A Handful of Ashes

by Janet Woods

  ‘Marry me, Pansy. I won’t let you go until you give me an answer.’

  The voices came closer. Oh God! It would be too embarrassing for them to find her like this. ‘All right, Alder, I will . . . but not until I’m of age. Now, let me up.’

  She scrambled back onto the seat just in time, for the earl popped his head around the corner the next moment. ‘I thought I heard voices. What are you doing on your knees, Alder?’

  He sprang upright and drawled, ‘Actually, Pa, I was proposing marriage to Miss Pansy Matheson. Although you’ve arrived at an inconvenient time you shall be the first to know. Pansy has just done me the honour of accepting.’

  Prudence gave a loud scream and Pansy found herself enveloped in a crushing hug while Ryder beamed a smile at her. ‘There, I knew you’d come round. We shall have a grand dinner party at the hall to celebrate, and the nuptials will take place in London. Next July will be a convenient time, for the London season is just about over but the guests will still be in their London residences.’ Prudence began to prattle on happily about who to invite and who not to invite.

  Pulling herself from her aunt’s arms, Pansy replenished herself with a breath before going to hug her father and whispering, ‘I’m sorry I was so horrid to you, Papa. I love you, I can’t bear it when we’re at odds.’

  ‘I think we were all a little rattled by what has happened. Let’s go and tell Siana the good news. She’ll be so happy for you.’

  ‘Does she know about Josh yet?’

  ‘You are the only female of the house privy to that information. Josh doesn’t want Siana to be alarmed for the time being. Yes, Siana will be told eventually. I thought I might tell her tomorrow, when the earl and his family have departed and Alder has had time to put things right between himself and her brother. I do so enjoy the company of my family and would prefer relations to remain harmonious between us. Josh understands that.’

  Harmonious! Was that what this demonstration in the gentlemanly art of brutality and justification had been? She managed to bury the exclamation of annoyance she felt as they strolled with their arms about each other’s waists, back to the house. ‘Can you stop Aunt Prudence from doing things her way? I’m not going to wed until two years have passed, and I want a small wedding with just family, not masses of people who I don’t really know.’

  ‘Aunt Prudence has always wanted a daughter, and kindly assumed the role of mentor after your own mother died. Indulge her if you wish to please me. A wedding lasts only for one day, marriage for a lifetime.’

  A coldness crept over Pansy then, and it was nothing to do with the fact that her father had decided not to pander to her wishes in this.

  The feeling of coldness intensified when she visited Josh with Alder. Laying on the bed a bunch of flowers she’d picked she gazed upon his bruised and blackened face with concern. The beating had been more brutal than she’d expected. ‘Dearest Josh, Alder has come to apologize for what he’s done. Please forgive him.’

  Alder cleared his throat and said gruffly, ‘I’ve brought my horse over for you, Skinner. I daresay the nag is worth a lot more than the one you lost, so I hope you’ll accept it in the spirit it’s offered. You’ll be recompensed for the rig and any expenses, of course.’ He held out his hand. ‘No bad feelings, I hope. All’s fair in love and war, eh?’

  After a moment’s hesitation, Josh took his hand. ‘Is it? I must remember that.’

  Alder’s laughter was forced. ‘By the way, Pansy has done me the honour. We’re to become engaged.’

  Josh paled as he gazed at her for a painful moment. ‘Are you happy, Miss Pansy?’

  ‘Of course she is. We’ll leave you now, Skinner, the visit seems to have tired you out.’

  Ignoring Alder, Pansy leaned over the bed and kissed Josh on the cheek, murmuring, ‘Get well soon. I’ll visit you again in a day or so, with Siana and Daisy.’

  Alder took a propriatorial grip of her upper arm and brought her upright. ‘Come on, Pansy my love, our business here is over now. The fellow needs his rest.’

  When they were halfway home, Pansy realized not one word of apology had left Alder’s lips.

  The next day Siana and Maryse were in the stillroom when Francis came back from visiting Josh at Cheverton Manor. The air was strongly flower-scented. Flattened open before them on the table was a book titled Domestic Cookery.

