Sing to Me
Page 23
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A week after Sherry’s funeral, Neal sat on a weight lifting machine inside his father’s home gym and narrowed his eyes at the wall in front of him while listening to Trooper Stevens explain about the murder-suicide that took Sherry’s life.
“I’m sorry,” Jake muttered through the phone. “I thought you knew.”
Absentmindedly working his wounded leg, lifting fifty pounds with each knee bend Neal thought of Liv. She had to have been devastated after having received such horrible news.
“It’s alright,” he said. “How are they holding up?”
While Jake explained about the subtle yet unique aspects of Carmen’s, Noelle’s, and Liv’s behavior, Neal continued to stretch his leg muscles.
Why Liv hadn’t thought to awaken him that night and confide in him was a mystery. Did she not trust him enough to want to lean on him? Did she perhaps think he wouldn’t care or want to get involved?
“What?” Neal whined.
Jake shyly laughed. “I said I finally had sex with Carmen.”
Neal bent both knees and the weights clanked loudly behind him. Mention of sex brought him right back to thoughts of Liv, but then he shook his head and rose from the machine.
“I’m curious,” Neal said on his way to the shower. “What, exactly, do you see in that woman?”
Jake continued to chuckle. “I know,” he groaned. “She’s caustic and unpleasant, but to be honest Neal, it’s what attracted me to her. Well, that and them legs of hers. Her eyes, too. She’s got great eyes, and that hair. You have no idea how many times I fantasized about having that long hair draped across my chest.”
“She practically clawed you to ribbons every time you came around,” Neal grumbled. “Forgive me for being just a tad confused.”
“Right?” Jake laughed. “But, it only added to my attraction. She’s a tough one and not the easiest person to get along with, but there was something there, Neal. I can’t explain it. Something about her made me want to find out more. I was never put off by it. Come to find out there’s a legit excuse why she’s the way she is.”
“Isn’t that always the case with us humans?”
“Right,” Jake chuckled. “Anyway, she met Liv at a psychiatrist’s office. Their therapy appointments started at the same time, so they met inside the waiting room and got to know one another that way. See, Carmen was abused as a child, and then she ended up in a few bad relationships after leaving home. She grew to hate men in general and yet I can sense her need to be loved. She’s like a wounded animal, I think. Lots of love, patience, and understanding in order to bring her back around.”
“You hope,” Neal said, tossing a towel over his shoulder after having stripped bare. “Anyway, good luck with that, and thanks again for filling me in on the awful details.”
“Sure thing.”
Chapter 28
In late-May of the following year, Liv finished a lengthy recording for another of her clients and left the booth smiling as brightly as she had when she first arrived. The sound engineer smiled back, eyeing her above bifocals on a gold chain around her neck.
“That was magnificent,” she said and extended her arms, wanting to give Liv another hug. “You were wonderful as usual.”
“Thank you,” Liv replied, sliding a purse strap over a shoulder.
The engineer set both palms against Liv’s protruding stomach and then gasped with astonishment to feel the baby kick. They both laughed, and while Liv rubbed her stomach, the engineer asked if she was getting enough sleep and remembering to take her vitamins.
“Yes,” Liv said, shyly smiling. Everyone who knew about her condition, including the people who worked at the various shops she frequented in town always asked the same types of questions. They all wished her well and insisted she take down their number just in case. Liv understood their concerns and appreciated their interest, but she felt naïvely confident that Carmen and Noelle would be plenty of help when the time came for her to go to the hospital.
She was in her eighth month and had only recently started to show, but her physician continued to offer good news and healthy update reports. It meant there was no reason for her to have to dwell on anything gloomy for a welcome change.
The drive home was a relaxing one, and Liv couldn’t help but admire the late spring scenery. Dogwood, lilac, forsythia, and redbud blossoms mixed with the glowing chartreuse of budding leaves. A robin’s egg blue sky above the navy and turquoise hues of the big lake made her heart sing. The forest floor across the gravel drive from her home would likely be awash with foxglove, anemone, trillium, and wild columbine.
