A Chance In Time

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  She placed the mirror and brush back in the drawer and shut it before she turned to get dressed. There was nothing she could do about her attire. If he decided to stay, she’d buy a better dress. If he didn’t...She sighed. If he didn’t, then what would be the point?

  Gathering her courage, she opened the front door and dragged the metal tub so she could empty it on the grass. Then she placed it out in the sun to dry. Wiping her hands on her dress, she went to see where Cole was. She decided she would ask him what he wanted for lunch. That was innocent enough, and it gave her an excuse to see him. And let him see her.

  She found him hammering a wood post into the ground with a sledgehammer. Examining the distance between him and the barn and the erected posts, she said, “You are making a long fence.”

  “I want the horses to have plenty of room to roam,” he replied. He tested the post, seeming to be satisfied, and turned to her. His eyes widened, and he took a moment before he spoke. “I see you finally got that bath you’ve been wanting.”

  “Yes.” Despite the cooling wind, her face felt hot. If she could calm the racing of her heart, it’d help. “I feel better. Cleaner.”

  He smiled. “You look nice.”

  She returned his smile despite the nervous flutter in her stomach. “Thank you.”

  “Did you come out to watch me build the fence?”

  “Actually, I came to find out what you want to eat at lunch.”

  “Anything you make will be fine.”

  She nodded. This wasn’t exactly conducive to a conversation. Glancing at the stack of fence posts six yards away from them, she asked, “Do you want to teach me how to do this, like you did with the roof?”

  He wiped the sweat off his forehead. “I can teach you how to repair this fence, but that should wait until I’m done. There’s no sense in you knowing how to do this part.”

  “Are you thirsty?”

  “A little.”

  “I’ll get you something to drink.” She turned to go back to the house when he stopped her.

  “I found a canteen in the cellar. It’s never been used, so I filled it up with water and brought it with me.”

  She sighed. She didn’t know what else to talk about, and she had no reason to come back before lunch was ready. But she didn’t want to be alone. Maybe she’d be fine with it if she knew he’d stay. She didn’t know though. She watched him as he went to retrieve several posts and brought them beside them.

  “There’s no sense in running back and forth for each one,” he explained as he picked one up. He found a place for it and pressed it into the ground. “It’s been ten years since I did anything like this.”

  Finally, something to go on! “What did you do for those ten years?”

  He took the sledgehammer and pounded the top of the post. “I think you could say I was a scientist. I tried to figure out if some things were possible or not.”

  “Really? Like what?”

  He hesitated for a moment. “You know Thomas Edison?”

  “You worked with him?”

  “No. I do things similar to what he does. I invent things.”

  “What kind of things?”

  He finished pounding the post into the ground and took a deep breath before he faced her. “I don’t know how to explain it. I mean, it’s nothing you would be familiar with.”

  “Can you describe it?”

  He glanced at the sky before he exhaled and shook his head. “No. I can’t.”

  “Are you going back to it?”

  As soon as she asked the question, she cut off the eye contact with him. Instead, she focused on the post and mentally noted the precision with which he had managed to set it up. He obviously was better trained for this kind of thing than Randy had been.

  “No, I’m not,” Cole replied.

  She dared a look in his direction. Should she even ask him what he was planning? Deciding to hedge on the topic, she said, “You’ve done a lot to help me out here. I appreciate it.”

  “It’s the least I can do.” He smiled and grabbed another post. “This is actually fun. I didn’t enjoy construction as much as I enjoy this.”

  “Maybe you can keep doing this.” This time she didn’t look away, even though her heart raced and cheeks grew warm. She fiddled with the fabric on her dress.

  He glanced her way, and she wished she could decipher the message in his eyes but she had no idea what he was thinking or what he meant when he answered with a vague “Maybe.” Then he returned to his task.

  Deciding against bringing up more of this topic than she already had, she said, “I’ll get started on lunch,” and strolled back to the house.

  Maybe. Why did he tell her “Maybe”? Cole chastised himself for saying that word. But then, one could reason that he didn’t mean that he’d do this kind of work here...with her. No. He knew what “Maybe” implied, and it was wrong for him to hint that he might stay here. It wasn’t fair to her. A woman who spent a year of her life alone didn’t need to believe that she’d never be lonely again.

  Cole knew all too well the bitter sting of loneliness. Marriage didn’t guard against the emotion. After all, he’d been married and felt more alone during that disaster than he had after the divorce when he was physically alone. In some ways, being married to a woman who committed adultery was a worse kind of loneliness. It meant outright rejection. Yes, there were times when one was better off staying single.

  Being married to Penelope wouldn’t be like that. It’d actually be everything he hoped his first marriage would have been. He sighed. Penelope was a good woman. Why hadn’t anyone married her yet? It couldn’t be because she couldn’t have children. That was the stupidest reason he’d ever heard for a man not to marry a woman.

  He shook his head and returned to setting up the fence posts. Just as he didn’t understand some women, he guessed it was fair to say he didn’t understand some men either. Maybe some people, in general, were dumb.

