The Solution to Unrequited
Page 7
“I applied for Harvard, Yale, NYU, Duke, Princeton, Dartmouth, Columbia …”
“What about Brown, Cornell, and Penn?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t like their science programs.”
“It’s not about what you like right now, Alexandra. It’s about you going to a good school. An Ivy League school!”
AJ was dumbfounded by her father’s rage. Anger shot through her and caused her tears to blind her until she blinked them free. “Why does it matter if it’s an Ivy League school?” she shouted. “I applied for five out of the eight. Isn’t that enough? You went to Stanford!”
“Please don’t, Noel,” her mother begged.
Her father’s nostrils flared. “Did you apply for Stanford?”
“Of course, I did.”
“You promised,” her mother said. Her father turned to face her mother. “You promised you wouldn’t put pressure on her about college.”
It was as if her mother brought him to reality from his rage and disappointment. “I know I did. I’m sorry.” Then he turned and took several steps until he was in front of AJ. He placed his hands on her cheeks, searching her eyes until he breathed out. “I’m sorry, Alexandra. I’m sorry I lost it.”
Her lashes fluttered as she tried to blink her tears back. “I need you to understand that I made a mistake. I messed up, and I’m a disappointment. I get it. I disappointed myself when I missed the deadline. I know it was MIT. I’d give up Harvard and Yale for MIT, but I can’t. There’s nothing I can do now but hope I get into any of those other schools.” AJ stepped back, pulling away from her father. His telling eyes were all she needed to see how much she had let him down. “Why is it okay for you to be proud of Evan? You’ve always cared more about his future than mine.”
“That’s not true,” her father said.
She was so angry with herself.
So angry with her father for yelling at her.
“It’s true!” she screamed. “You’ve always invested more time into his dreams. You’re my father, for God’s sake. I know that all you’ve ever wanted was a son and someone who would follow your footsteps in accounting, and I’m not that!”
Her father reached for her, but AJ slapped his hands away. “Please, Alexandra, that’s not true. You’re my daughter, and I love you.”
AJ shook her head. “You just yelled at me!” Then she glanced over at her mother who had tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Mum. I’m so sorry.” She took several steps back.
“Alexandra,” her mother begged. “Please, don’t.”
She ignored her mother as she spun around and rushed down the hall. She swiped her car keys and purse from the table and was thankful that her uncle had parked her car on the street instead of on the driveway this morning.
“What’s going on?” She heard Uncle George ask from the top of the stairs.
AJ ignored him as she grabbed her boots from under the hallway table and quickly shoved them on.
“Alexandra, please wait!” her father pleaded behind her as she pulled the front door open and walked into the now heavy snowfall. “I’m sorry! You’re not a disappointment.”
That stopped her. She was almost to her car. She was sorry, too, but right now, she needed to be away from her family. There was no way she could go to Evan since she wouldn’t be able to explain the fight with her father.
Would her father be disappointed if she and Evan fought someday?
Would her father choose her or him?
That doubt and uncertainty in her chest made her decision final. AJ pressed the button on her keys and unlocked her car. She ran over to the driver’s side and yanked the car door open. Slipping inside, she ignored her mother and father’s pleas for her not to go.
But the moment she started her car, it was too late.
The drive in the thick snow had her worried. She wasn’t a confident driver during icy conditions, and she made sure she drove well below the speed limit. Normally, Evan or her parents drove when she needed to go anywhere. Thankfully, not many cars were on the road, and it meant she was able to take her time to carefully drive into the city.
She didn’t have a plan when she stormed out of her parents’ home and got into her car.
She still didn’t have one while she drove into Boston.
It wasn’t until she went over Harvard Bridge that she knew exactly where she was going.
AJ parked her car and sat in the driver’s seat for a few long moments, replaying her fight with her father in her head. She never fought with her parents. Sure, they had arguments and disagreements but nothing like the full-blown fight almost an hour ago. Letting out a sigh, she picked up her key from the charging slot and pulled on the door handle. Once she was out of the car, she cursed herself for still being in her New Year’s dress. Her legs were bare, being lashed at by the cold wind, but the top half of her was warm, thanks to the coat she hadn’t taken off.
Once she closed the door behind her and locked her car, AJ tilted her head back to watch the snow fall. She knew it would only get worse. Shoving her keys into her pocket, she crossed her arms over her chest as she looked both ways to see if there were any cars. When it was clear, she crossed the road as her phone continued to ring in her pocket. AJ stopped outside the entrance, hesitant to step foot on property she had no right to be stepping on. She had no right before, and she certainly didn’t now. She wasn’t as brave as Evan was. He had no fears. But AJ, she had plenty.
And it included the institution in front of her.
The very school she and her father had fought over.
AJ spun around to see if anyone was around and found herself alone. She inhaled deeply, pushed her fear aside, and walked onto the campus. Her heart beat heavily in her chest, waiting for someone to catch her and escort her off MIT grounds. But the more steps she took, the farther onto the school grounds she went.
Step after step.
The school was so quiet.
She seemed to be the only one here.
Once AJ reached the Great Dome, she untangled her arms and shoved her hands into her pockets. She no longer had the chance to attend MIT, but she knew it was no one’s fault but her own.
