“Did he personally tell you that?”
“The first time we hung out at his house.” I laughed lightly. “Josh said that he just doesn't have time for a relationship.”
“Well, maybe that has changed.”
“Doubtful.” I sighed, checking the time on my phone. “I have to start going and head to the hospital for a checkup.” I stood up and grabbed my bag. “Same time next week?”
“I'll be looking forward to it.”
I smiled and left. My parents didn't want me driving right now from the medications so I was forced to rely on other people to drive me everywhere. I hate having to depend on others since I felt like such an inconvenience.
Waiting in the parking lot sat Natalie in her car. When I walked up to the passenger's door I saw her applying some shiny lip gloss that made them sparkle. I opened the door and got into the car, an amused expression on my face.
“Do you have a hot date or something?”
“No, but there's this really cute nurse at the hospital who I’ve been flirting with a little bit.” Natalie smirked.
“Oh my god.” I laughed. “A month ago you would have never been the one who flirts first. Did aliens take control of you or something?”
“You've helped me with my self-confidence.” Natalie smiled. I smiled back as my best friend pulled out of the parking lot and drove in the direction towards the hospital.
Josh's POV
“Earth to Josh? Hello?” I heard Max and snapped out of the daydream I was having. For the last few weeks I've been catching myself staring into space, and every single time I did, I was thinking about Alison.
“Hmm?”
“I asked if you wanted bacon on your cheeseburger.” Max was on the other side of the kitchen cooking up some burgers for dinner. It was already almost nine o'clock that night, the two of us having a late meal.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“Thinking of Alison again?” Max teased.
“No...” I glanced away.
“You may be a professional actor but I can always tell when you're lying.” Max laughed. I stuck out my tongue and poured the two of us some soda.
The last two months have been so rough on Alison that I wish I could just trade places with her. I wanted to see Alison get better. She was small and fragile, and now she always looked like she was on the brink of death. She was still beautiful, but I would do anything to have her healthy again.
“What if she dies?” I whispered.
The smirk on Max's face was replaced by sorrow. All I could think about these days was Alison. I would even dream of her; some were happy, and some were so awful that I would cry out her name in the middle of the night. The nightmares were the ones where she would die.
“She won't.” Max brought over the burgers and put a plate in front of me. “Alison is the toughest chick on the planet. Don't you realize this by now? She's refusing to give up the fight.”
“That's why I love her so much.” I said the words before I could stop them, and when they were out in the open, Max's smirk returned.
“I knew it!”
“Oh shut up!” I nudged my younger brother. “Pass the ketchup.”
“You gonna marry her?” Max bantered.
“I'm about five seconds away from slapping you.” I grabbed the bottle of ketchup to put some on my burger.
“Are you gonna do the kissy-kissy?” Max puckered his lips and began to create kissing noises. Without warning I turned the top of the ketchup bottle towards him and squeezed, splattering ketchup all over his face. “HEY!”
“Then knock it off!” My mood darkened a bit from my earlier thoughts.
“What's your problem?” Max reached over and grabbed a clean dishrag to wipe his face.
“Alison probably doesn't even like me in that way, okay?”
Max shot me one of his looks. “How could you possibly know that?”
“She's been spending so much time with Scott lately.” I spat out the words as if they were poison. Jealousy was such an ugly emotion. I never thought that I would feel it. I hadn't prepared myself to fall for Alison. Sure, I had felt some sort of mysterious pull towards her when the two of us first met, but love? Not in a thousand years that I would've guessed I would fall in love with her. Every time she was with Scott it ate me up deep inside because I could tell that Alison had feelings for him.
“I'm sure they're just friends.” The cheerfulness in Max's tone made me feel a little better. “You should tell Alison how you feel.”
And just like that, the relief was gone.
“Absolutely not!”
“Why?” Max had to be the most irritating person in the universe.
“What if she rejects me?” I responded. “Like I said before, Max. Alison has been spending a lot of time with Scott.”
“But what if she actually likes you back? You’ll never know if you don't try!”
“Just please be quiet,” I rubbed both sides of my temples. “I'm not going to risk our friendship. If I tell her how I feel and she doesn't feel the same way then things could just end up being weird when we spend time together. I'm not risking it.”
“Fine.” Max sighed in defeat, looking for a new subject to talk about as we ate our dinner in silence. He then perked up. “I've been having such a great time with the band. I can't believe our show is next week!”
“How has Alison been holding up during practice?” I asked.
“She's being smart and isn't pushing herself too hard,” Max reassured me. “Alison is doing fine. When she starts to feel really tired we just send her inside to rest while the three of us continue to practice.”
Luckily they practiced right in Alison's large garage, so she didn’t have to travel too far to rest. I knew that Max loved the band but I was happy that the Battle of the Bands was coming up soon; the band would be over and Alison could get more rest.
“You should come to our next practice.”
“Alison doesn't want me there, remember?” I laughed. “She said that she'll get all nervous and mess up.”
“I wonder how she's going to handle the large crowd that comes to the event.”
