“I’m glad I caught you in time for you to make changes. Can’t forget to inform everyone that you’re kind enough to take me even addled as I am.”
“We don’t owe them explanations. It’ll be fun though to get to be on your arm all night.”
“Yes, many dances will be had. I can’t wait to dance with you and to see you dance with my dad. You guys will be cute. Oh, and Holland she will get to meet everyone finally. Mostly, I’m looking forward to having you all to myself after it’s all over. My wife.”
“Oh yeah, and why’s that?”
“Because I’m going to jump you. After seeing you in that dress I will have been holding back all my horniness all day. You might want to drink a lot of water during the day.”
“Your head’s in the gutter, Lockhart. There’s no saving you.”
“Yes, well, have you seen my fiancé?”
“What? That weird rich girl? I didn’t know people actually talked to her. How strange,” she joked, pretending to be one of the assholes at school. I’d actually heard things like that said about her.
“Yes, she’s not actually that strange if you want the truth. She’s super smart, sweet, and really hot. You should see her boobs.”
“Yeah. I can’t wait for your vows. I’m sure they’ll be very eloquent.”
“Yes, I assure you that the word boobs appears no less than three times along with the phrase dat ass.”
“Funny thing is my mother would actually take secret pleasure in that.”
“Um, why?”
I was very confused now.
“She loves that you love me. It’s bizarre. You’ve had to notice? All she does is gush and over-stare and even blush when you show affection to me. She’s sort of addicted, I think. I don’t think she was lying when she told me she thought I’d just never be interested in anyone. She did not see this coming,” she laughed.
“No. I mean. Not really. I knew she liked that I love you so much but the more physical appreciation I have for you? No, I did not know that she was into that.”
“It’s all the same,” Olivia laughed. “She hasn’t seen me be even remotely like this with anyone. It’s something she could never have dreamed. She thinks it makes me normal. She thinks you’re normal.”
“Babe, she has no idea, does she?” I scoffed. Normal. Fuck normal. “I guess everyone used to think I was normal. Everyone at school.”
“Normal doesn’t exist,” Olivia said.
“People like to pretend it does. That makes them more crazy, to me.”
The bed was so comfortable that I didn’t even have to adjust my position. It was perfect.
“So, your vows…” I had my eyes closed and I was trying to be all casual. “Wanna give me a sneak peek?”
“Yeah, no,” she said, instantly shutting me down without qualms.
“I didn’t think so. I just wanted to try to get you while your guard was down.”
“Good luck with that,” she said.
“You’re too good for me,” I said.
She really was perfect. She could even turn me on when she shut me down.
“And too cute.”
“And too smart.”
“And too hot.”
“And-”
She stopped me with a hand over my mouth.
“Wha?” I asked all garbled because of her hand.
“The more you lie, the more I want to attack you,” she said. Her hand eventually moved so I could speak.
“I’m not lying. That’s really what I know and feel.” She wasn’t going to dissuade me that easily.
“And you’re more logical,” I went on.
“What are you doing?! Stop,” she said.
“Telling you all the things I love about you.”
“You like my body and my money,” she said, obviously trying to piss me off.
“Oh god, how did you find out? I thought I kept that so secret. Damn… Did you read my diary?”
“I did,” she nodded, as if I had written that in there.
“Then I guess you know about the sex addiction too then.”
“That was already obvious,” she deadpanned.
“Oh yeah, because of the almost daily sex we have. You must not mind too much.”
I shrugged a shoulder.
“True,” she sighed. “If only you were actually good at it.”
“Damn, that is cold. I can’t argue with you though. I figured you were faking it all this time.”
“You just… Never get me there,” she lied, running her hand down my body and smoothing it out around my hip as she pushed her body up into mine.
“I guess I should try harder.” My breathing picked up. “Why are you marrying me then? I don’t get you off, I have nefarious motives, and I’m not that smart.”
“Glutton for punishment,” she lied, pushing her body into me again. “I’m obviously masochistic.”
“That, I will agree with,” I poked her side. “Good thing I’m sometimes useful to have around.”
“You make me so weak,” she whined, already breaking from her very fictional tirade. She could only lie for so long. Lying for her was different than withholding the truth. Though they were similar, there was a clear deviation on her mental scale that measured guilt.
“Weak, huh?” I put my face in her neck, turning so I could get far into her space. I hummed as I kissed her skin. “I don’t want to make you weak unless it’s in a good way.”
“It’s always in a good way,” she groaned. “I probably wouldn’t tell you if it wasn’t. My body’s still stuck on what you did to me outside. It’s hard to pretend you’re even remotely bad at things like that when I already want you again.”