  Chapter Nine

  The day came when Penelope had exhausted all of her supplies and needed more. She’d delayed the trip for as long as she could. Cole hooked up the horses, and he had the clothes he’d been wearing when she found him. There was no reason to believe he was coming back with her. He’d given her no indication he was. Though she did her best to look pleasing to him, he hadn’t said anything more than that she looked nice...and that was the day when he started putting up the fence.

  She didn’t know whether to scream or cry. Or she could slap him. What was wrong with him anyway? Couldn’t he tell she loved him and would do what she could to make him happy? Wasn’t she pretty enough for him? Or was the place he came from so important that he couldn’t stay? Or maybe he planned to come back with her. Just because he wore his clothes instead of Randy’s, it didn’t mean he was leaving.

  She groaned. There was only one way she’d know. She was going to have to ask him. Then she’d know and be prepared for it if he was leaving. Taking a deep breath, she left the cabin and shut the door behind her.

  “Are you ready?” he called out to her.

  She nodded and walked over to him. She waited until he faced her before she spoke. “Will you stay in town?” There. She couldn’t get any more blunt than that. Exhaling, she anxiously waited for his response.

  But he didn’t answer her. Instead, he held his hand out toward her. He wouldn’t even look her in the eye.

  This wasn’t good. It couldn’t be good. But she needed those supplies, so she had to go to town. She accepted his hand, even though a part of her wanted to stand still and demand an answer. If he was leaving, why wouldn’t he just say it? Why make her hope? And when did he ever give you hope? Really, he didn’t give an indication that he was going to stay. Knowing that didn’t make the sting any less painful.

  He walked to the other side of the wagon and hopped in beside her.

  She gathered the reins and released the brake. He had every right to go. She wished she knew where he was going to. What was more impor
tant than her? It wasn’t his job. It had to be something. Maybe...Could he be married? The thought hadn’t occurred to her before.

  She clenched the reins in her hands as she urged the horses forward. She didn’t want to think it. But what if it was true? Dare she even ask? No. She couldn’t. She didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to think she might have fallen in love with someone she had no right to love.

  But if he was married, then he needed to go home to his wife. It was only right. And that would explain everything, wouldn’t it? What other reason could there possibly be?

  She glanced in his direction for a moment. He looked unhappy but didn’t speak. Perhaps this hurt him as much as it hurt her. Still, if he was married, then they had to do the right thing. Settling into the silence that hovered between them, she turned her gaze forward.

  ***

  Cole studied Penelope’s profile as she steered the wagon into town. He wanted to remember her, to sear her beauty into his memory forever. He’d miss her when he left. It was a real shame that they weren’t allotted more time together. Had she been born in his time, or he born in hers, perhaps things would have ended differently.

  He decided that he could at least load her wagon full of supplies before he left. She stopped the horses in front of the general store, and he got out first so he could help her down.

  She took his hand and thanked him.

  When they entered the store, she gave the owner a list of supplies she needed, and Cole helped the owner fill her wagon. Once Cole loaded the last box, he glanced at the train station.

  “When is the next train due to leave for Fargo?” he asked the owner.

  “About an hour from now.”

  “Thanks.”

  Cole stood by the wagon, watching Penelope fiddle with her long sleeves as she waited for him. She looked at him and he sensed the unspoken question in her eyes. She’d asked him if he’d be returning with her, but he hadn’t said. He couldn’t. His future wasn’t here with her, and if she knew what kind of man he was, she wouldn’t have him.

  He’d anticipated getting back on the train, but now he dreaded it. Taking a deep breath, he approached her. “Would you like to get something to eat? It’s been a long time since you’ve been to a restaurant.”

  It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, he knew, but she nodded and strolled with him to the restaurant. During their meal, they didn’t say much to each other. He couldn’t think of anything to talk about. How did a man say, “I think I’m falling in love with you but I can’t stay” to the most wonderful woman in the world? He couldn’t, so he didn’t. He lingered for as long as he dared, but the hour came to a close and he needed to get on the train. This was where they were meant to part. She’d go her way. He’d go his. And he’d dream of her every night for the rest of his life, wondering if she would think of him and wondering if she found a good man, a decent man, to marry.

  He walked her back to the wagon, and she turned to him. The wind blew the stray strands of her hair around her head. Her blue eyes looked up at him. He tried to stop himself, wanted to stop, but he couldn’t. He closed his eyes and kissed her. Her lips were soft, the softest he’d ever felt on a woman. And despite the fact that they were in public in the late 1800s, he took her in his arms and deepened the kiss. She responded to him, matching his passion with hers, and he marveled that he could mean so much to her in the short time they’d known each other.

  He reluctantly let her go, aware of the stares from onlookers.

  She smiled at him. “Cole, we can find a preacher and get married. I hoped you loved me, and I love you too.”

  He almost said yes and took her to the first preacher they could find but then he caught sight of his reflection in the store window and remembered who he was.

  “I can’t,” he softly said, hating the words even as he spoke them. He saw the hurt in her eyes and quickly looked away. “You’ll do better without me.”

  “You’re wrong.” She moved close to him and rested her hand on his arm. “Please stay.”

  He winced. “I have to go. I don’t belong here. I’m sorry.”

