I Can't Let Go

by Chenell Parker

  “Bryson just took some burgers off the grill. You want one?” Miko asked her.

  “I want two,” Kimora replied, making her laugh.

  “Can I go jump mommy?” Tina asked as she pointed to the spacewalk.

  “Yeah but leave your shoes here with me and don’t go anywhere else. I can see you from right here,” Kimora replied.

  “Okay,” Tina happily agreed. She put Winter in her stroller and pushed her next to Kimora before she ran away. Bryson’s girlfriend was there with her two nieces, so Tina was happy to have somebody to play with.

  “I’m too young to be a grandmother,” Kimora laughed as she looked at Winter lounging in her stroller.

  Once Tino came back, Kimora sat in her chair and ate the food that Miko had fixed for her. A short time later, the park was getting crowded as more people came and joined them. Corey and Ced had the boiling pots going and Nita was helping fix the plates. Kimora laughed when Prince and Autumn showed up because he was just as extra as Tino. Autumn didn’t have a chair but she had a pillow to sit on and her own personal fan. She was four months and just found out that she was having a girl. She and Prince decided to give their relationship another try and he was excited about having his first daughter.

  “How are things between you and Autumn?” Kimora asked when Autumn got up to go talk to Miko.

  “We’re good and drama free for once. Man, I never thought that running the streets and chasing hoes would get old, but I’m good on that. I’ve been on the move all my life. It feels good to finally settle down and just be content,” Prince replied.

  “I’m happy for you, friend. I haven’t seen you this happy since you lost your virginity to those two college hoes,” Kimora laughed.

  “Yeah man, I been a dog long enough. It’s time for me to turn in my leash,” Prince replied.

  “That’s what’s up,” Kimora said, right as Tino came over and took a seat next to her.

  “You good baby? Are you ready to eat again?” Tino asked while kissing her face and neck. Years had passed but his affection for her remained the same. Tino didn’t care who was around. He loved public displays of affection with his wife.

  “I’m good on food but I need something to drink,” Kimora answered.

  Her cravings seemed to switch up every other week and she had been on an apple juice kick for the past week. There was only one brand that she liked and Tino had the house filled with the glass bottled beverages. Tino even packed up a few of them for her to have at the park. He reached into her ice chest and grabbed her one before he got up to check on their daughter. Kimora downed the first bottle and got up to get another, right as a group of men walked up and spoke. Dirty obviously knew them because he walked over to greet them.

  “Happy birthday nigga. You getting old as fuck,” one of the men said, making Kimora’s heart drop in her chest. Her hand shook nervously and the glass bottle of juice that she was holding fell and shattered into pieces.

  “What’s wrong sis? You good?” Dirty asked, right as Tino rushed over.

  “You okay baby? What happened?” he questioned while looking at his wife.

  “That’s him,” Kimora whispered.

  “Who baby? Who is him?” Tino asked in a low tone.

  “That’s one of the men who came in the house that night when you got shot. Don’t look Tino!” Kimora whispered in panic when she saw her husband about to look in the other man’s direction.

  “Are you sure?” Tino asked her.

  “Baby, yes. I told you that I’ll never forget their voices as long as I live. Oh, my God. What is he doing here? Do you know him? How does Dirty know him?” Kimora asked in a panic. She felt like she was about to start hyperventilating and Tino couldn’t have that.

  “Kimora, look at me baby. I need you to relax for me. You can’t let them see that something is wrong. Take a deep breath and calm down,” Tino instructed.

  “Okay.” Kimora nodded as she inhaled and exhaled a few times.

  “Now, kiss me and smile like everything is okay,” he said.

  Kimora did as he instructed and pressed her lips up to his. When they pulled away, she smiled as if nothing was wrong.

  “You okay boo?” Miko walked over and asked.

  “Yeah girl, my hands are just slippery,” Kimora chuckled.

  She and Tino sat down and talked quietly amongst themselves. When the other man who Dirty was talking to opened his mouth, Kimora clearly remembered his voice too. She had nightmares about those voices and she would go to her grave knowing exactly how they sounded. When she finally got a good look at both men, she knew that they had to be related. They looked too much alike not to be. Tino didn’t stare but he kept his eyes on them the entire time. When they sat down and started smoking a blunt with Ramon, that was all the confirmation that he needed.

  “Stop trying to play me for a fool Santino. Mateo wouldn’t ask you to meet him anywhere this late at night. If anything, he would come over here if he wanted to talk. And why are you wearing all black?” Kimora asked as she continued to look at her husband suspiciously.

  “What’s with all the questions? Don’t you trust your husband?” Tino countered with a smirk.

  “Stop trying to shut me out. I already know what’s up. I just want you to be careful and come back home to me,” Kimora said, melting his heart.

  “I’ll always come back to you and my kids and that’s a promise,” he assured her.