“You’re amazing.” I moved my hand over her chest and tossed one of my legs over her waist, drawing her into me. It would be so easy to roll onto her and taste her until she passed out.
“I’m really not,” she said truthfully.
“To me you are.” If she disagreed with me again I’d shut her up. It wasn’t that hard.
“Poor sick girl,” she teased.
“You’re forcing my hand… Or my tongue, as it were.” I looked up at her for a second before I rolled over onto her body, using my legs to push hers apart. I moved quickly down her body until my face was even with her waist. “Mmm, yes.”
I tasted her, teasing with my tongue in little circles around her folds and then right up her center. I wanted to attack her, take her so quick she couldn’t even breathe.
Just from my body over hers, she gasped. I moved too quick and she was slow to catch up, fingers reaching into my hair and twisting as I already tasted her soft wet sex.
“Fuck,” she gasped out, fingers tightening as her center pushed up into my tongue.
I breathed out and sucked in some air, taking her scent in. I let her push into me and my tongue swirled around her. I could imagine the feelings. The way she did these things to me made it easy. I wanted her to feel good.
“Fuck,” she said again, this time with so much less of a voice and I felt that weakness she’d been speaking of before.
So, I had to give her more. I pressed a finger into her and then another, hearing her gasp and feeling her whole body react. She pressed into me even more and I pushed up at the same time.
I sucked her into my mouth and fucked her slow and thorough, coupling it with everything my mouth was doing to her. She inspired me to try everything I could to please her. It made me happy, too happy.
I’d stricken her speechless. Soon as my fingers went in, her hands loosened from my hair and flew down to the sheets. She clasped them for dear life and her body went tense. She wasn’t trying to get to me anymore, I was getting to her.
I wanted to draw it out but she was shivering around me. It was a sign and I couldn’t slow or stop. I didn’t have the heart. I wanted to let her go and hold her as she came back.
The words I love you were going through my head over and over. It was my mantra as she arched up and I could
feel her going over and crashing into me. I moved my fingers and pressed my tongue against her to taste everything.
When I felt her still I looked up and saw her trying to recover. I put my head on her stomach after moving up a little.
“Did I kill you?”
“I love you,” she panted, eyes closed and overwhelmed by me.
“I love you too, babe.” I rolled over to the side and scooted up to kiss her.
“You look really beautiful,” I said, pushing hair away from her face.
She scrunched her eyebrows close together and kissed me like it hurt. She couldn’t even open her eyes. “Mmm,” I heard her mumble while I kissed her. “Fuck… Babe…” I must’ve broken her just a bit.
“You better be okay for tomorrow.” I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her shoulder. “I don’t want to have to explain to everyone how I broke you.”
It hit me how crazy it all was. Teenagers getting married. I saw her fears. I could admit I was defensive about them without meaning to be.
Sometimes it all unwound in my head and I could see how we got from the beginning to here and I knew that no one would believe me if I told them the story.
We weren't typical.
“I’ll be on a cloud all day,” she said. “I’m the luckiest girl on this planet. I’ve found more than I could ever dream...”
The Lost Chapter
Natalie
When my doorbell rang I don’t know who I was expecting to find but it wasn’t Sky.
“Oh, hi there,” I said, noticing how dressed up she was and how unmistakably beautiful. Sky was kinda like Avery, she fit more naturally in the high school halls than most other places she could be. My doorway did not exactly treat her right. It was shady and it tried to hide her features, turn her into a trick.
“Hi, um. I-I brought you this.” In her hand was a bottle of liquor wrapped up with a red bow. “I uh. I remembered Olivia said that you liked it one time.”
“Oh, don’t trust Olivia,” I laughed. “As a general rule I will pretend to love everything she gives me.”
“Oh…” Sky said, looking down, a little embarrassed and confused. The way she viewed her gift now was with sadness and stupidity. Making her feel bad for coming was not my intention.
“Come on,” I laughed, tugging her wrist to pull her inside. As she entered my space I noticed how awkward she was and uncomfortable. “My mom’s out for the weekend. Relax,” I whispered. If she was scared of meeting my family she didn’t have to be. “I just meant that I’d like a vile of poison if Olivia gave it to me. This is good,” I said, putting the bottle down and giving her a soft glance. It was whiskey, a fancy expensive bottle that only Olivia would spring for, and I knew from experience, it was strong as all hell. “Is this a booty call?” I wondered, thinking about the last time I had this whiskey and with whom. Olivia and I could be devils at times. It was sad now to think it might never be that way again.
