Hopeless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series)

by Rachel Higginson

  11.

  "Morning," Avalon grunted to me on the way back from the bathroom.

  "Mmmm-hmmm...." I responded sleepily. I rubbed at my face and walked bleary-eyed towards the direction Avalon was coming from.

  I was exhausted from last night. The assassin's dark and ominous face was still burned in my memory and I shivered as I brushed my teeth. I wrapped one arm around myself and stared confused at my ragged reflection in the mirror. Who was the girl staring back at me?

  My hair was a tangled mess of impossible curls, extra frizzy from going to bed with them wet. Showering last night was a non-issue after coming home caked in dirt, grime, blood and the filthy feeling of being so near such a possessive evil. My eyes were clear of makeup and my face washed out and paler than normal. I looked ten years older at least; I half checked my head for grays.

  I felt worse than even ten years older, more like thirty. I reminded myself I was only sixteen, my birthday was still four months away; but over the last three months I felt as though I had aged well beyond my decade and a half of life.

  Shoudn't I be more concerned with shopping and cheer-leading than with civil wars and living for eternity? For someone who was supposed to have immortal life, I have spent most of my time trying not to die.

  The thing was, as cool as the whole magic and immortality life was, I could have been equally as happy living a normal life and dying of old age, or dying really, at any age. When I thought I was human, I accepted that death was a part of life; like Kiran once told me, when there was a cost to living, living became that much more significant.

  Now that I seemingly had the rest of eternity to live, my life was threatened at every turn. I didn't know many other high school girls fighting assassins and bounty hunters, and hiding from kings. Even Avalon couldn't relate, although thanks to the connection he could at least empathize, although not by choice. But even still, he chose his path in this life, and not only that, no one had signaled him out so universally.

  Maybe I was just being a drama queen, but I didn't ask to carry the weight of an entire race on my shoulders. I didn't ask to be so powerful or so significant. I had always been happy fading into the background. Where was the normality to this life? The security and sense of safety? I was going to give myself a heart attack from paranoia.

  I couldn't even stay home from school today. Last night I fought a nasty battle, where my life was practically taken from me. I may have won, but it was at a terrible price. I thought that justified taking a personal day.

  Nobody else thought so though. The powers that be, namely, Amory, Jericho and Avalon didn't want to raise suspicion. If I were to stay home, questions would be raised.... People would be sent to look for me.... Actions would be taken.... And so forth and so on. When Amory came over late last night, he informed me that as of right now, nobody knew what had happened to me or the other guy. Whoever sent the attacker could still be hoping for the best, still be hoping that I was dead. If I showed up at school today as if nothing happened, and clearly I survived, that would send a message.

  I wasn't sure I actually wanted to send a message. Especially not a threatening-it's you're move, what are you going to do about it now kind of message. I might as well have worn a t-shirt that said something like, "Hey bad guys, I'm here, I'm fine, no worries. I'll be ready whenever you want to, you know, try to kill me again."

  A knock on the door brought me out of my internal rant. I could sense the magic from the other side of the door and realized that it was Jericho. After doing who knew what with the idiot who tried to kill me, he was assigned house duty here with Avalon. It was Amory's idea of upping security.

  "I'll be out in a sec," I mumbled gruffly, working on the knots in my hair. And then saying, "Screw it," I threw my hair into a high bun, wrapping it impossibly through a hair tie over and over again until it was secure. I contemplated going sans makeup as well, but decided against it for the sake of all decency.

  Smearing on some thick, black eyeliner and charcoal eye shadow, and topping it off with some lash-extending mascara, I looked goth chic and was kind of digging the style. My onyx eyes gave me a wild, dark appearance and a feral feeling swept over me. Finishing the look with a deep, scarlet lip gloss, I called it good and opened the door for Jericho.

  "Sorry," I grunted, taking in his expression while his eyes swept over me. "It's all yours." Jericho stood in the doorway, blocking my path. I could tell he was not quite sure what to make of my gothic appearance.