  ‘What are the pair of you up to in here?’

  Siana turned, a frown of concentration on her face. ‘We’re attempting to make some pot-pourri. Later, we’re going to make pomanders to place in the cupboards, for it repels the moths. Maryse is better at it than I am.’

  ‘That’s because I had some tuition from Aunt Prudence.’

  Sagely, Francis commented, ‘Prudence has many skills to pass onto others, it seems.’

  Siana laughed when she caught the amusement in his eyes. ‘You’ve distracted me. I’ve forgotten how many cups of rose petals I’ve measured into the pot.’

  ‘Nine,’ Maryse told her. ‘There’s about fifteen cupsful to a peck. Isn’t it about time we put some more jasmine in?’

  ‘We used that in the last layer. It’s the turn of the lavender next, then a handful of laurel leaves.’

  ‘Can you put that witchery aside for a moment? I need to talk to you. It’s about Josh.’

  Her gaze intensified on his face. ‘He’s hurt, isn’t he?’

  ‘Not badly. How did you know?’

  Siana’s fey sense had let her down this time. The undercurrents of uneasiness she’d felt of late were nothing to do with Josh. They seemed to be related to something much bigger. But then, the sight rarely came to her outside of the quiet times, and the house had been anything but quiet of late. ‘I didn’t, but you had your doctor face on when you you went out, and came straight back to me when you arrived home. What has happened?’

  ‘He had an . . . accident. His arm is broken and he sustained some bruising. He’ll be recuperating at Cheverton for a few days.’

  She began to untie her apron. ‘Why didn’t you tell me of this sooner? I could have gone with you.’

  ‘Josh didn’t want you to be unduly alarmed. I wanted to see how bad his injuries were for myself before I told you. My brothers concurred with my decision.’

  ‘Your brothers?’ There was a certain evasiveness about his answer she didn’t like. She envied the sense of camaraderie the Matheson brothers possessed and noted the deference afforded to Ryder in his position as earl. There was a definite pecking order amongst them. Francis was the youngest, therefore the least important. He accepted that. She didn’t, especially when information of such importance was kept from her.

  ‘How did the accident occur?’

  His glance flickered away from hers for a moment, then came back. His sigh had a slightly irritated sound to it, so she wished she hadn’t asked. ‘Alder deliberately caused the accident. He had too much to drink and took offence when Josh danced with Pansy.’

  Maryse gasped.

  Even though her insides churned with the anger she felt, Siana gazed calmly at Francis, waiting for the rest of it. It wasn’t forthcoming.

  He shrugged. ‘The argument has been resolved, an apology made, compensation offered and accepted. It was a family matter.’

  ‘Josh is a member of my family.’

  ‘I’m well aware of that, but you must allow me to act on your behalf in such disputes, and as I see fit. A needlessly unpleasant atmosphere might have developed and caused dissent amongst our guests had the matter been handled differently.’

  Siana felt like stamping her foot. ‘When did all this happen?’

  ‘The day before yesterday.’

  ‘I see. So my brother was criminally attacked and badly damaged by a member of your family and the matter is to be hushed up. What would have happened if it had been the other way round, Francis?’

  Siana, resenting that his brothers took precedence over herself in matters such as this, dropped her apron to the bench, pushed p
ast him and out of the door without another word.

  Her path took her the hill behind the house. Reaching the top, she kicked off her shoes and threw herself on her stomach in the long grass to gaze down on the River Frome, a sheet of silver water shining amongst the meadowlands.

  From here she could see only the chimney stacks of the house amongst the trees. There was a hint of autumn in the air, a slight curl and amber tint to the leaves. More gold than green, the grass had assumed a dry whisper, the prickly husks of the chestnuts were dropping to the ground and splitting open and acorns were pale brown beads in their cups.

  Yet the sun warmed her back and calmed her as she pressed her ear against the earth to feel the beat of its ancient wisdom. Presently, she heard footsteps. A shadow came between her and the sky as Francis seated himself beside her.

  ‘I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. I was brought up to believe that gentlemanly compromise was preferable in such matters.’