She would pull garden weeds that afternoon before planting the orange and white alyssum she adored.
“I hope I remember where I stored those hummingbird feeders,” she mumbled and then slowed down to allow a mallard and her ducklings to make their way across the two-lane highway that separated the dunes from dense forest.
“Mommy,” Liv cooed as she sat forward to watch them waddle in front of her jeep. “I hope I’ll be as good a mother as you seem to be.”
She shrieked when the mother duck had turned and honked at her, and then she set a few fingers against her thrumming heart, giggling at the unexpected response. “You’re welcome, dear.”
Looking down at her belly, Liv smiled as she rubbed. “Please don’t turn out to be like me, child. Skittish, skeptical, and silly. Even if you’re a girl, I’d like you to be more like your father; confident, casual, and cool.”
A car horn behind her made Liv scream, and then closing her eyes, she held her breath to control the rapid beat of her heart. Opening her eyes again, she glanced in the rearview mirror to see a blue squad car with its red light flashing.
“Oh no,” she breathed and then screamed again to see a dark blue-clad body beside her door. Rolling down the window while quietly laughing, she looked into Trooper Steven’s smiling blue eyes. “You scared the crap out of me.”
“Is something wrong?”
Liv shook her head and pointed beyond his holster to the mother duck and her seven babies.
Stevens turned just as the last of them disappeared below a sand dune in front of the beach. He smiled at Liv and nodded. “I see,” he said and eyed her stomach before asking how she was feeling.
“I’m fine,” she said, blushing. “Are you going to arrest me for holding up traffic?”
Jake glanced beyond his squad car and then exhaled a quiet laugh, shaking his head. There was no traffic on that lone stretch of road at that time of the day and they both knew it.
“Carmen phoned to say you’d be leaving the studio about now.”
Liv furrowed her brows, making him blush. “I’m pregnant, not incapacitated, Jake.”
“I know that,” he shyly replied while trying not to appear that way to Liv. “I just do what I’m told, ma’am.”
Rolling her eyes, Liv shifted into drive and thanked him for his concern. “When she returns from Fashion Week in Italy, you two have to visit one night. For some reason, I’m in the mood to cook, and I’m starting to run out of freezer space.”
Stevens grinned at her and saluted, assuring her that home-cooked food was as good a reason as any to drop in on an unwed mother.
“Very funny,” Liv groaned, pulling away with Jake’s laughter trailing behind her.
A few days later, the weather proved true to form for the late spring season, starting out sunny and mild with an increase in humidity as the day wore on. Weather reports warned of possible severe storms, and although Liv enjoyed stormy weather, she also hoped to spend a lot of time outdoors.
After dusting every inch of the house for the third time in two days, she waited for the delivery van to arrive. The owner of a woman’s shelter seemed glad to take the two dozen lasagna meals and seven cherry pies off Liv’s hands.
“Nesting, are we?”
Liv curiously eyed the smiling woman as she handed over another box of pies.
“What?”
&
nbsp; “Nesting,” she repeated, taking the box from Liv. “That’s what my mother used to call it anyway. You know; right before a woman gives birth, she starts acting strange by over-cleaning, stock-piling food, and otherwise preparing the nest for a new arrival.”
Liv quietly giggled, embarrassed and amazed to learn something new about her unexpected and strange habits.
“I had no idea there was a name for it,” she breathed. “I just bought ten packages of newborn diapers and six bottles of baby powder,” she told the woman. “Four tubes of diaper rash cream, two six-packs of those adorable onesie outfits, and a dozen tiny baby bottles with cute pictures on them.”
The woman laughed heartily as she set the last box inside the back of her van. After dusting her hands, she patted Liv on the shoulder, wished her luck, and thanked her for the donation.
As she watched the van disappear around a bend in the driveway, Liv turned toward the house when a gust of wind whipped up. Closing her eyes, she spit out the few grains of sand that struck her mouth and wiped her lips.
