Untimely Love

by A. R. Simmons

  Normally I would feel uncomfortable and self-conscious but this time I wasn't. The fact that Josh has seen me in just a bikini only yesterday and still confessed his love for me this morning sent a jolt of confidence.

  “Ali?” Josh walked into the restroom since he knew I was the only person in there. He wore a suit identical to mine, only his was blue and gray. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” I nodded and turned to him. “You look good in that.”

  “You look better.” Josh walked over and placed a hand on my hip, the other resting on my cheek. “How are you feeling?”

  “I'm feeling good.”

  “Are you tired at all?” Josh focused on my eyes for any signs of dark circles.

  “Nope. I'll let you know if I get tired.”

  “Promise?”

  I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips for a few lingering moments and nodded. “I promise.” Josh kissed me in the middle of my forehead before the two of us left the restroom hand in hand.

  As soon as the three of us eased our way in the water we were greeted once again by the small pod of dolphins. Lana was the first to swim over to me and nudged my hip. I took a deep breath and dived underneath the water so I could be submerged in the same environment as her. When I opened my eyes she was right in front of my face, bringing me to smile and wave at her. Lana made another chirp and swam a few feet away. I realized that she wanted me to follow when she stopped swimming and looked back at me. With a nod, I came up momentarily for air before sinking back underneath the water and followed her.

  Lana swam right by my side as we ventured further in the pool. When I reached over and held onto her dorsal fin with both hands Lana began to swim faster, her excitement getting the better of her as she swam. Lana guided me down to the very bottom of the pool which brought me to release her. Everything was so different down here, like I was truly free. I felt light as air, and if I closed my eyes, it was as though I was flying.

  When I opened my eyes again I saw Lana swimming circles around me, but now I needed to come up for air. With my legs together like a mermaid's tail, I kicked off from the bottom of the pool and shot straight up to the surface. My lungs were relieved when I was able to breathe again.

  “You were under for quite a while,” Josh said as he swam over to me with Kalani at his side. “I was beginning to worry.”

  “I'm fine.” I responded cheerfully and looked at Kaimana and Miliani. The two dolphins joined Lana and together the three of them disappeared underneath the water.

  “Do you two want to feed them fish?” Kalani asked.

  “Yeah.” Josh nodded.

  “I'll be back in around ten minutes with a few buckets,” Kalani swam to the edge of the pool and pulled herself out of the water. “Will you two be okay until I get back?”

  “We'll be fine.” I reassured her since Bruce and Stan were right there. Kalani nodded and disappeared through a hallway.

  “The dolphins are awesome, right? Lana got attached to you quickly.”

  “I like her a lot. I'm glad she likes me.”

  “Of course she does,” Josh placed both hands on my waist and pulled me to him. “I know I do.”

  “Nothing is going to change when we go back home, right?” I looked away, my expression filled with something that made Josh's face drop. “I just don't want this to end. Or have you change your mind.”

  “Alison Taylor Millard,” Josh’s smirk spread across his face as he spoke. “Do you honestly think I would break up with you when we got back home?” I turned back to face Josh. “Trust me, Ali. That isn't going to happen.”

  “Promise?” I whispered.

  “Is 'promise' going to be our 'okay' and 'always'?”

  “Can it be?” Now I couldn't wipe away my giddy smile.

  “Yes.” Josh kissed my cheek.

  “Promise?” I whispered again. Josh locked his eyes with my own.

  “Promise.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you more.” Josh's response made me chuckle.

  “Are we really that far in the relationship?” I teased.

  “Why yes, we are. I've been in love with you for weeks but haven't acted on it until now. I refuse to let more time pass by with those words unspoken. I love you and I will prove it to you every single day until I die. Like I said before; you're my light that guides me out from the darkness.”

  Everything about Josh, his compassion, his way with words, the twinkle in his eyes, it all brings so much light to illuminate inside of me. There weren’t enough words to express how much I loved him. These past few weeks were difficult since I thought that we would never end up together. The emotional pain was excruciating. Now that I actually did have him, I didn't want to let this go. It didn’t matter if Josh and I started a romantic relationship only hours ago; we have been in love with each other for weeks, and that is what counted.

  With this in mind, I closed the agonizing space keeping us from one another and pressed my lips to Josh's. They tasted like creamy coconut from the cheesecake we had for breakfast earlier that morning.

  A warmth I never experienced before started to take over my body just then, the sensation craving more and more. Hungrily but tenderly Josh parted my lips with his and kissed me passionately for the very first time. Even though my heart raced deep within my chest I didn't hesitate to respond, and soon enough Josh and I were locked together in a heat of passion.

  “Hold on,” Josh pulled back and glanced around for a moment. On one end of the pool was a small cave to give the area a feel of the ocean for the dolphins. “Follow me.”

  We quickly swam to the other side of the pool and entered the cave. With a mischievous grin Josh pressed me up against the cave's rocky wall and breathed into my neck. Even though the water was a little chilly, his skin was hot against mine somehow. Soon I felt the edges of his teeth gently grazing the hollow of my neck, the young man having wandering hands.

