Trap: A Salvation Society Novel

by Jennifer Rebecca

  She makes me feel like no woman ever has before. I’m not falling in love with her; I’ve already fallen. But I can’t tell her yet, because I know in my gut that if I do, she will run. I’ll chase her if she does, but I’d rather ease her into loving me instead. I won’t say the words, but I’ll show her my feelings and my heart in everything I do. And after she comes home from her deployment, I’ll make her mine for real. What could happen in a couple of months anyway?

  The sun has gone down behind the ocean that I love so much, and it’s time to get to my girl. I walk back up the path, climb into my truck, and make my way to Mack’s house. I might not be ready to share my feelings with her yet, but it’s time to get on the same page with a few things.

  Chapter Eight

  MacKenzie

  Truth or dare

  Butterflies. They don’t just flit about in my belly; they’re swarming all over. I feel a buzz, like I’ve touched an electric fence, as the doorbell rings. It’s a little exhilarating, but it’s also a little painful.

  I’m not wholly sure what these feelings I’m having for Kyle are, and I’m also not sure I want them. And if I believe that, I’m sure there’s some oceanfront property I could spend my life savings on in Arizona, as King George has previously proclaimed.

  I have… feelings for him.

  There. I said it.

  I’m falling for Kyle Garrett. And I still haven’t told him the truth about who I am and my family. It’s not that I’m ashamed of them, but I like to keep my life private, and my family likes to be kept private due to their high-profile careers and families. I have always wanted my victories to be mine and not because of who my brother or father are. It’s ironic that I’ve never cared enough about a man to want to share my life and where I come from with them before, and now that I do, I’ve probably lied so much that he won’t want to stay. What a catch-22. I’m not actually sure how to proceed. I feel stunted. I’ve had boyfriends and lovers before, but they were few and far between. It never bothered me before, and honestly, I didn’t care one way or another. But now, I don’t have the experience to know what the correct path to take is.

  Not to mention a relationship with him can cost me my career. One of us would have to leave the military, and I’m not sure I could let him sacrifice his career or let our actions taint mine. In the end, one of us would grow to resent the other, turning the possibility of what we could have together—the beauty of it all—into something ugly and unhealthy.

  Shit. Tears clog the back of my throat because I know that I’m going to have to let him go. In the end, it’s the right thing to do whether I want to or not. It’s better to have what we have right now, instead of breaking something precious and delicate in the palms of our hands.

  I pull open the front door and see Kyle standing there. He’s so handsome that he takes my breath away. I want him so badly, the way he tempts me with the promise of things I’ve never thought were possible before, even though I know in my gut that I’m headed for a crash.

  But am I? I can’t help but think that by being so closed off, I’ve ruined everything. Will he understand? Will he forgive me? I know I didn’t lie outright, but a lie by omission is still a lie, right? But no, there are still huge barriers past my lies of omission. Ones that I’m not sure we could overcome even if we wanted to. It… hurts to know that I’ve finally found someone that I want to be a partner to, grow with and love, someone who understands me and my career, and still, I can’t have them.

  “Hi,” he greets, pulling me out of my own head and I shake away my sad thoughts. I just have to get through tonight and then I can pick up the pieces tomorrow.

  “Hi,” I say back. I’m still standing in the doorway, hugging the thin edge of the wood panel as I let my eyes trail over every inch of the man who is quickly coming to mean so much to me.

  “Can I come in?” Kyle asks, and I realize I’m blocking the entrance to my home.

  “Of course,” I reply quickly, stepping back so he can enter. “Come on in.”

  Kyle walks through the door, and I close it behind him, flipping the deadbolt. I take a breath and gently tap the flat of my palm against the door twice before I turn around to face him. He watches me carefully, and I can’t help but wonder what’s going through his mind. What does he see when he looks at me? Does he find me lacking? I’m not very girlie. I’m tough, and I work hard to be the best in a man’s world. But there’s something about him that makes me feel a little vulnerable, delicate even.

