The Solution to Unrequited
Page 5
Evan loved how easy he fit into Mr. and Mrs. Parker’s lives, plans, and finances.
“No pressure about the future and college on Alexandra and Evan,” Mr. Parker agreed.
Mrs. Parker smiled. “All right. My answer is yes.” And then she grasped and yanked on her husband’s hand, leading him toward the dance floor and leaving Evan and AJ alone. Suddenly, the music blared, and he glanced over to find his best friend staring at him.
“You okay?” he asked.
She slowly blinked and then nodded. “I’m okay.”
“Alexandra,” her uncle George said with an apologetic smile directed to Evan. “Do you mind letting me dance with my favorite niece before she gets taken away by my old man, Evan?”
AJ laughed. “You don’t mind?”
Evan shook his head. “Not at all. Here, pass me your things and your jacket, and I’ll hold on to them while you dance.”
“You’re the best,” AJ said as she handed over her clutch and then began to unbutton her coat. Her uncle helped her out of the thick coat before she passed it to Evan. “Won’t be long.”
And then she was gone, leaving Evan as her uncle led her to the dance floor and lifted her from the ground for a moment. AJ threw back her head and laughed as her uncle flawlessly spun her around as if she was weightless. Evan watched in wonder and amazement at how carefree his best friend was when she was happy.
“She looks happy.”
He didn’t have to turn to know that it was Mr. Parker’s mother. He knew her voice and felt her presence next to him.
“Do you mean Mrs. Parker or Alexandra?”
“I mean my granddaughter,” she clarified. “My only granddaughter, Evan.” He didn’t miss the warning in her voice.
Evan glanced over at her and nodded. “I know, Mrs. Parker.”
“Grandma Louise, Evan,” she reminded.
“I know, Grandma Louise,” he said, correcting himself. “I know how important she is to you all.”
“And to you, too. Son, don’t think I missed anything on that rooftop. Her grandfather might be drunk, but I am very sober. I won’t tell my son, though. He still thinks she’s his little princess. Not that it matters if he knew.”
Evan’s brows furrowed. “I’m not sure what you mean, Grandma Louise.”
AJ’s grandmother looped her arm with Evan’s and looked out at the dance floor, staring at her granddaughter. “Every summer she spent with us, she counted the days until she got to go back home to you. No matter how much fun she had staying with us, spending time with George and Penelope and being around all her parents’ friends and children, she always missed you.”
“I missed her, too.”
“I know you did, Evan. I know you did.”
He tore his eyes from AJ being dipped by Uncle George to glance down at her grandmother. “Grandma Louise, Alexandra means the world to me.”
“I know she does,” she said, eyes still on AJ. “What is she to you?”
“She’s …” He hesitated, unsure of how to put it into words. “I don’t know if there’s a word or concept to explain what she is to me.”
Grandma Louise finally looked up at him. “I know what you both are.”
“And what is that?”
“Oh, come on, Louise! Get over here and dance with the love of your life already,” Granddad Marcus interrupted, waving his arms at them.
AJ’s grandmother unwrapped her arm from around Evan’s as she smiled and then tilted her head up at him. “I will let my daughter-in-law answer that for you while I dance with my husband. It might tire him out and cause him to pass out quicker.”
Just as Evan turned in the direction of the dance floor, he found AJ’s mother walking toward them. When she reached them, Grandma Louise smiled and said, “I leave you in Clara’s very capable hands, Evan,” before she made her way toward her husband.
“Is everything okay, Evan?” Mrs. Parker asked, the worry clouding her usually golden brown eyes.
He nodded as he glanced back at the dance floor to find AJ now dancing with her father. “Grandma Louise reminded me that AJ is her only granddaughter.”
“Ah,” Mrs. Parker breathed. “Sorry about that. She’s pretty protective over Alexandra. Well, they all are. We trust you, Evan. You don’t need to worry about us not letting you be her friend for celebrating New Year’s together on the rooftop.”
Sighing, Evan turned and set AJ’s belongings down on a free spot on the table. “Mrs. Parker,” he said.
She faced him. Her smile reminded him of his best friend. “You and Mr. Parker have always been good to me. Really good to me,” he began. “You let me into your home. You let me be part of your lives … part of your family. Why is that? Because I’m your daughter’s best friend and you have a sense of duty to make her happy?”
Mrs. Parker’s lips parted as her eyes widened. “Evan,” she said in a soft voice. Then she stepped forward and set her hands on his arms. “Yes, you make our daughter happy, and you’re a big part of her life. But we don’t let you be part of her life or ours because you’re her best friend. We let you be part of our family because you belong in our family. Sometimes, we don’t always get the family we want.” Tears glimmered AJ’s mother’s eyes. “For a long time, my brother was my family. Then I met my best friends, and I began to build a family of my own. When Noel came into my life, my family extended. His best friends became my family, and when I married Noel, I became part of his family. They’re not all related to me by blood, but they’re my family. Just like you are my family, too.