She had wanted MIT for so long.
But that dream was no longer hers to have.
Her future lay elsewhere.
And AJ had accepted that after she missed the deadline.
Now, being at MIT, standing in front of the very dome she and Evan had, broke her heart. Her phone vibrated once more in her hand, and she glanced down, surprised by the name she saw. Swiping her cold thumb across the screen, she answered his call and pressed her phone to her ear.
“Hey,” she said in a small voice as her eyes roamed the structure of the Great Dome.
“Hey, Alexandra,” her cousin, Will, said.
“Happy New Year.”
He let out a hum. “You should be at home.”
Her smile quickly turned into a frown. “My parents called you?”
“Yeah,” Will confirmed.
AJ chewed on her lip before she asked, “Were you asleep? It’s almost three a.m. If you were, I’m sorry.”
“Nah, I wasn’t asleep. I actually just got home from a New Year’s party a friend from high school was having. Where are you?”
“At MIT.”
“Are you okay?”
AJ spun around, deciding she’d had enough of looking at a lost dream. “I’m okay,” she confirmed as she began to make her way back to her car. Any other time, she’d stay, but she was cold, and she felt horrible.
“You know you can always talk to me.”
“I know, Will,” she said as she walked toward her car. “Was your senior year this hard? Was Uncle Alex tough on you for your choices in schools?”
Will hummed and then exhaled loudly. “Is Uncle Noel being tough on you
?”
AJ shivered as a gust of wind sent her hair flying, causing her to stop until she could get her hair under control, so she could see. “He’s disappointed that I missed MIT’s submission deadline and that I didn’t apply to all eight Ivy League schools.”
“You didn’t apply for MIT?” Will sounded shocked.
She stood at the curb and nodded even though her cousin couldn’t see. “I missed the deadline to submit my application.”
“Oh, Alexandra.” The disappointment was clear in his voice, too.
AJ checked the street for cars before she crossed it. When AJ reached her car, she pulled out her keys and heard her uncle ask, “Is that Alexandra?”
“Yeah, it is, Dad,” Will confirmed.
“Oh, thank God,” Aunt Keira said in the background.
“Can I talk to her?” Uncle Alex asked. She heard several different sounds as if the phone was being passed, then she heard, “Alexandra?”
Pulling her car door open, AJ said, “Hey, Uncle Alex,” and slipped inside, closing the door behind her.
“Are you okay? Your mother and father called to see if you had called Will. We’ve all been worried.”
Guilt consumed her.
She didn’t want her parents to worry; she just needed to get away before she or her father said something they might regret.
“I’m okay. I’m sorry, Uncle Alex. I just needed some space from Mum and Dad. It was getting too intense,” she revealed as she pressed the button to start her car and turn on the heater.
“I understand,” her uncle said. “Do you want to talk about it?”
AJ took one last look at MIT out her window, ready to put one dream to rest. Ready to continue to be a disappointment to her father for not getting into MIT or applying to all eight Ivy League schools and reaching her potential. “Not really. I’m sorry. It’s still happening in my head.”
“Your father never meant any of those things. Your mother yelled at him while I was on the phone with him.”
That caused a small laugh to escape her. “I’m sure she did. Do you know if they called Evan? I haven’t checked my phone since I was driving.”
“They didn’t say. Are you on your way home now?”
AJ glanced at the snow that covered her windshield. She had barely been away from her car for ten minutes, and the snow had already made it impossible to see through. “It’s snowing pretty hard, Uncle Alex. I think I’ll wait it out for a bit before I go home.”
“All right. Alexandra?”
“Yes?”
He took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Please call your parents. They love you and just need to know you’re okay. I know your father said things, but you have to know he is incredibly proud of who you are and what you want to be.”
Tears prickled her eyes. She had been so stupid to think her father wasn’t proud of her. She had overreacted without listening to him. But it still hurt to hear how proud her father was of Evan at the New Year’s party at G&MC. It had all combined and made her take things out of context. For that, she was sorry, but her father had yelled at her. Made her question her future and made her think her choices weren’t her own. And that had upset her.
“I know, Uncle Alex. Hey, I’d better let you go. Tell Will I said thanks for the talk. I’ll call you all later. I’m just gonna wait for my car to warm up before I drive.”
“All right. I love you, Alexandra.”
AJ blinked her tears away. “I love you, too, Uncle Alex,” she said. When she hung up, she looked at all the missed calls and text messages. The guilt punched her in the stomach, making her feel sick. Shaking her head, AJ reached over and pulled her seat belt across her body and clicked it in place, ready to drive through the snow.
The drive had been slow due to the poor visibility caused by the snow. She started to worry she had made a wrong turn, but she found her way. She knew the moment the door opened that she would have a lot of explaining to do, so she had mentally gone through possible scenarios in her head. Nodding to herself, AJ knocked on the door and waited.
There was a rush of footsteps, and then the door opened with relief consuming his face.
“Yeah, she’s at my door,” Kyle said as he stepped aside and welcomed her into his penthouse apartment.
AJ walked inside, and when she heard the door shut, she spun around and shot him an apologetic smile. He shook his head at her as if he was saying that it was okay.
