The Taste of Sorrow

by Joshua Erik Rossi

  “Oh, will I have a choice this time?” Shep asked.

  “Probably not. In fact, I can’t wait to see what Dottie gives you to perform.” He pulled Shep aside. “I heard she wants you to do Puttin’ On The Ritz from Young Frankenstein.”

  “Oh hell no,” he paused. “What is it?”

  Cody laughed. “She wants you to do it because you’re so tall. It’s Frankenstein, tap dancing.”

  “Aw hell-no.” Shep smirked.

  “You’ll have fun, I promise.”

  “What are you performing in the showcase?”

  Cody shrugged. “I don’t know. She hasn’t told me yet. I’m hoping she’ll let me team up with you as Doctor Frankenstein. We could get Shelby and Rex to dance with us. It would be great!”

  “I can’t tap dance.”

  “I’ll teach you,” Cody offered, putting his sandals on. “I wanted to do this barefoot. I think Prince Chulalongkorn would be barefoot but Dottie said there might be a nail or something on the stage.”

  “I think she knows best,” Shep said. “She’s really quite remarkable for a woman her age.”

  “Theater is in her blood. Once it’s there,” Cody said, “there is no turning back. You’re a performer for life.”

  “Circle up everyone! Circle up!” Dottie called out. She grasped the hands of the people on either side of her and the cast came together making a circle and holding hands. “Shep! Shep you get in here! You’re one of us now!”

  Shep’s vision blurred as his eyes teared up. Her words struck something deep and meaningful inside of him. He was ready to give up on people, ready to live alone for the rest of his life but instead, he was here, surrounded by this cast of new friends. He took Cody’s hand and they joined the circle.

  “Yeah, get in here with us Shep. We can’t have a circle without our King,” Shelby called out.

  Everyone smiled.

  “For those of you who are new here, we always do this before the show,” Dottie explained. “I’ll start by saying this is the most talented cast I’ve ever worked with. You are all amazing and you worked so hard, especially you Shep. I did not know you were such a graceful dancer! You and Shelby look wonderful. You all look wonderful tonight and I love you very much.”

  “We love you too, Dottie,” Delilah said. “If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t be here.”

  “Literally!” Darrell piped up.

  Everyone laughed.

  Cody smiled and squeezed Shep’s hand. “I want to say something. I’ve been doing shows here since I was a kid and I have to say that this is the first time I felt like...like it was me, really me and when everyone found out...that I’m with Shep, most of you accepted it and that made me so happy.” Tears came to his eyes.

  “Oh Cody, don’t cry! You’ll make me cry!” Shelby said, starting to weep.

  He smiled and blinked the tears away, “Break a leg everyone! I love you all.”

  “We love you too Cody!” Delilah called out.

  “Uh...” Shep began, “I’m not someone who gets nervous but I have to admit, I’m a little nervous right now.”

  “You’ll be fine, honey,” Dottie told him. “You were at every rehearsal. You could do this in your sleep.”

  “We all could,” Cody said, smiling.

  Everyone laughed.

  “I have something to say,” Marcie spoke up. “I think all of you look beautiful tonight in your costumes and it’s going to be a great show. I want to remind you that God is watching over all of you. Make him proud of you and I’ll be praying for you while I’m down here in the Green Room.”

  “Thank you Marcie for your hard work on the costumes,” Dottie said. “All right cast. It is now 7:25 pm. In five minutes, those curtains will open for you! Get to your places!”

  “Ohhhhh my God,” Shep uttered. “What am I doing here?”

  “Stage fright?” Cody asked, smiling at him.

  “Just a bit, yeah.”

  Cody put his hands on Shep’s face and pulled him down for a kiss. “Better?”

  “The Prince isn’t supposed to kiss the King,” Delilah teased, “That’s like incest.”

  “He’s your Daddy!” Shelby squealed.

  Shep laughed. “Who’s your Daddy?” he asked Cody, playfully smacking him on the bum.

  Cody smiled and winked at Shep. “Let’s go. I’m going to remember this show for the rest of my life!” Full of energy, he ran up the steps to the stage, leaving the Green Room.

