Bring Me Flowers (Garden of Love 5)
Page 14
Kendra flipped her hair behind her shoulder and flashed a mischievous smile. “I’ll email Trevor,” she said, “if you go to Brandon’s wedding.”
***
Jacob exited the front door of Green Valley Middle School, ready for the weekend and dreading it at the same time. If he had to spend another day without Kristin--he couldn’t stand to think about it. She hadn’t contacted him all week, in fact he had barely seen her.
Walking to his car, he considered stopping by her place on his way home. She had agreed to dinner the last time he had asked; of course that had been before the kisses he had been unable to resist giving her one week ago. He didn’t know if that had been a mistake or not. Either way he would remember it forever. He had never felt this way about any woman before. But he would be patient; He had to. It was the one thing Kristin had asked of him, and he had to respect her space--for the moment.
He lowered himself into the driver’s side of his sedan and placed his briefcase on the passenger seat, remembering the times she had sat there. He started the car and secured his seat belt. Putting the car in reverse, he turned to look through the rear window. His head snapped back to the front. No, he had not imagined it. Under his left wiper blade a white piece of paper flapped in the mild breeze.
He put the car into Park, removed his seat belt, and opened the door. Stepping out, he reached for the paper and returned to the confines of the driver’s seat before unfolding the note and letting his eyes fall on the delicate handwriting. He read the words and smiled. Sunday... He could wait until then.
***
On Sunday afternoon Kristin circled the parking lot of the Riverview restaurant three times before spotting a couple getting into their car. Flipping on her turn signal and waiting for the car to back out, she checked her watch. Only ten minutes late, she sighed. Not bad for me.
Pulling her compact car into the narrow space, she turned off the engine, pulled her umbrella from the floor of the passenger side, and made a mad dash from the far corner of the pavement to the front door. Her umbrella wasn’t much protection from the whipping rain, and she shook off as much water as possible before pulling the door open and stepping inside.
“I’m with the Swan party,” she told the hostess who directed her toward a banquet room where her family took up three long tables arranged in a horseshoe pattern. Finding the last empty chair between Kendra and her brother, she apologized for her tardiness and felt relieved to see the waitresses had not made it to their end of the table. She scanned the menu but already knew what she wanted: a sirloin steak with a baked potato and a side salad, her standard order whenever her family gathered here for various special occasions. Today they had come to celebrate her parents’ thirty-fifth wedding anniversary.
She was late because Kendra had asked her at church this morning if she would like to go shopping with her after they were finished here and then catch a movie, so she had tried to get as much of her work done as possible. She wasn’t quite finished and told Kendra so.
“We can catch an early movie,” Kendra said. “I think I know what I want to get at the mall. We shouldn’t be too long.”
“I thought you said you needed my help picking out a wedding gift?”
“I do,” Kendra said. “But I have a few ideas. Do you know what you’re getting? I was thinking we could go together on something.”
“I’m not sure I’m even going, remember?”
“Well, you could send something with me,” she said.
Kristin didn’t reply. The more she thought about attending Brandon’s wedding next weekend, the more she didn’t want to. It had been three weeks since she’d heard of his engagement, and although the initial shock had worn off, she felt hollow inside. Pushing her depressed thoughts aside, she turned her attention to her family surrounding them. Today marked an admirable milestone for her beloved parents, and she would celebrate with them, not wallow in her own troubles.
While she waited for their food to arrive, she made her way around the tables to say hello to everyone. Kevin and his wife sat on her right along with their three daughters. Kari and her husband were across from her along with their two children. Kelli and Lance took up the end along with the twins, four-year-old Kaylee, and baby William sitting in a highchair. Across the room she chatted with her grandparents and various aunts, uncles, and cousins who had come.
“I’d like to make a toast,” she heard her father say as she returned to her seat. “To my beautiful, loving wife of thirty-five years. Mother of five children, and a wonderful woman of God. I pray for many more years together with her, and I thank God for her putting up with me.”
“Here, here,” many echoed around the room, and then Kevin stood to make a toast of his own.
“I think I speak for all five of us,” he said. “To Mom and Dad who raised us well and continue to love and support us in our adult lives. Thank you for the godly heritage you instilled in us and for showing each of us how to love by loving each other for all these years.”
Kristin clinked her glass of water with those within reach. Her appreciation for her parents and her family grew a little more, being reminded of how rare they were. She had been griping all day about Kendra wanting to go shopping with her this afternoon and maybe to a movie, instead of being grateful they were so close.
Grabbing her arm, she whispered in her ear. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a grouch. I love you.”
Kendra turned with surprise but didn’t hesitate to reach out and embrace her. They held each other tight and when Kendra released her, she apologized also.
“I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you to go to the wedding. You do whatever is best for you. I’ll support you either way.”
“Thanks, Kendra. Although I think if we go together, I’ll be all right.”
Kendra smiled and leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Don’t you dare tell anyone this, but I emailed Trevor yesterday.”