“I’ve watched you grow up alongside my daughter, Evan. I might not be your mother, Susan, but in my heart, you are very much a son to me. No matter what, okay? I felt like it was my responsibility to be part of your life and be the maternal figure you needed when your mother became more distant with her job. Because I know what it’s like to have a mother who didn’t do right by me. And no child deserves that. So in a way, yes, it’s my duty to be that person who watched you grow up. And if you ever feel like Noel and I are overstepping any boundaries, like take pictures of you during any firsts of your senior year, let us know, okay?”
“I won’t ever tell you or Mr. Parker no, Mrs. Parker. Thank you for being there for me,” he said.
Mrs. Parker’s hands left his arms and cupped his face, her thumbs brushing his cheeks as she used to do when he was a small child. “You have to give yourself credit, Evan. You let us be a part of your life, too. Thank you for giving us such a beautiful gift.”
He nodded. “Mrs. Parker, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, Evan,” she insisted, dropping her hands from his face.
“I seem to have trouble finding the right words to describe my relationship with your daughter. Mrs. Parker, Alexandra is the most important person in my world. You and Mr. Parker are, too, but Alexandra is my best friend. I feel like she’s the only person who understands me. She’s everything right in my life. See, I don’t want to be a professional baseball player, and she gets that. No one else does. She just wants me to be me and happy. I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone in my life who understands me the way she does. And I don’t think she’d ever find someone who would understand her the way I do. What I’m saying is that, Alexandra’s my … my …”
Mrs. Parker reached up and gently pressed her palm against his cheek. “She’s your soul mate,” she said in a small voice.
Evan stilled at the words.
Words he’d heard many times before.
Yet hearing them now, a sense of rightness filled him.
Filled his entire chest.
Because Mrs. Parker had blessed him with everything in a concept.
He swallowed hard, waiting for fear or doubt to rule him, but it didn’t.
Instead, that sense of rightness doubled as he said, “Your daughter is my soul mate.”
3
0 Zn
zinc
AJ
Now
As AJ waited for Landon to arrive at Cameron Indoor Stadium, she glanced at her phone’s screen to see all the recent notifications she had ignored. Unread emails from Evan and missed calls and texts from his brother, Kyle. AJ had no idea how to respond to Kyle’s betrayal. He told Evan where she attended college when he had promised her that he wouldn’t. She knew it was a childish request, but she didn’t think Kyle would ever betray her. He had never broken one of his promises before. Not like AJ could judge him, though, because she would be a hypocrite if she did. She had broken many promises in the past four months, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t hurt.
Despite all the horrible things she had done to Evan, she didn’t want to be a hateful person. She did tell Kyle she wanted him and Evan to be brothers again. That meant bridges had to mend, and AJ was the biggest broken bridge between them. The realization that Kyle was giving her what she and Evan both needed had her opening his text message.
Kyle: Alexi, I’m sorry. I had to tell him. Please forgive me. I had to. You wanted us to be brothers again, and it was the only way. I’m not proud that I found joy in hearing his pain when he called about you. But after your phone call, I thought of how it could have been me in Evan’s shoes. You could have left me behind, too. And that would have killed me, so please understand my brother’s pain. I had to tell him.
Kyle: I know Evan is at Duke with you. Are you okay? At least tell me you’re okay. I’m so sorry, Alexi. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping it from him, but it wasn’t. And I feel terrible that I betrayed you, but it was the right thing to do. He had to know, and you had to see him.
Kyle: If you never talk to me again, I understand. I do love you, Alexi, and I always will. I wish you loved me the way you love my brother, but he was always right. He understands you the way I never could. I’m sorry I said those things about you disappointing me. You could never disappoint me. You have a life in North Carolina now. I can’t expect you to drop it all for me or for a game. I still love you. Boston still loves you. The Red Sox will always love you. I miss you, Alexi, and I’m sorry I let you down today.
AJ lifted her chin and stared at the stadium doors. Kyle Gilmore, the captain of the Red Sox, said all the things she wished for when it came to her relationship with Evan. She would always love Kyle, but sometimes, he thought more about his needs than others. He was more concerned about his career and breaking records than his crumbling relationship with his brother.
But if anyone had been selfish, it was AJ.
Evan was right.
She had been unfair to so many people.
Her fears and insecurities caused so many to lie for her.
She wouldn’t let them do that again.
Because Evan had found her.
She knew they had to spend fall break together.
And that meant returning to Brookline, Massachusetts, with Evan.
She couldn’t let guilt weigh Kyle down, especially not with the play-offs coming up. She couldn’t do that to him or the Red Sox. AJ was still hurt by his actions, but he wouldn’t have had to act if she just been strong enough and stood up for herself a long time ago.
AJ: I forgive you. You were the bigger person. You did what I couldn’t. I’m hurt because I didn’t think you’d be the person who told him. In a way, I’m relieved because it was a weight I could barely manage. I don’t want you to worry about Evan or me right now. We’ll figure it out. Just concentrate on the play-offs. I’ll see you when I come home. I promise, I forgive you. I’ve made some mistakes, and I shouldn’t have let you carry the burden of my secret. That wasn’t fair. I’m sorry, Kyle.
