Pauper, Brawler and Slanderer

by Tutuola, Amos

  Well, among the countless young men who were struggling hard to gain the golden love of lass Popondoro, were Slanderer and Pauper. But Pauper and Slanderer were sojourners in Abalabi town and both were also close friends from their native town, Laketu.

  But of course Brawler, whose brawls were just like ‘outbreak of fire which makes one run’, in her brawls did not forget Pauper, her husband. But she was still going about looking for him, although the strange pompous beauty of this damsel had forced Pauper to forget Brawler entirely.

  But Slanderer had started immediately to find one way or the other to put Pauper in serious trouble from the day that he knew that he was one of those who were struggling to win the love of Popondoro. Slanderer was doing so because he knew well that Pauper was a very strong man but that he himself was a great sloth. But of course ‘a hard-working man is the enemy of a lazy man’.

  As the days went on the terrible war to win the golden love of Popondoro, the possessor of ‘beauty of magnet’, was becoming more tense among the young men. When the Oba, chiefs and elders noticed this and were sure that famine was imminent to invade the town, then they summoned an emergency meeting immediately onto the assembly ground, in front of the Oba’s palace. At this meeting, father and mother of expensive Popondoro, were present.

  ‘Well, you all chiefs, the elders and the Oba who is the ruler of earth and who is second to the gods, and you all the rest of the people!’ One chief stood up and first addressed the gathering. ‘You are welcome.’

  ‘The cause of summoning this emergency meeting is to let us sit and discuss together about the action that we should take to discourage the young men of the town from Popondoro’s strange “beauty of magnet” which came miraculously on her a few months ago!’ Another one of the chiefs made the object of the emergency meeting known to the gathering.

  ‘Yes, you are correct. We must find the resolution which will stop the young men from following maiden Popondoro about, and which forced them to abandon their farms!’ one of the elders suggested in earnest.

  ‘And as the young men have abandoned their farms, surely, a serious famine will soon invade the town!’ another chief supported the first chief in earnest.

  ‘But I suggest a motion on what we should do to stop this on-coming famine, that we take Popondoro away from the town at once and hide her in one of our neighbouring towns. But then, when her wooers or suitors do not see her any more, all will go back to their farms!’ another one of the elders moved this motion with restlessness of mind.

  ‘Thank you very much. To take Popondoro away from the town is the only thing which will lessen the trouble in the town!’ All of the chiefs and elders jointly approved that advice.

  ‘But beware, you all chiefs and elders! If you take our daughter, Popondoro, away from this town which is her native town, this means, in fact, you deprive her of her right! For this reason, we are opposed to all of your proposals!’ Popondoro’s father and mother protested glumly.

  I

  ‘All right, it is not bad if you are opposed to all of our proposals. My own proposal is that it is very necessary to find a sort of drastic solution which will minimize her suitors and avoid bloodshed among them. Unless we examine every one of them very carefully and know his character, then we should choose one whose character is the best to marry Popondoro!’ the Oba who spoke last, brought this advice.

  ‘Yes! This advice is the best of all!’ the gathering of the chiefs, elders, Popondoro’s father and mother shouted in joy, and then they adopted the Oba’s advice immediately.

  But having adopted the Oba’s advice, the chiefs and the Oba gave order to the elders to examine the character of every one of Popondoro’s suitors. They told them to bring the name of the suitor whose character was the best to them in a short time. Then the Oba brought the meeting to an end and then everyone returned to his or her house, expecting the result of the investigation.

  But then the elders started their assignment at once. When they had examined the suitors for several days without sleeping and resting, they found two men whose characters seemed the best and who were eligible to marry Popondoro, whose strange ‘beauty of magnet’ was attracting people with full force.

  The first man who was eligible was Slanderer, who was a close friend of Pauper. The second man was Pauper. The reason for selecting Slanderer was that he had wicked cunnings and was giving unfounded rumours to the Oba and his chiefs, though he was lazy.

  The reason for choosing the second man. Pauper, was that he was a very perfect wood-carver. Even the people of the town, the Oba, the chiefs and the elders greatly admired the statue of the Oba which he carved from the wood. The statue resembled the Oba so much that the people and thousands of people of the other towns were rushing to the Aafin to see the statue with their eyes.

  But it was a great pity that, in fact. Pauper was as strong as a buffalo and that he was number one wood-carver in Abalabi town, yet his destiny of poverty and wretchedness did not let money remain in his hands so long but he was wearing the same dirty rags about all days. Yet, Pauper would not believe that deshny existed.

  It was like that the elders selected two men as those who were eligible to marry Popondoro, instead of one man among all of the young men who were struggling hard to win her love.

  In the long run, when the result of the selection was out, the other suitors who were not selected and who were more than three thousand, started to grumble about in the town. Soon after, serious troubles started all over the town unexpectedly. The people of the town divided into three parts.

  The people of the first part supported and followed Slanderer. Even though he was a sojourner in Abalabi town, he was the one who created the troubles with his wicked cunnings, particularly in respect of Pauper of whom he was a close friend.

  The people of the second part backed and followed Pauper who was also a sojourner in this town.