  Shep was right behind him but someone was patting his arm. It was Dottie.

  “You’ve been a good role model for him,” Dottie said. “I haven’t seen him drinking at rehearsals.”

  Shep grinned. He could have explained that Cody wasn’t a drunk, that he was doing it to try and fit in with the rest of the men in town but they didn’t have time for a lengthy explanation. “Thank you,” he said. “I’m glad you dragged me in here, Dottie.”

  “Did I?” she asked. “I don’t think so. I bet you often stand outside of theaters thinking about being on stage.”

  “It was an old dream of mine,” he admitted.

  “There are no old dreams. There are ones we start later in life, but they’re not old, Shep. They’re brand new and full of promise just waiting for you to begin. You remember that now, will you?”

  “Of course.” He escorted her to the doorway that led to where the audience would be sitting. Her job as director was done. From this point on, she’d be a spectator.

  She patted his bare, muscled chest. “Oh yes, I chose well. You make a wonderful King.”

  Shep laughed, leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Enjoy the show.”

  “I know I will,” she said, going through the door.

  Shep had learned his way through the tunnels and up the steps in the darkness. He went, in total silence, to stage left. Everyone was quiet. He stood smiling beside Cody while the announcer welcomed everyone to the theater.

  “Full house!” someone whispered.

  “Full house? Oh my God,” another said.

  Cody smiled, wide. “That means every seat is taken,” he whispered to Shep, “All three hundred seats! We haven’t had a full house in years!”

  Shep closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He exhaled slowly to steady his nerves. He hoped to God that he didn’t dance Shelby right off the stage!

  “You got this,” Cody whispered.

  Shep smiled at him, leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

  “Oh no,” Cody said, putting his hand on Shep’s ass and rubbing it. “Thank you!”

  Shep quietly chuckled as Cody went out onto the stage and the play began.

  Everything went the way they had rehearsed it. The orchestra filled the house with music and Shep stood in awe of how well everyone in the cast sang their musical numbers. He did his best to keep up with them and apparently, he wasn’t half bad. After his solo number, he received a thunderous applause that halted the show for a full minute.

  At the end of the show they went out for curtain call to bow before their audience. Shep and Cody went out together and the people in the audience began to stand up.

  “Standing ovation!” Shelby yelped. “Oh my God! Cody! Shep! A standing ovation!”

  “I see it Shelbs, I see it,” Cody said proudly. “We finally did it!”

  Shep was stunned and amazed. He was overwhelmed with the adoration the audience was giving them. It was hard for him to believe that he was on the receiving end of it. He scanned over the faces of the people standing in front of their seats. They were people he’d passed by on the street but he didn’t know them all personally. His gaze settled on a man in the back of the theater, standing by the wall. He was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt and he was carrying an overcoat draped over one arm. He wasn’t clapping.

  He couldn’t.

  The man was missing a hand.

  The lights in the house went up and Shep hurried to get off the stage while the rest of the cast greeted the
people in the audience. Shep had to talk to the man and find out who he was but as Shep went up the aisle, the man went around the corner and out into the lobby. “Excuse me,” Shep said, trying to get through the crowd. “Excuse me please!”

  Cody saw Shep run down the steps and off the stage. He followed after him but people kept stopping him. He politely made his way through the crowd, to the lobby and then, out onto the street. He stood by Shep’s truck, searching through the crowded sidewalk until he saw Shep talking to the man. “No, oh no,” Cody moaned. He leaned against the truck. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t! Not now! Not tonight!

  “Can I ask you what your name is, Sir?” Shep asked the man.

  “Pardon me? You must have me mistaken for someone else,” the man said. He smiled. “Such a wonderful show tonight!”

  “Your name, Sir, please,” Shep said.

  “Willard Browning,” he said. “Do I know you?”

  “No,” Shep said. “I’m a police officer here in Fort Kenton.”

  “You look like a King tonight. Rather good job, I must say. You have a beautiful singing voice.”