  I roll my bottom lip between my teeth, and Kyle’s face softens. He takes a step toward me and pulls me into his arms.

  “What’s on your mind, beautiful?” he asks as he brushes a loose strand of hair from my face. The action is so sweet and tender and I’m so undeserving. I want to cry and that, in and of itself, is weird because I don’t cry. Even in movies when the dog dies, I can hold it all in but there’s something about this man that makes me feel.

  “Nothing,” I answer him quietly. My voice is soft and timid. It’s so unlike me. I don’t like it, so I roll my shoulders back and admit, “Everything.”

  “You can trust me.” He gently rubs my back while he holds me in his arms. It’s a comforting gesture and it only makes me feel worse about the lies that I never told. The words I should have spoken grow between us like a living breathing thing, a monster neither of us will be able to vanquish.

  Can I, though? He tempts me with his words, a promise that if I give him what he’s asking of me, I can have everything that I’ve ever wanted. I think I can, but it’s also only been two weeks. We really don’t know each other very well, so I’m not sure I should spill all my deep, dark secrets right now. I bury my face in his strong chest and let his masculine smell surround me, providing me the comfort I need.

  “You can trust me,” he repeats, and I nuzzle closer and take a deep breath to steady myself. I’m not ready to verbalize just yet the thoughts that are a swirling storm in my head, but I also want him to know I’m taking his caring words to heart. And then Kyle tips my world on its axis all over again. “You can talk to me, MacKenzie, because I already know.”

  It’s like someone has poured a bucket of ice water over my head, and as it seeps through my clothes and my skin, it chills me to the bone.

  My spine snaps straight and my head pops up. My eyes immediately clash with his. I am wary of what will next come out of his mouth, and I feel on edge. Tension crackles and sparks within me. But his face remains soft as he looks at me. The expression on his handsome face is tender. I feel confused and unsure. He makes me feel unbalanced.

  “What?” I whisper.

  “You heard me,” he says. His voice is gentle but sure. “I know, and you can trust me with that knowledge. I will never hurt you.” Pretty words but I still can’t be sure. He’s asking me to trust him while telling me that he knows my secrets.

  “I don’t know what you know,” I reply and instantly wince, because I know it sounds petty as hell but also childish and ridiculous.

  “That your oldest sibling is the president’s aide-de-camp. That you come from a powerful military family and have somehow managed to fly under the radar with all that golden hair instead of the dark looks of the rest of the Black family. I know you’ve worked hard to build your career on your own name and not anyone else's, and I know how important that is to you.”

  “You do, do you?” I ask, swallowing back against the bile that’s burning my gut, because Kyle Garrett figured me out so easily when no one else has before. And worse, why would he do so?

  “I will protect you and keep you safe,” he says gently, and I bristle at his words. I don’t need him or any other man to keep me safe. I’m strong and powerful all on my own.

  “I don’t need you to protect me,” I bite out the caustic words.

  “I know that too, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep you from harm,” he says, melting me just a little bit more. “I want to take care of you and keep you safe, but I also know you’re
strong and capable and don’t need me to. But there’s also a part of me that wants you to need me like I need you.”

  I guess this is it, truth or dare time. So the real question is do I let my fear of being hurt or used overrule my desire to be with this man? Do I give him me, or do I let him walk away? My head is telling me one thing, but my heart and my gut are leading me in the opposite direction, right to this man standing before me, holding me in his arms.

  I lift my head to look him in the eyes one more time, and I jump in with both feet. “I want you.”

  “Yeah?” he asks with a new light in his eyes that I hadn’t realized was dimmed until now. Kyle Garrett, cocky, badass navy SEAL, was nervous. He was worried I was going to run. I guess I haven’t given him much to instill confidence in me. Maybe I’m not a great bet to take after all.

  “Yeah,” I agree, and I do. No one has ever pushed my buttons and flipped all of my switches like Kyle Garrett does.

