I Can't Let Go

by Chenell Parker

  “Kimora! Open the door and stop playing!” Tino yelled.

  “Calm down bruh. Dirty and Miko are sleeping,” Bryson noted.

  “I don’t give a fuck. I’m bout to kick this bitch down if she don’t open it. Kimora! Don’t make me fuck up your sister’s house. Open this door,” Tino ordered.

  “Go back to that golden girl Venus. Fuck away from this door!” Kimora yelled.

  “Man, I don’t want no damn Venus. You should know that after two years!” Tino yelled, prompting her to open the door to face him.

  “I can’t tell since I watched you ignore my calls while you stood there and talked to her,” Kimora pointed out.

  “It wasn’t even like that. Her stupid ass was trying to be messy and that’s the only reason why I didn’t answer. I was about to leave to come home,” Tino swore.

  “I don’t want to hear that shit. That ancient bitch is always around and she’s always smiling up in your face,” Kimora noted.

  “That don’t have nothing to do with me, Kimora. You act like I be inviting her to shit. That be Zoe and Simone with that. And I’m always with you so how can anybody smile in my face,” Tino said, trying to plead his case.

  “You got these hoes out here getting bold enough to step to me but you got me fucked up. Bitch showing me a tattoo of your name in her chest and shit. Fuck you, Tino! You playing games that I don’t have time for,” Kimora argued.

  “Marisa! Are you serious? I barely even see that bitch anywhere. She got that tattoo years ago before I even knew you. This shit is crazy,” Tino said. Marisa was in her feelings because he stopped fucking with her when he got with Kimora. He didn’t know why she felt the need to approach his girl but he had something for her messy ass.

  By now, Miko and Dirty were out of their room standing in the hall with Bryson and his girlfriend. As much as Bryson used to like Kimora before, he was happy that Tino got her first. He didn’t know what the hell she had done to his cousin but he didn’t want no parts of it.

  “Yeah and you’re crazy if you think I believe anything that you’re saying. The keys are on the dresser and your car is in the driveway. I’m done. Go be with both of them hoes if you want to. I no longer give a fuck.” Kimora frowned.

  “Well, fuck it then. I’m just bout’ to kill myself. You don’t want me, then I don’t even need to live no more,” Tino said as he paced up and down the hall like a crazy person.

  “Calm down cuz,” Dirty said.

  “No man, I don’t even give a fuck no more. I’m just going home and kill myself. On God, y’all better not let her ass come to my funeral either,” Tino cried as he pounded his fist in his open palm.

  “I don’t wanna come. Let them other hoes come cry over you,” Kimora said.

  “Bitch!” Tino said as he tried to charge at her.

  “Relax bruh,” Dirty said as he held Tino back. He was losing it but he was used to it now.

  “Come on sis. Go back in the room,” Miko said as she walked over to her.

  “She don’t give a fuck if I die. You don’t love a nigga. You never did,” Tino said with tears pouring down his face.

  “You don’t love me either!” Kimora yelled as Miko led her into the bedroom and closed the door. Tino was still in the hall acting a fool but Dirty knew how to handle him.

  “Y’all with this toxic ass relationship is driving me crazy,” Miko said as she got into the bed and laid next to her sister.

  Never in a million years did she think that Tino and Kimora would be that crazy together. If she did, she would have discouraged them from even going there with each other. He was always threatening to commit suicide and he cried more than Kimora did.

  After a while, things were quiet but that was to be expected too. Miko was drifting off to sleep when the door opened and closed. She felt a dip in the bed before she heard Tino’s voice.

  “Baby, wake up and talk to me. Kimora, please. I’m sorry baby. Wake up and talk to me,” Tino whispered as he wedged himself in between Kimora and Miko.

  “Leave me alone Santino,” Kimora said.

  “Baby no, I can’t leave you alone. I’m sorry that I didn’t answer the phone,” Tino replied.

  “I don’t want to talk to you right now,” Kimora noted.

  “Please don’t do this to me, Kimora. I’m losing my fucking mind. Don’t leave me baby, please, I’m begging you,” Tino whined, getting on Miko’s nerves.

  “I’m not leaving you, but I’m pissed,” Kimora replied.

  “Hold me baby. I can’t go to sleep without you,” Tino said.

  “Please shut up and go to bed,” Miko begged them.

  “I need you baby. Kiss me,” Tino said as he pulled Kimora closer to him. Miko wanted to gag when she heard the smacking sounds that they were making as they hugged and kissed like she wasn’t right there.

  “Stop pissing me off Santino,” Kimora warned him.

  “I am baby, I promise. I love you,” Tino said.

  “I love you too,” Kimora replied.

  “Are y’all serious right now? Y’all do this bullshit every few months and for what? And don’t even try to leave. Y’all are treating me and my man to breakfast in the morning and giving us a ride to the boat. This shit is crazy,” Miko fussed as she walked out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

  “I think they’re getting sick of us,” Kimora laughed.

  “No matter what the people say, I’m gonna love you anyway, you are my life. I can’t let go,” Tino sang as Kimora giggled.