“Yes, I’m looking at her right now. Clara, she’s safe, and she doesn’t look hurt.” Kyle nodded as he waved his hand and led her farther into his apartment. He had one of the best views of Boston from his living room. It was one of her favorite ways to look at the city. When she made it to the couch and sat down, Kyle said, “I know, Clara. I can ask her if she wants to talk.” Kyle pulled the phone away from his ear and handed it to her.
AJ knew her parents would worry if she didn’t tell them she was safe. There was no way she was going to drive back to Brookline right now with the weather. The supposed almost ten-minute drive to Kyle’s took almost twenty. It was safer to stay at Kyle’s if he’d let her. Covering the speaker, AJ tilted her head up to him as he shook his head at her.
“I’m not letting you drive home, Alexi. It’s almost three thirty in the morning,” he stated. “You’re staying with me tonight.”
Her heart swelled, and her lips spread into an appreciative smile. “Thanks, Kyle.”
The captain of the Red Sox bent his knees and pressed a kiss to the top of her damp hair. “I’ll grab you a towel to dry off and some clothes. We’ll talk. Just reassure your mother that you’re safe.”
“I will,” she promised as she brought the phone to her ear and watched Kyle leave the living room. “Hello, Mum.”
“Oh, thank God,” her mother cried. “Alexandra, are you okay?”
AJ reached up and unbuttoned her jacket. “I’m fine, Mum. I’m so sorry I just left like that. I don’t know what got into me. I was just so angry with Dad.”
Her mother sighed. “I know. He just spent the past hour driving around with your uncle looking for you. You went to MIT?”
“Uncle Alex told you?”
“Yeah,” her mother confirmed. “Do you want your father to come get you?”
AJ took off her coat and said, “No, it’s okay. The snow out there is crazy. I’m going to stay with Kyle if that’s okay?”
Her mother sniffled. “I’d rather you come home, but I don’t want you driving. I was so wor—Noel, she’s safe. I’m on the phone with her.”
“Can I talk to her?” Her father sounded desperate. “Clara, I promise I won’t yell at her. Please let me tell my daughter I love her and that I’m sorry.”
“Alexandra?” her mother asked.
AJ bit her lip. She knew she couldn’t stay mad at her father for long. She already felt a mountain of guilt. She couldn’t let him go to bed feeling bad. “Mum, please put Dad on.”
“Okay.”
It was silent for a second before her father said, “Alexandra?”
“I’m here, Dad,” she confirmed in a small voice.
To her surprise, she heard her father sob. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry, Alexandra. I didn’t mean to get so angry with you. It was a shock to hear that you didn’t apply to MIT since I know you’ve wanted that for so long. I thought Stanford was just one of those phases. I’m sorry. I am so sorry that I neglected to tell you how proud I am of you. Alexandra, you must think I am the most awful father, and I am so sorry. I just want the best for you. And I always thought that would be MIT because that was your dream, and you deserve your dream.”
She let her eyes fall closed. “Dad,” she whispered.
The sound of footsteps had her opening her eyes. Kyle entered the living room with a towel and some fresh clothes. Then he took a seat on the leather couch and gave her a reass
uring smile.
“I’m not disappointed in you, Alexandra. I would be if you followed my footsteps and pursued business because that’s not you. You love science, and that’s what I want you to do. And if it’s not at MIT, you have my support. I’m sorry I lost my temper. I care about Evan, but you will always be my number one priority. You’re my daughter, Alexandra, and I love you.”
“I’m sorry, too, Dad. I didn’t mean to be so cruel. You guys didn’t call Evan, did you?”
“No, but we were about to.”
AJ sighed in relief. She was glad they didn’t go to him. He was the reason they fought, and she didn’t want her best friend to feel guilty because of it. Especially since he had praised her for allowing her parents to be parents to him. Praise she now did not deserve.
“Thank you. I don’t want Evan to feel bad.” AJ glanced over to find the concern on Kyle’s face at the mention of his brother. She reached over and covered his hand with hers to reassure him. “Dad, I’ll talk to you later. It’s late, and I’m tired.”
“You’re not coming home?”
Kyle flipped his hand over and clutched hers. She appreciated his support. “I’m gonna stay at Kyle’s. You saw the snow. It’s bad out there. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she promised.
“All right. I love you, Alexandra. Could you let me speak to Kyle for a moment?”
AJ’s brows met in confusion, but she did not argue with her father. “I love you, too. Here’s Kyle.” She handed Kyle the phone.
She watched as Kyle began to nod and say, “Of course,” “I promise,” and finally, “Noel, I’ll take care of Alexi. I promise. Yes, she’s sleeping in the guest room, and no other woman has slept in it. All right. Good night, Noel.” Kyle lowered the phone and then hung up. “We’re not to share a bed tonight, Alexi. Strict orders from your father.”
AJ groaned as her hand slipped away from his. “I was gonna take the couch, but since you offered your guest room, I’m taking it.”
Kyle laughed lightly as he set his phone down on the couch and then handed her a large red T-shirt. AJ held it up to find that it was a Boston Red Sox training tee.