  “You’re mine?” he asks, his voice suddenly more gruff, deeper than before with all of the emotion playing heavily at the surface.

  “Now hold on,” I say, holding my hands up in front of us. Kyle narrows his eyes on my movements that I intend to put some space between us. Space he does not let me take. “We have a lot to talk about. It’s not that easy.”

  “It’s exactly that easy,” he replies. “Now, I asked you, are you mine? And I’m going to need you to answer me.”

  Can it be that easy? Can I just give in and give myself over to this man who turned my world upside down in a little more than two weeks?

  What I want to know is how—when he crowds up against me, asking me a question that will change my life completely, asking me to give everything that I have, hopefully in exchange for everything he has to give, with no guarantees—can he have my knees shaking and pussy quivering all at the same time? And once again, Kyle has me locked in his private game of truth or dare, and if I take his dare and tell the truth, we both might walk away winners.

  I’ll give in to this powerful man, but I’ll also take everything and anything as well. He wants me and that’s fine because I’ve decided that I want him too. My heart is about to beat out of my chest when I take a shaky breath and answer, “I’m yours, and you’re mine.”

  I barely get the words out of my mouth when Kyle slams his lips down on mine in a punishing kiss. I open underneath him, and he doesn’t just kiss me; he owns me. Heat floods my pussy, and I whimper against his lips.

  He rips his mouth away from mine, and we both struggle to catch our breath. It doesn’t take long for the passion between us to burn out of control like a wildfire, and I have a feeling it’s the kind that always will. That we will want each other, burn for each other just like this, always.

  I let out an undignified “Eep!” when Kyle bends down and hits me in the belly with his shoulder before straightening to his full height and making his way up the first flight of stairs.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, and I sound breathless even to my own ears.

  “After a declaration like that, I need to fuck you,” he answers, robbing me of breath once again. “And I can’t fuck you like I need to on the entryway tile, so you better hold on. This ride is about to get a little bumpy.”

  “You should know by now that’s my favorite kind of ride.” I laugh as he takes the next flight of stairs at a dead run. One thing I can say for sure, the navy trained my man well. He carries me like I’m tiny, like I weigh nothing at all.

  As he quickly makes his way down the hall to my bedroom door, it feels like I’m flying, and I guess I am. I took a leap, hoping he would catch me before I fell, and so far, it looks like he has. The other feelings swirling dangerously near my heart, I’ll address when I get home from the desert. Kyle and I have plenty of time for that then, but now, I want to enjoy my time with him just like this before I leave.

  He was right when he said we have time to talk later. We will. But now I’m going to enjoy being his and him being mine.

  Kyle flings me down onto the big bed when I yelp and laugh again as I bounce, but all the teasing and laughter dry up in my throat when he reaches behind his neck and pulls his T-shirt over his head. I don’t know what it is about the move, but it is so damn sexy. The buckle on his belt clinks and clanks as he undoes it and slowly lowers the zipper on his well-worn jeans. Even though I know what’s hidden inside them, I still bite down on my tongue to keep the whimper locked in my mouth. But the glimmer in his eyes tells me he knows how much I want him, and the smirk that twitches at the corner of his mouth as he pushes his jeans down to show he’s got nothing on underneath says he’s going to give me what I want and enjoy doing it.

  I watch as Kyle climbs up the bed and covers his body with mine. He presses his lips to mine, and I open underneath him, letting him lick into my mouth. I suck his tongue deeper as he glides his hands all over my body, touching me everywhere, lighting me on fire as he goes.

  He grabs the hem of my tank and rips it up over my head, jerking me up into his arms before he tosses the material to the ground and crushing his mouth to mine. But then just as suddenly as it started, his arms are gone, and his unexpected withdrawal has me flopping back to the bed.

  And then he’s grabbing the waistband of my leggings and panties and ripping them down my legs. The cool air of the room hits my overheated flesh, and a shiver rolls down my spine. Kyle dips his hands between my legs and grazes my center with the very tip of his index finger, making me gasp.