  Before she could further protest, he strode away from her. He knew she watched him, but he refused to look back because he knew if he did, he’d end up running back to her. His hand wrapped around the time travel device in his pocket. Fargo. He had to get to Fargo. He entered the train station. It was small but Blake was nowhere in sight, and the train came to a stop.

  He glanced out the window and clenched his jaw, refusing to let the image of Penelope still watching him change his mind. He’d come too far to turn back now. He’d find a way to make it up to her. He’d bury the gold where she could find it. Her future would be secure. He’d do one thing right in life before he died.

  ***

  He must be married. That was the only reason why he would leave. Penelope knew the intensity in his kiss meant he loved her. There was no mistaking it. She’d been kissed by the man her parents wanted her to marry, and she’d been kissed by Randy. She knew the difference between a kiss given out of obligation and one given out of love. And Cole loved her.

  She stared out the window of her sister-in-law’s house. The train had left a good hour ago. Cole was on it, heading off to who knew where...and probably to his wife.

  “You haven’t moved from that spot since you got here,” her sister-in-law softly spoke.

  Penelope turned from the window that faced the train tracks. “I’m sorry, Sandra.”

  The older woman smiled and motioned to the couch in the parlor. “We have the house to ourselves at the moment. Once Lawrence brings the children back from his parents’, we won’t have any peace.”

  She accepted the invitation and sat down. What point was there in looking out the window? Cole wasn’t coming back. Maybe if she said that to herself long enough, she’d believe it.

  Sandra settled next to her. “How have you been doing?”

  “Fine.”

  “Penelope, I know that we don’t know each other well. My brother took you out to the middle of nowhere right after you two married. Granted, we see each other the few times you come to town, but you haven’t looked this sad since he died.”

  She took a deep breath, wishing Randy’s sister hadn’t been the type that was so perceptive. “I met someone.”

  “And?”

  “And nothing. He just left on the train.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  Penelope hesitated but realized that she needed someone to talk to. Sandra was Randy’s sister, and it almost felt like a sacrilege to admit she loved another man...despite the fact that Randy was no longer alive. To her relief, Sandra didn’t balk at the thought of her falling in love with someone else.

  Sandra took her hand in hers. “If Cole is married, then this is for the best.”

  “I know. But if he isn’t...”

  “If he isn’t?”

  “Then why didn’t he stay?”

  She offered a sympathetic smile. “I’m afraid that’s something you’ll never know.”

  It was true...and obvious.

  “Will you stay here a couple of days? The kids would like to see you.”

  Penelope nodded. “Yes, I can do that.” And if Cole returned, then she’d be close by. She chided herself on such thinking. He’s not coming back and no amount of wishing or praying will make that happen. Turning back to the conversation, she asked, “How old are my two nieces and nephew now?”

  “Would you believe they are ten, seven and three?”

  “Already?” She sighed. “Time goes fast.” Though out in the middle of the prairie where her little home stood, it seemed to stand still. It seemed as if the world moved on without her.

  “Oh, you’ll have to meet Martha.”

  “Who’s Martha?”

  “She’s an Indian. We don’t know what tribe she’s from or her real name. She doesn’t speak English, and we don’t speak her language either. She arrived in town off one of the train cars, and not the
one you pay to be on.”

  “She hopped a train?”

  Sandra nodded. “The men found her when they were unloading crates of supplies for the general store. They brought her to the church and the preacher and his wife took her in.”

  “I wonder why she would leave her tribe?”

  “I suspect the fact that she’s expecting had something to do with it. Of course, it’s all speculation on our part. No one will know the truth until she learns our language. Anyway, this Sunday, you’ll get a chance to meet her.”

  “Alright.”

  Sandra stood and smoothed her skirt. “The kids will be home any minute. Let’s get your things put away. I’m sure they’ll want to talk your ear off.”

  Penelope joined her in walking up the narrow stairs. She welcomed the chance to be surrounded by children who weren’t old enough to ask her questions about her love life...or a lack thereof. It might be the thing she needed to take her mind off Cole and what could’ve been.

  Chapter Ten

  Penelope knelt in front of Randy’s tombstone and let her tears fall. She’d spent a week with Sandra, and now it was time to leave. This was her last stop before heading back to her home. The home she and Randy planned to stay at...where they were supposed to grow old together. She placed the flowers down and leaned against the tombstone. She didn’t know why it made her feel close to him when she did that.

  “You should have taken me with him,” she prayed. “Why did you separate us?”

  It seemed like a cruel twist of fate to escape a life of misery with a man who wouldn’t love her to find one that did--one that died before his time. But even as she mourned Randy’s passing, her thoughts were on Cole. Twice she had loved...twice she had been loved...and both men were taken from her. One she buried. The other she watched board a train to never see again.

  She hadn’t slept well. Each night, she rolled over in the bed in Sandra’s house to either see Randy lying beside her or Cole lying on the floor. Visiting Randy’s sister brought back his memories with surprising force. A part of her would always love him. Cole hadn’t replaced him. But Cole had another part of her now. And even though he was alive, she couldn’t have him.