Sweetest Sin: Bad Boy Bundle

by Delilah Wilde

  Ruby

  My twenty fifth birthday arrived all too soon, without a single attempt at contact from Nate. I had thought that I might get some teasing text messages, or maybe that he would have shown up at my apartment with a bottle of wine and that cute smirk. He must know that he could win me over easily. Yes, I had freaked out the last two times we had had sex but that was me. I was neurotic and silly. He had to be able to see how much I enjoyed being with him? Even if it wasn't socially acceptable. There had to be some way that we could continue our liaisons in secret.

  Obviously, Nate didn't want to. He had moved on to the next girl in the next city with the next shade of lipstick. Men like variety, as Trisha had always said. They don't like to be tied down to the same woman. Jeff had gotten with Amy because I hadn't made enough of an effort to keep things interesting for him. I should have made him nicer dinners and dressed up in sexy lingerie more often. Then he might have stayed.

  My mom didn't live in the city and I didn't have the money to travel home to see her. I didn't exactly have many friends in the city, so I allowed Trisha to organize a birthday dinner for both of us. She had insisted that it would be fun and not at all pathetic. She'd invite everyone she knew and I would have a magical evening.

  Though I wasn't in the mood, I managed to force myself out of bed and into a vaguely presentable dress. I dragged a comb through my hair and put on a wash of that red lipstick, thinking that I might as well get some use out of it.

  Trisha picked me up at seven in the evening, dressed in an interesting pink rhinestone number that looked like something a kid would wear in one of those creepy child beauty pageants. She hugged me tight and tossed me a bag full of presents before she began to drive to the restaurant.

  "Trisha, you shouldn't have," I said. I unwrapped every package. There was another pink lipstick, a bottle of perfume that smelled like bubblegum, a pair of pink heart earrings, a box of chocolates and even a little feather toy for Lucy.

  "Don't worry about it honey. I know you've had a tough year. It's my birthday too, but tonight's your night," she winked and shot me a pearly white smile. She seemed unenthusiastic about my present, a collage of childhood pictures of us and a pink nail polish, but she thanked me all the same. She didn't even make a dig at my financial problems, which I greatly appreciated.

  We pulled up in front of a fancy Chinese restaurant. It was the kind of place that served the exact same food that you'd find in a take-out place only less greasy and four times as expensive. Trisha had chosen well.

  We got out of the car and were greeted by a whole bunch of Trisha's friends, a few who I had met at the wedding. Her husband didn't seem to be anywhere in sight but I bit my tongue and didn't say anything. Maybe he would be coming later.

  We went inside and Trisha asked for the biggest table in the house. It was all very grand inside, with dangling chandeliers and waitresses in red silk dresses. I was about to sit between two of her friends when Trisha stopped me.

  "No Ruby!" she scolded, "You need an empty seat beside you! Not everyone is here yet."

  A few stragglers arrived within the next ten minutes. They were kind enough to bring me presents and were very over the top in wishing me a happy birthday. I wonder if Trisha had threatened them to act that way. I couldn't say that I minded. Maybe this wouldn't be a bad night after all.

  One of them tried to sit next to me and Trisha yelled at her, insisting that that seat was taken. Strange. Very strange. I couldn't understand why Trisha wasn't allowing her friends to sit beside me. She had said it herself. Tonight was my night.

  I soon understood everything. Jeff walked in, dressed as scruffily as he had in college in a too big shirt and shabby looking jeans. He was holding two bunches of gas station flowers in his hands, one of them very pink and the other more red.

  Trisha greeted him as if he was her long lost brother and took her bunch of flowers as if they were hot house lilies.

  "How thoughtful!" she exclaimed, "Oh Jeff, you really are the perfect guy!"

  I knew what was coming next. He sat next to me and handed me the red bunch of flowers. I thanked him curtly and put them under the table with my other gifts. He looked heartbroken at my coldness but I didn't care.

