A Doctor's Vow

by Lois Richer

  But love? Love was too risky. The thought of failing Jaclyn, of seeing her beautiful face reflect her disappointment in him was untenable. Better not to go there. Better to remain friends...though he yearned to share so much more with her.

  “Kent?” Jaclyn stood in the doorway, her confusion evident. “What happened?”

  “Hope happened.” He watched her smile flicker to life. “People have been stopping by all day to help. Two more days and, with a little push from heaven, the clinic should be ready to open. Early.”

  Without warning, she threw herself into his arms and hugged him so tightly he could barely breathe.

  “Hey, are those tears?” he asked, drawing back to study her face. He wanted to pull her close, kiss her and promise her the world. But Kent contented himself with brushing the moisture off her cheeks. “This isn’t the time for tears.”

  “No. You’re right.” She eased away and summoned a smile. “Can I see the rest?”

  “Sure.” He led the way, pointing out the changes.

  “This is amazing. I can’t thank you enough,” she said when they arrived in the small garden.

  “Don’t thank me. I’m just the guy with the list. The people of Hope did the rest.” He grinned, delighted with her happiness.

  “Let’s celebrate,” she said. “I’ll buy you dinner.”

  Watching those incredible eyes of hers sparkle made his heart thud ten times faster. He’d begun to imagine sharing a future with her, and it was dangerous territory. He had to escape before he got in any deeper. “I’ve got a couple of animals in quarantine. I need to get home.”

  “Oh. That’s too bad.” Did the light in her eyes dim just a bit? Good thing he was getting out of here now. Jaclyn LaForge made him want things he couldn’t have.

  “Hello, you two. I hoped I’d still find you here. This looks lovely.” Heddy took her time studying the work that had been done. “Just the place to enjoy the little dinner I brought.” She held out a picnic basket.

  “Heddy, I can’t stay.”

  She ignored Kent’s refusal and set out two plates, cutlery and a bunch of dishes that wafted enticing aromas when she lifted the lids.

  “Oh, it smells wonderful,” Jaclyn breathed. “Heddy, no matter how many cooking classes I take, I will never be able to make anything like this.” She glanced at Kent. “You have to eat. Why not eat here?”

  “Listen to the doctor,” Heddy ordered.

  “Okay, dinner,” he agreed, shutting down the warning voice in his head. “Then I have to get home.” Kent allowed Heddy to serve him a plate. “It’s very kind of you.”

  “We all want to help,” Heddy said. “This is my way. That’s the thing, isn’t it? Figuring out how you can give. Lots of people in Hope wanted to give to you, Jaclyn. They just didn’t know how.”

  “But—” Jaclyn showed her surprise.

  “You joined all those groups, excelled at everything you tried—well, except for the needlepoint.” She grinned. “Anyway, you’ve always pulled more than your share. Nobody believed you needed their help. It wasn’t until the announcement about the contest that they started asking questions and learned the clinic might not open. That’s when they found they could give to you.”

  Kent wondered if the blunt words hurt Jaclyn. She prided herself on giving and now Heddy was saying she needed to learn how to take.

  “Actually, your clinic has been the best thing for this town. We needed something big to draw us together,” Heddy explained. “Now, how about seconds?”

  Kent said little as he savored the rest of Heddy’s meal and the apple pie she’d brought for dessert. Jaclyn said even less, her eyes filled with wonder as she kept looking at her new clinic.

  “I heard about this apple pie from two of my workers today.” Kent blinked at the rush of rose that flooded Heddy’s round cheeks.

  “Oh, those two. They’re neighbors on either side. A year after Henry died they both started asking me out. I’m not interested in romance,” she sputtered.

  “Why not?” Jaclyn touched her hand. “Just because you loved your husband is no reason you can’t love again.”

  “I don’t think I could feel what I felt for Henry for another man,” Heddy murmured.

  “Oh, Heddy, of course you couldn’t.” Jaclyn leaned forward, her voice quietly comforting. “Henry was special and your bond with him was forged over a long time. But maybe you could find a different kind of love.”