  He sounded horrible but Anthony Hamilton’s hit jam, ‘I can’t let go’, was their song. Well, it was the song that he said best described how he felt about her. He had that same song set for her ringtone and he played it for her every time they were in the car together. He was always singing it to her, and she sometimes joined in.

  “Sorry about your car,” Kimora apologized.

  “Fuck that car. It can be replaced,” Tino replied.

  He rubbed his nose against hers and sighed in contentment. He was sure that Miko and Dirty weren’t the only one who were tired of them but he didn’t give a fuck. His heart didn’t beat right without Kimora and he wasn’t ashamed to admit that. She was going to be his wife and he was ready to make it happen sooner than she thought.

  “H ol’ up, time out!” Tino yelled as he stopped dribbling the ball. He bent down to grab his ringing phone from his sock and answered for Kimora. After what happened two months ago, he wasn’t taking any chances by letting another one of her calls go unanswered while he played ball.

  “Nah man, fuck that. You can’t stop the game because your girl is calling,” Ramon argued.

  “Watch me,” Tino said.

  “Throw me the ball man!” Ramon yelled.

  “Come get it,” Tino challenged.

  “Relax lil bro,” Ronald said when he saw Ramon heading in their cousin’s direction. He knew that it was only a matter of time before the two of them traded blows, but he wasn’t trying to see that happen. They were family and it wasn’t that serious.

  “Let that man talk to his wife. I need some water anyway,” Dirty said as he walked over to the table where their shirts and water sat.

  “What’s up wifey?” Tino asked when he answered the phone.

  “Hey boo, I’m done at the hair salon,” Kimora said.

  “Alright, our game is almost over and I’ll be there right after. Find me something to wear baby,” Tino replied.

  “Okay boo, I love you,” Kimora said.

  “I love you too baby,” Tino replied before he hung up.

  “You done nigga? Can the game resume now? Shit, it seems like the world revolves around you, so I have to make sure,” Ramon asked, sounding salty.

  “You cramping or something nigga? You act like you bleeding around this bitch,” Tino said as he picked up the ball and dribbled it between his legs.

  Dirty came back to the court and the game resumed. Tino was always extra when they played ball but they were all used t
o it. The nigga was good and he bragged a lot, but it was always entertaining. Just like always, Ramon was in his feelings and acting like a bitch. Tino drove him crazy when he didn’t give him the reaction that he was looking for and that only made him madder. As crazy as Tino could be, he didn’t let Ramon get to him like most people would have.

  “Damn man, I need to stop smoking so much,” Dirty said as he sat on the ground trying to catch his breath. The game was over and he didn’t even give a damn that he lost. They all had to pay one hundred dollars to the winner and Tino was walking away five hundred dollars richer. Besides him, Bryson, Ronald, Ramon and their uncle Corey had to pay up.

  “Don’t blame it on the blunts nigga. You just can’t fuck with me on the court,” Tino laughed.

  “Shit, I ain’t even trying to deny it. You got skills cuz,” Dirty admitted.

  “Well, my girl is five hundred dollars richer so I gotta get going now,” Tino said.

  “Aye cuz, I know you got plans today but we need to hook up tomorrow,” Bryson said.

  He was the only one of them who sold weed and he got that from Tino too. Tino didn’t really fuck with outsiders, so Bryson often made side deals and charged a little extra for the product. It didn’t matter to Tino, just as long as he got paid.

  “My baby got me on lock for the weekend. We can hook up Monday though,” Tino replied.

  “Alright, that’s cool.” Bryson nodded.

  “Monday! I need to get at you too and I can’t wait that long,” Ramon fussed.

  “You really don’t have a choice,” Tino replied.

  “Man, this is some straight up bullshit!” Ramon barked angrily.

  “You need to calm the fuck down bruh. It’s always some shit with you. Nigga don’t have to move when you say move.” Dirty frowned. Ramon was starting to piss him off with all that bitching and he couldn’t believe how calm Tino was being with him.

  “Fuck that! This ain’t Kimora’s business; it’s his. How the fuck he let her call the shots on when we can get money?” Ramon barked angrily.

  “I’ve been ignoring your bitching and complaining for years but don’t let that shit fool you. Say what the fuck you want about me but keep Kimora’s name out of your mouth,” Tino warned.

  “The fuck out my face with that dumb shit. Y’all be so quick to talk shit about Venus but she ain’t the only one that keeps it in the family,” Ramon blurted out.

  “You going too muthafucking far now nigga. Walk away and shut the fuck up,” Dirty warned as he stood up and mugged his cousin. Tino would murder him with his bare hands if he didn’t shut up and they all knew it.

  “Nah, don’t walk away nigga. Say what you have to say,” Tino ordered.

  “I don’t have nothing to say fam. I’m good,” Ramon laughed like something was funny.

  “Let’s just all calm down and relax,” Corey said but Tino wasn’t trying to hear it. He was in a zone as he rushed Ramon and started throwing jabs at him.