  She rolled over onto her back and smiled, inclined to be forgiving now he’d come after her. ‘I should have understood that consulting me would have diminished you in the eyes of your brothers. How tedious you all are when you’re together, as if it’s a game you play.’

  ‘I’ve never thought of it that way. It’s just something I’ve grown up with.’

  She thought of her own childhood then, of the poverty and the ill-treatment by her stepfather and of the promise she’d made to her dying mother to care for Daisy and Josh. She’d kept that promise, for she’d married above her. It was easy to love a man who treated a woman tenderly, and she’d found love with both her husbands, especially Francis, who had captured her heart completely. She reached up to trace the curve of his mouth.

  Francis thought he’d never seen anything so lovely as this woman of his. He loosened her hair and spread it to gleam darkly amongst the grasses, then took her hands in his and inhaled the heady fragrance of pot-pourri on her palms.

  She watched him from the wild darkness below the surface of her eyes, the pagan in her parting her luscious mouth in a faint smile, so his love for her spread through his veins in a river of heat. She brought him alive with her passion for life and loving, with the compassion that flowed from her to embrace every living thing.

  He bent to kiss the soft, pale flesh of her breasts, felt himself surge against her thigh.

  She laughed against his ear, the sound husky and teasing. ‘Whatever has come over you, my stuffy blue blood?’

  He grinned down at her and growled, ‘You’ve bewitched me.’

  Her peal of laughter was spontaneous. ‘I wouldn’t do anything so unnatural.’

  ‘Then why do I have this sudden desire to spread you out on the grass and make love to you?’

  ‘It’s the herd instinct. You’re king of your own castle again, and you need to reclaim what’s yours for reassurance.’

  ‘That’s an uncomfortable thought and you’re too clever by half. Perhaps it’s just because I love you.’

  ‘Or because I love you.’ She guided his hands to the fastenings of her bodice and, while he was fumbling there, her mouth found his and she kissed him long and hard.

  She was perfection, and he would never allow anything to come between them.

  Francis didn’t notice the shadow of a cloud passing over the sun, just felt his wife give a tiny little shudder.

  4

  It was the end of October. The Cheverton harvest had been a good one, generating a healthy profit. Marcus was well satisfied, his only regret was Maryse had not attended the harvest supper with her family the previous month.

  ‘My daughter is indisposed and she sends her apologies,’ Francis had told him.

  When they had a moment alone together, Siana had informed him exactly why the girl he loved was indisposed.

  ‘Maryse could not bring herself to revisit the place where she was brutally assaulted. Her emotions are very fragile and you should have known she wouldn’t attend.’

  Marcus didn’t blame Maryse one little bit. He’d resolved right there and then to remove the barn and the copse. He’d have a garden designed and laid out in its place, especially for Maryse’s pleasure.

  Gazing at himself in the mirror, he grinned widely. He looked like a man with courting on his mind in his new full-skirted coat with fur collar and matching cuffs, and his side-braided trousers. He was off to Wareham, where he intended to collect the garden design from the landscape artist.

  Siana had told him that Maryse and her sister would be attending an exhibition and sale of local crafts in the town hall. He intended to invite them to the tea rooms if he ran into them, which was more than probable, because he intended to keep an eye out for them.

  He declined refreshment with the landscape artist, and placed the plans in a satchel in his saddle bag. Scarcely twenty minutes later he cantered across the bridge over the Frome and past Lady St Mary’s Church. Forced to slow down as the road grew busier, he threaded his horse through the foot traffic, dismounting at the road junction outside the town hall.

  Leaving his mount to be minded by one of the lads eager to earn a few pennies, Marcus strode across to the Red Lion Hotel and, taking up a window seat, refreshed himself with a glass of ale while he observed the comings and goings at the town hall.

  He saw the rig arriving. What a stroke of luck! Josh Skinner was at the reins. Marcus hadn’t seen Josh since he’d spent time recuperating at Cheverton Manor after being set upon. He was of a mind to teach the young man personal defence skills, something Marcus had learned, along with the art of meditation, from an oriental gentleman he’d formerly been acquainted with. He was pleased to see Josh had fully recovered, for the attack upon him had been unwarranted, and also savage.

