Binchy ( 2000 ) Scarlet Feather

by Maeve Binchy

  'No, no I see that.'

  'But I will, I mean this is what I've always wanted. I thought it was what we had always wanted. I would turn sour, be very bitter, we'd have nothing left at all if I were to stay.'

  'You have a very good career at the Bar, you do a lot of good for a lot of people, people like Jonathan.'

  'I can do more on a bigger canvas.'

  'And you'll go alone?'

  'Yes, if I have to. I'm going to go now, before Christmas if I can, and leave it open for you to join me.'

  'That's a non-starter. You know that. I know that. You can't railroad people into things.'

  'Would you ever have come with me?' he asked.

  She thought for a while.

  'I might have, but not until the business was up and running, I had paid back my debts, found someone to replace me.'

  'It mattered as much as that?'

  'Did you think it was a game?'

  'I thought it was something to show my mother you could be a person in your own right. I never thought you needed to prove that to anyone, but honestly, that's all I thought it was.'

  'We'll have to tell her, you know.'

  'Tell her what?'

  'That your plans have changed, that you'll be abroad—we were going there for Christmas.'

  'Yes, I suppose so.'

  Funny, I think that's something that's going to stick in my throat badly, the fact that she was right all those years ago when she said I wasn't right for you.'

  'Cathy…'

  If you don't mind I won't stay for us both to get more upset. We can talk better in the daylight.'

  'Please don't go,' he begged.

  'It's for the best,' said Cathy Scarlet as she packed a bag and left.

  She knew Tom was out with Con doing a rugby club party. There were kitchens at the club, so they would not be coming back here tonight. Before she lay down on the chintz-covered sofa, she left a message on Tom's phone back at his flat.

  'Hope the company doesn't mind, I'm spending a couple of nights on its sofa.'

  Then she went to sleep. When she woke to get a drink of water in the night she saw that a fax had arrived. It said simply, 'The company wishes you sweet dreams.' She knew he would never ask her a question any more than she had ever asked him. Somehow it was very restful.

  She had every sign of her overnight stay carefully removed before anyone came. And as she knew there wouldn't be, there was no comment from Tom Feather. Once or twice he lifted a pot for her, or passed her oven gloves as if he feared she would do herself an injury.

  'Shona said that she wanted to come and have coffee this morning,' she said. 'James will drop by too, and it won't take long.'

  'God, what a morning to choose, we have the heavenly help force with us today.'

  'What?'

  'Had you forgotten? A team of highly skilled polishers have a half-day from school and are heading in this direction, on the invitation of someone who is Just a Boy Who Can't Say No.'

  'Oh, God, Simon and Maud.' She had forgotten.

  'Doesn't matter, the day will end sometime.'

  The twins arrived early. They were wearing their oldest clothes, they said, and could do heavy work.Muttie's wife Lizzie had given them wire scrubbing pads and old toothbrushes for getting into the crevices of things which might have legs.

  'I didn't know what she meant, exactly,' Simon said. 'Like chicken carcases or something.'

  'No, like sauce boats or the handles of things,' Cathy explained.

  'Oh, look, you've got another punchbowl,' Maud said, pleased.

  'It's the same one, actually, look, my name is on the bottom,' Cathy said.

  'How did you find it?' Simon asked. 'Was it here all the time?'

  'No, no, it made a weary journey around the place from black plastic bag to garden shed to one market stall and then another. I bought it back.'

  Then she remembered the twins didn't know of Walter's part in the burglary. She hoped they hadn't made the connection between the garden shed and their brother storing things there. But they were too happy and eager to start their work to notice anything at all. Cathy told them their duties, and stressed the need to keep out of people's way in the kitchen because there was a rush on.

  'Do we have the relaxing hot drink and a scone like we had before when we came?' Simon wondered.

  'Why not?' Cathy said. 'Come on, Tom, let's take five minutes to relax with Maud and Simon.'