  “Thank you. I’m doing an investigation...” Shep paused. He heard the unmistakable roar of his truck engine. He turned and stared. Someone was stealing his truck? “Cody!” he called out but Cody didn’t stop. He drove down the street fast, too fast!

  The man disappeared into the crowd.

  Shep swore loudly and he went over to the police cruiser where Joe was sitting and drinking a cup of coffee. He got inside the car.

  “What the…?”

  “Cody took my truck. He’s driving like a maniac,” Shep said.

  “Here we go again,” Joe said, flipping on the lights.

  “What the hell is wrong with him?” Shep asked. “I went to talk to this guy I saw in the audience. He only had one hand. I thought it might be the man I’m looking for but I lost him after Cody took off...”

  “Which way?” Joe asked.

  “Go right! Didn’t you see him taking my truck?”

  “I was drinking my coffee,” Joe said. He sighed and tossed the Styrofoam cup out the window. He turned the sirens on and raced down the street. They found Shep’s truck in Cody’s drive way and Cody was sitting inside of it, holding his head in his hands and rocking back and forth.

  “What the..?” Shep reached for the door handle.

  “You better let me do this,” Joe said.

  “What happened?”

  “Who knows?” Joe replied. “He does this. You didn’t know?”

  “No,” Shep said softly. He got out of the cruiser but stayed at a distance as Joe Flynn approached the truck.

  “The man, the man,” Cody repeated over and over again.

  “Cody? It’s Uncle Joe. You’re all right. Calm down now, son. What happened?”

  “The man,” Cody said, “the man, the man.” He rocked back and forth faster.

  “Cody, take it easy now. I’m going to have to pull you out of there. You’re going to hurt yourself,” Joe said. He flung the truck door open and pulled Cody out of the truck. Cody screamed.

  Shep ran up to them but Joe already had him on the ground.

  “The man! The man!” Cody yelled and thrashed, trying to get away.

  “What man?” Shep asked, crouching down beside them. “What happened Cody?”

  “I saw him!”

  “Who? Who did you see?” Shep asked.

  “Get off me! Leave me alone!” Cody yelled.

  “Are you going to come to your senses?” Joe asked.

  “I’m okay just get OFF me!”

  “You sure?”

  “YES!” Cody yelled at them.

  Joe let him up and Cody ran into his house without looking at Shep and he closed the door, fast.

  “What was that all about?” Shep asked.

  “He must have seen him in the crowd.”

  “Seen who?”

  “The bastard that raped him when he was a little boy,” Joe said. “He never could give us a description of the guy. He goes on with that, the man, the man stuff and if you push him too hard, he’ll stop talking all together.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “Years ago,” Joe said. “I told you. There are things that ain’t right about that boy. He sure has his share of problems and it’s all because of that bastard I couldn’t catch.”

  Shep’s blood ran cold and his gut twisted. He began to shake from rage. “Did he tell you he was raped?”

  “No, we found him unconscious. His mother was at work and George called me. He found him laying over by the swing in the yard, naked. He was about six years old at the time. Hell, George thought Cody was dead. It was obvious what somebody had done to him. We had to take him to the hospital. That man tore him up.”

  “And you don’t know anything about this guy?” Shep ranted. “He’s twenty-two years old now and you don’t know anything? In sixteen fucking years, you couldn’t find out a damn thing?”

  “Now you hold on there,” Joe said, raising his voice. His voice shook with anger. “I told you, the boy won’t talk! He couldn’t tell us anything! I had nothin’ to go on! You think I should push him? Interrogate him? What if he loses his fucking mind all together? Are you going to be the one to visit him in the looney bin?”

  “Fuck!” Shep swore. He pushed his hand back through his hair and placed his hands on his hips.

  “Did you hear him singing tonight?” Joe asked, pointing at the house where Cody was hiding away. “That boy is talented. He’s smart. Okay, so he has a few screws loose. It ain’t his fault and I’m not going to ruin his life. I will not be the one to send him over the edge!”