“Blech,” she mumbled and started down to the beach. The air became warmer as it grew more unstable, and the waves white-capped far out to sea. Along the western horizon, purple clouds began to appear. Looking up at the bright, blue sky with its blazing sun overhead, Liv smiled and headed north on another of her daily afternoon walks.
Even pregnant and on sand, it was never much trouble for Liv to clear a few miles at one stretch since she paced herself by frequently stopping to examine whatever rocks, shells, and driftwood she found.
She wasn’t far from the old B&B situated about three miles from her home when a dog appeared. A big dog. A sleek, dark Doberman was sniffing her behind, and Liv entered panic mode for the first time in a long time.
Slowly, she turned to get a good look at the animal, hoping she might recognize it and be able to exhale.
The young animal backed away while barking, and then it started to leap and bound before her.
“Go away,” she whispered, wanting to use her hands to gesture yet afraid she might lose some fingers if she did. “Leave me alone.”
The dog disobeyed, moving in closer to sniff her crotch and stomach.
Knee-jerk response had Liv using both hands to pry the animal off her when the dog backed away again, its hind end wagging as it barked a bit louder that time. Despite her fear, Liv could sense somehow that the dog wasn’t vicious and behaved more like she was familiar.
“I always wanted a dog,” she thought aloud when the animal jumped and set both front paws against her shoulders. Liv nearly toppled to the beach as the dog slid down the front of her and continued to bark, hunkering down with its backside up. As it leapt side to side and continued to bark, Liv tried to start south, but the dog kept running or bouncing in front of her, making her stop.
“Please go find someone else to pester,” she quietly insisted. “You’re making me nervous.” Glancing around, she couldn’t see anyone to indicate ownership and frowned. “It’s late,” she told the uninterested dog. “A storm is approaching, too. Let me pass.”
She tried to walk again, but the dog still did its thing. Liv walked backwards; northward when she wanted to head south. “Cute, but annoying,” she grumbled and then gently gasped to realize the words reminded her of Neal.
Then, a deep, male voice echoed all around her. The dog whined before it sat before Liv, licking its chops before trying to nudge her forward with its muzzle. She could hear footsteps thumping behind her and was slow to turn and see who it was heading toward her.
The body of a grown man paused beside her, slightly breathless from a quarter mile jog.
“Xalan?” Liv thought and turned to see Neal smiling wryly at the whimpering dog before them. Startled, Liv strained to look away but found herself gazing at him instead. In gray sweat pants and a tank top that appeared form-fitted to his slim yet well-defined body; the pant legs rolled up under his knees, Neal looked every bit as enticing as she remembered. His thick, wavy hair was tied back, yet a few loose strands whipped about his handsome face in the increasing wind.
Liv furrowed both brows to note the thin beard he now sported, appearing to her as if he forgot to shave that morning. Without thinking, she grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her.
“What’s this?” she asked. As soon as Neal took hold of her wrist, Liv realized her mistake and could feel herself shrinking on the inside. “I’m sorry,” she breathed and turned aside, wanting to run and knowing it was impossible even after Neal had let go of her wrist.
“Good to see you again, love.”
Closing her eyes, Liv let the last word he spoke in that deep, sexy voice of his to sink deep inside her heart and felt it flutter. The voice, those eyes, and that touch of his were all part of his combination magic spell on her heart and senses. Oh, how she missed him. How often had she thought about him and wondered if he was fully recovered from his wound, if he was super angry with her still, or if he would ever contact her again after what she did to him back in October.
Opening her eyes and frowning at the waves now crashing to shore, Liv thought please don’t let him hate me.
Chapter 29
Turning to face Neal again, Liv used her free hand to try and push his hand from her wrist. When the grip tightened, she stopped struggling and looked up into his narrowed eyes. There was anger behind them, but it took a few minutes for Liv to recognize the tension that sprung up between them.