  The four of them sat in the front room while the twins told what a success the project had been at school. Everyone loved it, and was very impressed that Cathy was their aunt. Aunt! She would not be their aunt for much longer, when she and Neil divorced. The thought hardly seemed real; she had to run it past herself again. The children chattered on.

  'Do you still have the same code to get in, nineteen and then six?' Maud asked.

  'How on earth did you know that was our code?' Cathy asked, quietly.

  'You told us. Remember, one day when you were driving us back to The Beeches in the van. You were doing a party, and you told us about the ceremony of the keys. What you did each time in the van and where you put them.'

  Cathy could hardly breathe.

  'And did you tell anyone else about it, do you think?'

  'I don't think so,' Simon said. 'No point in telling your code to everyone we meet, some of them might be robbers and come in.'

  'We did tell Walter that night,' Maud said.

  Tom and Cathy let their breath out very slowly.

  'You did?' Tom said, in a deceptively light tone.

  'Yes, you see we had been telling him all about your treasures and polishing them and things, and he said we knew nothing about your business, so just to show him…' explained Maud.

  It doesn't matter, does it?' Simon felt uneasy.

  'No, it doesn't matter,' Cathy said. In fact, it's very good to know that, because a lot of things fall into place.'

  'No, Cathy, you can't ask them,' Tom began.

  'We can, we'll explain,' she said.

  'It's too tough on them. Leave them something to hold onto.'

  'Do you think Walter was your burglar?' Simon asked suddenly.

  'And then that really was your punchbowl in our garden shed?' Maud said, horrified.

  'But Muttie said everything was all broken into little pieces, why would Walter do that?' Simon said.

  'Do you think he did it, Cathy?' Maud asked straight out.

  'I do, yes, Maud.'

  'Why?' she asked.

  'I don't know, maybe he was short of money.'

  'He was always very nice to us, except when we were stupid,' Maud said.

  'I know, I know,' said Cathy.

  'And he did come to find us that time.'

  'Of course he did.' They must be allowed to believe that, at least.

  'Are you very cross with him?' Maud asked.

  'No, not now, but there is something which would help us a lot without getting Walter into any more trouble.'

  'What's that?' They looked at her with anxious eyes.

  Gently Cathy explained that the guards already knew Walter had taken the goods, but didn't know how he had found the code and the keys.

  'You won't get into any trouble,' Tom promised. 'It's my fault, I didn't tell you it was a secret.'

  'And Walter isn't in Ireland anyway, so they can't find him, but it will mean that the insurance company might pay us. Do you mind doing that, telling people? If you do mind, then we'll leave it, but it would be such a great help.'

  They looked at each other. 'We'll tell,' they said.

  And in the middle of one of the busiest mornings that Scarlet Feather had ever known, hours were spent while Maud and Simon Mitchell told James Byrne, then the guards and then an insurance official about the night they had wanted to prove to their brother they knew all about the business. And everyone softened at the obviously true story and the mixed feelings about their big brother, who had crossed Ireland to find them because he knew they were i
n trouble.

  'It's going to help a great deal, believe me, this is what we needed,' James said.

  'What were you going to tell us, Shona?' Tom asked.

  'James?'

  'Hold on a minute. Simon, Maud, do you want to make an extra pound? Could you go down to the newsagent, it's at the end of the street, and buy me an Irish Times.'

  'A whole pound?' Simon said.

  'Should I go on polishing, do you think?' Maud wondered.

  'No, go with him for company,' James said.

  When they were gone, Shona spoke immediately. 'When I was young I was fostered with James and his wife Una in Galway, but I was taken away and brought back to my own home when I was fourteen. We've only just got to know each other again.'

  Cathy and Tom exchanged glances. What else would this day throw at them?

  James spoke in a different voice than usual. 'We were told it was for the best that we didn't make contact. I didn't question it; that's what I blame myself for, not questioning something that felt so wrong, like letting the child we loved go away without begging to have her back.'

  'So now we're making up for lost time, meal after gourmet meal…' She laughed at the teachers who had taught her lost father to cook.