  Pansy, dressed in pink, laughed as Josh helped her down. A shame she had committed herself to her lout of a cousin, Marcus thought. The man was a bully and would seek to crush her spirit.

  Maryse followed. She wore a dark blue mantle over her gown for warmth. A matching bonnet of demure proportions framed her face and was tied to one side with a bow.

  His heart began to sing like a bird as he drank in the sight of her delicate face. Soon she’d be his to cherish. The inevitability of it grew inside him, for he knew they were meant for each other. He’d known it as soon as he’d set eyes on her, and so had she. All he had to do was convince her, and the defensive shell she’d built around herself would begin to crumble.

  He waited a while, giving them time to make their purchases from the goods on display. Finally, abandoning his vantage point he strolled across to the hall, deciding it would be better to make the meeting seem accidental, so as not to embarrass her.

  Goods of many designs were on display, from tapestries, beaded lamps, jewellery, bird displays mounted under glass domes, to exquisitely dressed dolls and painted fans. He saw Maryse examine a fringed shawl of light grey silk. It was decorated with intricately embroidered blue butterflies in random flight.

  Josh stood behind them, his arms full of parcels, a long-suffering look on his face.

  ‘How lovely it is,’ Marcus heard Maryse say to Pansy.

  ‘You should buy it. It would suit many of your gowns.’

  Wistfully, Maryse shook her head. ‘I haven’t got enough money left, and I need some new gloves.’

  Pansy opened her reticule to peer into its depths. ‘I have a small amount. If you offer them less, they might take it. Your gloves can wait and so can my new bonnet.’

  Maryse shook her head. ‘Aunt Prudence said that bonnet was a disgrace.’

  Pansy laughed. ‘She regards everything I do and wear as a disgrace. I don’t know why she was always so keen on me marrying Alder, when she disapproves of me so.’

  ‘That’s just her way. How could she disapprove when you’re so bright, happy and lovable. It’s impossible to be melancholy when you’re around. I’m going to miss you so much when you’re wed.’

  ‘I’ve told them I won’t wed Alder until you’re settled.’
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  ‘Which means she’ll redouble her efforts to find me a husband. Really, Pansy, how could you make me responsible for your happiness?’

  Pansy looked a little crestfallen by the rebuke. ‘I want you to be happy, too, Maryse.’

  ‘How can I be when you’ve made me feel guilty for the decision I made? You are doing exactly the same to me as was done to you, trying to push me into something I don’t want.’

  Pansy grinned. ‘But I wasn’t in love. You are, for I can see it in your eyes every time you look at—’

  ‘Stop it, at once, Pansy Matheson.’ Obviously flustered, Maryse blushed as she turned to walk away.

  Marcus’s eyes narrowed. As soon as they moved out of sight he hurried forward and purchased the shawl, placing the parcel in the saddle bag he was carrying over his arm. He’d hardly closed the flap when the party returned.

  Maryse’s blush returned when she saw him. It charmed him. ‘Marcus, what are you doing here?’

  ‘I was in Wareham on business, and was attracted by the crowd. There are some pretty goods on sale.’

  ‘Yes. Her glance went to the table and she couldn’t quite hide the flare of dismay in her eyes. ‘There was a shawl I rather liked, but it’s gone. I was going to ask them to keep it for me.’

  ‘Oh, that’s a shame.’ He greeted Josh and Pansy, saying casually, ‘I was just going to the tea rooms for some refreshment before I return home. Will you join me?’

  ‘In a little while. Miss Pansy has offered to help me choose dolls for Daisy, Goldie and Susannah,’ Josh replied. ‘Escort Miss Matheson, and take some of these parcels, if you would. I just haven’t got long enough arms to hang everything on.’

  ‘I have some plans for the Cheverton gardens I’d value your opinion on, later.’

  It was Maryse’s opinion Marcus valued, and while they waited in the tea rooms he watched the changing expressions on her face with genuine pleasure as she studied the plans.

  Once, she looked up and gazed straight into his eyes. The raw pain in them staggered him. ‘If you have the copse removed, surely the ground will become even more boggy there.’