Once AJ pressed send, she let out a relieved breath of air. Just as she slipped her phone back into her jacket pocket, she heard, “Massachusetts!” being yelled out from behind her.
She spun around to find Landon walking toward her with his stunning smile. With his glittery blue eyes, he appeared happy to see her, and she was happy to see him. But that warmth in her chest at the sight of him spiraled into a tightness that had her pressing her lips tightly together.
“Hey, Landon,” she said once he reached her.
His smile faded the moment he straightened his spine. “Okay, Alex.” He squinted at her. “That conversation we had on the phone was strange. You don’t look like everything is fine.”
“Everything will be fine.” She promised to herself more than Landon.
“But …?”
She sighed. “But I have to go home for fall break. I’m so sorry. I know we had plans for dinner, but I have to go back to Massachusetts.”
Landon’s jaw clenched as he nodded. “I thought as much.”
AJ stepped forward, placing her hand on his cheek, and whispered, “Please don’t be disappointed.”
Something was off about them.
It was their contact.
It wasn’t right anymore.
Even though it had been this morning.
But AJ knew that Evan’s presence at Duke had her unsure of everything she had done, achieved, and felt while in North Carolina. Everything she felt toward Landon felt distorted and wrong.
She knew what she felt earlier today with him, and it didn’t feel as wrong as it did right now. AJ wondered if Landon felt it, too.
The off-ness of her touch.
Her hesitation.
He must have felt it all.
A small laugh slipped from Landon’s lips as he wrapped an arm around her back and brought her close. “Hard not to be, Massachusetts, but it’s okay.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said as her hand dropped from his cheek to rest on his chest.
“Don’t be,” he insisted. His blue eyes flashed with understanding as his other arm wrapped around her. “You need to be at home for fall break. I understand.”
AJ tilted her chin a little higher to take in his face.
His eyes were almost too blue.
His hair almost too dark.
His smile too perfect.
At that moment, AJ realized she was comparing Landon Carmichael to Evan Gilmore, and that wasn’t fair. Because it was enough for her to realize that Landon could never win her heart. No matter how nice or sweet he was.
Too much of her heart called to Evan.
Too much was owned by him.
And the few pieces that went rouge were too damaged by him to want Landon completely.
“Hey,” Landon murmured.
AJ blinked at him, aware that she had blanked out on him.
“Alex, is everything back in Brookline okay? Are your parents okay? You can tell me.”
His concern for her and her family caused her lips to curve into a smile. “My parents are great, and I’m pretty sure my hometown hasn’t changed. I just need to go home and be Little Miss Red Sox for a while.”
Landon blinked at her. Then he pulled away, and his jaw dropped. “Little …?”
AJ’s nose crinkled, realizing she had never told him who she really was. “Yeah. Umm … I’m not sure if you know much about baseball, but back in Massachusetts, I’m known as Little Miss Red Sox.”
“I’ve heard that name before …” He shook his head. “You’re … My teammate …”
“Your teammate?”
Landon let out an unbelievable laugh. “He’s in love with you. He’s a fan.”
AJ felt her cheeks heat. “He’s a Red Sox fan?”
His laugh faded as his face hardened. “No. He’s a Little Miss Red Sox fan. As in he’s in love with you. I had no idea you were …”
She sighed. “I came to Duke to shake off my notoriety as Little Miss Red Sox. My family is close to Kyle Gilmore, the captain of the Red Sox, and they are in the play-offs for the World Series. I have to be back home to support him.”
It wasn�
��t a complete lie, but it was a fraction of the truth.
She did have to go home.
But not for Kyle.
For Evan.
She had never told Landon a lie.
But this.
Her and Evan.
She had to lie about.
“Is that why you have that sad look on your face, Alex? You think I’d be upset because you’re going home for … baseball?”
Her throat dried.
Unable to answer his question, she nodded.
Landon shook his head, stepped forward, and cradled her face in his palms. “Alex, I’m disappointed that we can’t spend fall break together. I wanted to spend some real time with you and not just sneak time between classes, but your friend needs you.”
“Why are you so understanding?” she asked, tilting her head at him.
“Because I know how important family is. I might not be a professional athlete in the big leagues, but I know how important it is to have someone I care about at my play-off games. So I can understand why Kyle would want you at the game. Your job as Little Miss Red Sox must be important.”
She rolled her eyes. “I never wanted to be Little Miss Red Sox,” she admitted. “It just happened. I never wanted to be known as that or be in the spotlight. I just wanted to support my friend.”
“I understand,” he said, his thumbs brushing along her cheeks. “But you can never meet my teammate—actually, none of them. You are never meeting my teammates.”
AJ pulled away from his touch. “What? Why?”
“Because you have no idea how beautiful you are and how jealous you could make me.”
And just like that, Landon forced his way past the gates of her once guarded heart and began his healing.
He thought she was beautiful.
Beautiful enough to want her for himself.
But beauty was superficial.
And AJ did not think she was.
Not when she had been told that once before.
The very moment before she chose Duke.