“I’m –.” The apology never surfaced. Why should she have to apologize? Why should he be angry with her? Wait. Liv frowned as she shifted her gaze. She did owe him an apology, actually. Looking at Neal again, she opened her mouth to speak, to tell him she was sorry for having walked away without letting him know why when he yanked her body against his.
The arm he slid behind her warmed Liv head to toe even when she wasn’t physically cold. He still held her by the wrist, raising it near his scruffy face and tight smile as he gazed at her with that familiar and tantalizing hungry look of his.
“Please don’t hate me,” she softly uttered.
His lips touched hers, and Liv responded with seven month’s worth of longing. While the dog barked and the baby kicked, Liv slid her fingers through Neal’s hair and held him as if her life depended on it. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized exactly how much she loved and needed this man. If he would still have her, that is.
Neal broke the kiss first, and while Liv stood in a stunned daze, he backed away and turned aside. Slowly, he set a hand behind his head, and then he let out a reserved hiss through clenched teeth.
“Damn you,” he managed before shifting his piercing eyes in Liv’s direction. She could feel the heat of blush on her cheeks and the unwanted sting of tears building up in her eyes, but she remained frozen. “Is that why –.” He stopped quick, unable to gaze at Liv’s stomach for too long. He turned his head and folded his arms at his taut chest, narrowing his eyes against the wind and his seething emotions as he gazed in the direction of the B&B.
“Yes,” Liv said, pouting when Neal glanced at her. “It is.” Her fingers curled tightly at her sides, and she swallowed a painful lump before she continued. “I found out right after Sherry’s funeral. I knew you wouldn’t be pleased, but I had wanted to apologize for the way I left you back in London last fall.”
“Really,” he droned, making her angry and helping to increase the blush on her cheeks. “So, you just decided to let the whole matter go, then. It was that easy for you to walk away and pretend like I never existed.”
She barely shook her head in response, pursing her lips while gazing at him through a blur of unshed tears. Tendrils of hair kept whipping about her face, and she was getting tired of brushing them aside; adding to her mounting anger.
“Xalan!” Neal roared at the barking dog, startling him and Liv. Whimpering, the dog sidled up to Liv and stared at Neal with remorse in his big, dark eyes. Neal pointed to the B&B and snapped his fingers. “Go.”
Whining, the dog glanced at Liv before bowing his head and trotting away.
“Xalan?” Liv asked, forgetting her anger in that moment to gaze with curiosity at the dog. “He’s a dog now?”
She simpered as Neal set both hands atop her shoulders and turned so that they faced one another. Raising her shoulders defensively, she gazed at him the way a worried child might do, and instead of his lecturing her, Neal grinned, startling her.
After wrapping his arms about her and holding her gently against his chest, Neal laughed softly while keeping her hair at bay in the increasing wind.
“You’re so precious to me, Liv,” he quietly admitted. “I can’t stay angry at you for more than five minutes. And, no, it isn’t that Xalan turned into a dog. He gave me the keys to the B&B and asked me to take care of the place for him. The dog was a parting gift from my father.”
“How are you, Neal?” she asked while gazing up at him with concern that made him continue to smile. “Is your thigh completely healed, or do you still –.”
He cut off the rest of her question with another kiss. That time, the baby gave a mighty kick, startling Liv enough to make her eyes bulge. Neal had leaned back to study her pretty face, and while he told her how sorry he was about Sherry, Liv concentrated on the strange changes occurring to her slowly but steadily aching body.
Feeling off-balance, she set a hand atop Neal’s shoulder while cradling the other arm across her belly.
“Liv?” he asked with a hint of concern and a puzzled look. Liv tried to smile and say it was nothing, but then it felt like the baby did a somersault and she fell against Neal’s side in tight-lipped agony.
Without the need of further insight, Neal lifted Liv into his arms and walked steadily but swiftly back to the B&B, carrying her up a long, steep flight of wooden steps until they arrived on the balcony. The Doberman lying in a corner rose up and growled as if to say I told you so to his owner.