  “Oh, you’ll make me cry now.” Heddy patted her shoulder. “Love is strange, isn’t it? It’s hard to define but you know when you feel it.”

  “I think love is like elastic. It stretches and grows to allow our hearts to experience many different varieties, if we let it.” Jaclyn turned her head and stared straight at Kent.

  Discomfited by her penetrating stare, Kent glanced at Heddy and found she was peering at him. He ignored them both and hunkered down, concentrating on his pie.

  “Kent, have you shown Jaclyn the glade yet?”

  His head jerked up. He couldn’t spend the evening with Jaclyn. She was already in his thoughts too much.

  “Um, no.” He gulped. “I haven’t.”

  “Well, you’re always talking about it. Wouldn’t this be the perfect evening to show her?” Heddy took their plates. “Get going. Our spring evenings are longer now, but they don’t last forever.”

  “Uh—” He could hardly decline now.

  “Kent has some injured animals he has to check.” Jaclyn rose and carefully replaced the dishes in the basket. “And I have some medical journals to study.”

  “You can look at them later,” Heddy insisted as she nudged Jaclyn forward. “You deserve some time off, Jaclyn. The clinic will still be here tomorrow. Soon it’ll be open and you’ll be too busy.”

  “I’m not sure—” Though Jaclyn protested, Kent saw longing in her brown eyes and in that instant, his resolve evaporated.

  “Why not?” he invited quietly. “The glade is really spectacular right now.”

  She blinked as if she didn’t think she’d heard right. “You’re sure?”

  “I’m positive. Maybe you can bring Arvid back with you. I think his place here is about ready.” He smiled at her while his heart thudded in anticipation.

  Maybe he was taking a risk by inviting her out. For so long he’d stayed aloof from the possibility of any relationship. He hadn’t wanted to be reminded of what he’d lost. But Jaclyn’s arrival had shown him how desperately lonely he was—lonely for someone to share things with, lonely for conversation that wasn’t just hello and goodbye.

  But Kent wanted more than just company with Jaclyn. He wanted to know everything about her, to discover all the little details and file them away in his heart.

  “Well, if you’re sure I won’t be imposing, I’d love to go,” she said. “Your glade sounds like the perfect place to restore my sanity.”

  “Can you be at the ranch in half an hour?” he asked.

  “Yes. For once I’m not on call.” Jaclyn’s gorgeous smile made his heart race.

  Kent turned to Heddy and hugged her.

  “You’re a manipulator, Heddy Grange,” he whispered in her ear. “And I shouldn’t let you do it. But because you’re such a fantastic cook, I’ll fall in with your plans. Thank you for everything,” he added meaningfully, glancing around. “I know you were behind it.”

  “No, Kent. Thank you. God has special blessings reserved for those who put themselves out there for others. Hope’s going to be fine,” she said quietly. “Are you?”

  Before he could answer she’d bustled away, toting her empty basket.

  “I’d better go. See you in a bit?” he said

  Jaclyn smiled at him and headed out to her car.

  Maintaining nothing but friendship between them wasn’t g
oing to be easy. Now that he knew he was in love with her, he’d weakened enough to imagine a future that included sharing the ranch, marriage, maybe even a family.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he scolded himself. “She’s a doctor, a busy doctor. Why would she want to live on a ranch miles outside of town?”

  Maybe if he showed her the beauty of the ranch—

  “Stop it.” Kent recognized his daydreams for what they were—hope. Hope that he could finally be done with the guilt, the shame, the failure, and find peace.

  Heddy said God had special blessings reserved for him, but given his record of failure, Kent was pretty sure those blessings weren’t going to involve Jaclyn LaForge.

  “What if I fail again?” he said as he pulled into his yard. “I’d mess up her future here.”

  So what do I do, God?

  But if God had some wisdom about Kent’s future, He wasn’t sharing it.

  Chapter Twelve

  “I can’t talk right now, Shay. I’m on my way out to Kent McCloy’s ranch for a horse ride.” Jaclyn fumbled the phone and so only caught the tail end of her friend’s next words.