“I'm sure she'll do great. You all will.” Max beamed with delight from my comment.
After dinner and washing up the dishes, I suggested that the two of us should go shoot some hoops at the basketball court just down the street from our house. By the time we came home, it was just after midnight. The streets were deserted and quiet, the silence peaceful and welcoming. There was a certain type of beauty about the darkness that a lot of people failed to understand; without darkness, there wouldn't be stars or a moon that lit the night sky.
“Look.” When we got in front of our house Max pointed to the one next door. Sleeping on a white hanging hammock on the front porch was Alison. She was wrapped in a blue and black checkered throw blanket that my mother knitted for her just a couple days ago.
Max went inside our own house after I told him I would bring Alison to her room. When I walked along the Millard's stoned path and up the steps I silently crept over to Alison. She looked so peaceful as she slept; I didn't want to disturb her but I also didn't want her sleeping outside. I carefully pulled the earbuds out from her ears and turned off the music player before shoving it in my pocket.
Praying that the front door was unlocked I reached over and turned the knob. To my relief, it twisted, bringing me to push open the door before focusing my attention back to Alison.
“Please don't wake up.” I whispered as I slowly slid my arms underneath Alison and lifted her. She stirred in my arms, her shadowed eyes slightly opening to look at me.
“Josh?” Alison's voice was weak, but to make myself feel better I just imagined it was only because she was tired.
“Shh,” I said in a soothing murmur. “It's just me. I'm going to bring you up to your bed, okay?”
“Okay.”
With the throw blanket still coverin
g her, I walked inside with Alison in my arms and closed the door with my foot. At the corner of my eye I saw Jeremy sleeping on the couch. I knew he was supposed to be keeping an eye on Alison since no one else was home, but I didn't blame him for falling asleep since it was after midnight. I walked over and nudged him with my knee. Jeremy woke up in a panic and instantly stood to his feet, his eyes wild.
“I'm awake!”
“Shh!”
Jeremy blinked a few times as he took in his surroundings.
“Crap. I didn't mean to fall asleep.”
“It's okay,” I responded. “I'll go put Ali up to bed.” Jeremy nodded, the tired young man locking the front door before disappearing into the kitchen to get a snack. Alison stirred in my arms again as she let out a small squeak, the sound reminding me of a tired kitten.
I reached the top of the dimly lit stairs and walked into her room. It was hard to see from the poor lighting, but I was afraid to turn on the light and risk waking Alison up more than she already was. For a few moments I just stood there and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. When I was confident I could walk over to Alison's bed without tripping over anything I journeyed further into the room and reached my destination without any trouble.
Alison had a fairly large bed; there was clearly enough room for the two of us. I gently placed her down on one end of the bed before walking to the other side and pulled back the covers. I walked back around to the young brunette, my arms cradling her and placing her lightweight body in the spot I had made for her.
As I pulled the covers over Alison all I could think about was how badly I wanted to stay by her side. I felt the need to protect her, but from what? What could I protect her from? The cancer? I couldn't protect her from that, and it made me so angry. When I first learned she was sick, I refused to believe it. Alison was stubborn and headstrong. There was no way someone like her could get cancer.
But here we were.
I began to turn and walk away. Tears burned my eyes but I refused to have a breakdown in front of her. She had been keeping it together for so long, and so would I.
A light grip stopped me from walking away, however. When I turned around I saw Alison looking up at me, her eyes glistening in the moonlight that beamed down on her from the skylight.
“Please don't go.” Alison whispered.
After a couple of moments, I nodded. “I'll always stay with you, Alison Millard.” I pulled back the blankets on the other side and crawled into bed with her after taking off my shoes.
At first, I was hesitant after pulling the blankets up to me. Was I supposed to put my arms around her? Did she want that kind of comfort? Or should I just keep my distance?
My questions were answered just moments later when Alison reached over and used my chest as a pillow. I held my breath as the nerves inside my body ignited like fireworks.
The two of us had fallen asleep in the same room before, but never in the same bed.
“Did you suddenly become a statue or something?” Alison teased. “Or a vampire? You aren't breathing.”
“Sorry.” I chuckled and let out the breath I was keeping in. All of a sudden she started shivering from chills; another side effect from her medications. My nervousness vanished instantly just then. I wrapped my arms securely around Alison and held her close. She was in discomfort, so I was going to do everything in my power to make her better.
I was uncertain how long it took before the chills subsided, but when Alison's body finally relaxed she was already asleep, my own body relaxing. My grip never faltered, and after closing my eyes for only a few minutes, I had drifted off to sleep with Alison safely in my grasp.
Chapter Seven
Alison's POV
Dear Diary,
So far I've torn out four or five pages from you because Carly won't keep her stupid music down in the next room. I can't think! How does she expect me to get any assignments done? I know it's just for my creative writing class but it's still a college class! It's hard! I might just go drive over to campus and finish my work in the library.