  With my legs wrapped around his waist, I pulled him closer. Our eyes locked just then, unspoken words passing between the two of us. I could clearly see the fire burning within Josh's hazel eyes and knew he was able to see my own.

  The silence continued to pass between us before Josh sighed, his strong hands cupping both sides of my face. I was about to ask what was wrong but he placed a thumb up to my lips, the question never having the chance to leave my mouth.

  “I'm probably going to hate myself for saying this, but we should stop right now.”

  “Okay.” My legs released Josh but he didn't pull away.

  “Remember how I told you that I wasn't the kind of guy to be in a relationship? That I just wanted to hook up with girls? Well...I don't want us to go too fast; physically, I mean. I don't want anything to get ruined between the two of us.”

  I sighed in relief. “I also don't want us to move too fast, either. Especially since I'm still a-” I broke off and had to turn away, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

  “There's nothing wrong with being a virgin.” Josh turned my face so our eyes locked. “It's nothing to be ashamed of.”

  The dolphins entered the cave then and wanted to play. I was glad for their interruption because my inexperience in the bedroom was the last thing I wanted to talk about. I smiled and nodded, giving Josh a small peck on the cheek before swimming out of the cave.

  The unmoving fish was slippery even while wearing rubber gloves and made it almost impossible to hold the fish. When Kalani returned with two buckets of fish the three of us met up at the shallow end of the pool where the water only went up to my waist. The metal buckets sat on the edge of the pool so we could easily grab the fish.

  “All you have to do is throw a fish right in the water.” Kalani tossed one of them and waited. To my surprise, the three dolphins didn't fight over the food. Each time Kalani threw a fish the dolphins would swim up one at a time as if taking turns.

  “So just toss them?” I asked before tossi
ng a fish. Lana swam up and bit it securely in her mouth. I smiled and grabbed another one.

  “I want to get these three fed before the baby dolphin comes in.” Kalani tossed more fish into the water.

  “There's a baby coming?” Josh asked.

  “Yeah,” Kalani nodded. “The poor thing was separated from its mother that we tagged. Her tracker suddenly shut down out of nowhere but her baby's didn't. We suspect they were attacked because the baby has some wounds.”

  “That's so sad.” My voice dropped.

  “I know.” Kalani agreed. “The baby has been staying at our other facility on the other side of the island for the last couple of weeks to gain back her strength. Now that she's better we're transporting her here.”

  “Is she eventually going to be released back in the ocean?” Josh asked.

  “No. She needs a mother to teach her how to hunt and to protect her from predators. Even if we released her when she's fully grown she still won't know how to hunt or defend herself. She'll be staying with us for the rest of her life.”

  “This must be such a great job to have.” I commented. Kalani smiled and nodded in response.

  Lana, Kaimana, and Miliani were soon guided through an underwater gate that led to an entirely different pool after all of the fish had been consumed. Since the new baby dolphin would be frightened she had to adapt to her new surroundings. Losing her mother and getting separated from her pod was traumatic enough; being taken away by strange humans and not knowing what was happening just added to the poor dolphin's traumatic experiences at such a young age.

  “Don't get discouraged if the baby doesn't want to be near the two of you.” Kalani said as Josh and I nodded. Stan and Bruce stood by the entrance as a team of four men came walking towards the pool with the baby dolphin in one of the men's arms. The bottlenose dolphin squirmed for freedom but failed, the little sea creature being the size of a small dog.

  “Easy, Akela.” I heard the man say as he addressed the frantic dolphin. “Everything is okay.”

  When Akela was released in the pool she swam away immediately towards the cave to hide; for such a small little creature she was fast. Kalani stepped out of the pool to talk to the group of guys, bringing me to look back over at the cave on the other side of the pool. I was tempted to try and comfort Akela but was afraid of scaring her even more than she already was.

  “What do you think would happen if I swam over there?” I asked after turning to Josh.

  “It's hard to tell,” Josh replied. “I doubt she'll attack.”

  “I'm not worried about that.” I focused my attention back towards the cave. After thinking it over I began to swim in that direction.

  “We should give her some space.” One of the men said to me.

  “Actually, let Alison go.” Kalani vouched for me. “Try going to the cave by yourself. I'm curious about something.”

  “I'll wait up here then.” Josh pulled himself out of the water and stood next to the group. With a nod, I continued to swim towards the cave, and soon enough made it to the entrance. I entered slowly, making sure my movements were both slow and gentle. I didn't see Akela and thought that maybe she swam out of the cave, the water calm and unmoving at first.

  At the corner of my eye was when I saw her.

  Huddled in the back of the cave was none other than Akela herself, her eyes locked on me as her head bobbed on top of the surface.

  “Hey.” I whispered as soothingly as I could. Something warned me that I should just stay where I was and let her come to me on her terms. With gingerly movements, I pressed against the rocky wall and relaxed every muscle in my body. If I wanted Akela to come to me then I needed to let all of the tension melt away; she needed to know she was safe.