  “...talked to Brianna.” Shay sounded hesitant. “Is something going on with you and Kent?”

  “Nothing’s going on. We’re just friends.” She found her sweater hanging on a kitchen chair.

  “Oh.” Shay sounded totally different from the strong, powerful image of her gracing magazine covers around the world. “Brianna said you have feelings for Kent?”

  “I do.” With a huff of resignation, Jaclyn sat down. “I love him. He makes me feel that I don’t have to prove anything, that I’m all right.”

  “Aren’t you all right?” Shay’s timid voice strengthened. “Brianna is right, Jaclyn. It’s not your job to fix the whole world. I never thought God expected you to make amends for Jessica’s death or your parents’ marital problems.” She paused then asked very quietly, “Do you?”

  “No,” Jaclyn admitted. “I’m realizing that to honor Jessica, I have to stop trying to live her life. But something happened that has proven to me that I’m on the right track here.” She told her friend how she’d given up on getting the clinic finished before her deadline, and about how the town showed up en masse to make opening possible. “It’s amazing how much they’ve done and all because of a little contest.”

  “So have you chosen a new name?”

  “Not yet.” Jaclyn eyed the shopping bag full of suggestions that sat by the front door. “I guess I could choose one this evening, with Kent. After all, the contest was his idea.”

  “When is the grand opening? Will your parents come?” Shay asked.

  “No. They feel I made a mistake coming here and that given enough time, I’ll change my mind.” She squeezed her eyes closed to stop the tears. “I’m worried about divorce, Shay. They haven’t said anything but I can tell there’s something off.”

  “Jaclyn, I think fixing their marriage is up to them. You can’t do it for them,” Shay murmured.

  “I know. I’m learning that God has specific things for me to do and that I have to let go of some things if I’m going accomplish His will. I still believe He wants me here in Hope, ministering to children.”

  “I think the clinic’s completion by the townsfolk is proof of that,” Shay agreed.

  “But I don’t know what to do about Kent,” she murmured. “I don’t want to end up in a relationship like my parents and Kent is so stuck on the past and all the things he did wrong.”

  “I’m not an authority.” Shay said. “But perhaps if you told him how you feel, he’d realize that there can be a fulfilling future for him.”

  “Tell him I love him? Oh, I don’t know, Shay.” Her insides quivered at the thought.

  “Isn’t it better to see how he feels about it up front. Be honest.” Shay paused. “If it was me, I guess I’d tell him, then accept his answer. At least then there won’t be any confusion about it.”

  “I’ll think about it.” Jaclyn checked her watch. “Much as I love talking to you, I have to go. Call me tomorrow?”

  “Okay. And Jaclyn? I hope Kent realizes what you’re offering him. You deserve the best.” A little catch in her voice stopped Shay.

  “So do you, Shay. So do you. Don’t forget, when it’s finished, the clinic will be waiting for you. I need you here.”

  Shay hesitated before she finally said, “I’ll try to come as soon as I can. I promise. Bye.”

  Jaclyn hung up, grabbed the bag of contest entries and raced out the door. She made it to the ranch in just over forty-five minutes.

  “Sorry,” she apologized when she found Kent with the horses, waiting at the corral. “Shay called just as I was leaving.”

  “Is she coming to join the clinic?” He helped her mount.

  “Not right away.” A pang of guilt assailed her—all they’d talked about were her problems. “Is this glade of yours far, Kent?”

  “Fifteen minutes.” He frowned at the bag she’d looped over the saddle horn. “What’s in there?”

  “The contest entries. I thought maybe we could choose a name tonight.”

  “Have you read them over yet?” he asked, grinning at her.

  “No. I thought we could do that together.” She smiled back as she thought about what Shay had suggested. Could she do it? Could she just tell Kent how she felt and leave the rest to God?

  They followed a switchback trail halfway up a hill then turned off into a grove of cottonwoods. The bright green of the freshly budded leaves whispered a welcome as they passed under. Jaclyn had to concentrate on negotiating the treacherous stony path and didn’t understand why Kent had stopped until she looked up.