  Meanwhile the people of the third part protested, saying they did not welcome the selection, especially the way that the elders made it. They added to their protest that all they wanted was that the elders should make a kind of competition for the whole of Popondoro’s suitors. The people of this same third part told the elders that they should remove Slanderer and Pauper out of the race. They said that they did not want sojourners to take part in the competition. But of course, the elders refused to take Slanderer and Pauper away from the competition. They told them that though they were sojourners, they were eligible to do such a thing as this one with the sons of the soil.

  A few days later Slanderer started to put the oil into the fire of the scuffle with his wicked cunnings. The scuffle became so serious that Popondoro’s suitors began to kill one another. And as time went on the suitors were dying in masses every day.

  But in this great disaster, again. Slanderer began to cause riot all over the town. He ‘shot the bow into the sky and then he covered himself with a mortar’. The people of the town and even the domestic animals were so confused that they did not know which was which this time.

  When this disaster continued to spread on and on, the elders and chiefs did not waste time but they started to try their best to restore peace and order in the town. They were holding meetings both day and night, yet all their efforts failed.

  In the end, they saw that their power could not stop this disaster, which Slanderer turned later to civil war, whether they liked it or not. They agreed to design a kind of very tough competition for all Popondoro’s suitors.

  At their meeting, the elder made a law which entitled the winner of the competition to marry Popondoro, the possessor of ^beauty of magnet’.

  But then, a few days later, the elders invited the suitors to the assembly ground, in front of the palace. Having seen that all of them sat and were rapt but fastened their eyes on them, then the elders’ Herald announced to the suitors that: ‘Just to stop the bloodshed and killings and scuffle which have started in the town for the past few days, and having examined the situation of the to
wn and of the people as a whole, we saw that the town and the innocent people would be ruined in a short time. But then we the elders, the chiefs and the Oba agreed to make a competition for you as you have requested us to do!’

  The Herald continued, he said: ‘But the drastic competition is to make heaps on the field which we have already provided. And each of you will make twenty-one heaps. But any one of you who finishes his own first will be the winner and then he will marry Popondoro, the damsel!’

  The Herald went on, he said: ‘My advice is that every one of you should prepare himself ready with his hoe and cutlass, because the competihon will take place in the morning of seven days to come! Do you all agree to make the competition of heaps or not?’ Thus the Herald for the chiefs, the Oba and elders announced to the suitors.

  ‘We all agree to make the competition with happiness!’ maiden Popondoro’s suitors shouted at one time with great joy and contentment. Then the Herald brought the meeting to an end. And the suitors returned to their houses with laughter.

  But it was as from that day every one of the suitors started to prepare himself ready for this tough wife competition, except Slanderer, who was a sloth among of the rest. He did not bother to prepare himself ready for he did not like a competition, because he was very sure that he would not be able to make even five heaps when his rivals would finish their own.

  But of course, ‘the shelf is just telling a lie, the loads belong to the ceiling’. Slanderer is not strong enough to win this sort of competition at all. Even if ‘a dog wears the garment of fire, tiger the apron of blood and cat wraps its buttocks with rags, they are all in the same line with the carnivorous animals’. But Slanderer was one of thieves, sloths, tale-bearers and murderers. He was not tough enough to compete with Pauper, the man who was three-in-one.

  However Slanderer might cause confusion and scuffle in the town, in the end, all his efforts would be in vain, unless he won this competition he would not be eligible to marry Popondoro.

  Although, on the other hand, it was perfectly sure that Slanderer was so lazy that it was impossible for him to win the competition as ‘danger is on the farm of “Longe” and “Longe” himself is a danger’, so Slanderer was a danger entirely.

  For instance. Slanderer with the help of his wicked cunnings, knew a powerful spell-man. After he had got a large sum of money from Slanderer, he prepared one powerful amulet for him before the day of the competition arrived. The work of the amulet was that when one spoke to it to do something, it would do it immediately. So Slanderer kept this amulet in his room.

  After, he bought one cutlass which was a little bigger than a table-knife, then one hoe which was as small as a ladle. He kept them in his room as well. That was how Slanderer prepared himself ready for the tough wife competition.

  But Pauper, the Father of Wretchedness, and the rest of the suitors put their hope on their hoes, cutlasses and their power, while Slanderer put his hope on his amulet and cunnings.

  13

  THE DAY OF THE

  WIFE COMPETITION

  ARRIVES

  When the day of the wife competition arrived, it was hardly daybreak when the whole of the competitors came and gathered in front of the Aafin or palace. Everyone held his hoe and cutlass. Then they were expecting the elders and chiefs to arrive.

  But soon, little children, young and old, women and men, came and they stood round the suitor competitors in several circles. But then all of them began to mock at Slanderer continuously till when the chiefs and elders arrived. And they sat impressively in their seats, according to the title which each of them held in the office. Then they were expecting the father, mother and Popondoro to arrive.

  A little after, father, mother and beauhful Popondoro, in her gorgeous dresses, arrived with their well-wishers, singers, drummers and minstrels.

  Popondoro’s father and mother sat in special carved seats. Popondoro sat amidst her father and mother. Their well-wishers sat on their left and right while the drummers, singers and minstrels who did not sit continued their amusements and dance.