  "No problem," he stood there still, unmoving, staring into my eyes.

  "Hey, um, thanks for finding me last night," I put all of my weight onto one leg, fidgeting nervously.

  "Avalon's really the one who found you. I just, um, I didn't know what he would find when he found you. You really scared me, um, us. You really scared us," he repeated, his voice breathy.He smiled shyly before taking a step forward, as if he were trying to get into the bathroom but then remembered I was in the way. He stopped suddenly, but didn't attempt to take a step backwards.

  "Well, thank you anyways. I wasn't sure what would happen to me either," I said quietly, realizing I didn't mind his closeness.

  "It's just, you're really important to me, I mean the Resistance. You're really important to the Resistance," his voice trailed off and I watched him swallow strongly. I stared at him for a moment, realizing I owed him a lot.

  "Eden, we're going to be late," Avalon called too loudly from the top of the stairs. I jerked out of my thoughts and gave Jericho an apologetic smile.

  I brushed past him, and when our magic met, his was strong and pulsing. He didn't move back, leaving me little room to move by him. A blush rose to my cheeks and I began to think I didn't understand Jericho anymore than I did any other boy. Didn't he want nothing to do with me only a few days ago?

  The ride to school with Avalon was quiet, we were both lost in our own thoughts and shared consciousness. Avalon was deeply worried about me, and his anxiety was rubbing off on my already frayed nerves. He pretty much wanted to keep me shut in the house, surrounded by armed guards and all sorts of magical protection charms.

  Although I felt he was over-reacting, I realized along with him, that this attack was only the beginning. After last night, I believed Avalon would never leave my side again, but the thought of putting him in danger made me sick to my stomach. My brother, my twin, half of the only family I had, the other half of the future of the Resistance.... I couldn't bare it if something happened to him.

  Nothing is going to happen to me. Avalon growled defiantly in my head. "Nothing's going to happen to you either," he finished out loud as he pulled into a parking space at school.

  We left the car silently, both purposing in our hearts to make Avalon's statements come true. I would let nothing happen to my brother, of that much I could be sure. And I knew without a doubt that he would let nothing happen to me.

  We walked into the English and Drama Building quickly. The November air was frigid and the icy rain from yesterday hadn't let up. I shook the sleet off of my shoulder, not bothering to use magic. Ever since the assassin's magic had become part of my own, I could not bring myself to use it. The energy was building up inside of me and making me edgy and irritable, but still I refused to use what was not mine.

  "Come here. I need to talk to you," Kiran walked past me, his harsh whisper beckoning me into the theater. At first I rebuffed his direct command, but when I glanced into his eyes, the concern was etched so deep that my heart instantly filled with longing.

  I walked over to him and we entered the theater silently. Talbott was already inside the dark room and I would normally be irritated with this, except my own bodyguard in the form of Avalon had followed me as well. Talbott and Avalon stared each other down and despite my melancholy mood, I found their competition and animosity entertaining.

  "Are you alright?" Kiran's whisper had softened and he pulled me into his arms. My body willingly molded into his strong embrace and I inhaled his scent. Kiran's
closeness instantly calmed my frayed nerves, my head seemed clearer and my muscles began to relax.

  The only difficulty in being wrapped in his arms was his frenetic and intrusive magic. Our magics were so used to finding each other, to mingling together, that Kiran's magic was desperately seeking mine. I refused to unleash my own; I refused to taint Kiran's magic with the evil and sinister electricity from last night's attacker.

  "No," I mumbled truthfully and a lone tear fell slowly down my cheek.

  "I'm so sorry, Love, I am so sorry," Kiran's voice cracked from emotion as if it were his fault and my shoulders felt the weight once again of the burden I carried.

  "Will there be another one?" I asked, lifting my head off his chest and searching his turquoise eyes for truth.

  "I don't know," I knew he was answering truthfully, but deep down I knew that there would be one. Voicing the question out loud gave me false hope, the true answer was already ringing loudly in my ears. "He wasn't sent by my father, he acted on his own accord," Kiran looked directly into my eyes and I wanted to believe him. I knew he believed what he was saying, but I couldn't.

