Mastering Darkness

by Kate Wendley

  They eventually stopped at a bench in an area that seemed mostly secluded from where others in the park were. Speakers cleverly hidden nearby played romantic background music.

  He teased, “And what’s your middle name?”

  She always felt like she was lying when she told people her full name since it wasn’t what she was born with. But she’d also wanted to keep some attachment to her real family roots, so she used her mother’s middle name as her own. It was the only part of it that felt real and genuine to her.

  “Leona.”

  “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” His flattery was nice, but it immediately made her feel bad since it was all a big lie, and she didn’t want to lie to a man she wanted to get to know better.

  When he cocked his head in a way that made her feel like he could read her thoughts, she got a sick feeling in her stomach.

  Trying for a change of subject, she casually said, “Thank you. So how was your day today?”

  “Truthfully, it was a very busy, but pleasant day. I was very much looking forward to seeing you again.”

  “Me too.”

  “Tell me more about yourself. Are you from Atlanta?”

  She froze up inside. “No, actually. I’m from up north. The Midwest.”

  He was obviously waiting for her to go on, but she didn’t want to and was at a loss for how to get his attention off this topic.

  “Do you have a lot of family up north? Any siblings?”

  This subject always made her nervous. She could just lie, but thinking about her old home always put her on edge and made her head swim. “Oh, I grew up in a house full of boys. How about you? Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

  “No. No siblings, though I’m surrounded by people every day, taking care of everyone, so in a way I feel like I have a very large family.”

  “That’s right. You take care of some apartments, too, besides mentoring people. And you invest. Do you live far from work? Hopefully you don’t have a long commute on top of all that.”

  His words slowly dragged out, like he was afraid of how she’d react to them. “I live in the apartments I take care of, actually.”

  “Really? Do you like that? I think I’d go stir crazy feeling like I never got to go home and relax.”

  “I don’t always think of it as work. I guess you could say it’s just my life. It’s what I know. Not that I don’t need a stress reliever sometimes, but it feels like home to me.”

  “What do you like to do to relieve stress?”

  He eyed her as if he was still trying to make out what he thought of her. Maybe he was. “I like to get outside when I can. I’m indoors working so much, it’s nice to get some fresh air when I need a break from everything. I go for walks either in my neighborhood or an occasional hike in the woods. Sometimes just a drive around the city will clear my head, or a trip to the bookstore.”

  “Were you taking a break last night? Is that why you were out?”

  He looked thoughtfully at her. “I suppose I was. I… have had something on my mind for a while that I haven’t been able to shake from my thoughts.”

  Finally. Something personal. “Anything you’d like to talk about?”

  He studied her for a moment. “Thank you, but I’d hate to spoil the mood. I believe I was just rehashing something troubling that happened a while ago.” He smiled more intimately at her. “You were a pleasant distraction from those thoughts.”

  He was being more open with her tonight, which was nice, but he obviously didn’t want to tell her too much about himself.

  She casually touched his leg as she said, “You seem like an interesting person, Anthony, and I’d like to get to know you better.” She forced a small smile out, a little hurt that he was being so closed off with her after she’d put in so much effort to keep him talking. “It’s none of my business if something’s on your mind, but if you’d ever like to talk about anything, I’d like to listen.”

  The muscle in his thigh tightened under her hand as he intently watched her. Ok… she’d pushed him too far.

  “You are much too kind to me, my sweet. Much, much too kind.”

  He rested his hand atop hers and surprisingly said, “If you’d like to be my sounding board, I could share a little about what was weighing on my conscience last night. It would be nice to get another opinion on the matter.”

  She tried not to sound too excited about him finally telling her something that would give her some insight into his personality. “Sure. I didn’t mean to guilt you into spilling your secrets, but if you’d like to share something, please, I’m all ears.”

  He quietly chuckled and his tight thigh muscle relaxed. “The thought never crossed my mind, but thank you for that.”