  “You don’t know that,” Kimora said sadly.

  “Yes, I do,” Tino replied.

  “I love you,” Kimora said.

  “I love you more baby,” he replied with a kiss on her lips.

  Tino laid down with his wife and daughter until they both fell asleep. He knew that Kimora would be up worrying if she was still awake. He kissed them both on the forehead before he left out of the house and got into Dirty’s awaiting car. It was actually a beat up Van that he’d purchased a while ago and only used for certain times. He kept it locked up in Ced and Val’s garage but they needed it for the mission that they were about to be on.

  “The fuck took you so long? Luis said he got eyes on them niggas at the strip club right now,” Dirty said.

  “My bad cuz. You know my wife’s nerves be bad as fuck. I had to make sure that her and Tina went to sleep before I left. Let me call Mateo and tell him that we’ll be in route soon,” Tino replied while dialing a number on his phone.

  His uncle had come into town the night before and he was ready to get his hands dirty. An entire week had passed since he saw the two niggas who he suspected of shooting him. Tino and Dirty were out for blood that same night, but he had to make them see the big picture. They didn’t even have a plan and acting off emotions wasn’t a good look.

  “I had to beg my crazy ass wife to stay home. You know she be ready to ride for her nigga.,” Dirty laughed.

  “I already know but I need to ask you something cuz. The shit has been on my mind all week,” Tino said.

  “What’s good?” Dirty looked over at him and asked.

  “How do you know them niggas?” Tino inquired.

  “I really don’t know them but I’ve been in their company before. You might not remember but so have you,” Dirty replied.

  “What? When?” Tino questioned.

  “It was a while ago but everything will be made clear soon. Shit is mad twisted and all fucked up,” Dirty replied while shaking his head.

  “Don’t start talking in riddles and shit bruh,” Tino said.

  “No riddles, just facts.” Dirty shrugged, right as they pulled up on the side of Luis’ car.

  “What’s good cuz?” Tino asked him.

  “They’re still in there. I peeked inside and the crowd is getting thin. It shouldn’t be too much longer,” Luis answered.

  He was one of the most patient men that Tino knew. His cousin always played the background and he wanted it to stay that way. He had more money than the average man, but no one would ever know it. He had been working
for Tino since the first day Mateo gave him some dope to sell. He was still working for him now and they were making good money together.

  “Mateo is ready and so are we,” Tino said.

  “Aye, them niggas coming out now,” Dirty said when he saw a few men coming out of the building. The two brothers were among the crowd and they watched as they walked to a black Malibu.

  “Show time nigga,” Tino said as he cocked his gun and sat it on his lap.

  “Stick to the plan fam,” Dirty replied as he pulled off and followed closely behind their prey.

  Tino was amped and his adrenaline was rushing. He was annoyed when the men stopped at an apartment complex and stayed inside one of the houses for a few minutes. They stopped at the gas station and then the liquor store right after.

  “Fuck this shit. I’m not about to chase these niggas all night,” Tino said as looked around Dirty’s beat up van. He found a boxcutter in the glove box and hopped out of the car.

  “The fuck is you doing bruh?” Dirty fussed when he saw his cousin get low and run up to their car. Tino used the boxcutter and slashed one of their back tires before hurrying back to the van.

  “I’m tired of this cat and mouse bullshit. Get ready nigga. It’s isolated enough and this is as good as it gets,” Tino said as he pulled out his gun again.

  “Let me get a little closer,” Dirty replied.

  He pulled the van two cars over from where the brothers parked and kept it running. He pulled his gun out and got ready, just like his cousin told him to. About ten minutes later, the two men came out of the store drinking whatever liquor they’d just purchased. They weren’t paying attention to their surroundings and that was a big mistake. Tino and Dirty had hopped out of the van and was right behind them. They didn’t even know it until they felt the cold steel of the guns being pressed to the back of their heads.

  “Man fuck! We’re being robbed,” one of the brothers assumed.

  “Nobody ain’t robbing your broke ass with them dirty New Balance on your feet. Lights out nigga,” Tino said as he used the butt of his gun to knock the man out.

  Dirty followed his lead and his brother was knocked out and lying on the ground right next to him soon after. They picked the men up and threw them in the back of the van. Dirty drove while Tino had his gun trained on their enemies. They went to the spot that Mateo had picked out and backed the van up into the old garage. Mateo, Miguel and Luis were already there waiting for them.

  “What the hell did y’all do to them?” Luis asked when he opened the back of the van and saw the two men sprawled out on the van’s floor.

  “I hope you didn’t expect these niggas to come willingly,” Tino replied as he helped his cousin pull them out. They dropped their bodies on the patches of dirt that made up the garage’s floor.

  “Wake them up,” Mateo instructed as he stood there scowling. He was dressed down in black jeans with a black t-shirt. He left his family back in Miami because he planned to be in New Orleans until all the business got handled.