  "Are you ready to order?" asked one of the pretty waitresses. I saw Jeff's eyes wander to her tight silk ensemble for a moment, but he soon thought better of it and his eyes returned to me. I opened my mouth to say yes but Trisha interrupted me.

  “Sorry, we're still waiting on one more person. Wait, here he is!” Trisha waved enthusiastically. I looked behind me and my heart immediately sank.

  It was Nate.

  He looked incredible of course, dressed in his leather jacket and an expensive looking pair of black jeans. His hair was slightly tousled in a way that made me want to reach out and touch it. I could see the other girls, and some of the guys at the table were checking him out just like I was. In his hand were two small boxes, each gift wrapped in the same red metallic wrapping paper.

  Trisha actually got out of her seat to go hug him and thanked him profusely for showing up. She introduced him to every single person at the table and smiled when she got to me.

  "Nate, you remember Ruby, right? You sat next to her at the wedding," she said. Nate nodded and gave me a small smile.

  "Of course I do. Hi Ruby," he said.

  Then Jeff leaned forward to shake Nate's hand and introduce himself. I could see Nate frowning a little as Jeff told him his name. I wondered if he remembered everything I had told him about my ex. If he did, he chose not to make a scene and sat down between Trisha and her friend Laura, directly across from me.

  We all ordered our food and when the waitress left, got chatting. Jeff started talking to me about his new gym membership and some short story he'd had published in some magazine or other, but my eyes stayed on Nate. It became obvious very quickly that Trisha was trying to get Nate and Laura together. I had nothing against Laura, she seemed like a nice girl, but the idea of her with Nate infuriated me. I sat there, powerlessly watching as Trisha tried to find what the two had in common. Judging by the color of Laura's cheeks, she found Nate very attractive. He was talking to her and being as charming as always, but I couldn't tell if he was just being polite or if he actually liked her. His expression was impossible to read.

  "Ruby, you're not listening to me," said Jeff. I rolled my eyes.

  "That's true," I said. Jeff looked hurt. I tried not to feel too sorry for him. I mean, the man had made my life a living hell and cheated on me with my best friend in the world. But Jeff looked so pathetic that I couldn't help but apologize for my callousness, "I'm sorry, Jeff. I have a lot on my mind. So what's that you were saying about your story?"

  Jeff went into a long spiel about some man finding himself by sleeping with lots of women, before returning to the girl who had loved him all along. It sounded like utter garbage to me but I thought I'd be polite and keep my opinion to myself. Jeff seemed to like that as with every vaguely interested nod I gave he moved his chair closer to me.

  I could sense that Nate was looking at me now and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. I wished that I had made more of an effort to look sexy. Trisha's friends were all so good looking, if I had to compete with them I couldn't see myself standing much of a chance. It was upsetting.

  The waitress arrived with our food. I had ordered satay skewers and I began to dig into them as soon as she put down my plate. Concentrating on my food seemed like a better option than listening to Jeff, or worse, watching Nate getting cozy with another girl.

  "Ruby, you're so rude! You never opened Nate's present!" said Trisha, suddenly. A metallic red package was sitting in front of me. I hadn't noticed it until now.

  "That's OK It's nothing much, really," he said. For what must have been the first time in his life, Nate Watson actually looked shy. It was adorable and made me want to kiss him even more than I already did.

  Trisha drew everyone's attention to her bracelet. It
was a small, elegant piece with pink stones and a rose gold chain that sparkled just a bit. It was perfect for Trisha.

  "Look at what Nate got me in Paris. Isn't it pretty? He's the best cousin ever," she sang, smiling at Nate, "I have no idea how you're still single! Laura, isn't that crazy?"

  Laura nodded shyly. I reached out and took the box.

  "I'd prefer to open my presents on my own, if that's OK?" I said, putting it under the table with the others. Nate nodded.

  "Sure that's OK I just hope you like it."

  "I'm sure I will."