  His smile faded and transitioned into a small frown as he began his story. “About a year ago, seven men moved into the apartments I manage on the condition they cease the drug activity they were involved in. It was either that or other consequences. Worse consequences. They each chose to move in and over the next six months all but one turned themselves around and are now doing honest work, no trouble at all from them. But the last one, the ring leader, he was a pain from day one and nothing I offered or tried to help him with seemed to get through to him.”

  Anthony frowned harder. “He continually tried to leave and go back to his old way of life, forcing me to personally monitor him day and night. It was maddening for me because I wanted things to work out. I didn’t want to have to resort to a more extreme punishment.”

  Hmm. Anthony was interesting. And responsible, and caring, and humane. Yep, she’d found a winner. Now if only he’d stick around.

  “It weighs on my conscience that if I’d done something differently, perhaps the outcome for his life would’ve been different. Perhaps he wouldn’t have ended up more or less in the same position he was in when he came to me, and perhaps he wouldn’t have… died.”

  “Whoa. He died?”

  He looked worriedly at her. “Yes.”

  “Wow. That’s some heavy stuff you deal with.”

  His entire body tensed up as he hurriedly said, “I apologize. This isn’t the time or place to be discussing this topic.”

  She grabbed his arm, then put her finger up to shoosh him. “Anthony. Stop. That’s not what I meant. I’d like to learn more about you no matter what the topic is.”

  He blinked hard, like he wasn’t sure what to make of her, but then his stiff shoulders relaxed. Curiouser and curiouser…

  Last night he’d seemed like such an intense mystery. Tonight, she felt like she was starting to understand him. If she was reading him right, it seemed to make him nervous when he thought he was doing something to offend her… or when she was just being a woman to him. The small touches. A shared laugh. An intimate gaze…

  Maybe he was nervous because he wasn’t a casual kind of guy.

  “It sounds like you have a lot of responsibilities. Is that part of what you normally do every day? Counsel people on changing their lives after they’ve gotten in some kind of trouble? How do you find the time on top of all your other work?”

  A small smile lit up his eyes, but otherwise he sat near motionless as he watched her. “I don’t normally counsel people. Even if I wanted to, that’s not my area of expertise, nor do I feel I’d be any good at it.”

  “But you took on that responsibility for this man. Why? He was a mentally capable adult, right?”

  “Yes. He was fully capable of being a decent person, he just chose not to obey my rules. I took these men in because they’re relations to the people that live in the apartments I manage. I oversee the buildings as well as some aspects of the family’s finances and general care. And since it was a family issue, I helped oversee their rehabilitation. As for the ring leader, I was the only one that held any sway over him. He didn’t get into any more trouble while I supervised him, but not because he didn’t want to. He made that very clear, every day, for six incredibly long months.”

 
; She slowly said, “He didn’t obey you, and you feel responsible because as hard as you tried with him, his attitude never changed.”

  He nodded. “Yes. I suppose that’s it.”

  “Do you want to know what I think?”

  He cocked his head and fought a smirk. “Yes. I welcome your thoughts.”

  She smirked right back at him. “I think ‘obey’ is a strong word to use. If people innately have free will, then they can choose whether or not to obey any rule they want.” He looked like he was going to interrupt her, so she put a finger up to tell him to wait. “I’m not saying what this person did or how he acted was right as far as your or my world goes, but he had every right to be a jackass and then experience all the trouble that went along with it. You did what you felt was right because if you hadn’t, I’m assuming you’d have felt even worse for not trying to help because that’s what you believe in. But this guy had the right to accept personal responsibility for all the trouble he got himself into because they were his choices that brought him there. Those consequences are on him to own, not anyone else. Not even you, no matter how guilty you feel for how things ended.”

  Anthony gave her a curious look, then lightly took her hand and kissed the back of it. She fought a shiver of desire, fearing that if she did something wrong, he’d tense up again and this unexpected romantic gesture would end.

  He quietly said with a hint of a mischievous smile, “I like the consequences of your decision to join me tonight.”