  Tino laughed when Luis sipped from his cup of liquor before pouring the rest on the two sleeping men. It only took a few seconds before they both started moving a little.

  “The fuck!” one of them groaned before slowly sitting up. His brother sat up too as they looked around in confusion.

  “Who pulled the trigger?” Mateo asked as he looked at both men. He didn’t have time to play and he was ready to get down to business.

  “What trigger? Man, we didn’t even do shit,” one of the brothers swore.

  “Ahh! Fuck!” the other one yelled out in pain when Miguel pulled out his gun and shot him in the leg.

  “The next one is going in your brother’s head if you lie to me again,” Mateo warned as Miguel kept his gun trained.

  “We weren’t trying to kill you, bruh, I swear. We just wanted the safe,” the man said, deciding to come clean.

  “Who sent you?” Mateo asked.

  “Shit went all bad but all we wanted was the dope and money out of the safe,” he repeated like that was supposed to make things better.

  “Who wanted my wife dead? She specifically heard y’all say that she was supposed to be killed. Who made that call? Who was the third man that y’all ran up in my house with?” Tino wanted to know.

  “Don’t say shit. They gon’ kill us anyway,” the brother who had been shot in the leg said. Mateo nodded his head and Miguel let off two shots, hitting him in the head.

  “No man, no!” the other man cried as his brother’s lifeless body fell over on him.

  “You talk, you live,” Mateo promised.

  “Just kill me man. Y’all gon’ do the shit anyway,” he sobbed.

  “If nothing else, I’m a man of my word. You tell me what I want to know and I promise I’ll spare your life,” Mateo said as he kneeled in front of him to make eye contact.

  “Alright man, it’s like this,” the man said as he started talking.

  Tino’s jaw clenched in anger as he listened to everything that was being said. When the man admitted that they were the ones who shot at Dirty, that was all that they needed to hear. He confirmed a lot of things but he also told them a lot that they didn’t know. Things that they would never have imagined. He was singing like a caged bird and they soaked up every word. Occasionally, Dirty and Tino would look at each other, both probably wondering the same thing.

  “Anything else we need to know?” Mateo asked.

  “No man, that’s it, I swear,” he said while shaking his head.

  “Okay,” Mateo said as he stood to his full height. When Tino aimed his gun at him, the man started begging for his life.

  “Come on man. You promised not to kill me,” he cried like the bitch ass nigga that he was.

  “I did and I won’t. But, my nephew, he’s a different story,” Mateo smirked before Tino emptied the clip and watched his body jerk with each bullet that entered him.

  “I’m sorry nephew. I know that wasn’t what you wanted to hear. I understand if you need a little time before we do anything,” Mateo said as he placed a comforting hand on Tino’s shoulder.

  “It be your own fucking family,” Tino fumed as he walked away.

  He and Dirty left his uncles and cousin in the garage to dispose of the bodies. Mateo was good at that and he didn’t need him to stick around. Tino and Dirty were deep in thought as they headed back to his house.

  “That’s fucked up man,” Dirty said, finally breaking the silence.

  “Thank you bruh. I appreciate you for never switching up on me. You’ve always been the same and that shit means a lot these days,” Tino said sincerely.

  “Being real ain’t hard. These niggas just don’t know nothing about that,” Dirty said, right as he pulled up to Tino’s house.

  His cousin gave him a one armed hug before getting out of the van and going into his house. They both knew that after what they’d just heard, their family would never be the same again.

  “W hat’s up Unc?” Tino asked when he answered the phone for Mateo.

  “Hola nephew. Are you in route?” Mateo questioned.

  “Yeah, we’ll be there in about ten,” Tino replied.

  “Listen, I understand if you have a change of heart. To me, family is everything. The people who we hold near and dear to our hearts. With that being said, are you absolutely sure about this? If not, Miguel and I can take care of it and you and Dirty can walk away,” Mateo noted.

  “I appreciate that Unc but we’re good. This shit is personal. We’ll see you soon,” Tino replied before he hung up.

  It had only been two days since they did away with the two brothers and they were on their way back to the same garage to handle more business. This time, it was more personal than anything because family was involved. The other two bodies hadn’t even been found yet and they were about to wreck shit once again.

  “These niggas must not know. They fucked with the wrong family,” Ronald said as checked his gun and made sure that it was load
ed.

  When his cousins called and told him that they had a problem, he didn’t ask any questions. He was ready to ride and let his guns do all the talking. It didn’t matter that he was blindly following them into some shit that he knew nothing about. He knew without a doubt that they would do the same for him. Tino and Dirty didn’t beef with niggas, so he knew that it had to be something serious for them to be out there on some murder shit.

  “Mateo straight?” Dirty asked.

  “Yeah. He was trying to make sure that we are,” Tino replied, giving him a knowing look.