Kristin met her sister’s dancing brown eyes. “Oh, Ken. You know how I hope that turns out.”
“I know. Me too,” she said. “We’ll see.”
Driving back to her duplex when the family celebration came to an end, Kristin pulled onto her street and approached her driveway, noticing Kendra had fallen back somewhere in the last few blocks. Her sister had suggested they change before going to the mall, and she had agreed. She didn’t want to hike around the mall in a dress and low heels. Kendra may say she knew what she wanted, but Kristin knew better. With Kendra, going to the mall never turned out to be a quick trip.
Knowing they would be taking Kendra’s car to the mall, she hit the garage-door opener and pulled into the small covered area. Kendra had not arrived when she stepped out, so she left the garage door open and went inside. She had changed into a pair of jeans and a lightweight sweater when she heard the doorbell ring.
“Good grief, Kendra, you always just walk in. What’s with the manners this time?” she said, swinging the front door open and freezing in place when she saw who stood on the porch.
“Jacob!” she gasped.
He appeared confused. “Hey,” he said. “Did I get the time wrong?” Digging into his coat pocket, he pulled out a slip of paper. “Or did you forget about leaving this on my car?”
She took the plain white paper from him and read the script that looked a lot like her writing, but she knew it wasn’t.
Jacob, I’m sorry I haven’t called, but I’ve had some thinking to do. Come by on Sunday at four o’clock if you can. Kristin.
“Kendra,” she said, shaking her head. Looking at the empty driveway and onto the street, she realized she’d been duped. “I’m afraid we’ve been set up, Jacob. I’m sorry.”
“Your sister wrote this?”
She nodded.
“You don’t want to see me?”
She did want to see him. The last week had been difficult for her, only speaking to him at school when necessary and yet thinking of that amazing kiss at all hours of the day. Leaning against the do
or frame, she fumbled with a button on her sweater. She couldn’t turn him away, she didn’t want to, but she didn’t feel ready to--to what? She had no idea what she was doing.
“Kristin, if you want me to go--” he paused. “I admit I was looking forward to coming, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
She closed her eyes briefly before lifting them to his handsome and caring face and drawing in a deep breath. “Could we go for a drive?”
He smiled. “Are you sure?”
She nodded and went for her shoes and coat, followed him to his car, and once again found herself sitting in the front passenger seat. He joined her from the other side.
“Where would you like to go?” he asked.
“I don’t care,” she said. “Anywhere is fine.”
“Are you in the mood for seafood?” he asked, flashing that irresistible grin.
She could only smile. “Sure, why not?”
He backed onto the street and headed for the highway. She made up her mind to relax and enjoy the ride. She felt too confused and emotionally spent to do anything else.
“Any idea why your sister put that note on my car?” Jacob asked, breaking the silence.
She smiled. “With Kendra, who knows? She forgot to take that class about big sisters trying to run little sisters lives instead of the other way around.”
“I hope you won’t be too rough on her,” he said. “I’m very grateful.”
She didn’t know if she had done the right thing by going along with Kendra’s scheme, but hearing that Jacob wanted to be with her thrilled her, even if she couldn’t admit that to him.
A comfortable silence surrounded them, and Kristin relaxed. She felt content being with Jacob. He didn’t try to get her to talk about Brandon but left her to her own thoughts between various topics of conversation. She did a lot of thinking on the hour-long drive. Before last weekend, she had prayed about whether or not she should allow something to happen between them. She hadn’t heard God telling her no. She still didn’t. Although, she hadn’t been discussing the matter with Him this week.
She felt like God was saying He would take care of her if she took the chance, but she didn’t hear Him say everything was going to be fine. She wanted that guarantee, but He wasn’t giving it to her. She didn’t know if she could do this without it.
After another enjoyable dinner filled with relaxed conversation and intimate glances, they returned to the picturesque lighthouse viewpoint along the highway, catching the sun dipping into the hazy horizon. Kristin waited for Jacob to open the door for her, then stepped out to look over the vast ocean surface.
She felt Jacob come up behind her and wrap his arms around her waist. She didn’t attempt to pull away. After a few moments, he spoke.
“I’m sure having Brandon walk out of your life brought you a lot of pain, and I can understand how it would be difficult for you to trust someone again.”
She waited for him to continue.
“You can worry about us not being compatible, or a dozen other things. But please don’t worry about me having mediocre feelings toward you. My heart is beating so fast right now--”
She felt his arms envelop her further and his cheek rest against her hair. “I don’t regret kissing you that night, and I never will, no matter where the road leads us. But I won’t do it again until you’re ready.”
Feeling her own heart doing double-time in her chest, she resisted the temptation to turn around and invite him to kiss her like that again.
He held her for several minutes, not attempting to do anything more. For now she would let things be as they were. She wasn’t ready to open her heart, but she couldn’t step out of his warm embrace either.
CHAPTER TEN
“Good night,” Kristin said, watching Jacob step away from the door. He waved, and she turned to go inside. Heading straight for the phone, she pushed the speed dial for Kendra but got her voice mail.