  “You fucked my bitch nigga? Huh? That’s what you trying to say?” Tino fumed as he slammed his fist into his cousin’s face in a fit of rage. Ramon was swinging back but his licks felt like love taps. Dirty and Corey were trying to break them up, but Tino was too strong. Corey gave up when he caught a jab to the face but Ronald stepped in.

  “Chill out cuz. Come on man. We’re family,” Ronald said as he and Dirty succeeded in pulling them apart.

  “Fuck that family bullshit! Why you so quiet now? You always got some slick shit to say. Let your fists do the talking nigga. Square up bitch!” Tino fumed as he tried to break away from the hold that Dirty and Ronald had him in.

  “Don’t get mad at me nigga. I didn’t touch your bitch. Ask Bryson if he can say the same thing though,” Ramon laughed, knowing that he was getting under Tino’s skin. He just didn’t get enough. Tino had fucked him up and he was still provoking him.

  “Keep my name out of this shit man,” Bryson said.

  “Why, when it’s true? All these niggas know what’s up. I’m the only nigga that got enough heart to speak on it though. Keep it real Bryson. You had her before he did!” Ramon yelled, making Tino look over at Bryson.

  He knew for a fact that he was Kimora’s first but the wheels in his head were turning. He didn’t want to believe that Kimora had fucked one of his cousins once they got together. That would literally kill him and she knew that. Still, he knew that it wouldn’t be enough to make him leave her. He didn’t think anything could make that happen.

  “Speak up Bryson. What’s good?” Tino asked him.

  “This don’t have nothing to do with me bruh,” Bryson said nervously.

  One thing stood out to Tino and he was heated. Bryson said that he didn’t have anything to do with it but he never denied it. Before long, Tino had pulled away again and was swinging on Bryson. His cousin hit the ground after the first two licks but that didn’t stop him from swinging.

  “Calm down bruh,” Corey said as he dived on top of Tino and pinned him to the ground. Bryson’s mouth was bloodied and his eye was throbbing. Ramon’s eye was almost swollen shut but that was good for his ass. He started all the bullshit and got his ass stomped for acting like a bitch.

  “Get the fuck off me!” Tino yelled as he used his strength to push his uncle away.

  As far as he was concerned, all of them were the enemies and none of them could be trusted. He wanted to swing on all them niggas but he stormed off to his car instead. He couldn’t wait to get home to confront Kimora with her sneaky ass. Tino was driving reckless as hell trying to get to her as soon as possible. When he pulled up to their house, he barely turned the car off before he jumped out of it and rushed to the front door. He took the stairs two at a time getting to their bedroom and he found Kimora lounging in their bed when he did.

  “Hey baby. I laid your clothes out for you,” she smiled. Instead of smiling back, Tino rushed up to her and pulled her up by her shirt. Kimora gasped in shock because she wasn’t expecting that reaction.

  “You fucked my cousin!” he yelled as she kicked her legs and swung at him.

  “Put me down! What the fuck are you talking about?” Kimora asked, right before he threw her back on the bed.

  “You out here being a hoe and got me looking stupid in front of my family. I should beat your sneaky ass in here,” Tino fumed as he went at her again. Kimora jumped up and ran on the other side of the room.

  “Are you insane? You’re the only man that I’ve ever had sex with,” she assured him.

  “So, nothing ever happened between you and Bryson?” Tino asked as his chest heaved up and down rapidly. Kimora had never seen him look so angry before and she was kind of scared.

  She looked down at the floor before answering, “I never had sex with him.”

  “Bitch! You can’t even look at me when you talk. Lying ass hoe,” Tino yelled as he approached her again. Kimora was running around the room, trying to stay out of his grasp.

  “Hoe? Nigga, fuck you! I didn’t have sex with him. That trash ass head that he gave me happened three years ago and you weren’t even my man,” Kimora pointed out.

  “You let the nigga go down on you?” Tino asked angrily. He loved his cousin but, at that moment, he wanted him dead. Having anybody else see a part of her that he was only privileged to see had him enraged.

  “That was three years ago Santino. You weren’t my man and nothing happened since then,” Kimora swore.

  “You got me out here putting you on a fucking pedestal knowing that you ain’t shit. Who else in my family got a taste of you? Let me know now so I don’t have any more surprises later,” Tino fumed.

  “Fuck you Santino. You think I’m about to stand here and let you disrespect me. I’m leaving,” Kimora cried as she pushed past him and walked into their closet.

  “You think I give a fuck if you leave! I’m out here looking dumb as fuck because of you. Get the fuck out if that’s what you wanna do. I’m not stopping you,” Tino yelled.

  He watched
as Kimora grabbed her phone before she walked back into the closet. She grabbed her suitcases and started grabbing stuff from her drawers, filling them up.

  “Come get me Miko. I’m packing my shit right now,” she cried into the phone as she threw her things into the suitcase.

  “Fuck!” Tino yelled before he punched a hole into the wall and stormed out of the room. His hand was throbbing but it was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

  “That bastard just punched a hole in the wall. Come get me,” Kimora sniffled as she talked on the phone with her sister.