  She tried not to whimper at his suddenly sexy tone. “You’re making fun of me.”

  He lowered her hand and held it in his lap, stroking her ever so gently. “Actually, I’m not. I hadn’t ever thought of the situation from that angle. You have a unique way of looking at things. I… still struggle with thinking some punishments he received were too harsh, but then, maybe they weren’t. Perhaps I’ve been beating myself up too much. He was who he was and I wasn’t going to change that. I guess I believe everyone must have some good in them, but maybe that’s the wrong focal point. It might be more accurate to say everyone has a choice to do socially acceptable things, but that’s not the choice everyone makes. Thank you. I will spend some time thinking on that.”

  She gave his hand a little squeeze, and was amazed he was being so relaxed with her now. “You can keep second guessing yourself, but it sounds like he’s the one that came into your life. You did what you thought was best and that’s what matters. If you hadn’t tried to help when you did, he could’ve hurt others while he was still out getting in trouble, and then whatever happened to him to end his life might’ve still happened. Whether it was now or later, he wasn’t stopping his destructive lifestyle, so it would’ve still just been a matter of time. And, well, I don’t know you very well yet, but you probably put a lot of effort into trying to help him before he passed away.”

  His intense look was suddenly back. “Yes I did. And yes, I suppose I could second guess myself forever. I just don’t like the position he put me in. It makes things uncomfortable at home when things like this happen, which is thankfully not often.”

  She playfully said, “Then maybe you need to get out more. With me.”

  His sexy smile flashed back in an instant. “That’s the best idea I’ve had in ages.”

  Chapter 7

  Crickets chirped, scents of magnolia blossoms, greenery and earth floated on a light, ever changing breeze, soothing music played all around them, and soft garden lights made tonight feel magically romantic. Kaia couldn’t believe how perfect this date was turning out to be.

  She relaxed this time as Anthony pet her hand. He lifted it to kiss the back of it again, then slowly reached out as if he’d cup her cheek. Her pulse raced…

  Anthony flicked an irritated glance to the walking path near them, and their moment of closeness was broken.

  “Good evening Patrick.”

  Kaia frowned. What. The. Hell. “Hey Patrick. What’re you doing here?”

  Anthony curiously asked, “You two know each other?”

  “Hey Kaia. Hey Anthony. I saw you guys sitting here. Thought I’d say hi.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. Something wasn’t right, and Anthony was now looking back and forth at them in confusion. Oh great. He probably thought they were together.

  “Patrick lives in my building. He’s in an apartment down the hall from me.”

  Anthony clenched his jaw, his demeanor suddenly hard and unfriendly. After a tense silence, he said, “You live at Wild Woods?”

  She stilled at his growing anger. “Yeah. Small world. You’ve been out there before?”

  His eyes narrowed in suspicion and his tone was sharp when he said, “Yes. I’m well acquainted with Ethan and others there.”

  “Well since you know where Wild Woods is, I guess you won’t get lost when you pick me up for our next date.” She smiled playfully, hoping to lighten his sudden dark mood, but she worried this date was as good as dead. Thanks Patrick.

  Anthony’s eyes somehow seemed darker than before. He didn’t look quite as unfriendly anymore, but he still had that intense vibe about him that he’d had last night. With a start she realized he hadn’t been like that at all tonight, until now, which didn’t make her feel good about how things were going.

  Sounding only slightly less moody, he said, “I most definitely will not get lost. How long have you lived there? It’s been a while since I’ve been by. It’s a lovely location.”

  She’d thought he’d be upset at Patrick, another man showing up unexpectedly, but he seemed more upset about where she lived. Why was that? “About five years or so.” She eyed their intruder meaningfully. “I see a few people out there pretty regularly. I suppose I’ll see you again tonight when I get home, Patrick.” She gave him a more obvious look, telling him with her eyes to leave, but he either didn’t take the hint or was playing stupid. What the hell was going on?