  'And we're going to go away together for a three-week holiday,' James said proudly.

  Tom blew his nose loudly. 'If I hadn't another ten hours' work ahead of me today. I'd say that we all went out and got drunk on this.'

  'In the New Year,' promised James. 'You come round to my flat, I'll cook a Moroccan speciality for you.'

  'Oh, be sure to buy those Tajine dishes and we'll make chicken and prunes and almonds,' Cathy's eyes danced at the thought.

  'Weren't you and Neil going to go there?' James asked.

  'No, that's not going to happen now,' Cathy said, and at that moment the children came back with the paper.

  'Mam, can I have my Christmas dinner here?' Cathy asked.

  'Well, of course you can, but I thought the pair of you were going to Oaklands.'

  'Neil is, Mam, I'm not.'

  'Ah, now, don't tell me you've fought with Mrs Mitchell again, that is very silly at this season of the year.'

  'Mam, sit down, I have to tell you something,' Cathy said.

  'Geraldine, will you be coming to Mam and Dad's on Christmas Day, as usual?' Cathy asked.

  'Yup, that's what us naughty ladies never get to have, Christmas Day with a man. They have this habit of going back to base for the turkey.'

  'I'll be joining you there on my own, and I'm relying on you to keep it all going.'

  'A bad row?'

  'No, a separation. Oddly enough, there have been very few rows.'

  'Well then, why in the name of God? Why don't all those men I know who are in the middle of perfectly dreadful marriages not break up? Why leave it to you and Neil, who fought everything to get married and are so suited in every way.'

  'Not any more, Geraldine. I need him to care about home and us and having a child and about Maud and Simon, and about maybe a dozen or two dozen people; he wants me to care about millions of people and principles and… issues.'

  'You can do both.'

  'Not the way we've been going at it, Geraldine.'

  'Do you love him?'

  'I thought I did, but I don't really. I'm very fond of him, though.'

  'And is there someone else?'

  Cathy laughed aloud. 'Me? I don't have enough time to keep one relationship going, how would I have time for two?'

  'I just wondered.'

  'Well, you wondered wrong.'

  'You're being dangerously calm about it all,' Geraldine said. 'When I think of how you fought Hannah Mitchell and the world to marry Neil.'

  'I know, I think about that too; it's hard to explain, but I get the feeling that I loved the idea of him rather than him himself. Does that make any sense at all?'

  'I know exactly what you're talking about, as it happens.' Cathy looked at her doubtfully. 'You remember the man I told you about, the man from long ago?'

  'Yes?' Cathy said.

  'He doesn't remember me.' She told the story.

  'Of course he remembers you,' Cathy said defensively. 'He just pretended, that's all. How could he not remember you at eighteen, and what happened? Tell me where he is. I'll go in and see him, beat the truth out of him.'

  Geraldine's face was very sad. 'No, dear Cathy, thank you for the vote of confidence. I've said all that to myself over and over. But the truth is he doesn't. I was loving the idea of him, not the reality. I've thought about him for twenty-two years, and he must have hardly thought of me at all.'

  'We'll help each other through Christmas Day,' Cathy promised.

  'Not that it will be hard with that cast,' Geraldine said.

  It wasn't really all that much easier to talk in the daylight, but then Cathy had never really thought it would be. Yet they managed a very creditable performance between them. They spent a few hours sitting peacefully in Waterview and made a list of who would take what.

  'Live here, if you won't come with me. Stay here, it's your home.'

  'It never felt like home. I have too much of St Jarlath's in me to like it. It's too minimalist.' She smiled ruefully when she said it, and so did he.

  In so many ways it seemed quite natural to be sitting there, talking, making mugs of tea. But there was nothing natural, it was like reading lines in a play. They decided to put the house on the market in January; that would give them plenty of time to find a destination for the furniture they wanted. Neil said that there would be no problem in putting his share in a warehouse. Cathy said she would have found somewhere to stay by then. They looked at the pictures. There was the one they'd bought in Greece.