  He reaches over to the nightstand, now so familiar with my personal space that he knows where I keep everything. Kyle tags a condom from the drawer and tears it open before rolling it down his length. I can’t help but watch him. I could probably watch Kyle Garrett do anything—read the paper, scramble eggs, tie his shoes, whatever—but there’s something beautiful about him and the way he touches me, himself, or both of us.

  And then he’s there, covering me with his body again, as the very tip of him presses against the very center of me. I hold my breath as he slowly sinks deep inside me.

  Kyle holds me tight in his arms, and it feels like he completely surrounds me. He engulfs me as he places tender kisses to my ear, my eyes, my cheeks, the corner of my mouth, anywhere he can think of to do so as he gently makes love to me. He pulls back and looks at me.

  And then he really starts to move.

  I wrap my arms around him, tuck my legs high on his hips, and hold on as Kyle braces himself on his arms over me. He moves his body in and out of mine, and I arch my back, rocking into him with each pump of his hips. With each thrust, he drives me higher and higher.

  As we rock against each other and come together, it’s primal and raw and messy, but it’s also more. It’s anything and everything, and it’s us. He kisses me, licking into my mouth as he pistons his hips, pumping in and out of me. Moving faster and faster, I feel my climax building within me.

  I’m right on the edge, my pussy clenches around him in anticipation of the goodness that’s to come, but Kyle isn’t ready to let me fall over the edge, because he pulls back in shallow thrusts that aren’t deep enough to make me come.

  “No,” I gasp as I dig my nails into his back and try to pull him back inside me, but he just smirks. “I’m so close.”

  “I know.” I watch with rapt attention as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and bites down while he teases me. He holds me at his mercy, giving me just enough to keep me on edge but not nearly enough to send me over. It’s torture, beautiful, delicious torture.

  “Please,” I beg as he continues to tease and frustrate me.

  “You know what I want,” he says, and his voice rumbles deep and rough with sex and desire, but I’m too lost to appreciate it. I need. I need so much.

  “I don’t know,” I pant. “Please.”

  And then he lets some of his weight drop down on me, and it’s so delicious the way his body presses me deeper into the mattress. The coarse hair on his chest is rough and abrasive against the overly s
ensitive skin of my nipples. I love it. I love his weight on me, I love the way his body feels against mine, and I love the way it feels to have his cock drive deep inside me.

  And then he moves. Slowly sliding deep, as far as he can go, he presses against me, grinding the root of him against my clit. Electricity zings all through my body.

  I tip my head back and close my eyes as I moan. The contact is too good, the feeling too great. I’m not sure how much more I can take and at the same time, I want it all, I want it to never end.

  “More.” I sound drunk to my own ears, and I don’t care. “More.”

  “Tell me and I’ll give you more,” he says as he painstakingly draws back out of me.

  He drags his hard flesh against my clit again… and then again. I whimper. It’s still not enough of what I need right now, and at the same time too much.

  “Kyle,” I pant. I’m close. I’m so fucking close. I just need… more.

  “Say it,” he demands as he drives up into me, sparking something deep inside like a livewire. “Say it and I’ll let you come.”

  “Yes!” I cry out as he tips his hips again to hit both my clit and drive deep at the same time. I’ll do anything, say anything, as long as he does that again and again until he puts me out of my misery.

  “Say it. Say you’re mine,” he orders as he drives deeper, setting me on fire.

  “Yes,” I reply, holding on tight. “I’m yours.”

  “Say you know I will be here waiting for you.” He plunges hard again and then again. I’m burning up.

  “Yes.” There’s no stopping now.

  “Say you trust me to wait for you, only you,” he pleads as he thrusts long and slow again, driving us both closer and closer to the edge of madness.

  “Yes,” I whimper. “I trust you. I’m yours.”

  The words are out of my mouth before I can even think about what I’ve said, but I know it’s true. I might not be ready to share the full depth of my feelings for Kyle, but I know what I’ve shared now is enough. And it’s also true.