  Anthony shifted beside her, putting some distance between them as he sat back more fully against the wooden bench and got comfortable. She frowned at this complete casualness she’d never seen from him, and the fact that he didn’t want the closeness anymore that they’d just shared.

  “So tell me Patrick, are there a lot of new people at Wild Woods?” He smiled as he stared straight at him, and Kaia was more and more confused by what was going on. Was he just being friendly, or was she missing something?

  Patrick looked like he was afraid to meet Anthony’s eyes, his gaze flicking away as he awkwardly said, “Uh, besides Kaia, no. Not many people move in or out of there.”

  Anthony nodded, his attention still like a laser beam on Patrick. “I heard you got a new car that Cory’s jealous of. Sebastian mentioned he heard you talking about it. I think he’s jealous, too.”

  Patrick cautiously smiled. “Aw, Cory’s just a peckerhe−,” he cleared his throat and started again. “He’s just jealous, but it’s all in fun. I got a Challenger Hellcat…”

  Kaia sat quietly listening for a short time before turning her attention on Anthony again, who for the most part acted like she wasn’t even there anymore. What the hell? He’d rather have guy talk with Patrick than get to know her?

  She fumed as she tried to think about the most mature way to handle this total dive bomb of a date. Luckily she didn’t need to brainstorm for long because Patrick stopped talking, mid-sentence, and waved goodbye. She was so relieved, but just as she turned back to Anthony, Ethan was suddenly standing right in front of them.

  He grimaced and tightly snapped, “Well hello there you two! Didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”

  Oh hell. So much for trying to salvage this night. She didn’t even bother pretending to be nice. “Hi Ethan. Felt like coming to the Botanical Garden tonight? Anthony says you two know each other.”

  Ethan looked smug, yet irritated as he stared Anthony down.

  “Why yes we do, though I admit I don’t see Anthony very often. He’s quite the workaholic.”

  Ethan smirked, his
eyes still glued to Anthony.

  Anthony’s attention was all on him, too. “It’s true I don’t often leave the club or apartments, but I’m not always working. It’s simply my home.” He smiled cordially at Ethan, then turned to Kaia. “It seems your neighbors are all looking for some fresh air tonight.” He turned his attention back to Ethan. “It’s a beautiful night. Do you come out here often?”

  Ethan looked furious for a brief instant, then quickly covered it with a thin smile.

  “Oh, I have a meeting with a business associate down the street. I thought it’d be nice to swing by here first since I was in the neighborhood.” He tilted his head slightly and narrowed his eyes at Anthony. “It’s pretty dark out. Please do make sure our Kaia is kept safe tonight. I’d hate to think of any harm coming to her. I’m not sure how I’d take that.”

  Kaia popped up and grabbed him by the arm. “Ethan. Can I talk to you?”

  He gave her a look of sheer innocence as she pulled him far enough away that Anthony hopefully wouldn’t be able to hear them talk.

  “What has gotten into you guys? Why are you here? Are you following me?”

  When Ethan didn’t say anything, she snapped, “Why?”

  Still no answer. “Wait, do you follow me on all my dates?”

  When there was still no reply, she freaked out. “Oh my God!” She fisted her hands in the air in front of her instead of reaching out and strangling her friend like she wanted to do. “We’re not having this discussion right now Ethan, but we’re definitely going to talk about this later.” Her hands had a mind of their own as she nervously wondered if there was any possible way of salvaging this.

  Ethan actually seemed upset by her anger. “Kaia, come on. Don’t be mad.”

  “You guys stalk me, then threaten my date. Have you gone insane?”

  He more quietly said, “I just want you to be safe.”

  A chill went down her spine. “You don’t think I’m safe with him? Is he psycho or something? He doesn’t seem crazy. How well do you know him?”

  Ethan went still and gave her a hard look. He stared at her for a few moments, flicked an irritated glance at Anthony, then back to her. He finally sighed and dejectedly shook his head.