  The screen door opened and it slammed shut. Cody stood in the shadows on the porch. He’d put a baggy hooded sweatshirt on and he jammed his hands into the front pocket. He walked, with his head down, over to where his uncle was talking with Shep.

  “Are you all right now?” Joe asked.

  “Yes Sir.”

  “Cody,” Shep said, looking at him, “Who did you see?”

  “You were talking to him.”

  Joe’s gaze met with Shep’s. “Your one handed man?”

  “He said his name is Willard Browning.”

  “Willard?” Joe asked. He looked at Cody. “Is he the one that hurt you?”

  Cody nodded. “Yes Sir.”

  “That son-of-a-bitch,” Joe muttered. “You stay here with him. I’m going after that son-of-a-bitch!”

  Cody’s hands flew from the pocket to his head. “The man, the man...”

  “Easy now,” Shep said, taking him into his arms. “Take it easy. He’s not here. I’m here Cody. I’m here. You’re all right. I won’t let anybody hurt you again, I promise.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yes,” he said. His eyes filled with tears and he held Cody close to his chest. “God, yes. I promise. Never again. You hear me? You’re safe now. You’re safe.”

  TEN

  “I want a warrant to search the house,” Shep stated.

  “Cody’s house? He’ll let you search it but you won’t find anything. I’ve already been through it.”

  “Willard Browning’s house then.”

  “Been through that one too,” Joe said. “I did it myself. We found some porn but nothing illegal. If he’s preying on kids, he’s damn good at hiding it.”

  “Of course he is! Look how long he’s been doing it. You shouldn’t have let him out!”

  “I held Browning as long as I could without charges being filed but the statute of limitations is good. Cody can press charges up to ten years after the age of eighteen. He has to come down here, file the charges and give us his statement.”

  “Can the state do it on his behalf?” Shep asked.

  “I’ll talk to the District Attorney. I’m as mad as you are, Shep but our hands are tied until we get something official.”

  “Let me search the houses again,” Shep said, “There has to be something...”


  “What?”

  “I don’t know but if I can find any evidence...”

  “It happened sixteen years ago.”

  “I have to do something. Let me try,” Shep begged.

  “How’s Cody been? Is he all right?” Joe asked.

  “Yeah, he’s fine. He’s back to acting like nothing happened.”

  Joe sighed. “I thought you knew about this.”

  “How would I know? He never told me.”

  “I thought when you...you know. Hell, you spent the night with him a couple of times. I thought maybe...”

  “You thought wrong.”

  “It’s the other way around?” Joe asked, surprised. “Well I’ll be damned,” he said, studying Shep.

  Shep folded his arms over his chest, defensively. “That’s not your business.”

  “Well, I’m sorry,” Joe apologized. “How would I know what gay men do? I thought I had an idea of how it works but maybe I’m wrong. Either way, I don’t want to find out. I don’t mean to pry into your personal affairs, Shep, but he is my nephew and I care about that boy. If it makes you feel better, go on and look for the evidence but I’m telling you, I didn’t find anything in the house.”

  “I have to do it,” Shep said.

  “Go on then. I’m sure Cody won’t mind. If he does, come on back here and I’ll get you the warrant.”

  The door opened and another Officer came in holding a file. “We got the report back on the hand, Shep. It’s Browning’s.”

  “Willard Browning’s?”

  “Yes Sir.”

  Shep walked over and took the folder from him. “Thank you.”

  “There’s one more thing,” the Officer said. “They lifted some prints from the jar and they didn’t belong to Trudy Sterling.”

  “Whose are they?” Shep asked.

  “They’re a perfect match for George Flynn.”

  “George?” Joe asked, sitting up straight.

  “I guess your brother took his revenge. He must have known it was Browning that raped Cody,” Shep said, looking at the report. “Here. It says here the amputation was as recent as four months ago...”

  “Four months ago? Let me see that,” Joe said.

  Shep placed the open folder in front of Joe, laying it flat on his desk. “Your brother may have waited a long time to get his revenge, but he got it. He took that jar and hid it in Trudy Sterling’s basement after she was dead.”