Bring Me Flowers (Garden of Love 5)

by Melanie Wilber

  “Hello, Kathleen,” he said. “Good to see you.”

  “Nice to see you,” she replied politely, doing her best to be nice without being too nice. Drew asked her out on a regular basis. So far she had managed to brush him off. Most people had begun to assume she and Jon were divorced now. And for all intents and purposes, they might as well be, but until Jon took that final step, she didn’t feel free to be pursuing anyone else. She had no desire to either.

  “Did you get my card?” Drew asked.

  “Yes. That was so sweet. Thank you.”

  “Do you have plans for lunch?”

  Uh-oh. He’s getting trickier. “Not really,” she replied honestly.

  A familiar face coming up the aisle saved her. “Oh, Kendra,” she said, turning her attention from Drew. “I have your money.”

  Kendra waited while she dug in her purse for her wallet and took out some cash. Kathleen didn’t hurry, hoping Drew would turn his attention to one of the most beautiful and available young women in the church. Every twenty-something guy had his eye on Kendra Swan.

  “Here,” Kathleen said, pressing the bills she owed her for baby-sitting into Kendra’s hand “Nice seeing you both. I need to go get my girls.”

  She darted away with a smile and a wave. Whew! That was close, she thought, making a beeline for the classroom where Mandie and Jamie went for children’s church during the sermon.

  They returned home. Kathleen’s hopes that Jon would drop by unexpectedly were not fulfilled, and she chastised herself for being so anxious to see him. One little note from him, and you’re ready to welcome him home? Hadn’t she learned anything in the last two years?

  After eating a simple lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, apple slices, and corn chips with her daughters, Jamie asked if they could go skating again. Kathleen said no. First of all she didn’t have that kind of money to be giving in to her daughters’ every wish, and second, she wanted to be home if Jon stopped by.

  ***

  Jon paced the tiny living room of his small apartment, wondering if he should call Katie. He wanted to, but he decided to give her some time. Time to think. Time to consider his shocking words. Time to cool off if they’d made her angry.

  What if she didn’t open the card at all? What if she tossed it into the trash? The thought disturbed him. He picked up the phone to find out. He had to know if his words had even been read.

  No. He must leave this in God’s hands. Pastor Tom had said letting God be in control was crucial. If Katie was meant to read the card, He would see to it that she did. If not, he must wait and tell her some other way.

  ***

  The faculty parking lot was nearly full by the time Kathleen pulled in front of the elementary school on Monday morning. Dashing through the Oregon rain, she hurried Mandie and Jamie through the front doors. She kissed them both before sending them on their way to the cafeteria to have breakfast.

  With the cold and flu season in full swing, the office phone rang incessantly from the moment Kathleen entered the room until ten o’clock with parents calling to report their children would not be in attendance today.

  Despite the busy morning, she couldn’t complain about her job. She had been fortunate to find the assistant secretarial opening halfway through the school year two years ago when Jon had left her. She had worked off and on during their six-year marriage but at that time had been enjoying being a full-time mom. Now she had no such option. Jon had continued to provide the money for their monthly mortgage payment and some other bills for the last two years, but not enough for her to live without earning her own money too.

  Being a secretary may not have been her first career choice, but it allowed her to work in the same building that her daughters attended school. Her goal of becoming a teacher had been set aside when she had unexpectedly become a mom at the age of nineteen--only allowing her to complete one year of college. She and Jon had been determined to get her back into school as soon as he completed his degree in engineering, but a second unplanned pregnancy, a year after Amanda had joined their family, had forced Jon to put off his education too.

  With her stomach growling ferociously by lunchtime, Kathleen drove Jamie to the home day-care run by one of her close friends since kindergartners only attended half-days. Kathleen declined Hannah’s offer to stay for lunch and stopped for some fast food on the way back to the school. She would have liked to talk with her friend about Jon’s shocking note but knew she wouldn’t have Hannah’s full attention with kids surrounding them.

  Returning to the school parking lot, she ate her food and sipped her drink, still unable to get Jon out of her thoughts. He had been different since Christmas, she realized. He had been less distant, showing more concern for her and the girls.

  Part of her wanted to pretend she had never read the card. She could tell him she’d thrown it away without opening it if he asked. But she had never been good at lying. He would know she had seen his words. And she didn’t want to let this go--not yet. Not until she knew why he had written them and what his heart was feeling.

  She wouldn’t call, but she would wait for him to share his heart. She would listen and dare to hope. Hearing him out could not hurt her any more than she already was.

  The call came when she least expected it. She had waited all week, expecting him to call in the evening, but his voice surprised her on Saturday morning while she loaded the dishwasher after breakfast. He only had the girls every other Saturday, so she didn’t have any reason to think she would be hearing from him today.

  “Are you busy? I’d like to talk.”

  “The girls wanted to go ice skating,” she replied as calmly as possible.

  “We could all go,” he suggested. “I’ll buy us pizza for dinner. Then maybe this evening we could have time for just you and me.”

