible, really. And yet, I just knew it was true. It was real. My heart surged with affection. Yep. I was pregnant. With the child of the man I had loved since I was a teenage girl, infatuated at the dinner table over Thanksgiving. I had loved Bruin for so long, and now we were going to be tied together forever. And I know that no matter how frightening it seemed, it was for the best. It would be okay.

  “More than okay,” I mumbled, smiling through the thin sheen of tears in my eyes. “It would be magical.”

  I stood up and grabbed my purse. It was nearly midnight now, but I knew what had to be done. I needed to finally face my fears and confront Jeff about my relationship with Bruin. If there had ever been a perfect time to abandon all worry and jump feet-first into this, it was now. Because it was no longer just Bruin and me. It was three of us. Four counting Emma.

  I rushed out the door and downstairs, hailing a cab. The driver took me across town to the luxury hotel where my brother was staying. It was his favorite, the one he always chose. I remembered his room number and told the receptionist I needed to see the occupant urgently. She called his room and let him know I was coming, and I tore away up the stairs, ignoring the elevator and the pounding of my heart. I burst into the room, and I must have looked totally crazy, because Jeff jumped back from me.

  “Jilly? What’s the matter? What happened? You look like a wreck.”

  “Jeff, I need to talk to you.” I burst out, breathless from my run upstairs.

  “Okay, okay. Calm down. What is it?” he asked, walking up and putting his hands on my shoulders. I blinked up at him and took a deep breath.

  “I’m going to get right to the point.” I took a heavy breath “I’ve been seeing Bruin behind your back. I’m sorry.”

  “Bruin? My college friend?” he clarified, his face going pale.

  “Yes. That’s the one. He and I—we’ve been t
ogether. At first it was nothing serious. But then it became serious. Fast. Jeff, I know you’re going to be pissed off about this, but you have to understand that I love him,” I rambled.

  Jeff stepped away, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you did this to me,” he groaned, rubbing his temples. “Haven’t I always done everything in my power to protect you? Defend you? Keep you safe?”

  “Yes. And believe me, I appreciate it. Everything you’ve done me for our entire lives, but this has nothing to do with that.”

  “Clearly you don’t,” he interrupted, throwing his hands in the air. “That guy is a reckless womanizing asshole. He has a daughter from a failed relationship. The mother of that child? She was a one-night stand. He left her just like he leaves all of them. He sleeps around. He treats women like they’re disposable. Last I checked, you aren’t disposable, are you?”

  Tears burned in my eyes but I stood defiantly. “The mother of his child passed away, Jeff.”

  “What?” My brother gasped.

  “Yeah. That’s why he’s raising Emma alone. Besides, he’s not that guy anymore. His daughter, the one you just mentioned so cruelly, she is an angel. She’s adorable and smart and she’s just like him. And she likes me.”

  “You met his daughter?” he asked, confused.

  “Yes. I met her in California. He’s an amazing dad.”

  “Sure he is.”

  “And that’s a good thing,” I cut him off, taking another deep breath. “Because I’m pregnant, and Bruin is the father.”

  Jeff stared at me, his mouth falling open. “What?” he asked quietly.

  “So, you can call me a slut or an idiot or whatever you want, but the truth is, I’m happy. Bruin is the one for me, Jeff. I love him,” I announced.

  He looked as if he was mulling the news over in his mind. I worried what conclusion he would reach. Finally, he walked up to me and hugged me tightly.