  “It’s an oasis,” she gasped. “Kent, it is so beautiful here. I can understand why you want to stay on the ranch. This place is too precious to give up.” She dismounted and wandered under a weeping birch tree to the edge of pretty little brook that bubbled through the glade. She sat on a rock, removed her boots and let her toes dangle in the cool water. “Fantastic.”

  Jaclyn turned and caught him staring at her. As soon as their eyes met, he looked away. Maybe he did feel something.

  “I built a bench,” he said when a few moments had passed. She followed his gaze to a crudely made bench—a combination of old logs hammered together into a seat and back. He sat down on it. “I come here a lot. To think.”

  “It’s the perfect place,” she agreed, keeping her voice quiet—the clearing seemed to call for reverence. “I suppose we should go over the contest entries before it gets too dark to see.” She padded over the lush growth barefoot, carrying her boots. “Would you mind getting the sack from my saddle?”

  He’d fastened the horses’ reins under a shady cottonwood tree. “All of these?” he asked, as he lifted the sac.

  She nodded.

  “Wow. I never imagined so many people would enter.”

  “Me, neither. What it means is that we have a lot to go through.” She lifted out a stack of entries. “Why don’t we each take half, choose our favorites, switch piles and then compare? I brought a couple of pencils to mark which we like best.” She glanced up and found his eyes fixed on her face but she couldn’t read them. “Okay?” she asked when he didn’t answer.

  “Sure.” He accepted half and began reading. Jaclyn couldn’t help noticing he marked a lot of the sheets.

  “We’re supposed to be eliminating,” she reminded with a grin.

  “I know. But some of these are so catchy. Clinic of Cures,” he read. “How can you not like that?”

  “Trust me, it’s not that difficult.” She laughed.

  They worked together in silence and then traded. Jaclyn waited with impatience for Kent to finish the last half dozen. When he finally raised his head and peered at her through the growing dusk,
there was a peculiar light in his eye.

  “You have a favorite?” he asked. She nodded. He smiled. “I think I know which one. It’s Whispering Hope Clinic, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” She gathered the rest of the papers and pushed them back into the bag. “We sang that song in youth group, remember? According to the entry, Septimus Winner wrote the lyrics to ‘Whispering Hope’ in 1868. But those words embody everything I want for Jessica’s clinic today.” She wondered if Kent was as moved as she. Jaclyn began to sing the words to the song. “‘Soft as the voice of an angel, breathing a lesson unheard. Hope with a gentle persuasion, whispers her comforting word.’”

  Kent’s voice joined her.

  “‘Wait till the darkness is over, wait till the tempest is done, hope for the sunshine tomorrow, after the shower is gone.’”

  She smiled at him as they raised their voices together for the chorus.

  “‘Whispering hope, oh, how welcome thy voice, making my heart in its sorrow rejoice.’”

  The notes died away. Silence filled the lovely glade broken only by the whisper of the cottonwood leaves.

  “Whispering Hope Clinic,” Jaclyn murmured. “It’s the perfect name. Heddy was bang on. She’s the winner.”

  “Yes.” Kent smiled, blue eyes aglow. He shook his head. “I don’t know what changed, but that woman is not the same one I’ve been battling with for the past few years.”

  “People do change, Kent. I’ve changed.” Jaclyn knew it was now or never—this was her chance to tell him what lay in her heart. She was going to do it. “I came to Hope determined to work my way to acceptance. I thought I had to fix things and people. I thought I had to sacrifice myself to deserve life.” She held his gaze. “A lot of people, including you, have helped me see how wrong I’ve been. I look at the clinic and the way the whole town has pitched in and I realize that sometimes people need to give and that the best thing I can do for them is to accept. Believe me,” she said with a grimace, “it’s humbling to realize that if I just get out of the way, God is fully able to heal. I’ve found it hard to learn that I am simply a tool He uses. I’m not the big deal I thought I was.”