  'Please take it,' she said.

  'No, it was painted for you,' he said.

  'Let's neither of us have it,' she said and it went into the great number of personal items which would find a home with neither Cathy nor Neil. He promised to finish off the insurance business for them and she assured him she didn't want the Volvo, the van was fine. Neither one of them could believe it was real sometimes. Yet they knew that there was no going back.

  'Have you told many people?' Neil asked.

  'Just my Mam and Geraldine really,' she said. 'And you?'

  'Nobody.'

  'The one thing we should really do together is go and see your parents. We owe it to them,' Cathy said. 'I'd really like to go tomorrow evening, about six.'

  'That's fine for me. I will be there, I promise,' he said.

  But of course he wasn't. They had arranged to call in for a visit at six o'clock the following evening. At five, she got a call to say that the meeting was going on.

  'We can't have them sitting there wondering what it is,' she said.

  'You don't have to go today, you can wait until I'm able to come with you.'

  She hung up. She saw Tom looking at her.

  'Thanks,' she said.

  'What for… ?'

  'You know what for, for not asking.'

  'Oh, that's no trouble,' he said, smiling at her. 'You know how dim men are, they wouldn't even know if there was anything to ask about.'

  'Oh, you came in the van,' Hannah said as she answered the door.

  'Neil has the Volvo, he's been held up,' Cathy said, walking straight in the hall door, leaving her scarf and gloves on the hall table and hanging up her coat. She moved into the den, where Jock and Hannah had been sitting.

  'Ah, Cathy, a drink?'

  'Yes please, Jock, a small brandy would be nice. Lovely fire, it's very cold out.'

  'And is Neil not with you?'

  'No, you know the way he always gets tied up at things. Well, today there's a meeting and he sent his apologies.'

  Hannah rushed to defend him. 'He has so many responsibilities, he couldn't drop them for a social call.'

  'It's more than a social call, Hannah, we had something to tell you, but now I'll tell you myself.'

  Jock looked alarmed.
'Nothing wrong, is there?' he asked suddenly.

  Hannah's hand went to her throat.'I know what you're going to tell us, you've come to tell me that you and Neil are going to have a baby!'

  Walter rang the premises, and Tom answered.

  'Er, it was really Cathy I wanted,' he said.

  'I'm sure she'll be overjoyed that you called, Walter,' Tom said. 'But sadly she's not here.'

  'Stop pissing about, Tom, this isn't a joke.'

  'You'd better believe it isn't a joke, Walter.' Tom looked around the premises that the boy had so nearly permanently destroyed.

  'I wanted to ask her a couple of things.'

  'Ask away,' Tom said agreeably.

  'Can you put me on to her?'

  'No, she's not here.'

  'Has The Beeches been sold?'

  'Yes. What else did you want to ask?'

  'The twins, are they okay?'

  'Much more okay than when they had you to keep an eye on them.'

  'Are they with Cathy's parents?'

  'Why?'

  'I wanted to send them a Christmas present. I didn't know the address.'

  'Send them to this address, this is one address you certainly know.'

  'You think you're a comedian.'

  'No, I think I'm a poor fool who actually goes out and works for a living to be able to buy Christmas presents, rather than steal and smash places up for them.'

  'Tell Cathy I rang, anyway.'

  'I will. I don't suppose you'd like to leave a number where she can call you back?'

  'She and half the guards in Ireland,' Walter said. 'Could happen,' Tom said agreeably. 'Wise guy,' said Walter, and hung up.

  Cathy sat for a moment and looked at her parents-in-law. It wasn't fair to keep them dangling, waiting about something as big as this.

  'It's nothing like that at all. I came to tell you that Neil and I will not be spending Christmas here. He is taking this overseas job that he mentioned to you before and I'm not going with him, so he won't even be in Ireland for Christmas and under the circumstances I will go to my parents in St Jarlath's.'

  They looked at her open-mouthed.