“Uh- I don’t know,” Sky shrugged nervously. “It might just be a- misery loves company call.” Her words rushed out of her and I knew she wanted to be suave but she was failing.
“Hmm,” I thought. She was a little jittery and so much different without that will to flatter Avery and upstage my dear good friend. “Stuff on your mind,” I wondered.
I turned and leaned back on the counter. Sky was awkwardly standing inside of my kitchen, refusing to loosen up.
“Come ‘ere,” I said, tugging her wrists so her body would come in front of mine, so I could keep her close within my reach. I remembered the few other times we’d been together and how that had mostly been about just touching. “It’s okay,” I said, pulling her in slowly by the jaw and choosing to softly give her a kiss her.
There were only a few things I knew about her and one of them was that she wanted me physically.
She wasn’t like any of my exes or friends but I knew she was trying with me.
Her breath was warm and nervous. And with me she had some excitement she lacked around Olivia. An openness to try new things. I liked to see who she actually was, find out for myself why she wanted to be near me.
She laughed nervously as I pulled my lips back from hers and allowed her to breathe. “I uh. I’m all fucked up,” she said. “About the wedding. Avery…” her eyes darted up to mine. Sky was skittish, afraid to say what she thought.
“Yeah,” I said, thinking about that.
Everything about her wasn’t just about Avery though.
“Are, um… Are you fucked up too?” She wondered.
Her eyes darted up and then down again, trying to find things but also avoid commitment to any statement or singular stare.
“I am, yeah,” I shrugged. I’d had heartbreak before though, and betrayals were worse. At least Olivia hadn’t betrayed me. “But she’s still in my life so… I count myself lucky.”
“Lucky how?” Sky asked, a bit of scorn in her stare.
As soon as my face registered the bitterness in hers she swallowed her question.
“Sorry,” she said, clearing her throat awkwardly. I had her pulled so close to me she couldn’t hide herself away. “I just mean. I hate it,” Sky confessed. Her voice and body told me that she’d given up on trying to be nice about her sadness. I preferred her honesty right now, even if she wasn’t helping anything in me tonight.
“I know,” I said, understanding those feelings. “When I first met Avery I was trying so hard not to be angry.”
“At her?”
“Mmhmm,” I nodded. I rubbed my hand onto Skylar’s lower-back and tried to get her to calm down.
Our problem had been her lack of chill. Her lack of chill had also been a bit of our happiness though. I could give her things and help her a little. I could learn that people would still physically respond to me in ways Olivia had, close anyway.
I knew Sky was a rebound just as others had already been before her. But I also knew we shared a similar sadness, both losing the only person we could see ourselves with in the forever future.
“I don't get it.”
“She stole my lover away,” I explained.
“Oh. Right.”
I smiled.
Of course Sky couldn't possibly imagine Avery doing anything wrong. I felt the same way about Olivia.
“I wanted her to not be,” I explained. “But then I thought about how different Olivia had been. She broke up with me, for one. And then she started to see me more, really notice.”
“Olivia’s weird,” Sky said.
I sighed.
“Yeah. You may think that but she's brilliant and her capacity for love is unending.”
“I dunno.”
“Okay,” I laughed. “Are you trying to piss me off or is that just happening on accident?” I only had so much patience when people were needlessly negative about the people I held dear.
“What? No!” Sky said, readily reacting to my call-out. “I just don't get what you or Avery even see in her.”
“You don't get it,” I teased. “Right because she isn't gorgeous or overly talented or grief stricken in a way that truly makes her too beautiful to watch or, I dunno, jaded to the point of being scared? What is it exactly that you don't see?” I wondered.
Sky looked away from me. Of course she had no argument or proof for her opposite reaction to Olivia Holbrook, the most worthy and wonderful person I’d ever known.
“Jealousy is ugly Sky. And it is transparent. You can't hide it.”
“Whatever,” she muttered.
“No, don't whatever me. How do you expect to keep Avery in your life? Downplaying Olivia’s obvious gifts isn't going to help you become closer to Avery.”
“Right,” Sky scoffed. “Because pretending to be okay with things is really working well for you.”
“It is actually,” I admitted. “Olivia and I have been closer than she allowed me to get when I was her girlfriend. And that means a lot to me. When you really love someone you don't need them to be yours. That isn't part of the d
eal. When you love someone you want them to be happy. Even if it means you won't be the one they come home to every night.”
“That's stupid,” Sky said.
She was acting like a stupid boy and I wasn't into her ugly opinions right now.
“I get that it's hard,” I said, giving her something. “I'm not saying that everything happens for a reason but I am saying I don't have the energy to be bitter about the fact that my best friend is happier with Avery than she's ever been with me.”
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