  “I don’t want to confuse the girls, Jon. I could get a baby-sitter for this evening and meet you somewhere.”

  He hesitated but didn’t argue. Agreeing to meet her at a local restaurant at six o’clock, he let her go. She didn’t regret her decision. She didn’t want to give Amanda and Jamie false hope, but she didn’t want to wait any longer to hear what Jon had to say. This had been one of the longest weeks of her life.

  After lunch she did take the girls to the rink. She had stopped along the wall to rest and watch Mandie practice a spin when she heard Jon’s voice behind her.

  “Looks great, Manda,” he shouted over her shoulder. Katie turned to find him less than six inches away. He smiled cautiously.

  “Daddy!” Amanda cried, coming over to get a kiss from her father. He leaned over the railing where he stood inside the snack bar area. Jamie spotted him also and came racing over.

  “What are you doing here, Daddy?” Mandie asked. Kathleen was eager to hear his explanation herself.

  “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d come by and see if you happened to be here today,” he replied, flashing a smile Katie’s way. That same smile that she had found so adorable on the first day of her junior year of high school when she had discovered he had been assigned the locker right next to hers.

  Amanda and Jamie didn’t have any reason to question his explanation. They often spent their Saturdays here. The girls had taken lessons last spring and summer, but currently Kathleen couldn’t afford to pay for them. Bringing them on Saturdays was a compromise.

  “Are you mad?” Jon asked after the girls skated away.

  Kathleen answered without looking at him. “No.”

  “Do you care if I stick around? The session’s almost over, isn’t it?”

  “Ten more minutes,” she replied. “What did you have in mind?”

  “I’ll buy us all some cookies and soda or something. Then I’ll go.”

  “Okay,” she agreed, pushing herself away from the wall to follow her girls across the ice.

  CHAPTER THREE

  At six o’clock Katie entered the Italian restaurant and scanned the lobby for Jon’s tall frame.
It didn’t take her long to spot him standing in the small crowd. He had been watching for her and waved her over.

  She weaved her way through the sea of bodies. When she reached him standing along the wall, not much space was available. Out of necessity he put his arm around her shoulders and drew her close.

  “I was afraid you might not come,” he said, letting out a relieved sigh.

  She lifted her face to look into his eyes. He stood a half-foot taller than herself. Her mouth felt bone dry. “I said I would.”

  He ran his fingers down her spine, letting his palm rest on the small of her back. “Thanks for coming,” he replied, softly kissing the top of her head.

  Kathleen closed her eyes and took a deep breath. What is going on? She felt like she had been caught in a time warp. Glancing at each of their hands, she checked to see that their rings were absent. No, she wasn’t dreaming. He hadn’t treated her this way in years. Tender and affectionate had been some of his better qualities back when they had been dating and early in their marriage, but his heart had hardened somewhere along the way.

  The thought that she might lose him someday had never crossed her mind when they had spoken words of love and commitment at the age of eighteen. She wanted the man she had married back in her life. That other man--the one that had abandoned her--was a stranger.

  They didn’t have to wait too much longer before the hostess led them to their table in one of the dining areas. Their server arrived within moments to get their beverage and appetizer orders, then left them to scan the entrée selections.

  Peeking over the laminated menu, Kathleen studied her husband. He was as handsome as ever. Deep brown hair cut above his ears and high on the back of his neck, chocolate-brown eyes, rugged jaw line. He looked older though. His boyish face had become much more manly in the last two years. She darted her eyes back to her menu when he looked up.

  “What are you having?” he asked.

  She thought quickly, naming the first thing that her eyes fell on. “Chicken Parmigiana. You?”

  “I think I’ll have the--”

  Lasagna, she mouthed the word as he spoke it out loud.

  “Hey,” he quipped. “I saw that.”

  She put down her menu and lifted her eyebrows. “Some things never change,” she said warmly.

  ***

  Jon enjoyed sitting across from Katie once again. It was great to see her smiling at him. They hadn’t been this nice to one another in ages. Mostly he was the one who had been in the wrong. Although, she had spat angry words on more than one occasion--and rightly so. He felt ashamed of how he had treated her for the last few years, wondering how he had ever sunk so low. Looking back, his selfishness seemed unreal, although at the time he had managed to justify himself.

  I’m never going to get a decent job if I don’t go back to school and get my degree, Kathleen. I can’t work at a grocery store for the rest of my life. I deserve to reach my full potential, to live my dreams.

  Katie had begged him to wait until the girls were both in school and she could go back to work to help them make ends meet. She didn’t want to miss out on their daughters’ preschool years any more than she already had. But he had feared she would get pregnant again, despite their switch in birth control methods, and he would have to wait even longer.

  His bitterness and resentment continued to grow until he couldn’t take it anymore. He felt so trapped. He had married Katie after they had finished high-school so they could be together, not to become a dad at the age of nineteen.