  I closed my eyes to lose myself in the surroundings of the cave. All I heard was the small ripples hitting the cave's wall, and even though that was the only sound I could hear, it was still relaxing and easy to lose yourself to. I don't know how long my eyes were closed for but when I opened them Akela was just a few feet in front of me. Her curious eyes were on mine, a small chirp coming from her. I outstretched my hand slowly towards her and waited. She didn't act right away, but soon enough, she poked my palm with her nose.

  “Well, I'll be damned.” Josh muttered as the entire group kept their eyes on the cave the whole time.

  “Alison has a gift,” Kalani snickered. “No one has been able to comfort Akela like that.”

  “That's for sure.” Josh agreed as they continued to watch in amazement. It took a little coaxing but Akela eventually left the cave and followed me in the middle of the pool, the two of us playing in the water as the others kept a respectable distance.

  “You, Alison, are one amazing girl.”

  By now Josh and I were back at the beach house and eating dinner in the living room. Not long after Akela and I shared a special moment I started to feel really tired and weak. I knew I had to rest but I didn't want to leave the pool, so Josh promised that we could go there every single day until we left Hawaii at the end of the week.

  “Nah. You could’ve done it.”

  “No I couldn't.” Josh snickered. “Somehow you're able to form a bond with almost any animal. How long did it take for you and your two horses to start a bond?”

  “Hmm,” I put a spoonful of chicken soup with mixed vegetables in my mouth and thought back to the first time my grandfather introduced me to the horses. “Maybe around fifteen minutes? It took Jeremy and Carly at least a week or two.”

  “See? That's what I'm talking about.” Josh finished his own soup and wrapped an arm around me. “There's something about you that draws everything in. You drew me in when I first saw you.”

  “To be honest, I really don't see what's so special about me,” I chuckled. “I'm just myself...the fact that you fell for me is surprising.”

  “Why's that?”

  “Because you're a famous actor who has his entire life already planned out. You're achieving your goals and have a secure future.” I responded honestly. “I'm just a normal girl who won the Cancer Reaping lottery and has absolutely no idea if I even have a future to look forward to. If you died tomorrow then the entire world would know and grieve over you; if I died tomorrow then only you, your family, Natalie, Scott, Jeremy, and my parents would grieve. The whole world wouldn't even know I existed.”

  “Don't talk like that.” Josh's grip tightened around me but not enough to hurt. “I just got you. I refuse to lose you.”

  “Josh-”

  “No!” Josh shook his head. “I can't deal with the fact that I could lose you. It's constantly on my mind but I force it away. I just want to be here with you right now. In the present.” Our eyes locked, his lips so close to mine that I could feel the warmth radiating off from him. “Can we just live in this moment together?”

  The desperation in his eyes was heartbreaking. I couldn't bring myself to make him see reason or reality. Instead, I nodded and softly kissed him.

  “Okay. I won't talk about that kind of stuff anymore.”

  “Promise?” Josh murmured.

  “Promise.”

  Josh scooped me up in his arms after seeing I was finished with my food and walked us towards the guest bedroom with a sly smirk.

  “What are you doing?” I laughed.

  “Living in the moment.” Josh leaned down and kissed me with so much passion that I felt undeniably alive again. Our kiss never broke or faltered, even when Josh walked in the darkened bedroom and closed the door behind him for the night.

  Chapter Eleven

  Stay safe,

  Even when the world starts treating you poorly.

  Stay safe,

  Lock away all your little worries.

  Stay safe,

  Just know you'll always be in my heart.

  Stay safe,

  I'll light this candle to fend away the dark.

  Stay safe.

  Just stay safe. />
  Stay safe,

  Even if you feel like no one's around.

  Stay safe,

  Even if you're falling to the ground.

  Stay safe,

  You'll be alright when the monsters go bump in the night.

  Stay safe,

  You'll be alright when I turn out the light.

  “Working on a new song?”

  I glanced up from the guitar resting on my lap and saw Josh walk out of the house. Today was the last day we would be in Hawaii and had an early flight to catch in the morning. These past seven days had been the most enchanting week I ever had. It was perfect. I honestly didn't want to leave but I had upcoming doctor appointments I had to go to, not to mention Battle of the Bands was two days away.

  “It's actually a song I've been working on for a while now,” I responded. Josh walked over to the hammock I was sitting on and sat next to me. A couple of days ago I had woken up alone in bed and saw a note from Josh on the pillow, the note saying he had gone to the store and would be back shortly. I thought that he went to the store to buy more food, but when he returned he had a brand new acoustic guitar for me. “That was only the chorus. I just figured out the music notes to match the lyrics.”

  “Can I hear the whole thing?”

  “Okay.” I kissed Josh before focusing my attention on the guitar. “The song is called Stay Safe.”

  I'll be there to catch you when the world spins out of control,

  I'll always be around,

  Even when the world turns ice cold.

  The answers have been in front of you,

  But you have never known.

  Open your eyes,

  I promise that you won't be alone.

  You've stumbled at the crossroads and don't know which way to take,

  You turned around and went back,

  Not wanting to make the same mistake I made.

  A fear from Death coming for you which you can't shake,