  Haa! That big morning, Popondoro, the damsel of damsels, beautified her delicate body much with the multifarious, gorgeous dresses that the glory of her ‘beauty of magnet’ increased to what could not be described simply by human beings.

  And this glory of her beauty was such that thousands of people forced themselves into the circles of people with kick and fist in order to see Popondoro with their eyes on her beauty and enjoy her strange beautiful dresses, even if for only one minute before the chiefs and elders took her onto the proposed field of competition.

  As lady Popondoro’s ‘beauty of magnet’ forced uncountable spectators with its power of attraction to move here and there without their wish, just so it was forcing her suitors who were in a single line with their hoes and cutlasses in their hands to move heavily here and there. The beauty of her dresses and of herself began to intoxicate the whole people like hot drinks.

  Not only this, but as her suitors forced themselves to stand stiffly on the line like the soldiers, and as they were looking at Popondoro with half an eye, soon the powerful magnet of her beauty began to attract them so much that they were unable to stand still at this time any more. But it forced them to stagger bit by bit towards the beautiful spot on which she sat amidst her father and mother.

  ‘Haaa! Even if Popondoro can be my wife just for only one day! How happy will I be on earth!’ one of Popondoro’s suitors greedily yelled, suddenly.

  ‘Haaa! But let glory and honour be to Creator who has lavished this kind of great “beauty of magnet” on Popondoro!’ The spectators and other people were not aware when they began to shout in great earnest, at intervals to Popondoro.

  ‘Sip! Look at this nuisance, an habitual tale-bearer, a sluggard and a rogue! He is holding the hoe and cutlass of poverty and he wants to marry Popondoro, the possessor of “beauty of magnet”! “We call a dog but the goat comes out”. You foolish evil man who wants to marry Popondoro! Better you bolt away from this place now! Because “the elephant’s head is not a load which a child can carry”.’ It was thus the spectators and other people derided and browbeat Slanderer that morning.

  ‘Hun-un! You are stupid indeed; like the bird called “So” which cries once in a year! Even if I am the most backward among us the suitors of Popondoro, I’m sure that I’m just like “a leper who cannot extract milk but can overturn it”.’ Slanderer gnashed and he explained in anger to the people. ‘And further,’ Slanderer went on, ‘I know that I’m lazy more than the rest of Popondoro’s suitors!’ Slanderer continued to disclose to the people, he said: ‘But surely, “I have a junior brother who is stronger than me”/ Slanderer explained to the people in indirect word.

  But then as soon as Slanderer had told the people and the spectators like that, he was about to tell the ground to split and enter into it when the whole of the people/etc. snubbed him from head to feet. But of course, the spectators and others did not understand that Slanderer was just pointing out to them that even if he was a sluggard, he had bought a powerful magic amulet which he would use for the competition.

  The spectators and others still continued to despise him though shame had depressed him now. The chiefs arrived in their beautiful and costly dresses. And as soon as they had seated, their Herald announced to the crowd of people, he said: ‘Now, let all people listen to me! It is this morning that Popondoro’s suitors will go and do their competition on the proposed field! So it is time now to move onto the field!’

  But then the Oba’s Iko carried the chairs and then they started to go to the field.

  So all Popondoro’s suitors, elders, chiefs, Popondoro’s father, mother, herself, the drummers, singers, minstrels, well-wishers and uncountable spectators started to jump high up and dance in great joy along the way to the field of the competition.

  The Oba’s Iko set the chairs in rows as soon as all had danced merrily to the field. Popondoro’s father and mother sat in the chairs which w
ere on the first row. Popondoro, in her gorgeous dresses, sat between her father and mother, while their well-wishers sat on their left and right.

  The chiefs sat on the chairs of the second row, all elders sat on the third row, nobles on the fourth row, while the spectators or crowd of people sat on the chairs of the fifth row, which were behind the rest.

  As soon as the people had seated themselves comfortably they were anxious to see the competitors in action, the Herald led them to the second end of the field. He set them abreast in a row, facing the people or gathering on the first end of the field.

  Having done so, he returned to the first end. But as he continued his arrangement, the morning sun appeared suddenly from the east of this field of competition, with its golden rays.

  After the Herald had finished and was satisfied, and the gathering of people saw plainly that there was no partiality in his arrangement, then he returned to the competitors and he shouted: ‘Now, let all of you get ready!’ As he commanded, every one of them held his hoe ready for action. After, he shouted to them again: ‘Let you bend down with your hoes in hands!’ When they responded to his command, he shouted again: ‘Start to make your heaps towards the gathering of people who are facing you!’

  But then when they started their heaps, he returned to the people, he sat on a chair and there he kept watching them.

  To everyone’s surprise, as soon as the sun had shone from the east, a strange peaceful breeze started to blow onto the gathering of people just as if it knew what was happening on the field that day. And all at a sudden, the golden rays of the sun formed a strange beautiful crown on Popondoro’s head. The people including Popondoro’s father and mother were greatly alarmed and squirmed when they saw the beauty which the crown of the sun-rays added to Popondoro’s ‘beauty of magnet’ unexpectedly at this time.