  "You can't be serious," Avalon blurted out incredulously.

  "Don't start," Talbott growled a warning.

  "No. You don't start," Avalon replied menacingly. "How can you say that he acted on his own? He is one of Cartier's personal guard."

  "How can you possibly know that?" Talbott was suspicious, making Avalon hesitate speaking again.

  "Sebastian explained to me the circumstances and I can find no fault with him," Kiran stood up straighter, inadvertently drawing further away from me. "He asked Beckton to walk you home, after you left the club. He didn't want you to walk back to your car alone. His intentions were completely blameless. Beckton must have been at the trial, he must have put the pieces together on his own. Trust me. This was not my father, nor was it Sebastian," Kiran rubbed his hand against my back, but I found no comfort in the gesture. I felt instead, patronized and I was not happy about it.

  Avalon began to defend me, but I cut him off. "Kiran, he was waiting for me. He was hiding in the shadows waiting. He knew exactly who I was and that I would be alone. He tried to kill me.... He tried to kill me," I said every word carefully and pointedly.

  "It doesn't matter now," Kiran said quickly, pulling me into his arms again. "He is being taken care of, I have seen to that."

  "Wait.... Where is he?" I asked, confused. I thought I saw Jericho drive away with him.

  "After I picked you up Eden, Amory relayed everything to Kiran and handed Beckton over to Kiran's guard," Avalon explained quickly, so I did not give anything away about Jericho. He made it clear in our shared thoughts to leave as much about any other member of the Resistance out.

  "He will never hurt you again," Kiran whispered soothingly, hugging me tighter.

  "He can't hurt anyone again; he doesn't have any magic left," I mumbled, outraged by the thought of him and irritated by the others around me. Wasn't I the one who took care of him? Wasn't I the one who had made sure he could never hurt anyone else again?

  "I really wish you wouldn't have done that," Kiran's comment surprised me and I drew back, defensive.

  "What do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes in suspicion, a feeling of resentment washed over me and I was unsure what to make of my reaction to the love of my life.

  "It's just that, when you do things like that, you draw unnecessary attention to the strength of your power. Now we either have to explain why a sixteen year old girl can drain a trained and vetted Titan guard or we have to hide all of the evidence altogether. Either scenario is extremely difficult, and both could result in dire consequences," his eyes pled with me to return to his arms, but his words were spoken so insensitively and matter-of-factly that I had trouble actually comprehending them.

  "Kiran, he tried to kill me. He nearly succeeded. A couple of times actually. What was I supposed to do? Just walk away? He wanted me dead and if I hadn't taken every last ounce of his magic, everything that made that possible, I wouldn't be standing here today," I watched Kiran open his mouth as if to explain himself but I had had enough. I was not bait for either side of this damn civil war to take advantage of. I was a person, a person who was just figuring this whole freaking thing out and my magic was ready to explode thanks to those yahoos and their excessively emotional states. I was the one who should be over emotional, I was the one who should have been arguing and demanding explanations. I had had enough.

  I turned around, fed up with all of them and stormed through the double doors leading back into the lobby of the building. I could feel all three boys close on my heels and if it weren't for Sebastian standing just a few feet from my point of exit I would have left them all in my dust on the way to class. As it were however, I had to stop and face the idiot probably responsible for my near death experience last night.

  "What?" I shouted, not at all surprised to find him spying on us. The boys all skidded to a halt behind me, clearly more unnerved by his presence than I was.

  "I'm sorry to interrupt," Sebastian said snidely, obviously proud of himself for catching us in the middle of something. I crossed my arms defiantly and glared at him until he eventually continued. "Eden, it has come to King Lucan's attention that you were raised human, and that you have just recently been introduced into Immortal society."

  "And?" I asked rudely, my tone full of venom.