  I looked back at my satay and let my hair fall by my face, hoping that it would cover the scarlet color that I could feel my cheeks were now going. I could sense Jeff huffing beside me.

  "God, that guy really thinks he's great doesn't he," he said, poking me, "Didn't you say you were going out with him?"

  I shushed Jeff. Luckily, no one at the table seemed to be listening to him.

  "I said that, but I was lying because I wanted you to leave me alone. I just happened to think of Nate's name. I'm single, OK?" I knew that Jeff would interpret my horrified expression as embarrassment for lying to him. I was right.

  "Oh, I see. There's really no reason to be embarrassed, baby," he said.

  "Ruby," I quickly retorted. He nodded.

  "Of course, Ruby. You didn't even like being called baby when we were together. That's understandable though. I think I get you more than anyone else does. After all, we spent so much time together," he said. I kept nodding as I ate, hoping that if I agreed with him he wouldn't bother

  me too much.

  "And I know it must be scary, seeing as how you lost me last time. I know you're afraid that it will happen again. I guess we were both at fault and we both have things that we need to work on. But we can work on them together."

  "Mm hmm," I nodded, "That's great Jeff."

  I called over the waitress and asked for a glass of wine. The soda that I had been sipping all night just wasn't doing it for me anymore. Not with Jeff babbling shit in one ear and Trisha talking about how great Nate and Laura looked together in the other. I drank my glass quickly and followed it with a second one. The world suddenly seemed a little bit kinder.

  The waitresses took away our dinner plates and we ordered dessert. Laura was the type of girl who didn't eat dessert, I noted, wondering if Nate would like me better if I said no to the chocolate cake that looked so incredible. But fuck it, that didn't matter now. I ordered my cake. To my surprise, the waitresses appeared with a large birthday cake with twenty five candles on it, singing happy birthday. Everyone sang along, wish myself and Trisha the best and cheering us on as we blew out our candles. There was only one thing that I was wishing for and it made me feel silly, as I had already given it away so freely. I looked at Nate as I sat down once again and Trisha began to cut the cake up for everyone.

  When everyone was finished eating, Trisha gave Jeff a knowing look before standing up and tapping her spoon against the glass.

  "Hello everyone, and thank you so much for coming to my birthday dinner. And Ruby's birthday dinner. We are so happy to have you here and we've had an amazing night, full of incredible friends and family as well as beautiful presents. I'm sure I speak for Ruby too when I tell you that we are so grateful for your friendships," she grinned at me, “anyway, now we're gonna do some speeches.

  Ruby, would you like to go first?"

  I shook my head but people already had started to chant "Speech, speech speech!" demandingly, so it wasn't like I had much of a choice. It hated public speaking so much but I told myself that I was among friends, that I would be OK I stood up and cleared my throat.

  "Uh yeah, I would also like to thank everyone for being here and for the amazing presents. This is really an amazing time in both Trisha and my life so we're really happy that we could share this moment with you. Uh, oh yeah, I hope the next year is as amazing for you as I'm hoping it will be for me. You deserve all the happiness in the world and to find fulfillment, whatever that may mean to you," I said it all in one gabbled rush so I paused to take a deep breath, "Thanks for listening and have a great night."

  They all applauded me and I gave a little curtsy before sitting down.

  "That was great, Rubes," said Trisha, winking at me, "Now, is there anyone else here who has something to say? I'm sure we would both love to hear it."

  I looked around. A few people volunteered to speak but Trisha was looking directly at Jeff. Fucking hell, what kind of nonsense would he spew? Whatever it was would be the last thing I wanted to hear on my birthday. It had already been a shitty evening. I just wanted to go home and curl up with a tub of ice cream and some leftover birthday cake. Even so, I listened politely.

  Jeff didn't stand up. Instead, he turned to face me. There were a few chuckles of anticipation among Trisha's friends and I could see that Jeff was now incredibly nervous. What in god's name was going on?