  Swallowing the persistent lump in his throat when they had finished their meal, he asked if she wanted dessert, certain she would say yes. But she passed on the chocolate mousse cake this time--said she was watching her sugar intake to shed a few pounds. She didn’t look like she needed to be shedding anything to him. Her beauty and great curves had only gotten better with time. He had married a girl, she had become a lovely woman over the last eight years. He found her more attractive than ever.

  He suggested they go someplace more private and quiet to talk. She agreed. They drove their separate vehicles to the park near the house they had purchased with the help of his parents. Jon got out of his truck and reached her car door just as she opened it. Her surprised expression made his heart ache. She didn’t expect him to bother with such a simple gesture? He had a long way to go.

  The evening air felt brisk, and he saw Katie take her mittens out of her coat pocket. Darkness had fallen hours ago, but the park was well lit. They walked to a familiar spot, a bench alongside the playground where they had brought the girls when they were younger. He often still brought them here on his scheduled Saturdays and knew Katie probably accompanied them here often also.

  “I assume you read the card,” he said, fumbling for the right words. Just how did one go about suggesting such an outlandish idea? He and Pastor Tom had role-played this scenario a few times, but all the rehearsed lines seemed to have escaped him now.

  “Yes,” she replied, giving no indication of her feelings on the matter. The only encouraging sign he could draw from was that she was here at all.

  “I meant it, Katie. Every word.”

  She remained silent for what seemed like an eternity. “Why?” she finally asked. “Are you almost finished with school and have time for us again?”

  Her words stung, but he didn’t try to defend himself. He knew there was no room for him to let his ego get in the way. He had backed himself into this corner, not Katie.

  ***

  Kathleen waited for Jon’s answer, feeling slight regret for her tone. She hated sarcasm and rarely used such tactics, but Jon seemed to have brought out the worst in her during the last two years. There had been a time when she could not imagine feeling angry toward him, not real anger. Sure they’d had their disagreements and quarrels during those early years, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed with a simple apology and make-up kiss.

  Jon had been her knight in shining armor, her hero, her trusted friend for many years, starting with their first date at the homecoming dance during the fall of their junior year, six weeks after she had met him by their adjacent lockers. He had moved to her hometown during the summer from northern California.

  He hadn’t ever touched her before that night, and the moment he took her hand to lead her onto the dance floor, she entered another world, one where they were the only two people who existed.

  Sensing Jon’s nervousness here and now, she waited for a reply. She was about to apologize for her caustic remark when he finally spoke.

  “I only completed one term of school,” he confessed, taking her by surprise. He had never mentioned dropping out, and she honestly thought he might be close to finishing.

  “One?”

  He sighed and dropped his eyes. “I enrolled right after I left as I had planned, but I had been away too long and fell behind early. One of my professors suggested I take a few courses I had taken before, just as a refresher, and then return that fall to try again. So that’s what I did. But then when it came time to go back for a second term, my heart wasn’t in it. I dropped out after a few weeks, hoping to return that spring, but then I missed the registration deadline and wasn’t able to get into some of the classes I needed.”

  Katie didn’t know what to say. What did all this mean? He loved school, always had. He’d been a straight A student, class valedictorian. She couldn’t imagine “his heart not being in it.”

  “So, you never went back?” she asked.

  “I did. This last fall. I was doing well, but then I got the flu, came close to getting pneumonia, and had to miss two weeks of classes.”

  “I didn’t know you were sick,” she said, feeling concerned and wondering how he could have hid it from her.

  As if reading her thoughts he replied. “I said I had to work the Saturday I missed with the girls. I didn’t want you to know.”

  She vaguely remembered him missing a weekend last November, shortly before Thanksgiving. It hadn’t been a big
deal because he rarely let the girls down. She had let it slide without much thought.

  “By the time I returned to classes, it was too late,” he continued. “I’d fallen too far behind and had no way of making up what I had missed. I withdrew a week before finals. I haven’t been back since.”

  Despite her anger and the hurt he had caused, Kathleen couldn't help but feel sad. Not so much for the circumstances he’d faced, but for an underlying sense of remorse she heard in his voice. Hearing him admit his failure struck a chord of sympathy within her. But she needed to know why he wanted to work things out between them. His failure to reach his goals was not a good enough reason.

  “What’s changed, Jon? Why do you want back into our marriage now? You’ve been gone for two years. Have you forgotten how bad things got between us?”

  “No, I haven’t,” he said, swallowing hard and reaching for her hand. “I’m sorry for everything I put you through, Katie. I know this isn’t going to happen overnight, but I hope you will give me the chance to show you how sincere I am.

  “During those weeks when I was sick I became very angry with God. Before when things hadn’t always gone the way I planned, I had taken it out on you. But when you weren’t there to blame, I realized the bitterness I held toward God for all the setbacks we’d faced.”

  He paused and took a deep breath. Tears formed in his eyes, and he continued with a shaky voice.

  “For the first time in my life, I told God that I hated Him. And for the next month I carried that horrible thought around. If you thought I had sunk low during the last months before I left, you should have seen me then. I was a mess and took out my frustration on everyone I met, including people at work. One day I yelled at this teenager on her first day and made her cry. It was awful.