Never mind. Her new boyfriend just got here to pick her up for a date. At least now I'll get some peace and quiet to write. For our homework, we have to write a novella that can only have 30,000 words. It's been a bit difficult for me to write since I'm only on chapter two and already have 11,003 words typed up...this is going to be challenging.
Other than that, things have been pretty great here at my grandfather's house. Carly and I moved in with him and started college, but we still keep in touch with our parents and Jeremy who are back in Florida. Oh, I've also been getting hit on by my neighbor Josh. He's really nice and extremely hot but it could never work. Soon he'll just go back to work and make movies while I stay here. It sucks, but at least we’ll stay friends.
I put away the small diary back in its drawer and opened my laptop to continue typing the novella. I’ve been stressed out because the deadline is in just three days. How was I going to finish on time?
“Alison?”
I turned towards my balcony and saw Josh standing on the other side of the glass. He wore a sheepish smile, the young man knowing he was about to get yelled at for climbing up the high tree yet again.
“I'm going to kill him one of these days.” I growled before standing up from my computer chair. After unlocking the doors Josh opened one and stepped inside, my arms crossed over my chest as he still wore that smile.
“What? You aren't happy to see me?”
“I'm not happy from constantly worrying that one day I'll look over the balcony and see your dead body on the ground.”
I walked back over to my seat and sat down. Normally he’d have some sort of sarcastic remark to try and make me laugh, but as I sat at my laptop and began typing I could sense the heavy silence. I looked over to him, his gaze focusing down on the ground.
“You're never this shy or anything.” I stood up and walked over towards him. “What's wrong?”
“Well...” Josh scratched the back of his neck and avoided eye contact with me. Now he was really starting to scare me.
“Did you do something?” I asked. “Are you in some kind of trouble?”
“I'm about to be,” Josh mumbled. “I came here to tell you something.”
“What is it?” Now confusion clouded my mind. What did Josh have to tell me that would suddenly leave him closed up like a clam? Did he want to tell me that he didn't want to be friends anymore? Did Josh get tired of me? I couldn't handle those dreadful thoughts.
Josh sighed, his eyes now locked with mine. “I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm in love with you.”
Wow. I was NOT expecting that. I couldn't even form words to respond to his confession. Josh had feelings for me? How on earth did that happen?
“I...” Words still wouldn't form. I didn't know how to respond. “Are you sure you aren't talking about Carly?”
“No, I'm not talking about your sister.” Josh laughed. Some of his nervousness had lifted.
“I'm not good for you.” I don't know why I said it, but deep down I honestly felt I wasn't good enough for Josh.
“Shouldn't I be the judge of that?”
“I have trust issues, okay?” I turned away, sensing Josh's eyes locked on my back from behind. “It's just...I don't trust people easily, so when I actually do trust someone I pray that they don't do something to make me regret it.” I sighed before turning back to face Josh. “Once that trust is lost then it's pretty much impossible to get it back.”
“Alison,” Josh took a step towards me, but I took one back out of instinct. He could see the pain in my eyes from a past relationship. Josh saw the hurt. The betrayal. Most importantly, he saw how wounded I was, and I hated that. I despised how effortlessly Josh could see through the walls I worked so hard to put up around myself.
“Please, Josh. Don't do this.” I whispered, looking down towards my black socks. He ignored my request, the young man placing his ha
nd gently on my cheek.
“I wouldn't leave you,” Josh murmured. “I would never betray your trust.”
“That's what he told me, too. Look what happened?” I thought back to Wade, tears forming in my eyes. When one of the salty teardrops slid down my other cheek Josh reached over and wiped it away with the side of his hand, bringing me to look back up at him.
“I'm not him. I'm 'Josh Anderson', remember?” I couldn't help but chuckle from the inside joke Josh and I shared from when we first met. He truly did make me happy. Maybe perhaps things could finally work out for me.
Slowly, and tenderly, Josh leaned in and brushed his lips over mine. My heart raced from the very way his lips seemed to fit perfectly in mine. They were soft. Gentle. They were everything I imagined them to feel like. Josh's hand left my cheek and placed it down on the small of my back, and just like that, our tender kiss gradually turned into something more.
Blazes of passion burned through our veins when we pulled each other closer. I hated the space that separated us. For so long, all I could think about was kissing Josh; now I wanted more.
Josh seemed to somehow sense my desires as his hands ran up the front of my body, my own hands slipping underneath his shirt. Hard muscle greeted my every touch, my fingertips tracing the lines of his abs. Before I could talk myself out of it I pushed up his shirt and let it fall to the floor. Josh didn't protest at all, and soon enough he was taking off my own.
A lacy black bra with pink edging greeted him. I didn't want us to stop exploring each other. During the seconds that passed by, Josh would be mine; even if it was only momentarily. Right now I didn't care. I wanted him, and by the way he eased me down on the bed and pressed kisses onto my chest I knew he wanted me just as badly. Josh brought his mouth back to mine and kissed me again; this time rough and full of longing.
Our pants were still on but it felt as if tiny sparks of pleasure raced all throughout my body. My breath caught, small moans radiating from both of us.
Untimely Love Page 9