  He fished a piece of paper out of his pocket and began to read from it. It was crumpled and covered with a lot of his tiny handwriting, as well as a few scribbles where he had crossed out his mistakes. He began to read from it as I looked around, bewildered.

  "Ruby, this speech is for you on your birthday. I can't believe that you've been on the planet for twenty five years already. I remember when I met you in college and how shy and nervous you were. Since then you've grown into a confident and sexy woman," someone gave a wolf whistle. I wanted the ground to swallow me up so I wouldn't have to listen to any more of this shit. I glanced at Nate and saw that he was laughing, "I realize now that I am so lucky to know you. Of course we have had our differences, our ups and downs and many arguments over the years. No couple is perfect."

  "We're not a couple," I said, but it came out as a whisper that no one seemed to hear.

  "I don't know where the future will take us. Fuck, I don't know where tomorrow will take us. But I do know this. I may not be a perfect man, but I know that I am without a doubt the perfect man for you. That's why," too my horror, Jeff got down on one knee and pulled out a ring, "I'm asking for your hand in marriage. Ruby Heron, will you marry me?"

  I looked around. Everyone was sitting forward in their seats as if they were witnessing something wildly exciting. Trisha was mouthing 'say yes' over and over again. Nate was the only one who wasn't smiling, or even listening. He was sitting back in his seat, messing around with his smart phone. I looked back down at Jeff, who was staring up at me so earnestly. He really wanted this. My mouth was so dry that when I tried to get a word out a small croaking sound escaped my lips.

  "What was that?" Jeff asked, sounding faintly irritated now, "Was that a yes?"

  "What did she say?" asked Trisha.

  A chorus of 'what did she say' erupted among my dinner guests. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my handbag and got up. "I'm sorry Jeff!" I said, before running out of the restaurant. I could hear the shocked sounds behind me, the new gossip mill opened for business. I didn't even care. I just had to get away.

  I found myself hyperventilating against a wall in the parking lot, in the shadows where I hoped no one would see me. I heard Trisha's voice calling out for me but she soon gave up and returned to her party.

  She'd planned this all along, I realized. She knew that Jeff was going to propose. That's why she said tonight would be my night. That's why she forced me to sit next to him. It all made sense now. I felt horrible for what I had just done but the idea of marrying Jeff made my stomach turn. It was better to humiliate him in front of a few dinner guests than at our wedding in front of a hundred or so wedding guests.

  "So, not gonna be Mrs Jeff then?" said a voice that I instantly recognized I turned around and saw Nate behind me, lighting a cigarette and smirking at me.

  "Oh god, this is just what I need now," I said, "Besides, I thought you were quitting."

  Nate shrugged and stubbed out the cigarette on the wall.

  "I am. I just like having an excuse to leave awkward situations. And boy
, that party you just left.," Nate gave an impressed whistle, "It is the most awkward of awkward situations. That Jeff guy is actually crying. Like, full on sobbing. It's kind of funny, actually."

  I frowned, feeling the guilt weighing heavily on my chest.

  "You're so mean. I didn't want to hurt him. I just couldn't say yes when I know he's not the one for me," I said. Nate shrugged again, smirking mischievously.

  "Why feel bad? Isn't this the guy who screwed your best friend? No wait, excuse me. Isn't this the guy who had an emotional affair, which may or may not have involved screwing your best friend?" he asked. I hated when Nate was right. He always knew it too.

  "Yeah it is. But no one deserves that."

  The two of us stood against the wall, both reluctant to go back inside. Nate lit another cigarette but didn't smoke it. He just held it in his hand and watched the smoke rise from the end for a while.

  "Why didn't you call me?" I said softly. I regretted it as soon as the words came out but it had to be asked.

  "Because the last time we slept together you freaked out after. I figured that you don't want to be put through all that stress every time we have sex, so I thought it would be best to cut things off," he said, "Was I wrong?"