“You are in such big trouble!” she said in mock-seriousness. “I can’t believe you did that to me. Although I have to admit it was good to see him again. Call me if you want the juicy details.”
Hanging up the phone, she sat down at the table to finish grading papers. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was later than she thought. After Jacob had driven her home, they had sat out in the car and talked longer than she realized.
With her permission he called her every night that week. Each time they talked for close to an hour. It seemed they never ran out of things to say, and each time she found herself laughing more and worrying less.
“Well, I suppose I should let you go,” he said on Friday evening after they had been talking for fifty-five minutes. “I know you have to drive to Portland tomorrow.”
She hesitated before responding. Her decision to attend Brandon’s wedding hadn’t come easy, but she had decided she needed to go. If I go, it will prove that I’m over him and that I can let myself move on with Jacob.
“Are you there?” Jacob’s voice broke into her thoughts.
“Yes,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Jacob?”
“Yes?”
“Will you go with me tomorrow, to the wedding?”
“Sure, if you want me to.”
“I do.”
“Okay. Do you want me to drive us?”
“That would be good,” she said. “To tell you the truth, I’m really, really nervous about going, and I’m not sure you would want to be putting your life in my hands.”
“What time should I come by?” he asked, his gentle laugh coming over the line. She wished she could see his smile.
“We should leave by ten.”
“I’ll be there,” he said. “Will you wear my favorite dress?”
She smiled. “Good night, Jacob. See you tomorrow. And Jacob?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“Anything for you, Kristi. Anything.”
Kristin tossed and turned all night. At first she couldn’t get to sleep, wondering how she would react to seeing Brandon marrying someone else. She didn’t want to be angry or jealous, but she couldn’t help herself.
Once she fell asleep, strange dreams haunted her. In one she couldn’t find the church and kept driving around the same block looking for the building that had disappeared. She kept telling herself she had to find it and stop the wedding. In another dream she made it on time and remained calm and felt happy for Brandon until she saw the bride walking down the aisle and saw that Josie looked like her. She tried to get the attention of Kendra and others to tell them he did want her after all, but an impostor had taken her place, but no one seemed to hear her, not even Brandon when she ran up on the stage.
Waking to the music coming from her clock radio, she didn’t feel well rested, but dragged herself out of bed anyway, determined to get the day over with. In the shower she kept telling herself everything would be fine, that she needed to get through the day, be happy for Brandon and his bride, and enjoy the time with Jacob. At least she wouldn’t be going alone. Facing Brandon and everyone else would be easier with him by her side. Everyone would be able to see that she had moved on, that she had someone too.
Dressing in the pale-blue dress Jacob had requested, she pictured herself standing in the reception line awaiting her turn to congratulate the bride and groom and wondered what Brandon’s reaction would be to seeing her there. Would he accept a hug from her? Would he look at her like some kind of insect rather than his former fiancée?
Stop it! This day is not about you. It’s about Brandon. Face it, he has moved on. You are of no importance to him anymore. He doesn’t give you a second thought. Get over it!
The same thoughts kept coming back throughout the rest of the morning and when they stopped for lunch south of Portland. With the wedding less than an hour away, Kristin couldn’t imagine the bride being as nervous. Most of her hamburger remained uneaten when Jacob reached across the table and took her hand.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
Feeling nauseous, she could not look at him. This was all wrong. She shouldn’t be going to this wedding. She didn’t belong there.
“Kristi?” Jacob tried again. “You look a little pale. Do you want to go lie down in the car?”
Pulling her hand from his, she wrapped her uneaten food and tossed it on the tray. “I want to go home,” she said, blinking back the tears.
“Now?”
“Yes. I want to go home. I’m sorry we drove all the way up here, but I can’t go to the wedding,” she said, rising from her chair. “I can’t.”
She fled to the privacy of the car to have a good cry, thankful to find Jacob had left it unlocked and didn’t follow her. Her heart felt like a knife had pierced right through it, and all the feelings of rejection she had been holding on to for months welled up inside her, seeming to come from a bottomless pit of buried emotions.
Every time she tried to stop, fresh thoughts of her not being good enough for a wonderful guy like Brandon sprung up and left her wondering how long it would take Jacob to realize all her faults that would drive him away too. She couldn’t see him anymore and risk that kind of rejection again.
His door opening startled her, and his sudden presence made her bury the emotions. Brushing back the tears and wiping her nose on the tissue he offered her, she forced her tears to stop and felt determined to hold the rest in until he took her home.
When he didn’t start the car right away, she looked up. He was looking at her with more love in his eyes than she could take. Fresh tears begged to come forth, but she swallowed hard to keep them buried.
“Do you want to go home?” he asked.
She nodded, expecting him to grant her wish.
Feeling his warm hand on her cheek, she met his eyes once again, unprepared for his intense stare or his words.
“I think you need to go,” he said.
Her feelings of hurt about Brandon turned to anger toward him. “Take me home, Jacob.”