  "Well, if that is indeed the case, then it would seem you haven't experienced the Eternal Walk," he continued as if I were lying about being raised by humans. I could assure him that this was one of the only things I had been completely honest about. "Lucan has ordered that you follow through with this rite of passage as soon as possible. Preparations have already begun to be made."

  Personally I had absolutely no idea what Sebastian was talking about, but the reaction I felt inside of Avalon made every one of my hairs stand on end. Avalon reacted with such fear and trepidation that whatever this Eternal Walk was, had Avalon scared out of his mind.

  Kiran instinctively put a hand on my shoulder and I felt his fingers shake where they lay. Despite the boys reaction, I frankly, had had enough. I didn't know what the Eternal Walk was and that pissed me off. I was tired of hiding my relationship with Kiran and my identity from the rest of the world and that pissed me off.

  I let out a scream of frustration I couldn't control and finally the magic I had been holding on to all morning rushed out of me. I had reached a breaking point in sanity, the internalized magic arrived at it's full and powerful limits in the glass of all of the doors and windows of the lobby. Glass shattered all around us in one electric pulse of energy.

  I didn't bother with feeling guilty or ashamed, but walked straight past Sebastian and up the stairs towards English, my clogs crunching on broken glass the entire way. Those four boys had made a mess of my life and so they could be the ones to clean up the mess in the lobby, for all I cared. At least Mr. Lambert wouldn't be yelling at me for being late today.

  12.

  "Ms. Matthews, you're presence is requested in the principal's office," Ms. Woodsen spoke softly and delicately, despite her wild appearance, to me before I could reach the entrance to Drama. I smiled graciously and turned around on my heel.

  Fighting through the pressing crowd of my classmates, I came out on the other side relieved. Drama was not my forte, to say the least, and I wasn't exactly emotionally prepared to work on dramatic prose this morning. I'd had enough drama in my life to satisfy the most avid attention seekers, I could easily go without a peer group of judgmental adolescents all bent on my literal destruction.

  In the lobby of the English and Drama Building, men had already been called to repair the broken glass. The marbled floor was pristinely clean and the window sills wiped and waiting for new panes to be installed. I smiled to myself, content with the gratifying feeling of destroying something and walked through the crew of men working without a single hint of guilt.

  I made my way across
campus quickly, the November air was frigid and windy. The Nebraska sky had ceased to send soft, refreshing rain and was now in a steady state of spitting ice. I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head, an accessory that had now become my constant companion.

  Mrs. Truance nodded her head in disdained approval on my way to the staircase leading up to Amory's office. I grudgingly used my magic, to dry my clogs and coat before entering "Principal Saint's" office without knocking. Amory would not have been pleased if he knew I was withholding my energy for the simple sake that I could. He would have been even more upset if he knew how I dispelled the built-up electricity this morning.

  "Eden," he gasped upon my arrival, standing at his desk shuffling papers. I rushed to his arms and he held me tightly to him.

  Suddenly I burst into sobbing tears, soaking his expensive tweed suit jacket. I felt foolish and childlike. I might have been able to hold in my magic, but my emotions had overtaken me.

  "There, there," he soothed, rubbing my back. His deep, melodic voice reached to my soul and I had never been more relieved to be in my grandfather's calming presence.

  "They're never going to stop are they? They are never going to stop and I'm going to have to keep hurting them!" I wailed, my sweeter emotions overtaking my fear and anger.

  "Oh, Eden," I heard Amory's voice break and he hugged me tighter.

  My sobbing continued for several more minutes. Amory's magic wrapped around me, doing its best to comfort and calm me. I felt as though I was past the point however. Eventually my tears stopped and my shaking subsided. I stepped back, wiping my face with the sleeve of my pressed white uniform shirt.

  Amory coughed forcefully, ridding his voice of any emotion before gesturing with his hand for me to sit. I obeyed, sitting with my legs beneath me in one of Amory's comfortable leather chairs opposite his expansive desk. He also took a seat in his own high-backed leather chair.

  "I'm sorry about the windows," I mumbled glumly, sniffing and unable to look Amory in his eyes.